Five nobles sat at a table in the flourishing Canterlot Castle Gardens. If you didn't know that it was October, you’d think it was Spring—flowers stood in full bloom, birds sang from the treetops, and the sun shone brightly, but not harshly, on the garden party. Even though the illusion of Spring came fabricated by the talented mages of Canterlot, it felt real enough to those enjoying it. Despite this, it wasn't all that spectacular to the ponies gossiping in the midst of it, who barely noticed the exotic wildlife or took the time to appreciate the beautiful flora.
As always, the elder mares led the discussion. The stallions and younger mares knew that even if they didn’t let them have their way, they would steer the discussion back to whatever they wanted to say, regardless. To avoid trouble, it was best to just let them be.
A mare in a rather large sun hat questioned the group, “Did you hear?” Tiny spectacles clung to the edge of her muzzle, threatening to fall off with every turn of her head.
“No, what?” the elder’s granddaughter, wearing nothing but a scarf and a pair of stylish sunglasses, replied in a boorish tone.
“The Princess is dating Discord!” the bespectacled mare continued. She glanced around and soaked in the varied reactions.
“Which one?” asked another older mare wearing an even larger hat. Large hats were definitely in fashion again following the giant hat hiatus of the past five months.
“I believe it’s the purple one; the one from Ponyville. At least that’s what I heard. I only know for certain that it isn’t Princess Cadence—she’s married, you know. The Princess of Love would never cheat,” Spectacles answered decisively.
“How so? I think it is her. She’s probably come to her senses. A princess, marrying a common stallion, a soldier no less? Pah! She deserves better—a prince, Marigold,” Large Hat retorted.
“And just where is she supposed to find a prince?” Marigold’s spectacles were treacherously close to falling from her face from all her trembling. Nothing made her angrier than when somepony tried to prove her wrong. “The only Equestrian prince at the moment is Prince Blueblood, and they’re related! She’d have to marry outside the kingdom to accomplish that feat.”
“Well, actually, they aren’t related at all. Princess Celestia, bless her heart, adopted Cadence as her niece. I’m surprised she hasn’t done the same for Twilight…” a stallion, the younger mare’s husband, said wistfully.
“Who?” Marigold asked, confused.
“You know, the purple one from Ponyville. The one who we heard is dating that wretched draconequus,” the stallion replied. He didn’t know why he even tried to make conversation with his grandmother-in-law and her friends. Sometimes it felt like they weren’t even listening.
“Dracone-who?” Large Hat asked, face scrunched up and squinting in the glare of the sun.
“I swear to the stars, Melody— the one who is dating Lord Discord.”
“Ah, I see.” She took a long sip from her tea. “Well, I suppose it’s finally come down to it!”
“And what would that 'it' be?” Marigold asked dubiously.
“Yes, do tell!” The younger mare was suddenly a lot more interested. Even if it were just crazy talk—not that she’d ever tell them—it was certainly entertaining.
“Well,” Melody began, “Princess Purple—”
“Sparkle.” Marigold’s spectacles moved with her sneer.
“Princess Sparkle is obviously looking to seize the throne for herself.” She took another sip of her tea and let her statement settle in.
“Surely you’re joking!” the stallion exclaimed.
“Isn’t she the Princess of Friendship? I don’t think 'seizing power' fits with her modus operandi.”
“Ah, Marigold, ever the skeptic,” Melody muttered crossly. “Look at it this way, she’s young, ambitious! Cadence rules a different country. Princess Celestia and Luna have been around for ages. Maybe she thinks it’s her turn to have control.”
“That still doesn’t—” the young mare tried to put in.
“And wouldn’t gaining powerful allies be the first step in staging a coup? We still haven’t seen the full extent to her ability… would you take a gamble and say that she and Discord could match Celestia and her sister?”
“Well, perhaps, but—” the stallion attempted to add.
“So there we have it! I don’t trust that new Princess. I can feel it in my bones! Something just doesn’t sit right. Now we hear that she’s getting friendly with that monster. Shocking!”
“By Celestia, I think you’re right!” Marigold exclaimed. She stood up suddenly, causing her spectacles to fall into her tea cup with a PLOP. Undeterred, she kept on with her rant. “We have to warn somepony!”
“But who?” The young mare wondered briefly what kind of trouble the elderly mares could get into, but she reasoned the crack pot idea wouldn’t carry on too far. It couldn’t hurt to play along a little. “Princess Celestia?”
“I doubt she’d believe anything you’d say without evidence,” the stallion pointed out. He gave a sideways wink to his wife. “I think we should tell somepony else, somepony who knows how to find cold, hard facts and make sense of things like this.”
They all thought for a moment.
Marigold pushed back from the table and tumbled over her chair. Without skipping a beat, she thrust a hoof up into the air victoriously. “I’ve got it!”
“Quick Snap!” a burly stallion in a dress shirt and tie bellowed. His greasy black mane lay slicked back against his neck in a poor attempt at professionalism. Dark rings underlined his tired eyes. “I got a job for you. Think you’re up for it?”
“Yessir!” Quick Snap bolted from his seat at the junior reporter’s desk, and presented himself like a soldier to a general. A salute to the Editor in Chief only seemed natural. “Whatcha need me for, Mr. Headline, sir?”
“I know you’ve been on princess duty in Ponyville for a while, but we need you to kick it up a notch or two. We’ve got a new story coming up.” Headline stifled a yawn, something he’d gotten very good at. Thoughts of laying down and taking a snooze were tempting, but there was work to be done. In the world of news, time was money, and the more time you spent sleeping meant more money being wasted.
“Not a problem, sir.” Quick Snap’s chipper attitude framed the smile on his face. He didn’t think Twilight would mind at this point. The only reason he still bothered hiding behind the trashcan was because his boss had given him that order: Hide behind the garbage bin and take pictures. “Do you want me to interview her? I could get her thoughts on her new—”
“No, no. This will be an… undercover operation,” Headline said gruffly. Just a few more minutes and he could go home. He needed a vacation—time off to recharge.
“Oh?” Quick Snap’s muzzle quivered with excitement. “Undercover?” That could only mean that this was going to be a big story, and he was going to be a part of it! “What do you want me to do, Boss?”
“I just got a call from a very reliable source that Princess Twilight Sparkle is planning to overthrow the diarchy in cahoots with that rat, Discord. I need you to take as many pictures as possible—around the clock—and report anything suspicious.” He tossed over a rectangular object, which Quick Snap caught on reflex. “I’m also gonna give you this tape recorder, so that you make sure and catch anything important they might say.”
Ears flattened in confusion, Quick Snap let out a squeak. "O-overthrow the Princesses, sir?”
“Don't know." Headline shrugged and shook his head. "Don't care. I just know that this story will make us a good amount of bits. I don’t care what it is—get something our writers can work with.” The paper couldn’t afford another drop in sales. If they didn’t do well with this issue, he would be forced to let some ponies go.
“Okay sir. Got it, sir.” Quick Snap gathered up his things as Headline left the room. This was a big story, alright. If it was true, this job could be really important! Not just for his career, but for the sake of Equestria! He donned his saddle bags, placed his fedora upon his head, and dashed out the door. It was time to make Mr. Headline proud.
Stupid never think about the long term of there actions.
Im rather curious as to why this is part of the story, it feels like a set up for confrontation of sorts but it could just be for moree jokes?
Guess il wait and see
5985178
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Goddamit nobles.
I'm sorry but I'm going to have to stop reading. It was good until the drama was brought in. Sorry, but I was hoping this was going to be a comedy romance without any serious drama. Good luck with your story though
5985311
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Why did you feel the need to make this comment?
Sorry, but I have to agree with a few of the others in the comments.
This story was awesome, until you suddenly involved mind-control magic, Discord being an evil bastard, political agendas and stupid newspapers. I came to enjoy a good comedy/romance with a slight misunderstanding and eventual understanding that might lead to a romance or mutual rejection.
Not saying the story is bad, some will like it, just not what I came for and not my cup of tea. Was a good story for me until now, so therefor you will still have my like, but I won't follow anymore.
5985332
all of that is still true but okay
again, I don't see the need for these comments...
Congratulations, you've made me hate a character in under thirty seconds.
5985355
heh heh I try!
5985332
Sadly have to concur. The story has suddenly shifted in an unfortunate direction and darker tone. Nothing inherently wrong with that and the story remains well-written mechanically, but I think I'm going to move on. Up until today's chapters the tone was lighthearted and (for me) pleasant. Now we've shifted into mind control drug drama seemingly out of nowhere.
It's feedback. Polite and specific feedback at that. Some readers have experienced disappointment with the developments of the latest chapters and are 'vocalizing' it.
If you honestly "don't see the need" or don't want to see them, you may wish to place a "Please only give positive comments" in the Author's Notes of future chapters.
5985336 comments are made for users to post opinions on stories.
My comment was my opinion of the story's sudden shift in nature and theme.
5985447
I get that
So now you drugged Twilight to think she's in love with him?
Sorry, you lost me like the others. That's not how love works. Ever. Even if she did eventually fall in love with him, it wouldn't be a natural progress. It wasn't her choice to fall for him; she just thinks she is. That's bad. Even if it somehow gets better, it had better be darn good because this isn't something to take lightly. Nice try, but nothing else for me to say here.
5985449
I am also in that boat. I came in here for a nice romance, not random mind-control and random potions that were never mentioned or foreshadowed until now.
Now we got a plot that will bog the story down, extra plot that isn't needed at all as well as a crazy Celestia.
I'm also out. Thought that this story would be different. As a tip for next time, the conflict in romance and relationships is the struggle of relationship dynamics within itself and not outside sources.
Discord's personality and quirks conflicting and contrasting Twilight's own oddities is great for a romcom. You don't need potions or misunderstanding ponies that think she will overthrow the crown.
Geez, the CMC love-poison people in a canon episode and it's all a good laugh, but do it in a romantic comedy fanfic and suddenly that's going too far!
5985592 that's a pretty poor comparison.
This can't be good. Let's hope Discord and Luna try and take care of things before the situation blows out of proportion. The part with Melody not listening was funny.
5985609 Beyond the slight difference in character motivations it seems reasonably equivalent.
5985739 they were silly kids trying to do something good, even if it was terribly misguided.
Discord slipped Twilight a roofie.
5985754
No, it wasn't like that ;m;
Hopefully I can explain it better in the next chapters...
5985592
thank you
5985754 *shrug* Harm wasn't intended in either case; yet in either case the actions are still grossly unethical. I'm amused that one is somehow 'okay'/'funny' and one isn't.
They're both creepy as hell, when you think about it.
5985855
Hopefully you'll stick around long enough to see
Like, he definitely fucked up. No question there what-so-ever. But he didn't have malicious intent. He's still on the road to understanding how things work...
5985801
ya, for sure .-.
I'll give it another chapter or two but I have to say I'm leaning towards dropping due to the whole "suddenly mind control" thing as well.
Before that came up it seemed to be well written with Twilight ACTUALLY starting to like him, or at least beginning to believe his feelings were legit and not just some sort of set up for a prank.
Yeesh this is getting a lot of backlash.
I personally loved the direction it went in. I don't see Discords actions as malicious. He's just horribly naive to the point of actually thinking doing something like this is okay . After today's episode when he tried to send Fluttershy's new friend to a different dimension just because he was jealous I really wouldn't put something like this past him.
And...now they're going to try to get Twilight caught for trying to overthrow the princesses....Great.
5985899 Not Quite MIND CONTROL, more like 'Mental influence getting OUT of control.'
5985989
//Shrugs// I just used Shmoop's Shakespearian translator 030
Nothing defuses potential issues quite like elitist speculation and a dishonest media.
Oh, uh, wow. There s no way this is gonna end well, is there?
And not the Twicord. I'm sure that'll all work out in the end.
But what kind of tea are these old ponies even drinking to pump out crack-pot conspiracy theories that fast!?
sad thing is this is a pretty accurate description of the media (in Australia at least)
5985311
>>romance/comedy
>>without drama
okay then
I think you might clear up a lot of confusion if you change the slice of life tag to adventure. it is definitlya better fit and it might help give people a better idea of what to expect.
Quick Snap and Headline.
They were told they would be executed if they didn't stop this article.
R.I.P.
5986624
Well, I never said Twilight thought of her as a mom.
5986854
Why didn't I do that in the first place?
5986811
Thank you!
...
......
............
...Excuse me while I headdesk so hard I crack a rift in the earth's crust. Damn nobles, damn sensationalist media, damn idiots, damn dammity damn.
I don't see a sad or tragedy tag so here's hopin this turns out well in the end.
5987888
5985336 He gave you clear, polite, and actionable feedback to help you improve as a writer which is something most authors appreciate. I was going to leave a similar comment and watch this story for a few more chapters to see if you found a convincing way to fix things, but after seeing your poor response to constructive criticism I am just going to give this story a thumbs down and forget about it.
5985592 There are a few key differences to consider. The biggest is that the CMC were trying to get others together because they thought that would be good for them while Discord did what he did because he wanted Twilight and didn't care about her feelings. The other is that the potion the CMC cooked up just made them obsessed about each other and was relatively easy to break while Discord's approach is apparently nearly unbreakable and makes the pony it affects homicidal.
Also, the CMC love poison was screwed up and that was very much acknowledged in the episode and is generally accepted around here.
5986484 And you are still better off than American media. They strait up invent lies to draw attention to themselves, people actually listen to their bullshit and believe their lies, and no one ever does anything about it even when it quite literally causes riots.
5988298 Neither Discord nor the CMC acted with malice aforethought. AFAICT Discord did it because he didn't think Twilight would give him a fair chance otherwise; which is stupid and wrong, but then so is slipping your teacher and your older brother a mickey love poison. The CMC just lucked out with theirs because hey, kids' TV show.
5988298
I took it the wrong way when I first read it, like a "Change it so I like it."
5988365 True, but Discord was still doing it because he wanted Twilight even if he did think it would be good for her, and that kind of selfish thinking and assuming he knows what is best for Twilight gives his actions a much darker tone than the CMC's. This is also influenced by the fact that Discord is an adult (even if he is not the most mature individual out there) while the CMC are kids and the fact that the CMC did it in a kids TV show means we knew it could not get really nasty there.
5987749
I can easily see how you might have missed it. Especially if you weren't orignally planning to do this magical hex arc when you first made the story.
Also, Im always up for some magical shenanigans so im not going anywhere
5988454
//hugs// thank u
Yeah, I'm out as well, these last few developments are not what I signed on for. Twilight getting whammied into loving someone against her will is not the same thing as romance, and it really isn't something that can develop into romance either.
5988298 I see your american media, and raise you one Rupert Murdoch.
5988774
She isn't in love with him against her will.
That's the point.