I just wanted to go home and watch tv...

Sound like someone don't wan't to get out the house.

I promise i will give ponies soon. But first, INTRODUCTION.

The i should be capitalized.

I read this chapter once and found that one spelling mistake. I read it again and found these.

We glimpse through the fog of war, sounds of battle ranging on and the tears of angels falling across those who were among the living.

You accidentally put two spaces between these words.

One man who was clutching a shortsword and shield was sweating and breathing heavy as the battle took its toll on his body, but was still full of enough vim, vigor and will to finish the fight.

Heavy should be heavily. You forgot the comma after vigor.

The same could not be said for the other however, as this man wearing a crown and was holding both a long sword and a Dirk.

Dirk needn't be capitalized in this case.

Just how far into insanity has has this once proud warrior fallen?

This mistake will leave you seeing double.

Unless it was a half day and I was home playing games on the computer, I was usually at the last class of the day, which was Theatre.

Theatre needn't be capitalized.

And what better way to introduce a someone then to see how they act firsthand... fuck, I tried to do an introduction and I didn't even "introduct" myself.

The a is unneeded.

I am about average in everything that it a part of the normal curriculum in school (except economics.I suck at that). I have a couple good friends ant school, but it took a while to actually figure out how to make friends.

This spelling mistake is really bugging me.

In fact, when I first went to the school in my freshmen year, I thought I would try to make friends with some of the cool gangsters dudes at lunch.

It doesn't need that s there, but the s could just be trying get with the in crowd.

EDIT:
And I accidentally clicked post... Here are the last of the spelling mistakes.

Well that kinds happened, and it inspired me to just walked up there In the most civilized way possible.

Kinds should be kinda. Walked should be walk.

I didn't at the time, and because if this, they kicked my ass and gave me 4 black eye.

Eye should be eyes.

I wasn't that far into it, but I'm pretty good, I guess. I'm like a belt before Brown, so I know how to break something if someone messes with me.

I wasn't should be I'm not.

But going back to what lead to this long rant , I was a very bored thespian at my high school's drama club.

You accidentally put a space between rant and the comma.

He loved me because when I play a character, I play it Damn near perfectly.

This sentence was done damn near perfectly. The damn didn't need capitalized.

True I go against the script, but that's only for rehearsal and when I'm not performing for an audience.

Needs a comma after the true.

he could retort however, the bell rang, which signifies a bank robbery.

You need to put a before before the he.

As my classmates was filing out either to celebrate graduating or to pray as the situation call, Mr. Akers told me to stay after class for a couple minutes.

Was Should be were. You need an an s on the end of call.

I make help make art, and I am happy with that.

This sentence could be improved if you make help make that make go away.

I am also a husband and a father two kids, and I am happy.

You need an of between father and two.

know it might be weird, but those Technicolored ponies have always had a good effect on me.

Technicolor needn't be capitalized.

I don't really mind if is a show for little girls, since girls watch boy shows all the time.

You need an it between if and is, or you could change is to it's.

you're excused Edgar.

You're needs capitalized.

As I am in the woods, driving home from school in my 2007 black mustang... (okay, it's my dad's mustang, but I use it all the time.

The thought are car names capitalized ran through my head so I looked it up. Mustang needs capitalized since you're talking about the car and not the animal.

Sure I was moderately active, but I was always on the computer either watching a little girls show or looking up memes, and I never done anything worthwhile.

I should be I've.

I never went to prom, I never had a girlfriend who didn't last for at least a month, and I never had anything close to a job, really.

I should be I've. This second one may or may not be a mistake. If you've had every girlfriend last at least a month that's a good thing and probably doesn't belong in the list of shortcomings in your character's life. However, If you've never had a girlfriend last more than a month that would belong on the list of shortcomings and make that a spelling mistake.

I didn't get much time to think about this because one moment I driving on the black roads of Minnesota, but then the whole sky turned dark a little too sudden.

You need a was between I and driving.

But that wasn't the important part.

You need a comma after but.

On one side in front of the caravan was a...no fucking way.

This is your last chance. After this there is no turning back. You take the blue pill and get rid of on one side and your story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want. You take the red pill and get rid of in front of and stay in wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember All I'm offering is the truth nothing more.
TLDR; Long drawn out matrix reference. Choose to get rid of on one side or in front of to fix the mistake.

There was a small unicorn with a cerulean coat and white hair( or mane, I guess) with baby blue stripes in it.

The space is on the wrong side of the parenthesis.

Her horn was currently glowing, and jets of fire are currently coming out it and is spewing right at...

This is is unnecessary.

Partly because what I am seeing is make believe and should not be happening right now, but mostly because I am about to crash into the Dragon I was just taking about at 40mph.

Dragon needn't be capitalized. Taking should be talking.

Well this story is pretty good if you can ignore the spelling mistakes. Proofread your chapters, or get someone to do it for you, and you will have a far smoother and easier to read story.

EDIT 2: I just realized I spent two hours and twenty minutes (roughly) correcting spelling mistakes in one chapter of your story and it is now three in the morning. That's a lot of spelling mistakes.

5328143 yea, my kindle is very fickle when it comes to shit like that. I tried setting it so that it does not capitalize dragon, but it still does. I have to manually switch it. At times, it would delete words that I'm typing, too.

As for a proofreader, I tried to get them to do it, but they turned out to be a troll and deleted my entire chapter. I managed to retype everything, but I didn't like it.

Thx for pointing all that stuff out though. I will fix it right away.

Loved the reference by the way

I love the beginning. My English class has to make a Macbeth Trailer during break, their outta be a couple of hilarious ones when their all up on Youtube since, as long as it follows the Macbeth play, you can make it however you want (One year a group made it a type of Gangster Macbeth)

As a black person I found this funny.

"What's up , mah niggas? What's shaking? What's the word on the street, homie g?"I spoke while giving the most gangsta hand movements I could.

...

***end flashback***

Needless to say, they weren't very impressed. Did you know that you can't say nigga if you weren't a black? I didn't at the time, and because if this, they kicked my ass and gave me four black eyes. Yes, you read that right. Don't think to hard about that, because I don't even know how they did It. Seniors are scary, man.

This happened to me today in reverse actually. I'm on the train going to school sitting with some freshman friends (as a senior) and the new kid to the group (an Asian kid) is asking questions and he asks me "WHY I AM BLACK?"... I honestly didn't think people were that dumb. All the conversations end (* que record scratch*) and I turn to look at and tell him that is the dumbest thing I have heard in a while, and I know some idiots. My follow ups as follows
"hrm I don't know l, my mother is black and my father is black... I'm not sure."
"I could check with my family tree and see all the black people there and wonder."
Last one was "Why are you Asian? Did you decide to be? Or were you born that way?"

Ram that scaley motherfucker!!!!