Sam lay back in his chair, glancing around the office. Max had gone down to Bosco's Inconvenience Store for some corn dogs and sodas, leaving Sam to twiddle his paws in the office. Getting to his paws, he stretched his hands and arms over his head as he wandered around the office to examine a few of the things scattered around from past cases.
"Hmm...Jessie James' hand," he muttered to himself as he examined the hand mounted over the closet door. "I don't know why I keep looking at it. Rather gruesome in its own way." Shrugging his shoulders, he straightened his blue tie as he smoothed out his blue business suit and straightened his hat. Sitting back down, the canid began bouncing a ball against a nearby wall, catching it in his mouth as it returned to him.
As he threw the ball for the 12th time, the office door swung open. "Sam!" Max called out eagerly, his long ears waving around his head as he grinned widely, showing all his sharp teeth as he always did. "Look what I found!"
Sam examined his lifelong lagomorph companion, from his pure white body to his beady black eyes, his sharply pointed ears and the strange top hat clutched in his hands. "Max, I thought you were getting corn dogs and sodas."
"I forgot my wallet," Max explained casually, "and Bosco wasn't in the mood to accept bullets as an alternative payment plan. But check this out!" He held up the hat. "I found it outside Bosco's store! It's a magician's hat!"
Sam raised an eyebrow. "How do you know it's a magician's hat? Is his head still inside?"
"Sadly, no," Max admitted. "But look at it! Can't you see the eldritch glow of ancient powers which we mere mortals were never meant to fool with?"
Sam gently took the hat from Max's hands. Holding it up, he turned it over in his hands, sniffing here and there to get a better sense of the hat. "I'm afraid not, pal. It just looks like an ordinary hat to me."
"Oh Sam, you're such a philistine," Max chided, shaking his head. "Haven't you learned to use your imagination yet?"
"I've got you for that, Max," Sam replied, smiling as he leaned back in his chair once more. "So does this mean you're going to try to do some magic?"
"Of course!" Max proclaimed, holding the hat out one handed with the open end up. "Behold," he proclaimed, waving his hand over the hat, "as the great Maximilian Vermicelli performs the most stupefying feats of preposterous prestidigitation as ever seen by people's eyes!"
Sam chuckled. "Well, Mr. Pasta, what will you be doing? Will you be pulling a rabbit out of your hat?" He snickered a bit at that.
"Oh ye of little dreams!" Max bemoaned. "No, this rabbit...is going to pull a magician out of his hat!"
Sam grinned. "I'll believe that when I see it!"
"Bet you 20 bucks I can!" Max said quickly.
"You crack me up, little buddy. You're on!"
Grinning, Max waved his hand over the open hat. "Abara Kadabara, Presto Chango, Mumbo Jumbo Mystic Mambo! By the craftings of the ancient gods, powers of the multiverse obey my will! Come forth, magician Great and Powerful!" With that, he thrust his hand into the hat.
When he pulled his hand out, he clutched a tiny, pale blue equine with big purple eyes, a paler blue and white mane and tail, wearing a purple pointed hat and cape - both with a star scattered design - the cape held clasped by a perfectly carved sapphire, a spiral horn rising from the center of her forehead, and clutching a teddy bear and a toy wand in her forelegs. She looked around nervously as Max held her.
Sam sat up. "Okay, Max, I'll pay up...if you tell me where you got that creature and why you'd dress her up like that."
"Honestly Sam, I have no idea," Max admitted. "I've never seen her before in my life."
"Why is the doggy talking?" the filly asked in confusion.
"Yeah, he does that way too much," Max agreed. "I've been trying to shut him up for years."
"Great galloping gorgons grabbing Greek gorgonzola!" Sam gasped out. "Max, that little unicorn is talking!"
The filly frowned at Sam. "That little unicorn is the Gweat and Powaful Twixie!" she proclaimed with a pout.
"By all the gods Sam, she's adorable!" Max said happily. "Can we keep her?"
Sam frowned. "I don't know, little buddy. We really shouldn't..."
Trixie turned her face to Max. "Are...are you my Daddy?"
"Hnng..." Sam mumbled, clutching his chest.
Max smiled widely. "I am now," he said, pulling her close into a warm hug.
"Hnng!" Sam said again, sitting down as he clutched his chest in both hands.
Trixie snuggled into Max's embrace. "I...I have a Daddy now," she whispered. She closed her eyes, holding back tears. "I'm home..."
Sam flopped backwards as his tongue flopped out of his mouth, his head lolling back on his neck.
Grinning, Max pulled out a Taser. "Clear!" he shouted, before shooting the electrified probes into Sam's chest.
As Sam flailed convulsively from the electricity shooting through his body, restarting his heart, Trixie smiled. "I think I'll like it here..."
Later that night, Sam rolled over in his bed in their apartment on the first floor of their office building. He glanced at where Max was curled up in his bed, sleeping peacefully. Normally, Max curled up with his gun clutched in his hand, but tonight he held Trixie carefully in his arms. She had left her wizard's hat and robe on a coatrack, though she still clutched her teddy bear.
Sam had tried to question Trixie a bit after Max had restarted his heart. All he'd been able to learn, though, was confirmation of what he'd already guessed: Trixie was an orphan, a unicorn, claimed to be a pony, and had irrefutably imprinted on Max as her Daddy. He'd lost any hope of fighting this situation when she'd called him 'Uncle Sam'.
So now the two of them - a straight laced, gun toting, violence inclined, over enthusiastic cop barely removed from being a violent thug, and a lagomorph - were responsible for raising a magically empowered infant from another dimension....and raising the little girl right.
"God help us all," Sam muttered under his breath.
"God is no match fow the Gweat and Powaful Twixie..." Trixie mumbled in her sleep.
"Make him eat sacrilege, snookums," Max mumbled dreamily, nuzzling Trixie's mane.
"You two crack me up, little buddies," Sam commented, curling up for sleep.
And I'm tracking this cause it's to good a concept to pass up!
Why was the hat just picked up, and not traded for something else?
Well seeing that Bosco's is still open. I'm assuming this takes place during or before season one. So will this include things from the Sam & Max comics and cartoons or will it only be the Telltale games?
I enjoyed your tf2 fic and shall be following this.
5121481 Well put!
5121607
Just the Telltale games. I've never read the comics.
This takes place not long before the start of Season One.
5121662 Well the comics are a bit more violent than the games. Nothing gory mostly black humor.
5121708
The comics are darker than the games?
*Remembers Season 3 Episode 3*
...never reading the comics...
5121713
I found that whole Sam turning dirty cop thing hilarious. But no the comics are more along the two shooting first and asking questions latter.
5121722
...more?
5121753 Basically in the comics Sam loses his temper more often and Max is well... Max
First chapter and I'm already cracking up... this is gunna be awesome!
Sitting back down, the canid began bouncing a wall against a nearby wall
wearing purple pointed hat and cape
Sam flopped backwards as his tongue flopped out of his mouth, his heading lolling back on his neck
1. Canine began bouncing a ball.
2. Wearing A purple pointed hat and cape.
3. Head.
A friend of mine introduced me to this series. And I loved it. Though I only played scant amounts of it, the humor got me quite good. It's a good brain teaser too
...My Little Dashie but with Trixie, plus Sam and Max?
...
THIS IS FREAKING INGENIOUS!
5121713
this story is awesome, good job can't wait to see more
I wonder if Monsieur Papierwaite is going to be interested in this development...
Favo'ed!
Consider this story bookmarked and followed
Holy shit! I can't believe anyone remembers Sam and Max Hit the Road! Man, weren't the early 90's great?
... Oh! Telltale! Oh, I get ... it. Oh. Ohhhhh.
>>tfw you realize you're almost twice as old as the rest of the website
tricitypsychology.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/lonely-old-man.jpg
Forget Telltale, LucasArts 4lyfe
Ooh right, it was you that wrote the Fluttershy TF2 fic.
This one sounds like it'll be even better!
Liked and faved. (Well, shelved. Whatever. This new stuff scares and confuses me.)
5122775
There's also the cartoon series filled with over the top 90's humor, goofiness and fourth wall moments.
5121897
Canid was intentional, used to refer to a canine-like entity that isn't actually a dog. Since Sam walks around on two legs and shoots guns, canid is more accurate than canine.
The rest I will fix.
That was a very good start. I think you did a great job capturing Sam & Max. Looking forwarding to see more!
Damnit, guys..Did they try combining the Hat with the Lagomorph and then combine that with the Filly?
.....If this plays out like My Little Dashie..and a pony comes along to try and take her back?
....
~Poker Night 2, Sam and Max 25th Anniversary Song.
There had better be highway surfing.
I am not a fan of Trixie, but.... damn it all it's too cute to refuse not to read this.
Oh, this is just too awesome for words. You've really got Sam and Max down well. Love it! Will definitely follow this.
I LOVE IT more please
I've never played or watched Sam and Max save for their appearances in Poker Night at the Inventory.
I'm tracking this anyway.
Oh wow, you have perfectly captured Sam and Max, please do more. It's giving me happy flash backs of playing the original game and watching the cartoon when I was a wee lad. Please, keep it up, keep it up!
Given the duo's diet, Trixie is going to get very, very fat.
how could i have not seen that joke coming... in all fairness i kinda expected mama sam... ALSO
HNNG *dies from cute filly trixie about to be raised by sociopaths*
6 stories at once along the lines of fortressshy? One hell of a workload...
When can we expect MORE?!? I am extremely excited to see where this goes, if you couldn't tell by the previous sentence.
I can see it now...
" the royal clusterf*k"
Starring:
Fortresshy
Sparkle and clank
The invincible iron rainbow
God of party
Batmare
Apple may cry
Co-starring
Trixie lulamoon, freelance police
Featuring:
Whatever is left of discord after 6-7 sets of psycopathic parent are done with him after the events of season 4
Thank god, I Thought I Was The Only One.
5121662 Haven't thought of Sam and Max in years! Love the idea of this story!
Have a thumbs up and Tracking!
THE DESU IS RISING!
I call a car seat for the Destso. This is a great idea given the cases of Sam and Max.
Just now noticed this story. All I can say is.... your writing for Sam and Max is spot on! I have been a fan of these guys for YEARS *is 30*, and I usually scoff at most fanfictions of them, especially crossovers. But you, sir, made me think the guys over at Tell Tale were writing this with how authentic if feels. You deserve a fav and thumbs up!
Edit: Granted, most of this is just a direct copy of events (and some dialogue) of Sam and Max: Season 1, but I ain't complaining.
I guess I'll use this to hold me over until Season 4. If Telltale ever gets to it...
Well, now I get were Trixie got her love of explosions...
Annie reference, maybe unintended, but a well-known song is "I Think I'm gonna Like It Here"
YES!!!!!!
Well, I got about five lines into this chapter before deciding that I'm going to spend this long weekend replaying my entire collection of Sam & Max games.
Fun fact: Nearly shortened that to "S&M Games". Hurriedly reconsidered this. Although somehow it seems entirely suitable.
Now to read the rest!
Never played the games. Thevfirst chapter is making me really want to play them, though.
5864655 Silly metal-headed filly! A lagomorph is a rabbit! A bunny! This fellow on the right in particular:
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/65/Sam_%26_Max_3D.png
They're both cops. Sam is the one on the left.
I don't know who these people are, nor do I care. I'm still laughing.
The first chapter . . . excellent. Just like the game, except with Trixie. Looking forward to when we read about Trixie's interaction with Bosco.
5914426 I've never played Sam and Max, but even I know who Sam and Max are.
5871404 And he's no silly filly.