The moment I returned to the land of the living after finishing my discussion with Doppel, Kylie pounced on me, a diabetes inducing happy smile on her face. "YOU'RE NOT BORG'D!" She squealed in delight, wrapping her hooves around my neck.
"Bor-," I stopped as I heard something that was most definitely not my normal voice, "What the... is that my voice?" I sounded like a godddamn Argonian!
"Whoa, you sound freaky," Kylie said bluntly. Gee, thanks for the morale boost.
"What are you talking about?"
"Your voice?"
"No, before that," I rolled my eyes, "I was Borg'd?" In all honesty, I was impressed she knew of Star Trek in the first place.
"Dalton went to get you from the restroom when you didn't come back after awhile, and when he dragged you back, you were all zombified and stuff."
I wouldn't call it zombification; I'd call it more of a thousand yard stare.
Looking about, I noticed I was back in the camper. Jeeze, she wasn't kidding about me being zombified. I don't remember leaving the restroom, let alone getting back in the camper.
"Oh and Unkee," Kylie looked up at me, "are you right handed?"
Okay that was an odd question, "Yeah, why?"
"Just raise your hand," she said simply.
I did as she asked and there was just a stump in place of my hand.
THAT WAS OUR FAPPING HAND!!!
"Buck me sideways with a cactus," I sighed in defeat, "guess I gotta be a lefty now..." There was no point in flipping out, considering what else has happened already. As I looked at my arms, I noticed that bony plates had started forming on my arms.
Well, we're now at pony legs, ears, fins, eyes, the formation of a carapace, holes, and now a hoof. I'd say we are gonna be full bug by tomorrow morning.
As much as I hate to say it, I think you're right.
Of course, I'm always right. Though this time I don't wanna cheer.
Kyle gave me a concerned look, "You okay Unkee?"
"Yeah, just have a lot on my mind." I couldn't help but d'aww at her. This little filly was cute at EVERYTHING. Seriously, she could tell me I was gonna die of cancer and I would still squee at her cuteness.
I have a feeling we'll get all the love we need from her.
Agreed, till this is reversed, keep her close 24/7.
Till this is reversed? Face it man, we're in a one way train to bug city as there's no refunds.
Yes there is! Why else would those boobs who caused this be holding this convention?
To tell the world they dun goofed big time. Do you think they magically managed to produce a shot that will reverse this?!
They got to have something!
Face the facts mate: Kylie is fully changed; Sage is a walking shag carpet that I know you wanna cuddle; Dalton is turning into horse Dracula, and you'r-
Going insane.
Dude, you've been talking to me long before this started happening. Your sanity has always been questionable.
That is a good point.
And let's not forget about the stiffie you had after basically groping Dalton.
Ignoring my brain; I looked at my neice, "Kylie where's Dalton?"
"He's in the back sleeping." Well, add another point to the 'thestrals are nocturnal' count.
"And his cutie mark is a pillow."
"What?"
"While you were out, he got pony legs like yours and they have a pillow on them," she state matter of factly, "makes sense considering his pony is called Goodnight."
I groaned; great, now there is another reason for me to stare at his ass.
"Oh," she gave me a shit eating grin, "he's not wearing any pants."
If I had been drinking something, it would have been spit all over the room. Rather naughty thoughts filled my head as I glared down at my niece. "I hate you so much right now," I hissed.
"Love you too Unkee."
"It's great to see you didn't develop a hive mind," Sage said happily as I sat down in the shotgun seat.
"Nope," I shook my head, "Always hated that headcanon anyways. I was just having a lovely talk with Doppel." 'After I tried to beat the hell out of him,' I mentally added.
Chicago was now a lot closer, its cityscape were taking up most of the horizon in front of us. A quick glance down at the GPS said that we were a mere 20 miles from the city limits.
"What did he tell you?"
"A few things like don't try to change or fly till I'm fully changed. That I'd be a splatter if I fly or not fully change." I cringed slightly as the image of the malformed mass of flesh Doppel had conjured up to prove the point.
"Goodnight basically told Dalton the same thing. He said human bones are too heavy to fly while pegasi bones are hollow."
Huh, that makes sense I guess. Then what about changelings, how the hell does that work?
In the words of a great philosopher, I dunno?
"So, while on the subject, has yours told you anything?"
"All Sage told me is to keep out of mud bec-"
"Wait," I couldn't help but snicker, which sounds more like a more like a headcrab than a actual laugh, "your OC's name is Sage too?"
Sage sighed, rolling her eyes, "Yes, it is. She's my 'sona, and it worked as a pony name."
"And is the cutie mark a certain type of herb," I asked, my voice dripping with sarcasm. I was uncreative with some of my OCs but that is ridiculous.
She laughed dryly, "No, her mark depended on what I felt like. And before you ask, she isn't a gardener either."
"Well, whatever it could be I bet it wasn't as silly as a pillow."
She nodded in agreement, "So is Doppel actually your ponysona too?"
I shook my head, "Nope, Dop was actually a gift from Kylie for my birthday last month. Just your typical poorly done kid's drawing but I kept it because changelings are my favorite villains from the show aside from Discord of course. I actually use him for RPs with a friend of mine; even got himself a coltfriend to-"
I slapped my hand over my mouth. Damn it, I said too much!
Sage sighed, a air of annoyance coming off her, "For Pete's sake, he knows Johnny! We all know!"
"I.... What... WHAT!!!!!!" My jaw hit the floor as pressed flat against my head.
"Yeah, we all know. You weren't exactly subtle with your sudden bathroom break."
The blood rushed to my cheeks as my mind started running on all pistons, "What does Dalton think?" Does he hate me? Banish me to the moon and lock me in LunarMax!?
Whoa whoa whoa, calm down boy! You're turning into Lesson Zero Twilight on me!
I'm not overreacting brain; this is a totally logical reaction considering the circumstances!
"He hasn't said a word," she sighed, "You need to tell him Johnny. This is just making it awkward for everypony involved."
"I know, I know," I sighed, "I'll tell him tonight or when he wakes up." I know it might invoke the wrath of Murphy but what else could possibly go wrong.
Amazing.
I love it XD
Dude... you just jinxed yourself.
Borg'd. Loved it.
5655670
That's the point
5656444
Was watching a lot of TNG yesterday
By the power of physics... I HAVE THE ANSWER!
Insect flight works entirely differently from avian or mechanical flight. The exact way it works was actually kept top secret by the US military for many years because it is also the exact same way military helicopters work/get that super maneuverability.
Insect's fly by moving their wings in a figure 8 pattern while twisting them. The wings generate lift normally while moving on the X portion of their motion, but when they curve at ether end to start going the other direction, the insect actually stalls. In the very first instant of a stall a flying object experiences an instant of extremely high lift before lift just vanishes. But, the insect is able to move it's wings so fast that before the stall progresses to the falling phase they are generating lift normal again. This creates a cycle of "extreme lift, normal lift, extreme lift, normal lift" which allows the insect to fly even though their wings should be too small for them to fly, or they should be too heavy. As a result, insects don't "swim" through the air like a bird or surf the air like a plane, they ride, direct, and control a pillar of high pressure air they create themselves.
As a science geek, I did the math. Assuming a changeling has the same density as the larger arthropods on Earth like the Coconut crab and Tree Lobster, and that the 8 foot candy cane can be used for scale to get their volume, a changeling is:
~ .89 M tall and ~.84 M long
~14.51 kg
~120.7 km/h Cursing speed (flying)
~ 217.26 km/h Top speed (flying)
5656906
SCIENCE!!!
5657079 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z64jyMfzRg
5657124
lets see here how bad can it go wrong:
get zapped by an intended spell as a decoy for something else.
turn into a po.... nope that is already happened.
go into.... no thats just a no...
5656906
Nifty
so his special talent is like, pillow fighting?
5658238
I was kust going for him being lazy :P
5658207
some other brony flips crap and attacks him
I can name some too :P
5658238 I hope his special talent is being an awesome pillow. That would rock.
5658280
Johnny falls asleep on him XD
5658310 8D Do it!
5658330
I will ^^
And right after [REDACTED]
5658352 Stop teasing me with cute bestfriends hook up yaoi possibilities :c
5658357
And then [REDACTED] happens followed by [REDACTED]...
Johnny. Man. NEVER underestimate the wrath of Murphy.
Also, it's spelled 'Stretch', dude.
5658628
that shall be fixed
he should have learned :P
the story seem developing well, I just looking forward at finding out what is going to append in the convention center.
5660867
Will have to wait for the parent fic to update of course
YOU HAVE INVOKED THE WRATH OF MURPHY'S LAW!
.... for a second time.
5669150
that's the plan
Gettin' all Kafka up in this bitch, amirite!?
He was the very first "ling"-fan! xD
5682424
No clue what any of that ment?
5685799 In that case, look up Franz Kafka: The Metamorphosis
It's about a dude who turns into a bug!
5685926
Ahh
anybirdy no how contact discord? he makes sense in a strange way.
5713100
Adopted? I dunno, I was playing a lotta dishonored when I wrote that chapter
Oooo, it's getting to good! How long do you estimate until the next chapter is ready for upload?
5790474
WELl, it depends on how long it takes the parent fic to update to be totally honest
And I'm glad to hear you like it
5790947 Which one is the parent fic?
5792555
There a link right there
5604307
5792891 Okay, thanks.
5796526
No problem
6079652
I just had that happen for tits and giggles in all honesty
5900261
Johnny's OC is a changeling, and says that changeling are pan sexual, meaning they can be attracted to all sexes. Changeling s are both male and female. Dalton's OC is a male.
5790947
Have you ever considered breaking off from the parent fic and just writing this how you want?
6110171
Hmm... You've got me there but I'm already considered canon. Despite the weakness of the parent fic
6110171
5900261
Plus I thought it would be utterly hilarious to have happen
6110180
It was. XD
6110184
And this was primarily written for chuckles and hahas
6110186
I can tell. One thing I think we would all like to see more of, is OC interaction and maybe Dalton, or Sage's point of view.
6110227
Hmm... I think I may be able to pencil in some oc stuff
6110239
Like maybe more OC's? Oraybe readers can fill out a Google form, and their OC could get added?
I'm just throwing some ideas out there.
6110252
I've already got all the characters I'll need; besides I got one or two crossover chapters with at least Greycait's OCTales fic
6110256
oooo, sounds interesting. Can't wait! :D
6110271
That is whenever I get around to writing on this again
6110893 of course. take your time.
6110960
Might I suggest taking a look at the tale of the misfits
6110974 OK, will do!
6111100
I have a feeling you'll like it
Also thanks for the fave