• Published 22nd Oct 2014
  • 13,090 Views, 424 Comments

But you can't be interested in HIM! - Flowey the Flower



With Discord's obvious advances on the new Princess in town, everypony is a little unsettled. Some more than others.

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Meanwhile...

Author's Note:

Here's what's been happening throughout the day! News travels fast in Equestria... and they don't even have phones yet!

Five nobles sat at a table in the flourishing Canterlot Castle Gardens. If you didn't know that it was October, you’d think it was Spring—flowers stood in full bloom, birds sang from the treetops, and the sun shone brightly, but not harshly, on the garden party. Even though the illusion of Spring came fabricated by the talented mages of Canterlot, it felt real enough to those enjoying it. Despite this, it wasn't all that spectacular to the ponies gossiping in the midst of it, who barely noticed the exotic wildlife or took the time to appreciate the beautiful flora.

As always, the elder mares led the discussion. The stallions and younger mares knew that even if they didn’t let them have their way, they would steer the discussion back to whatever they wanted to say, regardless. To avoid trouble, it was best to just let them be.

A mare in a rather large sun hat questioned the group, “Did you hear?” Tiny spectacles clung to the edge of her muzzle, threatening to fall off with every turn of her head.

“No, what?” the elder’s granddaughter, wearing nothing but a scarf and a pair of stylish sunglasses, replied in a boorish tone.

“The Princess is dating Discord!” the bespectacled mare continued. She glanced around and soaked in the varied reactions.

“Which one?” asked another older mare wearing an even larger hat. Large hats were definitely in fashion again following the giant hat hiatus of the past five months.

“I believe it’s the purple one; the one from Ponyville. At least that’s what I heard. I only know for certain that it isn’t Princess Cadence—she’s married, you know. The Princess of Love would never cheat,” Spectacles answered decisively.

“How so? I think it is her. She’s probably come to her senses. A princess, marrying a common stallion, a soldier no less? Pah! She deserves better—a prince, Marigold,” Large Hat retorted.

“And just where is she supposed to find a prince?” Marigold’s spectacles were treacherously close to falling from her face from all her trembling. Nothing made her angrier than when somepony tried to prove her wrong. “The only Equestrian prince at the moment is Prince Blueblood, and they’re related! She’d have to marry outside the kingdom to accomplish that feat.”

“Well, actually, they aren’t related at all. Princess Celestia, bless her heart, adopted Cadence as her niece. I’m surprised she hasn’t done the same for Twilight…” a stallion, the younger mare’s husband, said wistfully.

“Who?” Marigold asked, confused.

“You know, the purple one from Ponyville. The one who we heard is dating that wretched draconequus,” the stallion replied. He didn’t know why he even tried to make conversation with his grandmother-in-law and her friends. Sometimes it felt like they weren’t even listening.

“Dracone-who?” Large Hat asked, face scrunched up and squinting in the glare of the sun.

“I swear to the stars, Melody— the one who is dating Lord Discord.”

“Ah, I see.” She took a long sip from her tea. “Well, I suppose it’s finally come down to it!”

“And what would that 'it' be?” Marigold asked dubiously.

“Yes, do tell!” The younger mare was suddenly a lot more interested. Even if it were just crazy talk—not that she’d ever tell them—it was certainly entertaining.

“Well,” Melody began, “Princess Purple—”

“Sparkle.” Marigold’s spectacles moved with her sneer.

“Princess Sparkle is obviously looking to seize the throne for herself.” She took another sip of her tea and let her statement settle in.

“Surely you’re joking!” the stallion exclaimed.

“Isn’t she the Princess of Friendship? I don’t think 'seizing power' fits with her modus operandi.”

“Ah, Marigold, ever the skeptic,” Melody muttered crossly. “Look at it this way, she’s young, ambitious! Cadence rules a different country. Princess Celestia and Luna have been around for ages. Maybe she thinks it’s her turn to have control.”

“That still doesn’t—” the young mare tried to put in.

“And wouldn’t gaining powerful allies be the first step in staging a coup? We still haven’t seen the full extent to her ability… would you take a gamble and say that she and Discord could match Celestia and her sister?”

“Well, perhaps, but—” the stallion attempted to add.

“So there we have it! I don’t trust that new Princess. I can feel it in my bones! Something just doesn’t sit right. Now we hear that she’s getting friendly with that monster. Shocking!”

“By Celestia, I think you’re right!” Marigold exclaimed. She stood up suddenly, causing her spectacles to fall into her tea cup with a PLOP. Undeterred, she kept on with her rant. “We have to warn somepony!”

“But who?” The young mare wondered briefly what kind of trouble the elderly mares could get into, but she reasoned the crack pot idea wouldn’t carry on too far. It couldn’t hurt to play along a little. “Princess Celestia?”

“I doubt she’d believe anything you’d say without evidence,” the stallion pointed out. He gave a sideways wink to his wife. “I think we should tell somepony else, somepony who knows how to find cold, hard facts and make sense of things like this.”

They all thought for a moment.

Marigold pushed back from the table and tumbled over her chair. Without skipping a beat, she thrust a hoof up into the air victoriously. “I’ve got it!”


“Quick Snap!” a burly stallion in a dress shirt and tie bellowed. His greasy black mane lay slicked back against his neck in a poor attempt at professionalism. Dark rings underlined his tired eyes. “I got a job for you. Think you’re up for it?”

“Yessir!” Quick Snap bolted from his seat at the junior reporter’s desk, and presented himself like a soldier to a general. A salute to the Editor in Chief only seemed natural. “Whatcha need me for, Mr. Headline, sir?”

“I know you’ve been on princess duty in Ponyville for a while, but we need you to kick it up a notch or two. We’ve got a new story coming up.” Headline stifled a yawn, something he’d gotten very good at. Thoughts of laying down and taking a snooze were tempting, but there was work to be done. In the world of news, time was money, and the more time you spent sleeping meant more money being wasted.

“Not a problem, sir.” Quick Snap’s chipper attitude framed the smile on his face. He didn’t think Twilight would mind at this point. The only reason he still bothered hiding behind the trashcan was because his boss had given him that order: Hide behind the garbage bin and take pictures. “Do you want me to interview her? I could get her thoughts on her new—”

“No, no. This will be an… undercover operation,” Headline said gruffly. Just a few more minutes and he could go home. He needed a vacation—time off to recharge.

“Oh?” Quick Snap’s muzzle quivered with excitement. “Undercover?” That could only mean that this was going to be a big story, and he was going to be a part of it! “What do you want me to do, Boss?”

“I just got a call from a very reliable source that Princess Twilight Sparkle is planning to overthrow the diarchy in cahoots with that rat, Discord. I need you to take as many pictures as possible—around the clock—and report anything suspicious.” He tossed over a rectangular object, which Quick Snap caught on reflex. “I’m also gonna give you this tape recorder, so that you make sure and catch anything important they might say.”

Ears flattened in confusion, Quick Snap let out a squeak. "O-overthrow the Princesses, sir?”

“Don't know." Headline shrugged and shook his head. "Don't care. I just know that this story will make us a good amount of bits. I don’t care what it is—get something our writers can work with.” The paper couldn’t afford another drop in sales. If they didn’t do well with this issue, he would be forced to let some ponies go.

“Okay sir. Got it, sir.” Quick Snap gathered up his things as Headline left the room. This was a big story, alright. If it was true, this job could be really important! Not just for his career, but for the sake of Equestria! He donned his saddle bags, placed his fedora upon his head, and dashed out the door. It was time to make Mr. Headline proud.