Life has a way of throwing unexpected twists and turns, one thing you never expected was being the adopted son of a sun goddess of a different universe. Boy, life sure does love screwing with you. [Remake of Teenagers]
Don't git me wrong, I like the premise of this story but I find the story to be confusing and hard to follow. You keep jumping around the story line and you are not giving the needed background for the next part of the story. I can see that you are following the MLP story line but hardly giving details of his life in the living part of Equestria. when he was a baby, he received his pocket watch. We did not see him grow up or when he use the watch for the first time. Why did Celestia not let him know that she is one of the spirit guides?
5476005 the past chapters cover a small portion of his life and it'll skip from being a baby to a toddler in one more past chapter. Yes I know it's confusing but all you gotta know is that Dante is the main hero meaning there will be demons after him and trying to kill him. Villains in the MLP verse will be present but won't fight Dante as he isn't seen as a threat. Oh and I'll try to put a little sign up on the story to make an episode apparent.
5476005 When did the story say Celestia was a spirit guide? I know Luna was and I don't think she has talked that much to Dante, especially since Raiden got hurt.
I have to say that this chapter was a bit confusing. I got totally lost during Dante's fight with Delias Storm. Do you know someone that can help you look over these stories before publishing them? BTW, what episode are you up to?
it was when Luna was in the council room. she cud see Princess Celestia name on the door in the hall of spirit guides. This did not surprise her. You can find this on Chapter 3.Relationship Issues. It seems to me that Princess Celestia is a spirit guide. She may have quit being a spirit guide but I don't thing so. It sown's like Celestia did Luna Job when she was banish to the moon.
Luna's eyes opened as she looked around her very old and dusty office, looking through various objects she spotted one with a familiar glint. Approaching the small pocket watch she opened it revealing the large and small number hands. Just then a photo negative blast of energy happened as Luna disappeared from her small office to a large spacious hall. Continuing through the familiar area she looked up to see four tall podiums and one destroyed and deprecated podium with a destroy but visible banner. "Celestia's CutieMark." Luna said aloud as she touch the soft yet dirty fabric it felt warm to the touch. Looking at the other podiums Luna's attention was towards the others. Each with a different symbol, one with a dragon breathing fire. "Lapis." She said touching the slightly scorched fabric. Walking towards another she touched the torn up and still visible simian upon the second podium. "Caesar." She then approached one that looked like a diamond dog roaring. She smiled and touched the podium the fluffy yet rough texture made her smile. "Daisy." Luna then turned to hers and touched it, it was her CutieMark still cold to the touch as she felt a slight shiver upon its touch. "Luna? You're back." Luna turned to see Daisy, Unlike other diamond dogs she was slim and different from other females she wasn't strong rather she had strong senses. It also didn't mean she was puny she was taller then most ponies but she never hurt others except for demons that hurt the spiritual inhabitants. "Daisy it's been a long time since we spoke." Luna mentioned "Yes I remember the last words you told me before you became Nightmare. 'It's my kingdom and my bitch of a sister gets all the praise so please stay out of my way before I gut you and turn into a carpet.'" Luna sighed as she regretted those words, Daisy has always been there for her no matter the mood she was in, but her jealousy over came her mind as she just wanted the kingdom to praise her instead of her sister. "Daisy, I-I'm sorry those words were out of anger I'm sorry I never meant to hurt you." Luna said with regret in her voice. Daisy looked at the young alicorn much has changed from Luna since they last spoke. No longer was she the young Spirit Walker who was eager for battle. Now she was an experienced mare with age to her life, compassion is one thing Daisy saw within Luna. "Water under the bridge Luna." Luna smiled and hugged Daisy. "Isn't this an adorable sight." Lapis said with a giggle as she entered the council room. Luna smiled and walked over to Lapis giving her a hug, Lapis being a dragoness would've been disgraced of another dragon had seen her compassion towards others her feelings for ponies was always shunned upon dragons. "Luna I'm happy you're back ever since that horrible demon taking you away from us I always wanted you to come back." Lapis informed "Thank you my friend your kind words are always welcomed. How is Caesar?" Luna asked "Being alive for almost a thousand years Caesar has just finally taken control of the Simian Kingdom. I'm sure you'll be talking to him very soon to be allies of course." "Was it by force?" Lapis sighed and nodded "Caesar is a fierce warrior and subjugating the kingdom is what had to be done." Luna simply nodded and looked at the banners. "Still have the woven silks, the older they get the soft and beautiful they get." Lapis let out a soft giggle and nodded. "The Seamstress who created these silks know they're stuff." Luna sighed and looked at Daisy. "So what has happened since I've left." "Well we no longer meet at the castle in Everfree. The darkness has taken over the forest completely rarely anyone has ever entered well aside from a very brave mortal mare who seems to connect with the animals near the forest, and Destiny has grown larger over time with more and more Sheriffs grouping around the town along with a rising star who was trained by none other then the council members though he retired for a short time, but fortunately he has come back to work with council once more." Daisy informed. "And who is this rising star?" Luna asked "Dante Artemis Knight, an intelligent young colt who seems to favor Caesar's teachings rather then mine. Though he is great with younger spirits." Lapis informed. "My nephew?" "Ah yes we forgot he was your sister's adopted son, he does hold the same kind of aura as her." Luna nodded and glanced at Caesar's podium seat and looked at the torn cloth. "Don't worry about your kingdom Caesar isn't ruthless to hurt your kingdom or others you consider allies." Luna simply sighed. "Now let's give you a tour. I'm sure you'd love to see the rest of Destiny." Daisy informed taking Luna's hand.
Great chapter.
Needs editing, but good, nonetheless.
awesome, i'm still kinda on the fence with this story but i like where its going
but i liked its so i have to boop your nose
i492.photobucket.com/albums/rr289/axlthehedgehog_2008/responses/boop.gif
stay classy
Don't git me wrong, I like the premise of this story but I find the story to be confusing and hard to follow. You keep jumping around the story line and you are not giving the needed background for the next part of the story. I can see that you are following the MLP story line but hardly giving details of his life in the living part of Equestria. when he was a baby, he received his pocket watch. We did not see him grow up or when he use the watch for the first time. Why did Celestia not let him know that she is one of the spirit guides?
Dragonfox
5476005 the past chapters cover a small portion of his life and it'll skip from being a baby to a toddler in one more past chapter. Yes I know it's confusing but all you gotta know is that Dante is the main hero meaning there will be demons after him and trying to kill him. Villains in the MLP verse will be present but won't fight Dante as he isn't seen as a threat. Oh and I'll try to put a little sign up on the story to make an episode apparent.
5476005 When did the story say Celestia was a spirit guide? I know Luna was and I don't think she has talked that much to Dante, especially since Raiden got hurt.
I have to say that this chapter was a bit confusing. I got totally lost during Dante's fight with Delias Storm. Do you know someone that can help you look over these stories before publishing them?
BTW, what episode are you up to?
5489938 if you're offering then yes I do need help and the episode I'm up to is Green isn't your color the next chapter that is.
5489911
it was when Luna was in the council room. she cud see Princess Celestia name on the door in the hall of spirit guides. This did not surprise her. You can find this on Chapter 3.Relationship Issues. It seems to me that Princess Celestia is a spirit guide. She may have quit being a spirit guide but I don't thing so. It sown's like Celestia did Luna Job when she was banish to the moon.
Luna's eyes opened as she looked around her very old and dusty office, looking through various objects she spotted one with a familiar glint. Approaching the small pocket watch she opened it revealing the large and small number hands.
Just then a photo negative blast of energy happened as Luna disappeared from her small office to a large spacious hall.
Continuing through the familiar area she looked up to see four tall podiums and one destroyed and deprecated podium with a destroy but visible banner.
"Celestia's CutieMark." Luna said aloud as she touch the soft yet dirty fabric it felt warm to the touch. Looking at the other podiums Luna's attention was towards the others.
Each with a different symbol, one with a dragon breathing fire.
"Lapis." She said touching the slightly scorched fabric.
Walking towards another she touched the torn up and still visible simian upon the second podium.
"Caesar." She then approached one that looked like a diamond dog roaring. She smiled and touched the podium the fluffy yet rough texture made her smile.
"Daisy." Luna then turned to hers and touched it, it was her CutieMark still cold to the touch as she felt a slight shiver upon its touch.
"Luna? You're back." Luna turned to see Daisy, Unlike other diamond dogs she was slim and different from other females she wasn't strong rather she had strong senses. It also didn't mean she was puny she was taller then most ponies but she never hurt others except for demons that hurt the spiritual inhabitants. "Daisy it's been a long time since we spoke." Luna mentioned "Yes I remember the last words you told me before you became Nightmare. 'It's my kingdom and my bitch of a sister gets all the praise so please stay out of my way before I gut you and turn into a carpet.'" Luna sighed as she regretted those words, Daisy has always been there for her no matter the mood she was in, but her jealousy over came her mind as she just wanted the kingdom to praise her instead of her sister.
"Daisy, I-I'm sorry those words were out of anger I'm sorry I never meant to hurt you." Luna said with regret in her voice. Daisy looked at the young alicorn much has changed from Luna since they last spoke. No longer was she the young Spirit Walker who was eager for battle. Now she was an experienced mare with age to her life, compassion is one thing Daisy saw within Luna.
"Water under the bridge Luna." Luna smiled and hugged Daisy. "Isn't this an adorable sight." Lapis said with a giggle as she entered the council room. Luna smiled and walked over to Lapis giving her a hug, Lapis being a dragoness would've been disgraced of another dragon had seen her compassion towards others her feelings for ponies was always shunned upon dragons.
"Luna I'm happy you're back ever since that horrible demon taking you away from us I always wanted you to come back." Lapis informed "Thank you my friend your kind words are always welcomed. How is Caesar?" Luna asked "Being alive for almost a thousand years Caesar has just finally taken control of the Simian Kingdom. I'm sure you'll be talking to him very soon to be allies of course." "Was it by force?" Lapis sighed and nodded "Caesar is a fierce warrior and subjugating the kingdom is what had to be done." Luna simply nodded and looked at the banners. "Still have the woven silks, the older they get the soft and beautiful they get." Lapis let out a soft giggle and nodded. "The Seamstress who created these silks know they're stuff." Luna sighed and looked at Daisy. "So what has happened since I've left." "Well we no longer meet at the castle in Everfree. The darkness has taken over the forest completely rarely anyone has ever entered well aside from a very brave mortal mare who seems to connect with the animals near the forest, and Destiny has grown larger over time with more and more Sheriffs grouping around the town along with a rising star who was trained by none other then the council members though he retired for a short time, but fortunately he has come back to work with council once more." Daisy informed.
"And who is this rising star?" Luna asked
"Dante Artemis Knight, an intelligent young colt who seems to favor Caesar's teachings rather then mine. Though he is great with younger spirits." Lapis informed.
"My nephew?"
"Ah yes we forgot he was your sister's adopted son, he does hold the same kind of aura as her." Luna nodded and glanced at Caesar's podium seat and looked at the torn cloth.
"Don't worry about your kingdom Caesar isn't ruthless to hurt your kingdom or others you consider allies." Luna simply sighed.
"Now let's give you a tour. I'm sure you'd love to see the rest of Destiny." Daisy informed taking Luna's hand.
Dragonfox