A story of Unrequited love between a human (you) and Rainbow Dash.
Anonymous has had decent life. Everything he ever did was filled with optimism and confidence, never turning down a challenge or something new. Even getting tossed into a world of colorful ponies didn't stop him as he took everything in stride. But nobody is perfect and even he has his limits.
Follow Anon as he tries to overcome the power of unrequited love, because in the end, not everyone can get what they want, no matter how badly they want it.
You weren’t always like this, hoping that by some miracle she would even hint in your direction. You used to be that guy who went with the flow and took things in stride, never forcing anything to go your way. If you ever did want something, you’d put some effort into it and it usually paid off in the end. Now here you were at an impasse, flowing against the current instead of with it. There was something you wanted, or rather somepony. Her name was Rainbow Dash, self-proclaimed fastest flier in all of Equestria. You never expected it to happen, but sometimes life throws things that you would never expect. Perhaps it would make more sense if you started from the beginning.
It was another bright and sunny day in Ponyville. You had the day off from your day job, giving you a full day to yourself. You hummed a simple tune as you walked around deciding what to do with myself, waving at everypony who passed by. Being the only human in Equestria, it wasn’t hard to bring attention to yourself what with your long arms and dangling fingers. It was awkward in the beginning, similar to what happened with Zecora when she first walked into this crazy town. The Mane Six were more than ready to accept you, since they already learned that lesson with her. The rest of the inhabitants took a while longer to warm up, as they weren’t directly involved.
You walked into the library where you greeted Twilight Sparkle. It was a public library, so you could have barged whenever you wanted to, so long as they fell within the business hours (which were considerably short as Twilight only worked it as a part time job).
“Hey Twi, have anything planned for today?” you asked, shutting the door in stride.
“Anon! It’s been a while,” Twilight ran up to greet you. She wrapped her front hooves around your waist, giving a tight hug. She was considerably smaller than you, only reaching your waist on her hind legs, like she was doing now. It was awkward at first, but it became such a daily occurrence that it didn’t bother you as much. These ponies were certainly touchier than your human counterparts, though. “After taking care of the library, the girls and I are participating in a fundraiser for the orphanage. You should come!”
“Sounds interesting. When is it at?” you asked, grinning that you only sported when talking to your friends.
“Two o’ clock at the park. Make sure you brush your teeth before coming,” she winked.
You looked at your Daring Do watch, which read ten past noon. That was convenient, as you planned on eating after visiting Twilight. “Wait, why do I have to brush my teeth?” It just dawned on you what she said. Why would she give such an odd request?
“Well, for the fundraiser, we’re giving everypony who donates a kiss, or a hug. So bathing might be optimal as well. One bit for a hug and two bits for a kiss,” she says without losing stride in her voice.
“What? Ew! Twilight, that’s unsanitary!”
“What do you mean, Anon?” She was clearly confused.
“Don’t some ponies have diseases? What if somepony is sick and decides to swap saliva with you?”
“What? I never heard of that. Is that something that was common in your world?” she asked, obviously curious. You swore that this world was too innocent at times, never worried about disease or famine. It was optimistic, happy, and full of warmth—almost like you. Yet, there was a naughty undertone to this world as well. Let’s just say that love and friendship was a huge part in the success of Equestria, and with love came the good times behind closed doors. It was confusing for you to even think about it.
“Yes. There’s a host of bacteria in your mouth. The common cold isn’t what I’m worried about. What about sexually transmitted diseases? Granted I don’t have any of those,” admitting, hoping Twilight wouldn’t become suspicious of whatever potential diseases you may have had. Which was NONE, as you thoroughly stated.
She seemed thoughtful for a moment, raising her hoof to her chin. “Interesting. I’ve never heard of a case like that before. I’ll have to do some research on it later when I have time.”
Oh boy, what did you just do? Soon she’ll be known as a classic OCD patient, constantly brushing her teeth. Maybe telling her about this wasn’t such a good idea. Oh well, sanitation wasn’t the only problem you were worried about.
“I’m not too keen on kissing a pony, but I can manage a hug," you admitted.
“Come on, Anon. I understand your adversity in forming intimate relationships with the inhabitants, but it’s for a good cause. You should at least try it. I’m not saying you should commit to whomever you kiss, but it could be a whole new experience for you. You’ve been avoiding this subject for a while and it’s unlike you to try new things.”
“How aren’t you ponies disgusted at the thought of kissing something else that isn’t your species? Our culture frowns upon things like that,” you countered.
“Like I said before, Anon, interspecies relationships aren’t uncommon. Nopony is going to ostracize you for it. It’s worth a shot.” You understood that she was trying to help you, but this subject was taboo by human standards. Perhaps she was right. These ponies weren’t like the ones on Earth. They could speak and had vibrant personalities, much like humans did. Maybe it was the whole anatomy aspect that scared you a bit. Even then, these ponies were civilized to the point where they had treatment for sewage.
You remained silent for a moment. There really weren’t any downsides to it other than a potential zoonotic infection. “I’ll think about it.”
“That’s the spirit!” Twilight smiled.
As if on cue, your stomach began to growl. Funny how these small coincidences happened here in Equestria.
“Well, I’d better go if I want to make it on time to the fundraiser. I’ll see you later, Twilight.”
“Bye, Anon! Don’t forget to brush your teeth!” she reminded.
After eating, you headed home to brush your teeth. You lived in the midst of the town, in an apartment near Town Hall, so you weren’t squeezed on time or anything. After taking a nice shower and making sure that your teeth were squeaky clean, you started for the fundraiser.
You thought about earlier on what Twilight said about interspecies relationships. You weren’t against it or anything. Ponies could do whatever they wanted behind closed doors and it wouldn’t have affected you. It was just the thought of you doing such an act to a pony. Sure these weren’t your run-of-the-mill ponies you had back on Earth, but your cultural conditioning still conflicted with the culture these ponies set up. You remembered the first time when a pony started flirting with you. Minuette was her name. She had a mane that reminded you of a certain toothpaste brand back on Earth. You were clueless at first, but Pinkie Pie made it obvious that she wasn’t just trying to be friendly. You, of course, let her off easy, but it was one of those things you quite didn’t understand until Fluttershy and Twilight told you. It was probably one of the weirdest things you experienced that was—like Twilight said—not uncommon.
As you approached the park, you could see various ponies in the distance setting up booths. As you came closer you saw how it was organized. There were six tables, each with a red blanket draped over them. They were laid out across the grass adjacent to one another, each with its own vendor. There was a sign next to each of the tables that showed how much a hug and a kiss was worth. Other ponies began to crowd the area, most of which were Stallions and younger teenaged colts. You spotted Twilight operating a vendor and decided to make your presence known.
“Hey! You made it!” she greeted.
“Hi,” you said, feeling slightly uncomfortable. You scratched the back of my head, avoiding eye contact with Twilight.
“We’re about to get started, so go on ahead and choose which pony you want to hug or kiss.”
“Okay,” you turned away from Twilight.
“Oh, and Anon!”
You turned towards her once again.
“I did a little research about those diseases you were talking about and apparently the magic fallout around Equestria prevents any deadly diseases from coming in contact with other living creatures.”
“Um, good to know. I guess.” You were short with her.
You walked away from her booth. It was awkward enough that she wanted you to participate in a kissing fundraiser, let alone choosing her as someone to kiss.
You coughed slightly and looked around to see who the vendors were, other than Twilight of course.
There was Fluttershy, and boy did she look nervous, maybe even more than you. She was out of the picture. On the other end of the spectrum, there was Pinkie Pie who wasn’t shy at all, giving hugs and kisses to ponies left and right for free. She was out of the picture. There was Rarity, who seemed a bit formal about the whole ordeal, commanding the pony on how to kiss a lady properly. No thank you. Then there was Rainbow Dash, bragging to the whole crowd how awesome it would be to kiss the fastest flier in Equestria. Maybe, if you could get over her ego. Finally there was Applejack, who was in the middle of the rest of the ponies. If you could visualize a number line with Fluttershy at one end and Pinkie on another, Applejack would be right there in the middle.
Initially, Applejack seemed like the best choice as she was the most understanding of your situation of interspecies relationships, but you couldn’t help but think that your first kiss in Equestria should be a bit more spicy. Rainbow Dash it is.
BUT, you really didn’t have to go through with this. It was a charity and charities ran around the concept of doing it because you wanted to, but that was the problem. You wanted to help donate to the cause, but you could do without the reward.
“Hey Twilight!” you said, returning to her booth.
“Hey, Anon! What can I help you with?” she asked, with a slight suggestive undertone.
“I was wondering if I could just donate and not receive my reward,” you asked.
Twilight frowned. “Sorry, but the Official Equestrian Rule Book on Charity states that you must receive your award upon payment.”
“Why?” Couldn’t they have just taken your money and be on your way?
“Well, for legal protection. A pony participated in a charity fifty years ago, not wanting a reward. Three months later, he came out saying that the charity refused to give him a reward, thus rising what was at the time, ‘The Biggest Charity Scandal.’”
Well, there went your trump card.
“Come on, Anon,” Twilight assured you. “It’s for a good cause. All it calls for is a simple kiss. You don’t even have to if you don’t want to. You can just give two hugs and be done with it.”
“Okay, I guess that works,” you nodded your head in agreement.
You were just about to walk away when Twilight stopped you again. “Oh and Anonymous?” You craned your head back to her. “Sorry if it seemed like I was forcing you. I just wanted you to try something new. Hope you aren’t mad.”
You turn away from her and casually waved it off, understanding.
Creeping up to Rainbow Dash’s booth, you gave a sheepish smile and waved. “Hi.”
“Hey cowpony, think you can handle this mare?” Her scratchy tomboyish voice sent a chill through your spine. She was way too confident. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe Applejack will calm it down a notch.
“Uh…”
“Hey, relax. I’m only teasing.” God, she can be so…Rainbow sometimes. You had forgotten how she could be. You never spent a lot of time with her, only on the rare occasion when she was with her friends. “So Anon, what’s it going to be?”
You stood there for a moment as time froze all around you. This was it. Your decision. It wasn’t hard considering what Twilight told you, but you still couldn’t get this species boundary out of the way. You avoided her gaze, not wanting her to see how nervous you were. You couldn’t have felt more like Fluttershy if you tried.
“A hug,” you said, tossing a bit onto the table.
“Heh, no problem.” She flew up to you and wrapped her forelegs around you. Even her hugs were filled with confidence. You couldn’t help but feel a bit relieved as a sigh of contentment escaped your throat. You returned the hug. It lasted for only a moment as you felt her retract from you. “I’m not much for the mushy stuff,” she says, “but even I know a good hug can calm down a manticore. Trust me, I’ve seen Fluttershy do it.”
You felt more confident after that. Still a bit shaky, but she knew how to hug, even though she was a bit tomboyish. In fact…
“Hey Rainbow, how ‘bout a kiss?” you asked.
“Feeling confident are we? We’ll see about that. I think you’ll just chicken out.”
Was she challenging you? Oh, did she just challenge you? She had no idea what you had in store. You liked a good challenge and you know what? Pony or not, this pegasus was about to get the kiss of her life! It had been a while since you have actually kissed, though, so here was hoping to whatever deity these ponies believed in that you could satisfy her.
You dropped your two bits on the table and added an extra one for insurance. Confused by your actions, you smacked your lips together and brought her head to yours.
Upon impact, it was sloppy due to her surprise and your lack of familiarity with a pony’s anatomy, but you didn’t stop there. The initial surprised yelp immediately gave you entrance to her moist mouth. Her cries of disgust are drowned as you violently fought with her tongue, dominating every corner of her mouth, while still trying to massage her lips with yours. She began to stop struggling as you stroked the back of her mane with the hand you held her head with, occasionally making swirl patterns with your fingers. You dared not to open your eyes even though you felt her tongue beginning to fight you rhythmically with hers. Your cheeks heated up as she began pushing towards you, giving into the kiss. It felt like forever, as your lungs burned from the lack of oxygen. Finally, you broke the kiss, inhaling as much air as you could muster and breathed a sigh of contentment.
You locked eyes with her for a moment, feeling something in the pit of your stomach that you haven’t felt in a long while. A cerise color formed on her cheeks as the heat of her blush intertwined with the light blue of her coat, nearly matching her eyes. She was panting lightly as you slowly withdrew your hand from the back of her head. Something about kissing this pony felt…right.
You were in heaven, until a noise made its way to your ears. Snapping out of your stupor you broke contact with Rainbow and noticed how everyone was staring at you two. Your sudden awareness brought Rainbow out to the real world as well. A few Stallion pegasi had their wings fully erect at the sight they just witnessed. This couldn’t have gotten any more awkward.
“Um…well thanks for the kiss Dash. I’m sure it was for a great cause!” you said, trying to not act suspicious at all. You tossed two extra bits on the table for damage control between you and her.
“Heh, sure thing. Glad to see you have a generous heart. Your contribution is greatly appreciated,” she followed.
Now was a great time to get the heck out of dodge as you took your leave back to your house, watching more and more stallions lining up to Rainbow Dash.
Your head was racing a mile a second as you threw yourself on your bed. What in the world did you just do? You rubbed your eyes, hoping to find some relief from the embarrassment that you felt. Not only did you kiss Dash, you did it quite intimately.
“Ugh, why did I do that?” you asked yourself. “A simple kiss and that would have been the end of it! But no, I just had to make a fool of myself!”
You never expressed your feelings through monologue, unless you were trying to work out a difficult problem.
“It was Dash’s fault! If it wasn’t for her overconfidence, I wouldn’t have done such a thing! I should have gone to Applejack!” Pinning the blame on Dash was a bit out there. Yeah, she did give that hug that just made you feel unstoppable, but it wasn’t her fault that she was the one there. She was just caught in the crossfire between you and your problems.
“It’s not that I liked it or anything,” you mumbled, unsure of your feelings. “Maybe I just need some rest. Can’t think like this with all this stress.”
You hopped out of bed, and stripped to your boxers. You didn’t like sleeping with your clothes on. It just felt too restrictive to keep them on, especially when you occasionally tossed and turned in bed.
You jumped back in bed and laid there for a while, but sleep didn’t come easy as today’s actions were still fresh on your mind. Eventually, with enough effort, sleep took hold of you and you drifted off into some troubled dreams.
For the next week, you avoided Rainbow Dash and any other type of social interaction like the plague, only going out when you needed to work, shop, or pay bills. For the most part, many of the ponies who saw you at the fundraiser went about their week, never batting an eye in your direction (which was a blessing for you, because it was quite embarrassing). Avoiding Rainbow was more difficult in that she was the master of the sky. She noticed everything and had a bird’s eye view. Every morning you took the precaution to check all of your windows to make sure she wasn’t in sight. She nearly caught you one time as you were making your way to work as you neglected to notice that she was on the ground, casually talking to other pegasi. You couldn’t help but notice that every time that you saw her you felt that same feeling in the pit of your stomach from when you first kissed her. It wasn’t because you were nervous or scared that she would spot you, because you were already on edge. Whatever it was made you feel giddy for some reason, like you were looking forward to talk to her.
Here you were in the present, reading a textbook on magic that you borrowed from Twilight a week before your social mishap took place. You always wondered how magic worked in this world, as it seemed to have defied physics for the most part. More particularly, you were interested in this “magic fallout” Twilight talked about.
Apparently, magic was everywhere like air was. Every time a unicorn used magic, a pegasus flapped their wings, or an earth pony tended to preparing food, magic was released into the air, producing “magic fallout.” On a microscopic scale, it was hazardous. You hoped that you wouldn’t develop cancer from this, but a little further into your reading put you at ease. There were two types of magic: Hostile and non-hostile. Most of the magic used in Equestria was non-hostile, meaning that the ponies were blanketed with magic that protected them. Hostile magic was rare, seen only by Nightmare Moon. Huh, the more you know?
Your thoughts couldn’t focus on your book for long as it drifted back towards Rainbow Dash. It started with a question: if Rainbow Dash has powerful wings, will her magic runoff be greater than other pegasi? Then it delved into you and her hanging out at a picnic, talking about life. Then you thought of that kiss. The way her flat tongue tried to battle yours as she pushed to try and access your mouth unconsciously made you smile.
Your thoughts were interrupted as a knock came to your door. You shook yourself free from your thoughts and began to wonder who it could be that was knocking on your door. You didn’t get much company, aside from the unusual visits from Pinkie Pie. You casually sauntered towards the door and opened it.
“Oh hey, there you are!” Your mouth hung open as Dash greeted you. Those feelings of butterflies in your stomach began to surface. Like it or not, you were happy to see her. “I’ve been looking for you all over, but once Pinkie told me where you live, I thought I’d drop by.”
Curse that pink mare. You’ll have to have a chat with her next time you see her.
“Um…hi,” you started off awkwardly. Gosh, why was it so hard to talk? “About last week, sorry I did that. I wasn’t intending to do that.”
“Hey, I understand. Even our local human resident wants a piece of the Dash,” she bragged, much to your amusement.
You lightened up a bit more. “Well, let’s get one thing straight. I’m not interested in ponies. You challenged me and I took the challenge,” you grinned.
She snickered entering your house like it was her own, much to your surprise. Yet, you didn’t mind it. “Well, I’m glad to hear that,” she said taking a seat on one of your couches. “I thought we’d have an awkward talk about what happened, but you seem pretty cool about it.”
“What about?” you asked curiously.
“Well, let’s just say my coltfriend wasn’t too happy when the word reached him,” she admitted.
So she was taken? Huh, never thought you’d ever see Dash committed, even though she was the element of loyalty. “Ha, I’ll have to apologize to him once he cools down. I didn’t mean to shake up your relationship or anything. I wasn’t even aware you had a boyfriend,” you smiled coyly.
Hmmm…why do you feel sad all of a sudden?
Another chuckle escaped Dash. “Yeah, you better let me talk to him first so he knows what’s up.”
“Well, I don’t mean to be a prude or anything, but didn’t you return the kiss?”
“Yeah, yeah. It wasn’t like I wanted to or anything. There was that whole, ‘you have to kiss once payment is received’ spiel. You dropped a few more bits than necessary, so I just took it in stride. Besides, I know who I’m loyal to,” she smirked. “It was for charity after all,” she giggled. “But once you left, I had gotten a huge line all thanks to you. Saved nearly 500 bits alone that day.”
Gosh she was so cocky! But it didn’t bother you as much as you thought it would. Rather, the whole coltfriend irked you for some reason, but you couldn’t put your finger on it.
“Anyways, I better go. Gotta clear up some air around Soarin’ before he has a fit. Thanks for being understanding,” she said as she flew towards the still open door. “We should totally hang out more.”
Before you could usher in a word, she was gone. A sinking feeling came from within, like you were alone. It worried you as you never felt such a feeling before. You looked towards the sky, hoping that Dash would return, but it never came. You closed the door and picked up your book, hoping that by some miracle, time would pass by faster in order to see her again.
You could remember the first time you met Soarin. He was slightly taller than Rainbow Dash, more muscular and a bit of a potato head. Well that’s just how you perceived him. You hated to admit it at first, but you were really jealous of the guy. Here he was a Wonderbolt, something Dash had always idolized, and he had everything going his way. You sighed taking a sip of that special tea Zecora made as you reminisced the first time you met him.
You had just gotten off of work from your day job at the local Ponyville post office. You never knew why humans back on your world were so grumpy when they worked; it wasn’t that bad of a job.
As you walked home, you noticed that you gained a bit of fat around your belly, not over-exaggeratingly so, but just enough for you to be on par with the other ponies. Skinny fat, as you liked to call it. As much as you’d love nothing more than having a six pack, it wasn’t going to happen with the current job you were having. None of the other jobs that were available around Ponyville interested you that much. You hated the manual labor of Applejack’s farm as well as the customer service opening at Sugarcube corner. You could have probably performed the latter well since you had extensive customer service back on Earth, but it didn’t appeal to you. You couldn’t fly or stand on clouds, so taking a position on the weather team was out of the picture. The library assistant opening that Twilight offered had hours that were too short. You did need to survive in this world and five bits per hour for four hours just didn’t cut it. Designing clothes with Rarity wasn’t your forte when it came to creativeness. Plus you would have only been paid for a commission, leaving you with a varied paycheck. Fluttershy wanted you to assist her with the animals, but the pay was way too low. It’s not that you wouldn’t have taken these jobs, it’s just you wanted to do something in this new world that you enjoyed. While the post office was far from the perfect job, you enjoyed it nonetheless.
Just as you were about to reach the front door to your house, Rainbow came flying down, landing gracefully in front of you blocking your path to enter your door. “Hey Anon, what’s up?” she asked as confident as ever.
“Oh nothing, just going to go and relax for a bit. Can I help you with anything?” you asked half-annoyed, half excited. You couldn’t help it. For all of the little things she did that annoyed you, it still made you happy. It was like if she had you under some sort of spell.
“Oh yeah! I was just going to ask if you wanted to spend some time later on.”
“Sure, why not? I’ve got nothing planned for today.” Your annoyance was gone, replaced with that building inner excitement. You still had no idea why you were like that around her.
“Sweet! Can my coltfriend tag along? I had a talk with him about what happened, and he said he forgives you and he wants to meet you.”
“Uhhh….” That last part deflated your mood a bit, but not enough for Rainbow to detect it. It’s not that you didn’t want to go, it was just that you weren’t too sure about her coltfriend being there. What was his name? Sore eye? Snorey?
“I know it sounds weird, but he said that he didn’t want any animosity between my friends. He knows how important they are to me. So what do you say?”
You brought your hand to your chin and stared at the ground, deep in thought. Why is this bugging you so much? Normally on any day, you’d have said yes without a second thought. Ever since that charity two weeks ago, you were having problems on what you wanted to do. You had to rectify this.
“Sure, why not?” you said, trying to act enthusiastic. “I’m sure the dust will clear for good once I meet him.”
“Yes!” Rainbow did a flip and gave you a hug, and that hug was the one thing that made you feel more confident. You returned it, taking in all the good and getting rid of the bad. Once she broke off the hug, you felt renewed.
“DON’T think that I’m mushy or anything,” she warned. “You’re a friend and any friend deserves the approved Hug of THE Rainbow Dash.”
You chuckled at her antics. “Got it, when should I meet up with you?”
“How does seven o’ clock sound? We’re having a picnic below by my cloud house. You know where that is?”
How could you not? It was unmistakable from a distance, with its fancy grooves and its defined rainbows that nopony could mistake for the house that held Dash. It also helped that her house was unmovable. Crazy ponies and their magic. “Sure do,” you smiled.
“Awesome! See you tonight!” And with that she was off. She came and went whenever she wanted, but it didn’t bother you. With this new found confidence, you walked in your house with your shoulders and head held high.
This was actually the first time you were going to hang out with Rainbow with somepony other than her friends, so it was best to make a good and lasting impression. You stripped down from your work clothes and tossed them into your laundry basket, which you placed conveniently outside your room. You grabbed a towel from your closet and headed toward the bathroom.
Even though you didn’t actually sweat, you were self-conscious of your hygiene. You tried to avoid bathing twice a day as it was wasteful of you to do so, but sometimes you just had to get rid of the perceived feeling of being dirty. Brushing your teeth was even worse. At some points, it had taken you at least five minutes before feeling satisfied that they were clean. It was another reason why you were so hesitant on kissing a pony. You didn’t want to be known as the “Bad Breath Human.” That was your paranoia speaking.
After bathing and brushing your teeth, you put on your classic black suit and red tie that Rarity made you. A final touch of some of Big Mac’s cologne and you were ready to go. Before heading out, you made some last minute checks. Zipper zipped? Check. Boogers free from your orifice? Check. Excess shaving cream removed? Check.
Just as you were about to head out, you looked at the time and realized it was only half past five. “Oh, well I guess I have some time to kill,” you chuckled as you sat down on your sofa. With nothing to do but twiddle your thumbs, you picked up the Magic textbook you had fallen behind on. “Guess it wouldn’t hurt to read a bit before going.”
Picking up on where you left off, you read that Equestria was filled with non-hostile magic fallout, which meant no harm came to you. However, that didn’t mean hostile magic fallout didn’t exist. As you kept reading, you found out that certain properties of hostile magic could lead to beneficial mutations within certain ponies that came into contact with it, though it was rare. Most mutations from hostile magic usually led to cancer and though you couldn’t magically take away the effects of cancer, there have been some experimental procedures that non-hostile magic could reduce tumors. Huh. The more you know.
You read your textbook for a bit longer before it was time for you to go. As you walked out the door, you noticed your breath wasn’t as minty as it once was, but you didn’t let that bother you. You were just excited to see Rainbow Dash.
On your way there, you noticed that the sun was beginning to set. Quite a bit late for a picnic, but the cool air that touched your skin reminded you that it was probably best to go now.
“Hi, Anon! Where are we going?”
You turned your head over to the side to see who was speaking with you.
“AHH!!” you shouted in surprise. The culprit, Pinkie Pie giggled. “How’d you get there?”
“Oh I was just wandering around when I saw you looking like you were going to get some cupcakes. I know that when I smile like that, it means I’m going to get some cupcakes!”
“That’s…good to know.” You chuckled a bit, remembering that Pinkie had a knack for being random. “I was just actually headed towards Rainbow Dash’s house. She’s having a picnic with her…coltfrend.”
“Ooooh,” Pinkie chimed. “Are they going to have cupcakes there?”
“I don’t know, actually. Rainbow invited me not too long ago, so I’m not sure what exactly it is I’m expecting.”
Pinkie just stopped walking with you after you said that. Confused, you stopped too and raised your brow. She just sat there frozen like a statue in the middle of the street, pupils as small as pinpricks, like as if she just realized something. “You okay, Pinks?” you asked, not entirely sure if you should be worried. Then again it was Pinkie Pie, probably her just being herself. “Well, I’ll see you later, I guess?” you half asked-half stated as you continued walking.
Walking out to the suburbs, you could clearly see Dash’s house close by, which meant you weren’t much further. The sun was setting, reflecting perfectly off your eyes, giving it a saturated color. You noticed two ponies on the ground, rolling around laughing and giggling. As you came closer, you realized that it was none other than Rainbow Dash and Sore Eye. They stopped as soon as they saw you, their chuckles dying down.
There it was again! That uncomfortable feeling.
“Hey Anon!” Rainbow greeted as you approached them. “Glad you made it. This is my coltfriend, Soarin!” she said without a beat, grinning at you like if he was her most prized possession. So that was his name!
“It’s finally nice to meet you! Heard you had a scuffle with my mare over here a couple weeks ago,” was his introduction. He didn’t sound the least bit upset, which was good for you. You didn’t come here to have an altercation with him, right?
“Heh, yeah sorry about that. I just don’t know what went wrong there. I’m not even interested in ponies,” you admitted.
“Nah, it’s cool. She is an amazing mare. I’d be insulted if you didn’t kiss her like that.”
Rainbow hit Soarin’s shoulder, obviously embarrassed at his statement, but still beamed at him for the compliment.
“Heh,” you scratched the back of your head, feeling a bit awkward being around them. “So, what do you guys have to eat?” you asked changing the subject. “I probably should have brought something, at least some cupcakes.” Your thoughts drifted back to Pinkie Pie. What was her deal?
“Nah, it’s cool. Soarin made some delicious veggie sandwiches.”
“Must…be nice?” You honestly had no idea what to say; although, you could start to feel that uncomfortable pressure creeping up toward your chest again.
“Yeah, poor Dash here was ordering take out every night until I came along,” Soarin chimed in.
Another playful punch came from Rainbow Dash, only this time Soarin returned one of his own. Before you knew it, they were toppling on one another giggling and laughing as they had before when you were walking up to them. You silently grabbed one of the veggie sandwiches and took a bite out of it, feeling a bit more annoyed than usual (though you did your best not to show it).
After they had their little play fight, their chuckles died down once more and began to join you in eating. You were uninterested, averting your gaze towards them and looking at the already disappearing sun, giving off a beautiful purple and orange mix in the sky.
“So what do you do?” Soarin asked.
A wry smile was plastered on your face. The longer you sat there with them, the more resentment you had towards Soarin and what had bugged you even more was the fact that they got along so well. They certainly weren’t afraid of public displays of affection, which slightly surprised you as Dash wasn’t the type to do such things.
You sighed, feeling a bit defeated, like someone came over and handed your ass on a silver platter. You didn’t feel it, but your shoulders were slumped just as they were before Dash had given you that hug, which all but seemed like a distant memory. Whatever, it’s not like you liked Rainbow Dash anyways.
“Hello, earth to Anon!”
“Huh, what?” you snapped out of your stupor and hesitantly looked toward the young couple.
“Soarin asked what you did for a living,” Dash reiterated with a hint of concern in her voice.
“Oh! Well I work for the Ponyville post office. It’s nothing like being a Wonderbolt, but I enjoy it nonetheless.”
“That’s cool,” Soarin smiled.
God, what a cocky smirk. You swear you could feel your hand forming a fist. You swiftly took a bite of your sandwich, an angry bite out of it.
“You alright, Anon?” Dash was becoming worried by your odd behavior. You were known as the happy-go-lucky Anon and here you were, being short and ignoring them for the most part.
“Yeah, I’m just hungry,” you said dryly.
You played it off quite well as Rainbow seemed to relax a bit more, but for some reason, you just had to get out of here, before anything else happened.
“But, listen, I kind of have to cut this short. I sort of remembered that there was an error made by one of the staff members. I should go sort it out before the package is shipped tomorrow.”
Rainbow pouts a bit, but takes your lame excuse. “That was a bit quick Anon. You haven’t even been here for more than ten minutes, but I guess I can understand.”
You felt a bit guilty as you may have upset Dash a bit, but if you stayed here any longer, Soarin might have ended up on the ground with a mark on his face.
You rose off your feet and briefly shook his hoof while waving at Dash. You didn’t say anything after that and left.
In the distance as you were walking back to your house, you swore you could have heard Soarin say something along the lines of, “Now that he’s gone, what do you say we…”
That pissed you off to the point where you kicked a rock. Unfortunately, the rock was cemented in the ground and all you ended up doing was stubbing your toe. “Ow! Damn rock!” you yelled, clutching your foot in pain. “Who the hell puts a rock in the middle of the road!”
“You alright, Sugarcube?”
You froze. There were ponies this far out of town? You glanced at the pony in question and found none other than Applejack.
“What do you want?” you snapped.
Taken aback by your behavior, Applejack came closer and brought you into a hug. You awkwardly released your foot as she held you in her embrace. You sighed a bit and realized what you were doing. Here you were, upset at basically nothing and taking it out on your friends.
“Sorry AJ. I’m just not myself lately,” you admitted. You awkwardly return the hug.
“It’s alright, Sugarcube.” She broke the hug and gave you a worried look. “I jus’ never seen you actin’ like that. Figured a hug would go a long way to make ya feel better. Mind if I ask what’s going on in that little mind of yours?”
You frowned. “I honestly have no idea. I’ve been getting these weird sensations lately and I don’t know why.”
“What’re you feeling?”
“Well, lately, I’ve been feeling like a slight pressure on my chest, like a pony sitting on me. Other times I feel as if there are butterflies buzzing around in my stomach. Anyways, what are you doing out here so late?”
Applejack looked thoughtful for a moment. “Well I was just heading home after selling some apples in the market today, but I saw you lookin’ like someone really upset you. Anyways, I think I may know what your problem is.”
“This I got to hear.”
“You might be in love, Sugarcube. Least, it sounds like it. Does it happen around a certain pony or ponies?”
“Uhh…” you had to think for a moment. It all started with Rainbow Dash and the kiss. Then you stated getting those butterflies when you saw her, or when you thought about her. The pressure on your chest was relatively new compared to the butterflies. The first time you felt that pressure was when you heard Dash had a colt-
“No,” you stated. “That’s stupid.” Your frown deepened.
“No, what?” a confused Applejack asked. “Who is it?”
“Listen AJ, I kind of need to head home. I need to clear my head. I’ll talk to you later.” You walked away from her and waved.
“Come visit sometime,” she hollered.
You couldn’t see into the future, but you could tell that you weren’t going to be making visits anytime soon.
You groaned as you picked yourself up off the couch. With a noticeable slouch in your posture, you began moving slabs of wood into your fire place, grunting at random intervals. Indeed a life time had passed by you, and your aching back was proof that you had gotten too old for this. At the ripe age of 65, most of all you had left were the memories of you and that impossible mare; things that could have been, but never happened. Even as all the years went by, she was always on your mind, like an obsessed child wanting ‘just one more hour of video games.’ You just wanted one more hour with Dash.
After lighting the fire, you dragged (quite literally) your feet back to where you had been sitting. You weren’t as fast as you used to be, so it had taken a while for you to sit down. You never thought you would have made it this far in life, watching yourself wither away day by day, aches and pains randomly shooting all around your body at different intervals. Your heart was as cold as your house and you hoped to warm it up by reliving some of your favorite memories, as the fire did to your house.
You picked up the diary and started shifting through it. In it were all the adventures you kept a record of here in Equestria. One entry in particular caught your eye. It was the day you realized that you were in love with the speedy pegasus. You were depressed and in denial at first, but once you admitted it, you felt as if a huge pressure was lifted off your chest.
Another restless night! It’s like as if the universe was out to get you. All you wanted to do was sleep over what Applejack said. Wasn’t sleep necessary to solve problems that the waking mind couldn’t? Whatever. You just wanted to get this day over with, so you could get some much deserved sleep.
You hopped out of bed and went through your morning rituals, still annoyed from the events of last night. You glanced in the mirror and noticed your face was a bit worn, probably from the lack of sleep. You definitely had seen better days.
You winced when the morning sun hit your face. As if you already weren’t annoyed already, you swore that Celestia’s sun was mocking you. You closed the door and grumbled to yourself, much like an old man would. After making sure your house was locked, you made your way to work. Ponies waved at you, but you ignored them. You just didn’t want to deal with this equines today, but fate had a different plans as who other than Rainbow Dash came flying your way.
“Hey Anon, what’s up?” Dash greeted as she landed gracefully in front of you. She was the last pony you wanted to talk to. “Whoa, you don’t look so good,” she observed.
“Thanks, Dash,” you retort sarcastically.
She was compulsive. Even when talking, she couldn’t refrain what was on her mind. Noticing what she had said wasn’t the best of words; she tried her best to fix her mistake. “Uh, well what I meant to say was, you don’t look as cheery as you usually do.”
You waved off her comment. “It’s fine, Dash. I just had an off week.”
“Did you fix that mistake at the post office?” she asked.
“What mistake?”
“Duh, the one you went to go fix last night, remember?”
Oh crap. You had forgotten about that, almost being caught in a lie. “Yeah, I did. Everything’s fine now.”
“You sure?” She was still worried.
“Yes.”
“Well I hope your week gets better. Hate to see a friend down in the dumps,” she admitted.
Before you could even usher in a response, you were caught off guard by another one of Dash’s hugs. A slight gasp emitted from your lips as she squeezed you tight. She was like a power generator or something, because every time she made contact with you, you felt like you could tackle the world.
You returned the hug as you buried your head into one of Dash’s shoulders, taking in her scent, which smelled of petrichor. You exhaled slowly, committing that smell she had to memory. She was about to let go, but you drew her in closer. It was her turn to gasp. She didn’t reject it, which was fine by you. You needed this; her warm embrace to lighten your mood a bit.
You didn’t want to hold her there for too long, lest you fall victim to another social blunder. As you released her, your body reacted slightly, missing the embrace that you two shared. You smiled for the first time this morning as she gave you her cocky grin.
“Thanks, Dash. I actually really needed that.”
“Heh, you are so sappy! But it’s cool. Don’t get used to it. I think I’ve spoiled you enough already for one week,” she responded playfully punching your shoulder.
“Anyways, I have to go or the Ponyville Weather Committee will write me up. One more write-up and I’m suspended for a month without pay.”
“Maybe you should stop sleeping on the job,” you teased, feeling more upbeat.
She gave another playful punch. “Watch it, bud. Don’t think just because you’re bigger than me that I won’t take you down.”
“Is that a challenge?”
You swore that her grin couldn’t get any cockier. She distanced herself from you and gave a wink. “No, it’s a statement.”
With that she took off, leaving a streak of rainbow behind her. “She’s asking for it,” you smiled.
As soon as she left, you once again found yourself alone, as if your mom had had taken you away from all of your friends. Emptiness was the best way you could describe it, but knowing that you actually received two hugs from her already put an extra bounce in your step. Bitter-sweet as they called it.
“Well, I’ll be,” a familiar cowpony’s voice got your attention. What was she doing there? Didn’t she have a farm to run? You turned to her and noticed that you were actually by her apple stand. How convenient. “I think I found my answer,” she confirmed.
Slightly annoyed, you raised an eyebrow at her. “And what business is that of yours?”
“Actually, it is my business considering you’re both my friends,” she chuckled. “Whoo-wee, never thought I’d see the day where Anon actually fell for a pony. You were always against that,” she recalled.
Flustered, you tried to play off her comment. “I’m not falling for anybody! Dash and I are just forming a better friendship.”
“Uh-huh. Is that why you seem so chipper all of a sudden? Why just this morning, you didn’t look so hot and now all of a sudden you have a silly ol’ grin that you’re still sporting.”
“What grin? I’m not grinning! I am very upset because some orange pony by the name of Applejack is stalking me!”
“Whatever you say, partner,” Applejack giggled.
You brought your hand up to your face and touched your lips. She was right. You were grinning like a retard. You could have sworn you were yelling at her, but it probably just looked like you were caught in a lie.
She came around the corner from her apple stand and beckoned you to come down to her level. You crouched, curious what the farm pony wanted to do. “Look, Sugarcube,” she wrapped one of her forelegs around you, “In all this time that you’ve known me, have I ever lied to you?”
“No,” you admitted.
“Now listen to me when I say this, and listen good.” A serious aura replaced her playful demeanor. “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way or anything, and I definitely don’t want you to ruin your day. But there comes a time in your life where you get caught up in something you never expect. Right now, I can see you lying to yourself and it’s hurting you. Instead of just trying to sleep it off, you gotta really think about what’s going on here. I’m not gonna say anything else. Don’t try and argue with me, Sugarcube. Just go to work, do your job and come back home and think. That’s it. Just think.”
She released you and went back to her stand, leaving you confused. You opened your mouth to utter something, but decided against it. Applejack was smart; smarter than her southern accent let on. She may have been all about the farm life, but she was also an Element of Harmony. She knew what it meant to be a friend, what with all of the stories you heard about her.
Defeated, you waved goodbye to her and left to work. You looked at your watch and from the looks of it, you were going to be late.
Work had come and gone. Now you were headed back home, but you felt tired. Your shoulders had been drooping so much this past week that you might as well have been The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Dark circles hung below your eyes and your hair was a mess. Did you even comb it today? Noises from the outside world were muffled, causing you to ignore the ponies that attempted to greet you. The lack of sleep from the previous night had caught up to you and all you could think about was your comfy bed.
You miraculously reached your house without passing out. All you remember was carelessly tossing yourself onto your bed, not even bothering to take off your clothes. You waited for sleep to take hold of you, so you could finally have that rest you needed.
Unfortunately, it never came. You yawned and tried different positions to get comfortable, but the traditional way of lying down didn’t appear to work. You were getting a bit restless and tried other ways of going to bed. Counting sheep, drinking a glass of warm milk, reading a book, lying on the floor, and even taking a hot shower didn’t help.
You groaned, rubbing your eyes. Why couldn’t you fall asleep? If you were about to pass out in the street, why couldn’t you do it in the comfort of your own bed? You thought about what Applejack had said. Instead of trying to sleep it off, you really gotta really think about what’s going on here.
“Screw you Applejack. I know what I want,” you declared.
Three days had passed since you made your declaration and things only got worse. You actually called in to work (technically wrote a letter, as phones weren’t a commodity in Equestria) because you just couldn’t get yourself on track. You accrued some personal days there anyways, so it wasn’t like you left them hanging.
A thick beard began to manifest around your once clean-shaven face and your hair looked as greasy as ever. You didn’t even bother to do laundry or clean your apartment. Random plates and paper bags were scattered across your living room floor. Unwashed pans piled high on your stove, and your usually clean tile floor was covered in dirt and grease. You slumped motionless on your couch, not having done a single productive thing since taking off from work. A sigh escaped your lips. All you could think about was her.
A knock came from your door. At first, you didn’t want to answer it as you weren’t interested to socialize with anyone. A prolonged and louder knock came again. You definitely weren’t in the mood. “Nobody’s home!” you yelled, anger dripping from your teeth.
“C’mon, dude. I know you’re there,” came a muffled familiar tomboyish voice. Huh? What was she doing here? Speak of the devil. The comfort of your couch refused to release you to greet her at the door. You sat there for a moment, deciding if it would really be worth talking to her. “Hello, you know it’s not cool to ignore your friends like this.”
“Yeah, yeah give me a second,” you responded.
Finally, with enough willpower, you slowly rose from your couch. You made your way to the door and opened it. The first thing you were met with was a gasp.
“Yes Rainbow can I help you?”
“Whoa, you don’t look so good, dude. Is everything alright?”
“Peachy,” you responded, sarcasm dripping from your voice. “Why?”
“Ugh, dude! Not cool! When was the last time you brushed your teeth,” she winced, covering her nose with her hoof in disgust. You covered your mouth, feeling embarrassed.
“Sorry,” you apologized. “What’s up?” you asked quickly, hoping not to bring more discomfort to Rainbow.
“No one has seen you around town for the past few days. I just dropped by to see if everything was okay,” she answered, with obvious worry in her voice. She removed her hoof from her face.
“Everything is fine; I’m just taking a few days to myself sort things out is all.”
“You need any help? You don’t have to do it alone. That’s what friends are for,” she offered.
“Thank you Rainbow, but I think this is something I have to do on my own you know?” If your breath smelled like a sewer, just imagined what your house smelled like.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
She hovered for a couple of moments, rubbing the back of her head avoiding eye contact with you. You coughed, staring awkwardly at her as if she was taking valuable time away from you.
“So…”
“Yeah…” Why was she still there? “I think I’ll be going now.” She hesitated for a bit, waiting as if she wanted you to invite her in to your house. Like hell if you were going to let her in. It was messy in there. “I’ll catch you on the flip side,” she said, slowly hovering away from you.
“Take care, Rainbow,” you waved feeling slightly guilty for being short with her. “We should hang out sometime,” you offered, hoping it would help.
“Sounds cool. Just let me know when,” she uttered, unsure if leaving your side was the right decision. “If I don’t see you for the rest of the week, I’m dragging you out myself, got it?” she half threatened, half joked around.
For the first time in days, you cracked a smile. “Got it,” you returned, closing the door.
The feeling of loneliness crept through your emotions, but this time you were expecting it. You noticed that every time Rainbow left your side, you felt it. Your smile quickly dropped. It was like a poison that ran through your veins, dampening what confidence was left within you.
You flopped back down on your couch and sighed. You thought back to Pinkie and her antics. She completely froze when you said you were meeting with Rainbow and her coltfriend and didn’t know what you were expecting. You just chalked it up to Pinkie just being Pinkie, but now that you had the time to think, did she notice something that you didn’t? What if she thought that you were interested in Dash, like Applejack thought?
You waved it off; now you were just making assumptions. But then it got you to start thinking: Did you really fall in love with Rainbow Dash? She did have a unique mane. The way her colors intertwined with each other made her stand out as arguably the most colorful pony in all of Equestria. Her cerise eyes added intensity to match her brash attitude. Just staring into her eyes made you shiver in ecstasy.
Oh god, what were you thinking? She’s was a pony! But yet, the more you thought about it, the more you started to lose what was left of your humanity. You started thinking of her lean muscle mass. She needed it for her tricks and amazing ability to fly fast, but she worked those muscles out to perfection. You had seen other pegasi like Cloudchaser and they too shared that similar trait, but Dash was something else. You recalled how soft, yet firm her hugs were.
Then you thought of her scratchy voice. It was rough compared to any other female pony’s voice, but it never bothered you. If you had the chance, you could probably listen to her brag all day.
That brought you to her personality. Other ponies didn’t like her ego, but you enjoyed it. It was part of who she was. She was also adventurous, which always brought excitement to your life (because let’s face it, all you did here your entire life was work to survive). One trait that you shared with her was always looking forward to a challenge. You liked her competitive attitude, even if it did cause some public embarassment.
A smile crept up on your face as you thought more and more about her. You caught yourself smiling this time, which surprised you. “Am I really in love?” you asked. It was stupid to think about it, how a kiss brought all this turmoil into your life. It’s not like you ogled her since you first met her, right?
“…And this is Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said as she pointed to her.
“Nice to meet ya,” Rainbow grinned. “You’ll come to know me as the best pony you’ll ever meet.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Don’t listen to her,” she warned.
“Oh really now? So tell me, Dash,” you countered. “What makes you the best pony?”
“Here we go,” Twilight muttered.
“Aside from my awesome mane and looks, I am the fastest flier in all of Equestria. When I’m in the air, I’m unstoppable! Nothing can take me on when I start doing my aerial stunts!”
“Oh really? Mind if I watch you one day. I need to see this for myself,” you gave a toothy grin.
“Stop enabling her!” Twilight yelled.
You ignored Twilight as you caught a glimpse of Rainbow’s flank. Whoops, you didn’t mean to look there. “Like what you see,” Rainbow teased.
“I was just curious about your tattoo on your leg.”
“You mean my cutie mark?”
It hit you like a ton of bricks. You were ogling her this entire time! Anon, you sick dog! Oh god, you couldn’t believe you fell for a pony at first sight. How did you manage not to notice all this time? Were you seriously this much in denial?
You walked to your room and lay in your bed, your body as still as a rock soaking in everything you had just thought about. You exhaled, forming a small smile on your face. “I do love her.”
You sat there, tears forming in your eyes. It had taken you ages, but you were finally able to admit your love for Rainbow Dash. A small drop trailed down your cheeks and dripped onto the page you had open, creating a damp circle on the word ‘love.’ You sniffled and wiped your eyes, clearing your vision that was beginning to blur from the water in your eyes.
Your doorbell rang, frightening you a little bit. Who could it have been? You slowly reached the door and peaked through your peephole. Realizing who it was, you opened it.
“Hey gramps, how’s it hanging?” A young tomboy pegasus walked in, carrying a bunch of groceries. She placed them on your kitchen counter, shivering slightly. “Sorry I’m late, but the storm slowed me down a bit,” she admitted.
“That’s fine, Scoots. Thank you for running those errands for me. A guy my age would freeze to death in that weather,” you responded.
She flashed you a grin, similar to what Rainbow Dash used to sport back in her day. They may have not been blood related, but there were some things between Rainbow and Scootaloo shared in common.
“So I brought you some chocolate chip waffles, kale, carrots, cucumbers, spinach, broccoli, and a few of your necessities,” she listed. “I hope I didn’t forget anything.”
“It’s okay if you did. I’m just happy to have a little help from you,” you admitted, giving her a pat on the back. “How are the kids? Have they been doing alright?” you asked.
“Yeah, they’re doing alright. Thunder Breeze is having some troubles in school, though. Maybe I’ll drop by and you can tutor them one day,” she suggested.
“That sounds like a plan.” It was your turn to grin.
It was always a delight for Scootaloo to bring her kids over. They reminded you of you in your younger years. Becoming an old man was humbling, and like you said earlier, you never thought you would have made it this far. It was surreal at times.
“Well, I must be on my way. My husband is probably worried about me,” she giggled, making her way back towards the door. Before she said her goodbyes, she noticed the notebook you had splayed out on your couch. “Oh, no,” she frowned.
“What is it?” You followed her into the living room and noticed what she was staring at.
“How many times do I have to tell you to not read that book? You know how it makes you feel.” She went over and attempted to grab your diary, but you were able to reach it in time as the both of you fought for possession of your memories.
“Hooves of the book!” you shouted.
“Not until you promise to stop reading through it,” she countered. The both of you spent quite a few moments wrestling each other for it and though you were older and more frail than the young mare, you still had some strength left to fend for yourself.
At some point, your fingers gave out and you fell back onto your couch. Irritated at the young mare’s actions you shot a glare at her, as if you had your toy taken away from you.
“Don’t give me that look,” she scolded. “You know I’m doing this for your own good.” She looked at the page you were on and went silent. She looked back at you, nostalgia hitting her hard. “I remember this.” She sat down next to you and continued reading. Unsure of what to do, you moved closer to see what she was talking about. “This was the day you and Rainbow became best friends.” She looked back at you, sympathy showing in her violet eyes.
“I remember it well,” you recalled.
A yawn escaped your mouth as you stretched on your couch. You smacked your lips as you rose from bed. Morning sunlight shined through one of your windows hitting you in the face. Instead of recoiling at the light, you welcomed it for some reason. You scratched your head and slowly stood up. The first thing you noticed was the putrid smell around you. “What the hell!” you shouted in disgust and you pinched your nose.
You sniffed your underarms trying to locate the source of the offensive odor. Sure enough, it was you. “Well, I guess it’s time to take a shower,” you chuckled making fun of yourself. After entering the bathroom, you stripped away the clothes you had been wearing for four days straight, feeling slightly relieved from the sweat and dead skin that accumulated on them.
You ran hot water and flicked the switch to direct the water to the shower head. You wasted no time to jump in. The feeling was amazing! You cracked your neck and back as the hot water hit those hard to reach places. You breathed a sigh of contempt. You stood idle for a while, letting the water massage your back. You didn’t feel like going anywhere, but the thought of returning to work crossed your mind. “I guess I should head back to work today,” you thought.
You wasted no time after your shower and got ready in record time. Of course, you made sure you were thorough in your routine. You didn’t want to smell like death when you walked in to work.
Everything was going smoothly until you realized that you haven’t done laundry in a while. Your closet and dresser was void of any clean clothes, much to your dismay. You looked down at your floor and searched for some clothes that were somewhat clean. You examined them with your eyes and did the smell check to make sure they were at least viable to wear throughout the day.
Once you were satisfied, you went through your last minute checks and proceeded out the door. You welcomed the fresh air of Equestria, feeling a soft, yet cool breeze hit your face. You took a deep breath, taking in everything you could. God you missed this. You released the air you held in your lungs and continued on. For some reason, you felt happier than usual. You thought back to last night and remembered that you finally admitted to falling in love with Rainbow. Now that you looked back on it, you did seem a bit childish, denying what your subconscious was trying to tell you all along. You wanted to shout to the world that you loved Rainbow, but held your tongue.
“Huh, I wonder where everyone is today,” you asked yourself. You peered at your watch and noticed it was 8:30am. Usually the ponies of Ponyville would be bustling at this time, but there were seldom any.
After finally making it to your building, you noticed the lack of a line at the door. “Weird,” you thought. You tried to open the door yourself, but noticed it was locked. Huh, must have been a pony holiday or something.
“Well look who decided to wake up today,” a scratchy voice taunted. You turned and looked up to the already predictable speedy pegasus that had been causing you all this grief. She was sporting that cocky grin that made your heart melt every time you saw it. “You want to hang out, or are you still down in the dumps?” she teased.
“I would, but I have to go to work today.” You felt sad. You really wanted to spend some time with her, but responsibilities were responsibilities.
She giggled. “Are you sure about that? I never heard of a post office open on a Sunday.”
“Wait, what?” you looked at the store hours posted on the door. Oh, wow it was Sunday. That explained why there weren’t as many ponies out.
“But I guess you’re too cool to hang with The Dash, so I guess I’ll just leave and see what my coltfriend is up to,” she mocked, feigning sadness. She turned away from you, slowly distancing away from you.
You sported your own grin and decided to play her at her own game. “Oh really now? I think you’re just scared to be compared so lowly to me in public.”
This caused her ear to twitch. That got her attention. “Excuse me?” In the blink of an eye, she flew back towards you, her face close enough to yours that you could feel her breath. Your spine reacted slightly, sending waves of pleasure throughout your body every time her breath touched your skin. She glared at you, begging for you to challenge her. And challenge you did.
You wanted to kiss her so badly, but refrained from doing so and opted to tease her a bit more. You guided her face away from yours with your hand and walked away from her, your back now turned towards her. “I mean I am pretty awesome, being the only human in Equestria. You’d only be the sideshow, making me look better.” God, you loved playing with her like this. Why didn’t you ever do it before?
“That’s it!”
A sudden burst of air behind you knocked you to the ground before you could react; and before you could even pick yourself up, Rainbow landed on top of you, pinning you to the ground with her two hooves.
“Rainbow what are yo-” you tried to say, trying to struggle away from her grip.
“You asked for it!” she argued, flashing her victory grin. “Are all humans this weak? For as tall as you are, you don’t have much strength. Even Soarin put up a better fight than you.”
You stopped struggling. Oh, hell no! She did not just compare you to Soarin! It was on. Using your body weight against hers, you managed to escape her grip and flip her onto her back. Now it was you who had her pinned. “Who’s the weak one now?” you mocked, mimicking her grin.
She was surprised at your dexterity, and to be honest, you were a bit as well. You were a docile human being, never picking a fight with anyone even when they came looking for you. You avoided any altercation at all costs. Maybe it was the diet you sustained her in Equestria?
“Don’t get too confident, ponyboy! I have more than one trick up my sleeve,” she warned.
“Ponyboy?” Before you had another chance to speak, you found yourself back in the same position Dash held you in, this time more securely. She made sure you couldn’t use your weight to your advantage. For all the ridicule she got from the lack of schooling, she was smart.
The two of you messed around like this for quite a while, verbally fencing each other while wrestling. It was in an odd place to fool around at the front of the post office building, but that didn’t stop you from having fun with her. Stray ponies who passed by the two of you shot odd glances, but never intervened.
Finally after what seemed like an eternity, the two of you separated from one another. The lack of contact from Rainbow left you wanting for more physical interaction. You didn’t wrestle her in a sexual way or anything, but that didn’t stop you from enjoying the close physical contact the two of you shared.
Sweat rolled down your face from the physical exertion. For a pony her size, she was stronger than she let on. You were afraid what Applejack could do if you wrestled her.
“Not bad,” she said in between pants. Rainbow was slightly exhausted as well, but her conditioning was far better than yours. “But you still have a long way if you ever want to compete with me.”
“Ha! I wasn’t even trying,” you shot back. Honestly, you were giving it your all. You weren’t about to have some three foot rainbow-colored pony have her way with you. Oh god, that innuendo.
“So what do you want to do today?” she asked, changing the subject. Her breathing returned to normal, much to your dismay as you were still gasping for air. So much for trying to impress her.
“I’m not really sure. What do you like to do?” you asked.
“Well I obviously love to fly,” she responded, flaring her wings out. “But you can’t fly and I can’t carry you on my back. No offense or anything.”
She was right. Even with all of the magic in this world, there was no way you could fly. Even Twilight was hesitant using magic spells on you, as she didn’t know what side-effects you could possibly develop.
But then you had an idea. “How about I watch you do your stunts? I never actually got to see them before,” you suggested.
This seemed to have made Rainbow happy as she wasted no time taking to the sky. “So you want to see The Dash in action, huh? You should be paying me for giving you a show.” Oh god, the innuendos. “Now watch as I perform the most awesome tricks I pulled off at the Best Young Flyer Competition!”
She landed on a cloud, and glanced down to get a feel of where everything was at. When she was satisfied, she jumped of the cloud like it was a diving board. How did that even work? She flew down back to the ground at incredible speeds, leaving a gust of wind behind her. You only knew that because you felt it as she zoomed past you, dazing you for a moment. She swerved around houses and other buildings with dexterity and ease, causing the few ponies that were walking to stop and stare at the show Rainbow was putting on. You had a feeling that her ego had jumped to unparalleled heights as a crowd slowly gathered to watch the local weather pony.
She flew into the air again, this time circling around clouds. Her velocity alone was able to spin the once idle clouds. Ponies who gathered around gave a couple of cheers, while you stood there stunned. That was pretty amazing. No wonder you fell in love with her.
After she had finished her cloud phase, she gained altitude while doing what seemed some back-breaking loops. As soon as she was satisfied, she began her decent. If you thought she was flying fast before, she just set a whole new record in your mind. It seemed impossible at first, but you swore you could have seen a cone forming around her as she flew faster and faster towards the ground. You couldn’t help but feel a little worried. You weren’t the only one as the crowd who spectated collectively held their breath. What was that crazy mare up to?
Then something happened that you never expected. Instead of increasing speed, she was decreasing speed. For a moment, you breathed a sigh of relief, thanking whatever deity that ruled this dimension that she was safe, but that relief diminished as you saw Rainbow come to an abrupt stop. It lasted about a second or two before she was flung back. You heard a gut-wrenching scream from her as she had no control in the direction she was flying in, which was straight towards you. “Oh, crap!”
You were no athlete, but seeing Rainbow in trouble called for action. You flung your arms open in either direction and tried to guess the approximate position where Rainbow was going to land. “I gotcha!” you screamed at the flailing pegasus. She heeded no mind to your assurance as she was desperately trying to correct her flight path.
You didn’t want to catch her, you needed to catch her. You didn’t think of it then, but you needed to show her that you were there for her.
You gulped as she approached you. You were going to feel this in the morning. Impact in three…two…one…
SMACK!
You caught her, but the impact literally knocked you off your feet as you flew backwards, tightly holding Rainbow in your arms. Time seemed to slow down around you as you glanced at her. Her eyes were as wide as they could have been, and her mouth was ajar. She was shocked, but gave her the most sincere smile you possibly could, letting her know that everything would be okay.
Time sped up as you hit the ground, the contact shocking your entire body. All of the air you had in your lungs was forcefully knocked out, leaving you breathless. Rainbow immediately got off you as you struggled to get back up. “Omigosh, are you okay? You didn’t get hurt did you?” She was hysterical, but that didn’t matter to you so long as she was uninjured.
You writhed and groaned in pain for a few moments as Rainbow repeated the question over and over. As the pain subsided, air filled your lungs as you could breathe again. “I’m fine,” you told her. You slowly got up, still feeling sore. That was the last time you would catch a pony going at terminal velocity.
“You idiot!” she punched you hard.
“Ow, what was that for?” you asked.
“Why did you get in my way? I totally had that in the bag!” she shouted at you, anger plastered on her face.
You were at a loss of words as you didn’t understand what she was talking about. Why was she mad if you saved her from hitting the ground? “But it looked like you were going to crash,” you pleaded.
She groaned as she turned away from you, hiding her face. “I can’t believe I did that.” The ponies that were once spectating had dispersed and resumed their day as if nothing had happened. “At least Soarin wasn’t here to see that,” she mumbled.
You remained silent for a moment as Rainbow mumbled things to herself. Then it hit you. “Where is Soarin?” you asked.
“He went back to the Wonderbolts Academy. He’ll be gone for the rest of the season.” A dejected sigh emitted from the once proud pony. “Listen,” she turned toward you, “Sorry for snapping at you like that. I’m just a bit disappointed in myself for not being able to pull the sonic rainboom off. I can do it sometimes, but not all the time,” she admitted. Your mouth hung open. That was so unlike the Dash you knew. You were kind of surprised she had a humble side to her. “Soarin was impressed the first time he saw me do it. That’s how we met in the first place. After winning the Best Young Flyer Competition, I had a chance to spend the whole day with the Wonderbolts. It was a dream come true,” she continued, reminiscing her past. “Soarin wants me to do another sonic rainboom for him, but I haven’t been able to for a while.”
As much as you hated talking or even thinking about Soarin, this was important to Rainbow. And if it was important to Rainbow, it was important to you.
You approached her and did something you haven’t done before. You hugged her. It was the least you could do, since she was the one always comforting you. You couldn’t give the type of hugs Rainbow gave you, but you tried your best because those types of hugs were the ones that helped you move on.
She gasped in your embrace, not expecting the sudden affection, but she didn’t struggle. She hesitantly wrapped her hooves around you and buried her face into your chest. God, this felt glorious to you. To be there for the love of your life was something that you could never put into words, other than the fact that it felt awesome.
Knowing that Rainbow wasn’t the one for public affection, you broke your embrace and gave her a reassuring smile. “I know you’ll be able to do it when you need too,” you reassured. “You are THE Rainbow Dash, after all.”
She playfully took a jab at your chest. “You are such a sap,” she criticized. “But thank you. I am pretty awesome, after all.” Her trademark grin started showing.
There was the Rainbow Dash you knew and loved. “Don’t let it go to your head, or I might have to pop it,” you teased.
Rainbow was about to respond to you, but she was interrupted by a small filly’s voice, “Hey, Rainbow Dash!” A small Scootaloo came running up to where the two of you were standing. “Is everything alright? I saw you in the sky doing some amazing tricks!”
“Hey, squirt!” Rainbow greeted.
You met Scootaloo before when you arrived in Ponyville. She was scared and untrusting of you at first, but eventually warmed up to you. You didn’t see much of her, unfortunately. She seemed like a cool filly hang around. She was like a mini-Dash.
“Hey, Scootaloo,” you made your presence known.
The little filly turned her attention towards you for a mere second. “Hi, Anon!”
“So, what’s my number one fan been up to?” Rainbow asked.
“Well yesterday, me and my friends were setting up a shop to get our cutie marks in customer service,” she beamed. Who in the right mind would want a cutie mark in customer service? You’d have to be really good with peo-, er ponies to get one of those, and while Scoots was an outgoing little filly, she was just too impatient to deal with that kind of stuff. “We, kind of got some ponies mad and the Mayor shut down our shop,” she admitted, slightly embarrassed. Dash giggled and so did you. You wished you were there to see that. “Is it alright if I can spend some time with you today, Dash?” she asked.
Rainbow looked towards you for confirmation, to which you just shrugged. “I don’t mind.”
“You sure you can hang with the adults, squirt?” Rainbow asked.
“Heck, yeah!” she shouted.
The three of you spent the rest of the afternoon down by the lake, splashing around and playing silly little games like Marco Polo and nonsensical splash fights. You were so happy, you didn’t even bother taking off your clothes when you took a dip into the lake. Did you mention that there was a lot of body contact between you and Rainbow?
At one point you role-played as the legendary hydra, substituting your appendages for heads. Your goal was to ‘eat’ Scootaloo, while Rainbow acted as her guardian, trying to stave you off. Rainbow had done her best to hold you down, but a quick reflex of your hand stopped her assault as you mercilessly tickled her. The noises that she made melted your heart. She had the cutest laugh, hands down (no pun intended).
While you were busy with Rainbow, Scootaloo took initiative and attempted to thwart your tickling plans, but in the end it proved futile as your remaining free hand got a hold of her and began tickling her, too. “These ponies are delicious,” you exclaimed in an overly-exaggerated monster voice. Their cries for you to stop fell upon deaf ears as they were both helpless to defend themselves. Finally, after thinking they had enough you released both of them, satisfied with your own victory. Unfortunately, what goes around comes around and you weren’t prepared when Rainbow pinned you to the side of the lake while Scootaloo began tickling you. All in all, it was a great day.
As the sun began to set over the horizon, the three of you took a moment to dry off. It was getting late and everyone had to return to work tomorrow, including you. Scootaloo was the first to leave, saying that she was expected back at her house by sundown which left you and Rainbow by yourselves.
“I didn’t know you were so great with kids,” Rainbow complimented you as she shook herself dry like a dog.
“Neither did I,” you chuckled. “Maybe I should be a teacher.”
“Either way, I had a blast today. You aren’t as uptight as I thought you were, Anon,” she admitted. “You always wear fancy suits and walk around like you own the place.”
“Heh, I can be serious sometimes, but I just take things as they come. There’s nothing wrong with being spontaneous.” You opted to air dry, feeling uncomfortable undressing in front of Rainbow.
“Definitely, that what I like in a stallion,” she agreed. She brought her hooves to her mouth, as if she had said something wrong. You raised an eyebrow at her, wondering what she meant by that. Was she interested in you? “Sorry, I’m not hitting on you or anything like that. I know how much you dislike the thought of dating somepony. What I meant to say was, I like ponies that aren’t held on a strict schedule, you know? I already have that egghead Twilight doing that,” she chuckled.
Well, there went your hopes and dreams. “I know that feel. The first time I came here, Twilight made me a set schedule and I followed it for about a week until I became frustrated.”
“Anyways, I should probably get going. Gotta keep up that good behavior at work to dig myself out of that hole,” she blushed. “We have to hang out again, sometime.”
She flew down to you and gave you a tight hug. The sun had just disappeared over the horizon, light only faintly emitting in the darkening sky. You returned the hug and like always, you felt like the king of Equestria. “See ya around!” she said releasing her embrace. Before you could say your goodbyes, she was gone in the blink of an eye.
Your smiled faded into a neutral expression as you felt alone once again. A single tear escaped your eye and streamed down your cheeks. “I love you,” you whispered.
You made your way back into the middle of the city, where ponies were closing down what little shops were open for the night. Tomorrow was Monday; the beginning of a new week and so far, it looked like that week was going to be one of the best you had in a long time.
Before you could reach your house, you ran into Applejack. “Howdy, Anon! Fancy seeing you here this late,” she waved. As much as you hated to admit that Applejack was right, you had to give credit where credit was due.
“Hi, Applejack. I was just out by the lake with Rainbow and Scoots earlier. Just got back as you can tell,” you pointed towards your dampened clothes.
“Spending time with your special somepony,” she teased.
You blushed slightly, avoiding eye contact.
“So did you do what I told ya to do?” she asked.
“Yeah, I did. As much as it pains me to say it, you were right. I am in love with Rainbow Dash. Sorry, if I ever snapped at you or anything.”
She waved it off. “So long as you’re honest with yourself from now on, I accept your apology. You definitely seem like your old self, again.”
“Yeah, being honest with myself really helped me with my mood. I never knew how lying to yourself could bring you down like that,” you admitted. “But I’m glad you helped me through it, AJ.” You walked up to her and gave her a hug similar to what you gave Rainbow earlier. “I appreciate your friendship.”
“Don’t be getting all mushy on me now, but if you ever need anything, I’m here to help you,” she offered as you released her.
“You know, I wouldn’t mind some advice from the Element of Honesty from time to time. Thank you Applejack.”
“You’re welcome, Sugarcube.”
You said your goodbyes to each other and separated. You entered your house, feeling a bit drained from all the physical activity you did today. If you were going to be hanging with Rainbow Dash more, you had a slight feeling that you may develop that six-pack you’ve always wanted.
