You Can't Always Get What You Want

by FireflyDash

Realization

You groaned as you picked yourself up off the couch. With a noticeable slouch in your posture, you began moving slabs of wood into your fire place, grunting at random intervals. Indeed a life time had passed by you, and your aching back was proof that you had gotten too old for this. At the ripe age of 65, most of all you had left were the memories of you and that impossible mare; things that could have been, but never happened. Even as all the years went by, she was always on your mind, like an obsessed child wanting ‘just one more hour of video games.’ You just wanted one more hour with Dash.

After lighting the fire, you dragged (quite literally) your feet back to where you had been sitting. You weren’t as fast as you used to be, so it had taken a while for you to sit down. You never thought you would have made it this far in life, watching yourself wither away day by day, aches and pains randomly shooting all around your body at different intervals. Your heart was as cold as your house and you hoped to warm it up by reliving some of your favorite memories, as the fire did to your house.

You picked up the diary and started shifting through it. In it were all the adventures you kept a record of here in Equestria. One entry in particular caught your eye. It was the day you realized that you were in love with the speedy pegasus. You were depressed and in denial at first, but once you admitted it, you felt as if a huge pressure was lifted off your chest.

---

Another restless night! It’s like as if the universe was out to get you. All you wanted to do was sleep over what Applejack said. Wasn’t sleep necessary to solve problems that the waking mind couldn’t? Whatever. You just wanted to get this day over with, so you could get some much deserved sleep.

You hopped out of bed and went through your morning rituals, still annoyed from the events of last night. You glanced in the mirror and noticed your face was a bit worn, probably from the lack of sleep. You definitely had seen better days.

You winced when the morning sun hit your face. As if you already weren’t annoyed already, you swore that Celestia’s sun was mocking you. You closed the door and grumbled to yourself, much like an old man would. After making sure your house was locked, you made your way to work. Ponies waved at you, but you ignored them. You just didn’t want to deal with this equines today, but fate had a different plans as who other than Rainbow Dash came flying your way.

“Hey Anon, what’s up?” Dash greeted as she landed gracefully in front of you. She was the last pony you wanted to talk to. “Whoa, you don’t look so good,” she observed.

“Thanks, Dash,” you retort sarcastically.

She was compulsive. Even when talking, she couldn’t refrain what was on her mind. Noticing what she had said wasn’t the best of words; she tried her best to fix her mistake. “Uh, well what I meant to say was, you don’t look as cheery as you usually do.”

You waved off her comment. “It’s fine, Dash. I just had an off week.”

“Did you fix that mistake at the post office?” she asked.

“What mistake?”

“Duh, the one you went to go fix last night, remember?”

Oh crap. You had forgotten about that, almost being caught in a lie. “Yeah, I did. Everything’s fine now.”

“You sure?” She was still worried.

“Yes.”

“Well I hope your week gets better. Hate to see a friend down in the dumps,” she admitted.

Before you could even usher in a response, you were caught off guard by another one of Dash’s hugs. A slight gasp emitted from your lips as she squeezed you tight. She was like a power generator or something, because every time she made contact with you, you felt like you could tackle the world.

You returned the hug as you buried your head into one of Dash’s shoulders, taking in her scent, which smelled of petrichor. You exhaled slowly, committing that smell she had to memory. She was about to let go, but you drew her in closer. It was her turn to gasp. She didn’t reject it, which was fine by you. You needed this; her warm embrace to lighten your mood a bit.

You didn’t want to hold her there for too long, lest you fall victim to another social blunder. As you released her, your body reacted slightly, missing the embrace that you two shared. You smiled for the first time this morning as she gave you her cocky grin.

“Thanks, Dash. I actually really needed that.”

“Heh, you are so sappy! But it’s cool. Don’t get used to it. I think I’ve spoiled you enough already for one week,” she responded playfully punching your shoulder.

“Anyways, I have to go or the Ponyville Weather Committee will write me up. One more write-up and I’m suspended for a month without pay.”

“Maybe you should stop sleeping on the job,” you teased, feeling more upbeat.

She gave another playful punch. “Watch it, bud. Don’t think just because you’re bigger than me that I won’t take you down.”

“Is that a challenge?”

You swore that her grin couldn’t get any cockier. She distanced herself from you and gave a wink. “No, it’s a statement.”

With that she took off, leaving a streak of rainbow behind her. “She’s asking for it,” you smiled.

As soon as she left, you once again found yourself alone, as if your mom had had taken you away from all of your friends. Emptiness was the best way you could describe it, but knowing that you actually received two hugs from her already put an extra bounce in your step. Bitter-sweet as they called it.

“Well, I’ll be,” a familiar cowpony’s voice got your attention. What was she doing there? Didn’t she have a farm to run? You turned to her and noticed that you were actually by her apple stand. How convenient. “I think I found my answer,” she confirmed.

Slightly annoyed, you raised an eyebrow at her. “And what business is that of yours?”

“Actually, it is my business considering you’re both my friends,” she chuckled. “Whoo-wee, never thought I’d see the day where Anon actually fell for a pony. You were always against that,” she recalled.

Flustered, you tried to play off her comment. “I’m not falling for anybody! Dash and I are just forming a better friendship.”

“Uh-huh. Is that why you seem so chipper all of a sudden? Why just this morning, you didn’t look so hot and now all of a sudden you have a silly ol’ grin that you’re still sporting.”

“What grin? I’m not grinning! I am very upset because some orange pony by the name of Applejack is stalking me!”

“Whatever you say, partner,” Applejack giggled.

You brought your hand up to your face and touched your lips. She was right. You were grinning like a retard. You could have sworn you were yelling at her, but it probably just looked like you were caught in a lie.

She came around the corner from her apple stand and beckoned you to come down to her level. You crouched, curious what the farm pony wanted to do. “Look, Sugarcube,” she wrapped one of her forelegs around you, “In all this time that you’ve known me, have I ever lied to you?”

“No,” you admitted.

“Now listen to me when I say this, and listen good.” A serious aura replaced her playful demeanor. “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way or anything, and I definitely don’t want you to ruin your day. But there comes a time in your life where you get caught up in something you never expect. Right now, I can see you lying to yourself and it’s hurting you. Instead of just trying to sleep it off, you gotta really think about what’s going on here. I’m not gonna say anything else. Don’t try and argue with me, Sugarcube. Just go to work, do your job and come back home and think. That’s it. Just think.”

She released you and went back to her stand, leaving you confused. You opened your mouth to utter something, but decided against it. Applejack was smart; smarter than her southern accent let on. She may have been all about the farm life, but she was also an Element of Harmony. She knew what it meant to be a friend, what with all of the stories you heard about her.

Defeated, you waved goodbye to her and left to work. You looked at your watch and from the looks of it, you were going to be late.

---

Work had come and gone. Now you were headed back home, but you felt tired. Your shoulders had been drooping so much this past week that you might as well have been The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Dark circles hung below your eyes and your hair was a mess. Did you even comb it today? Noises from the outside world were muffled, causing you to ignore the ponies that attempted to greet you. The lack of sleep from the previous night had caught up to you and all you could think about was your comfy bed.

You miraculously reached your house without passing out. All you remember was carelessly tossing yourself onto your bed, not even bothering to take off your clothes. You waited for sleep to take hold of you, so you could finally have that rest you needed.

Unfortunately, it never came. You yawned and tried different positions to get comfortable, but the traditional way of lying down didn’t appear to work. You were getting a bit restless and tried other ways of going to bed. Counting sheep, drinking a glass of warm milk, reading a book, lying on the floor, and even taking a hot shower didn’t help.

You groaned, rubbing your eyes. Why couldn’t you fall asleep? If you were about to pass out in the street, why couldn’t you do it in the comfort of your own bed? You thought about what Applejack had said. Instead of trying to sleep it off, you really gotta really think about what’s going on here.

“Screw you Applejack. I know what I want,” you declared.

---

Three days had passed since you made your declaration and things only got worse. You actually called in to work (technically wrote a letter, as phones weren’t a commodity in Equestria) because you just couldn’t get yourself on track. You accrued some personal days there anyways, so it wasn’t like you left them hanging.

A thick beard began to manifest around your once clean-shaven face and your hair looked as greasy as ever. You didn’t even bother to do laundry or clean your apartment. Random plates and paper bags were scattered across your living room floor. Unwashed pans piled high on your stove, and your usually clean tile floor was covered in dirt and grease. You slumped motionless on your couch, not having done a single productive thing since taking off from work. A sigh escaped your lips. All you could think about was her.

A knock came from your door. At first, you didn’t want to answer it as you weren’t interested to socialize with anyone. A prolonged and louder knock came again. You definitely weren’t in the mood. “Nobody’s home!” you yelled, anger dripping from your teeth.

“C’mon, dude. I know you’re there,” came a muffled familiar tomboyish voice. Huh? What was she doing here? Speak of the devil. The comfort of your couch refused to release you to greet her at the door. You sat there for a moment, deciding if it would really be worth talking to her. “Hello, you know it’s not cool to ignore your friends like this.”

“Yeah, yeah give me a second,” you responded.

Finally, with enough willpower, you slowly rose from your couch. You made your way to the door and opened it. The first thing you were met with was a gasp.

“Yes Rainbow can I help you?”

“Whoa, you don’t look so good, dude. Is everything alright?”

“Peachy,” you responded, sarcasm dripping from your voice. “Why?”

“Ugh, dude! Not cool! When was the last time you brushed your teeth,” she winced, covering her nose with her hoof in disgust. You covered your mouth, feeling embarrassed.

“Sorry,” you apologized. “What’s up?” you asked quickly, hoping not to bring more discomfort to Rainbow.

“No one has seen you around town for the past few days. I just dropped by to see if everything was okay,” she answered, with obvious worry in her voice. She removed her hoof from her face.

“Everything is fine; I’m just taking a few days to myself sort things out is all.”

“You need any help? You don’t have to do it alone. That’s what friends are for,” she offered.

“Thank you Rainbow, but I think this is something I have to do on my own you know?” If your breath smelled like a sewer, just imagined what your house smelled like.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

She hovered for a couple of moments, rubbing the back of her head avoiding eye contact with you. You coughed, staring awkwardly at her as if she was taking valuable time away from you.

“So…”

“Yeah…” Why was she still there? “I think I’ll be going now.” She hesitated for a bit, waiting as if she wanted you to invite her in to your house. Like hell if you were going to let her in. It was messy in there. “I’ll catch you on the flip side,” she said, slowly hovering away from you.

“Take care, Rainbow,” you waved feeling slightly guilty for being short with her. “We should hang out sometime,” you offered, hoping it would help.

“Sounds cool. Just let me know when,” she uttered, unsure if leaving your side was the right decision. “If I don’t see you for the rest of the week, I’m dragging you out myself, got it?” she half threatened, half joked around.

For the first time in days, you cracked a smile. “Got it,” you returned, closing the door.

The feeling of loneliness crept through your emotions, but this time you were expecting it. You noticed that every time Rainbow left your side, you felt it. Your smile quickly dropped. It was like a poison that ran through your veins, dampening what confidence was left within you.

You flopped back down on your couch and sighed. You thought back to Pinkie and her antics. She completely froze when you said you were meeting with Rainbow and her coltfriend and didn’t know what you were expecting. You just chalked it up to Pinkie just being Pinkie, but now that you had the time to think, did she notice something that you didn’t? What if she thought that you were interested in Dash, like Applejack thought?

You waved it off; now you were just making assumptions. But then it got you to start thinking: Did you really fall in love with Rainbow Dash? She did have a unique mane. The way her colors intertwined with each other made her stand out as arguably the most colorful pony in all of Equestria. Her cerise eyes added intensity to match her brash attitude. Just staring into her eyes made you shiver in ecstasy.

Oh god, what were you thinking? She’s was a pony! But yet, the more you thought about it, the more you started to lose what was left of your humanity. You started thinking of her lean muscle mass. She needed it for her tricks and amazing ability to fly fast, but she worked those muscles out to perfection. You had seen other pegasi like Cloudchaser and they too shared that similar trait, but Dash was something else. You recalled how soft, yet firm her hugs were.

Then you thought of her scratchy voice. It was rough compared to any other female pony’s voice, but it never bothered you. If you had the chance, you could probably listen to her brag all day.

That brought you to her personality. Other ponies didn’t like her ego, but you enjoyed it. It was part of who she was. She was also adventurous, which always brought excitement to your life (because let’s face it, all you did here your entire life was work to survive). One trait that you shared with her was always looking forward to a challenge. You liked her competitive attitude, even if it did cause some public embarassment.

A smile crept up on your face as you thought more and more about her. You caught yourself smiling this time, which surprised you. “Am I really in love?” you asked. It was stupid to think about it, how a kiss brought all this turmoil into your life. It’s not like you ogled her since you first met her, right?

---

“…And this is Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said as she pointed to her.

“Nice to meet ya,” Rainbow grinned. “You’ll come to know me as the best pony you’ll ever meet.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Don’t listen to her,” she warned.

“Oh really now? So tell me, Dash,” you countered. “What makes you the best pony?”

“Here we go,” Twilight muttered.

“Aside from my awesome mane and looks, I am the fastest flier in all of Equestria. When I’m in the air, I’m unstoppable! Nothing can take me on when I start doing my aerial stunts!”

“Oh really? Mind if I watch you one day. I need to see this for myself,” you gave a toothy grin.

“Stop enabling her!” Twilight yelled.

You ignored Twilight as you caught a glimpse of Rainbow’s flank. Whoops, you didn’t mean to look there. “Like what you see,” Rainbow teased.

“I was just curious about your tattoo on your leg.”

“You mean my cutie mark?”

---

It hit you like a ton of bricks. You were ogling her this entire time! Anon, you sick dog! Oh god, you couldn’t believe you fell for a pony at first sight. How did you manage not to notice all this time? Were you seriously this much in denial?

You walked to your room and lay in your bed, your body as still as a rock soaking in everything you had just thought about. You exhaled, forming a small smile on your face. “I do love her.”

Author's Note:

Well chapter three is out and I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who is following the story. It makes my day when I see that little notification. I'll try and get chapter 4 up ASAP. Take care and have a good week.

Comments

[TLP]

Love the story dude! I now request two things from you..

1. Do not cancel this story regardless of the life/dislike ratio.

2. Make it last.

Semper Fi, Anon. Semper Fi.

[FireflyDash]

5176029
Thank you for your support. The Like/Dislike bar hasn't bothered me in the least. Other than the obvious HiE/AiE premise, I can understand why people would dislike it. Can't please everyone.

5171085
Anon trying to overcome his jealously of Soarin is only one of his many problems. Trust me, he's not going to be kicking back any time soon.

5171383
I look forward to entertaining you some more.