One Tree in the Whitetail Woods

by Sketchbeam

The Whitetail Woods

The familiar Whitetail Woods glistened under the rays of the flickering sun. As the clouds passed over the canopy, the sunlight gave them an ethereal quality as the wind gently caressed them and the leaves. Raindrops spewed forth from the storm, dampening a spot that was well-worn from travel. Near the spot lay a green tree as common as the others in the woods, unremarkable in all aspects, except for three individuals next to it.

“I found you Alex!”

“…”

“You were looking for me, Shimmerstone?”

“Don’t play dumb with me buster! Everyone from the book club has been looking for you these three days, especially Vibrant, who is right behind you by the way.”

“Alex, we’re all worried about you. I’m worried about you. How could you expect us to not help?”

“That is true. I am not getting out of this am I?”

“No.”

“Fine then. What do you want to talk about?”

“First, me being a transgender mare has affected you in some way since reading Dysphoria. Second, you knew that I was a transmare the very first month I came here but didn’t say anything about it even though it bothered you. Third, you probably didn’t say anything about it because you were confused since I know you tried to hide reading all of those books. Fourth, you are the first person that tried to understand me, however contradictory that was with who you were."

"Did you know how much that meant to me? However long it took, you were the first one to treat me like who I am. My own parents couldn’t even understand how I felt. But you did eventually. I can’t … you have done so much for me, and I owe you so much more than my gratitude. For the first time, I felt at home, with you and everyone else. I have friends who all make me feel that I belong, who all make me feel loved. And now I have a new life, a community that accepts me for who I am, and a cozy home. I don’t know if you’re afraid, confused, guilty, or even angry at your feelings, but I want to help you sort them out. I want to help you to accept who you are. Please let me.”

“No … I will not. I do not deserve …”

“Don’t you dare lie to me! You taught me that there will be people who will care you if you give them a chance. Give them a chance. Won’t you?”

At this, Alex just angled his head down slowly and flatly stated, “You will not want to give a chance after I tell you the truth.”

“I … I need to show you something important.” Alex then reached into his bag and pulled out a journal.

“I have been avoiding this for months now. Now I cannot avoid it anymore.” He cracked open the book and slowly began to read.

---

Alex hung his head. “So yeah. This is my secret. I know all of you may be surprised, definitely angry. Vibrant, this is what I have been hiding for the past few months.”

“I am worthless. Every single day I have to tell myself what is right. None of these good thoughts came second nature to me. I want to accept your friendship, but I do not deserve it. All of these actions that I have taken after I lost all of my friends in college were ones that I took to understand my crumbling world better. It is never enough. I am not a good person. Not a good person. I just cannot hide my past anymore. So … I …”

“You’re right you know. You can’t hide your past. Not being able to is a part of who I am as well. But even now, at what you feel is your lowest point, you understand. It doesn’t matter if what you did wasn’t second nature or not. You chose all of these actions because you want to be a good person. You are. I thought you would have known that already, but I’ll remind you for as long as it takes for YOU to know that.

“But—” Alex’s eyes moistened as he turned away from Vibrant and Shimmerstone.

“You’re feeling as if you can never make up for what you feel are your mistakes. So I forgive you.”

“What?”

“I forgive you.”

“You can’t—”

“I can. I forgive you.”

“I don’t—”

"You do. I forgive you.”

“Do you mean it?”

“I’ll say those words again and again because I mean them.” Vibrant then trotted over to where Alex sat and embraced him.

Alex eventually spoke. “When I read of Evening Rose’s death for the first time … I’m ashamed that it didn’t affect me much. When I read of her death the last time, I thought of you. It made me think of what I did to hurt you. Of how I might not have cared. Please tell me … tell me you’re here. Please.”

“I’m here. Nothing will change that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Then … then the answer to your question was yes.”

As they embraced, Alex choked out a couple of sobs while Vibrant kept his head close, nuzzling it.

Comments

[Sketchbeam]

5139736
I'm glad to hear you thought the journal/story mechanic did well; I was worried it would be too disjointed. And for the content, I thought providing a window into the mind of an individual we would call intolerant might be interesting to read, if a little unsettling. Thank you for the feedback.

[Divine Path]

Most scrumptious. I would have liked some imagery, but still, it was animate to catch, that fleeting fantastic narrative woven so neatly with feeling~
Excellent work, dear Author.

[Sketchbeam]

6801864
Your desire for more imagery is totally understandable. I just didn't have the skill or experience to do more than what I did with the story. I actually was more concentrated on the interactions between the two characters. This was because I read another story on this site featuring a transgender character that ended in tragedy. This story was written as a response to help me deal with the sadness I felt. Thank you though.

[Divine Path]

6802212
This was a lovely read, only, it could be much more. You do have skill, you know? You're most welcome~

[Divine Path]

6802212
I hope things have improved.

[Sketchbeam]

6802477
Thanks. But it's only my first and only story. I should improve. Just haven't really wanted to write after this story.

[Sketchbeam]

6802482
And things did improve. Thank you for asking.

[Divine Path]

6805562
I hope you find inspiration, and the drive to create again, then. If you can find it, I think it would be rather enjoyable for you.:3 I'm glad you're fine.

[Sketchbeam]

6840371
Thanks for your kind words. I was pretty happy when he started calling her that too. It was kind of hard to write a character with views so drastically different than your own. I even wanted to just stop writing at certain points within the story. But one of the reasons I kept going was because of another story I read, which I mentioned in the author's notes, I think.

It's weird, but I wanted to make a story as a response to that other story with three things in mind. One, hate is real and it has terrible effects on individuals. Two, sometimes this leads to conflict, and violence sometimes reigns. Three, I wanted to leave dreary reality and leave the dreary ending of that other story, by making the first two points null and void.

Hate exists and mostly likely will never die, but I hoped to mitigate it's terrible effects by replacing Alex's hate and disgust with compassion and knowledge over time, starting with his inability to retain friends. Everyone needs friends, otherwise loneliness prevails. I think his drive to avoid that kept him going on his path.

And while on that path, I made it a point to never have his anger and hate lead him to physical violence. I think writing such a scene would be too much for me. If I could make a world where violence does not prevail, it would be here, with words I crafted into a story. Also, while this is not the case in the real world, Vibrant only feared getting fired previously if the characters in her past found out about what she kept secret. Again, I didn't want the character fearing for her life, which would have set a darker tone. I had the power to change that.

In which case, hopefully, I made a compelling tale about overcoming bigotry in a tone I think set by a lot of slice of life stories on this website. Again, thanks for reading.