A Second Chance For Music

by Sk8erdude

Prolouge

A/N: My first fanfic attempt, please don’t kill me if this sucks
Four ponies walked down the road where it led to Ponyville.These four ponies called themselves “The Long Forgotten Sons “it is the name of their band. They wanted to go down to Ponyville for a reason for a second chance, they were traveling musicians that perform in many parts of Equestria. They never had a home to live in except they used to live in a broken down house which was their only home. When the band finally made the money off of their performances they done, they all got their saddlebags and instruments and left the hell hole they called home which their journey to Ponyville began.

On the right is a Pegasus with a black acoustic guitar holstered to his back, his name is Casper. He is a yellow Pegasus with a brown shaggy mane and straight tail with cutie mark of an Octave music note. He wears a white shirt with black vest and red tie kind of loose making him look like a punk or a street rat, but he doesn’t care if some high class pony or anypony stares at like if he is a troublemaker. Casper is one of the band’s guitar player and singer which was a gift from his older brother. Casper is the youngest from the band also he is very confident and chill, but when comes with mares or meeting a new friend, he is shy. Sometimes he gets crazy at times when he finishes his guitar solos.
“How long is this going to take us? Are we even there yet? “Casper said irritated the fact that his hooves are killing him.
“Just a few more miles and we’re there.” Stefan said to his brother.
“Just a few miles, my flank you know you always say that have you noticed that?” He said annoyed to his older brother.
“Would you quit whining keep walking.” Stefan threatened him.
“Well I got 2 things, one, I’m not whining just complaining and second, sheesh dude take a chill pill” He noogied his brother
“Whatever” Trying to fix his mane from the damage.
Stefan is a Pegasus and Casper’s older brother. Also the band’s main singer. He is as the same color as Casper with a short straight spiky mane brown mane with green on the tip of his mane. He has a long spiky tail with brown highlighted green. Also, has a cutie mark of a microphone. Stefan kinda always gets annoyed of his brother, but never thinks about beating the crap out of him. At the same time he loves and hates him. He is confident and unlike his brother he is not shy around new friends and mares.
“You know compadre, he is right take a chill pill” said a brown pony with a Hispanic accent who was standing to the left side of Stefan.
“Thank you like always.” Casper said confidently standing on his hind legs with his right fore hoof on his chest
“Don’t mention it, well no offence you’re not right all the time” Felix corrected him.
“hey hey” He protested
Felix is a brown earth pony with a black and red mane and with a short spiky tail same color as him mane. Felix has a cutie mark of a white and black bass guitar. He wears a black vest and glasses Felix is a shy kind of pony, he is not a very social with anypony except with his band members. Felix came from a place called Nuevo Paraíso where he spoke his language to his family and friends which was Spanish, but spoke a little Equestrian. He migrated to Manehattan to live the Equestrian life making him an immigrant. Felix sometimes speaks a little Spanish when Casper is around cause he knows a little. To the band he is pretty good bass player.
“Hey calm down you’re starting to be like Stefan” A grey unicorn said on Felix’s left
“Yeah you should know!” Stefan yelled waving his forearms at Casper
“Say it don’t spray it” Casper said wiping his face.
“Yeah what he said!” Yelled the grey unicorn
The grey unicorn on the left of Felix is named Josiah. Josiah has a long black and blue mane covering both of his eyes. His cutie mark is a pair of drum sticks. Josiah is the only band’s drummer and pretty much he takes the band seriously. Josiah is a very chill pony, would get mad easily unlike Stefan. Josiah was an orphan at a local foster home located somewhere in Fillydelphia til one day he ran away. Wandered off in Manehattan where he met the band and joined them. But he is still trying forget the memories from that hell hole they called a foster home.
“Hey Stef you think we’re almost there cause this trip is starting to piss me off” Said Casper who was complaining about the walk.
Stefan stood there with smile on his making the band stop walking looking at him like they saw a ghost. With that it was completely silent no one bother to speak cause of Stefan’s situation.
“You alright there or you’re just going stand there and creep us the hay out of us with that psycho look.” Josiah decided to break silent.
“Just stop with that look, it’s starting to make Felix cry” Casper pointing at Felix who was
“At least I didn’t cry from that snake prank that pulled when you were sleeping” Felix protested
“Dammit Felix, you know I’m scared of snakes.” Casper said angrily
“They were fake you know and got you back at least.” He corrected him
“Well I-“Casper was cut off by Josiah who was trying snap Stefan out of trance.
“Would you guys just shut up, we’re in Ponyville now.” Josiah interrupted the argue between the two.
“Oh yeah right, prove it.” Casper who thought it Josiah was lying
Josiah told Casper to turn around but refused to. With that Josiah levitated Casper with his forearms crossed and an annoyed look on his face around like a ragdoll.
“Does that answer your question?” The grey unicorn said a little annoyed.
“No, still don’t see.” Casper’s forearms were still crossed
“Open your eyes and just look.” He told Casper once more
“Well, if I my eyes I’m going to-“He was cut off with eyes widen when he saw the “Welcome to Ponyville” billboard. Out of nowhere he started to scream “Thank Celestia Yes!!” at the top of his lungs with two mares passing him looking at like he’s crazy. ”Sorry about that” he apologized, the band on the other hand couldn’t help, but stifled a laugh.
“Yeah and I thought I was the weird one” Stefan said sarcastically.
“What are you pendejos waiting for Hearth’s Warming?” Felix told the band waving his arms
“Yeah what Felix said let’s go to our new home” Josiah motivated the band.
The band were at the entrance of the town, they all shared pretty confident looks at each other knowing that they’re ready to walk into town.
“Well guys, let’s do this” Stefan told the guys

Comments

[MonumentalSin]

Interesting concept. BUT please do some re-reading. And use commas! The sentences were horrible sometimes . Maybe you could let me check your next chapters? Or even the prologue ,too.
Concept: 6/10
Grammar: 4,5/10

And you used some weird style to discribe the characters.
But anyways, wating to see how the stoy develops.
Overall 5/10. Keep going! I see potencial!

[Sk8erdude]

487639 I apologize about the grammar mistakes and plus I was pretty nervous of how to start this story out.

[Mes Amis]

Bro no need to worry you just need to work on it and then you will become a better fic writer. Until you have mastered this problem you don't got to worry. trust me I'm a pysosopath. Just kidding about that last part.