Tea Time
Sweetie Belle rarely had guests join her for tea time. Her parents were usually out of town, her sister was busy, and her friends thought it was all too foalish, even when Sweetie didn’t invite any of her dolls. Today, however, she had a very special guest. No, not a friend guilted into joining her. Not Discord playing along just to annoy Rarity. Not even Button Mash tied to the chair (which she’d only done three times and always apologized after, so she didn’t see what the big deal was).
No, today she was hosting Mr. ████████, who was just passing through the realm of fleeting mortal existence when he was held up in Ponyville briefly. Of course, ████████ wasn’t his real name, but his true name couldn’t be spoken in Equestrian, and pronouncing those unspeakable syllables in his own twisted and alien language would shatter the barriers between worlds, granting untold and unknowable horrors access to Equestria, and destroying the minds of any pony unfortunate enough to hear them.
She should know. She’d tried when Rarity came in and demanded to know who Sweetie was talking to.
Her big sister was still lying in the doorway, convulsing and gibbering nonsense about the all-consuming darkness that slept beyond the ends of time.
And Sweetie had only made it through the first two syllables!
“Are you sure she’ll be okay, Mr. ████████?” Sweetie asked as she poured him another cup of tea.
████████ took the cup in one of his infinite tentacles which stretched impossibly into the endless gap between worlds in which his corporeal form dwelt, an unknowable number of his countless eyes glancing towards the twitching white unicorn on the floor. He opened the nearest few of his billion mouths in reply, but did not answer with words. Indeed, his speech produced not sound, but the absolute absence thereof, as though reality itself were recoiling aghast at the very idea of his maddening words. And still the silence itself foretold such terrible catastrophe that within would be heard the screams of entire worlds dying, a swan song for the very notion of life itself.
“Oh, okay then,” Sweetie answered, preparing a new cup for herself. “I guess she does do something like this on a pretty regular basis, after all. Last week, Opal clawed up her maroon fabric and Rarity was having a fit. So I suggested she just use the burgundy instead, and she went into hysterics for an hour."
Something like what a mortal being would call a chuckle escaped ████████, and the unspeakable sound reverberated through all of time and space, carrying with it the promise of oblivion. In every corner of every possible world, the living heard it and felt a sudden subtle dread as they realized how feeble and transient their own existences were. When he spoke again, his words would echo, incomprehensible, through the nightmares of everything that had ever lived.
“Aw, I didn’t know you liked cats, Mr. ████████! But yeah, they can be a hoofful.” Sweetie Belle shook her head and smiled. “If you even knew all of the things Opal got into. I’d love to introduce you, but she’s been hiding under the dresser ever since you got here.”
Sweetie ducked down to look under the dresser.
“Yep,” she said as she sat back up. “Still there. And you’re sure that being stuck in a rictus of silent screaming horror for an hour won’t cause permanent harm to a cat, right?”
████████’s wordless response was swallowed by the yawning abyss that he dwelled within, along with all of the hopes and dreams of mortal life. Every living thing felt a chill of inescapable futility at his words.
“Yeah, you’re probably right. You have a lot more experience with mortal terror than me, after all.” Sweetie took another sip of her tea. “And if she doesn’t go back to normal, I’ll just ask Fluttershy about it. Anyway, how is your tea?”
████████ held out his cup, which Sweetie obligingly refilled, and then answered, his words cracking the very firmament of reality itself and producing a noise as though the entire world were made of glass, and all shattered at once.
“Aw, thank you!” Sweetie Belle smiled at the compliment. “Most of my friends think it’s too plain, but that’s just because they’re used to having too much sugar in it. You have good taste, Mr. ████████. Do you think you’ll be able to stay long enough to back me up when I tell my friends they drink it wrong?”
His countless appendages swayed in a manner that might have expressed a noncommittal answer from a being restrained to a mere four dimensions of existence. In ████████’s case, the patterns and strange geometries produced by even such a minor gesture created an entirely new fundamental language of reality, which students of the arcane would have gladly given up their sanity or lives to glimpse for even an instant, let alone study. And abandon those things they would, as the impossible knowledge would consume them utterly before they could even process the thought.
“Oh, that’s too bad.” Sweetie Belle’s ears folded back slightly as her face fell. But then she caught sight of the concern in ████████’s numberless eyes and forced herself to perk up again. “Aw, it’s okay! I wouldn’t want to hold you over. After all, that whole ‘confluence of worlds’ thing sounds really important. You shouldn’t be late to a once-an-aeon event like that.”
████████’s mouths formed what mortal beings would recognize as smiles, if his impossible visage hadn’t shattered their minds beyond such rational thoughts upon seeing him.
“Just, one little thing,” Sweetie said as she leaned in to give him the cutest look she could manage. “When you do that whole ‘snuffing out the light of every star’ thing, would you mind leaving ours alone? I don’t mean to tell you how to do your job or anything, but Princess Celestia is really nice, and I’d hate for her to lose the thing she got her cutie mark in.”
████████ waved his countless tentacles in a way that would have been seen as reassuring if they didn’t fill the mind and soul together with unrelenting terror. His parting words sent shudders through all those unfortunate enough to dwell on a plane that intersected his own unfathomable dimension as they felt a certainty that all of their deepest fears were about to come to life, only for that indescribable horror to suddenly vanish with his departure. And even in his absence, they would not find peace, now haunted by the void in their souls once filled with the terror of mortality.
Sweetie Belle smiled as she waved at the shrinking crevasse between worlds. “He was nice. I hope he can come back sometime.”
She slipped from her chair and trotted over towards the dresser. “Opal! You can come out now! The guests are gone!”
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Awesome story
I miss your old avatar, although this one is also unbelievably adorable.
Also, I can't believe that nobody's commented here before. It's inconceivable.
heh, I like this.
5076571
I love witchy Sweetie, and I'll probably switch back (after Halloween, at the very least), but I saw PokéSweetie on cheezburger and couldn't resist the adorable.
Ahh, yes, it's like Sprited Away but with ponies. Except with quite a few other changes, but who needs to know about those?
I like it.
I love how after I read this there's just a grocery ad about carrots
All powerful, reality-bending, mind-raping horror from beyond? Pinkie! Stop breaking reality! It's there for a reason!
I appreciate that I'm not the only one whose headcanon reads similar to, "Sweetie Belle violates every known law of space, time, and reality with how cute she is, and is absolutely unaware of it at all times."
Aww, such a nice ████████
I totally ship them now.
5076835 and she is my waifu
This would be the fifth tale of Creatures of Unimaginable Sliminess coming to Equestria to make friends story I've read to date. Strangely enough, two of them were Pinkie Pie. You know, that gives me a rather entertaining idea, as "UnCLe PiE" is 8 letters long....
And why do I have this eerie feeling?
Why hasn't Sweetie Belle earned her cutie mark in shattering the many dimensions and warping the very fabric of reality yet?
And by the way, is Rarity okay? Or is she still speaking in tongues?
I call him Steve.
Nice little story, now I have a question.
How do you do the effect with the name?
Sweetie Belle's so adorable that not even omnipotent beings from the other dimensions can bring themselves to harm her.
I mean, seriously.
Who would hurt this?
th07.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2013/039/9/4/sweetiebelle_cute__by_vendetatj-d5u9p6l.png
5077776 I could easily harm that. But then again, I'm not really constrained by these fickle things you call concepts.
5077768
It's a unicode Full Block. Hold Alt and hit 219 on your numeric keypad. I don't think it works using the number row along the top of most keyboards without changing some settings.
I learned it by reading a lot of stuff on the SCP Foundation.
Don't we all ████████? Don't we all.
5077902 hm... you mean like th██? hey it wo██! s███t! t███ you!
5077512
Here you go.
And this is what I wrote instead of working on my next oneshot entry. Mainly because writing clop with a toddler running around the room is really, really awkward.
5077145 reported to the FBI, you pedo
enjoy your prison cell :^)
It's nice to see someone writing a proper story that actually understands that beings from the Space Between Worlds That Is Not enjoy a good cup of tea.
And that like anyentity, not tea will not do. Two...you call them thumbs, right? Thumbs up.
████████ is best character.
Is that Hermaeus Mora?
5078511 mmmk i'll meet ya there
5079039
It is in the art, but not in the story. Hermaeus Mora would have been less interested in tea and cats, and more interested in the corruption of all that is good and pure.
5077776 A complete monster.
5077512
She already has. However, the mortal mind denies it so that the Sweetie Sign does not erode their sanity into so much mental mush.
Hoofful.
5079698
The very fabric of reality is being torn asunder, and this is the sort of problem you fixate on?
Also, fixed.
5079729
yes
33.media.tumblr.com/cd2c4284dc2d79d4e9e83c3064f110d7/tumblr_n8hai1IA101qb5gkjo1_250.gif
5079039 My thoughts exactly
I might have nightmare's
still nice story
I took to calling him Mr Blank. He seems like a nice sort of Eldritch Horror. Wonder if he would like a cup of joe?
5079106 don't be silly, they don't bother with petty criminals l
my years of jaywalking will NEVER catch up with me!
That's a shame, I much prefer Slaanesh, but Tzeentch is good too.
Power to the Dark Eldar, because their lore is cool, and they created a god.
From what i can tell sweetie is
A: a fearless mortal capable of infinite knowledge.
B: a complet, total utter moron thats incapable feeling fear or understanding logic in any way or form due to her sheer stupidity.
C: insane
D: a filly blessed with the power of speaking to immortal beings of infinite power.
5081233 what about ur lusting for ponies? o3o
5081511 I vote b.
5081511
I myself enjoys A myself, in fact I say a combo of A and B.
I mean, look what she does with the CMC.
I guess it was Hastur. Sweetie looks like a pony who'd accidentally summon him...
Gi-Hoveg? I'm throwing it in 'cause no one's said it, really ...
How are you able to type ████████?
5078909 How are you able to type ████████?
5079039 Who is Hermaeus Mora?
5079151 Who is Hermaeus Mora?
5084700 5084702
I explained that one earlier: 5077902
5084705 5084708
Hermaeus Mora is a daedric prince from the Elder Scrolls series. Basically, think of him as the demon lord of forbidden knowledge. He appears as a big ball of eyes and tentacles.
His name kept coming up because, for a while, this story had cover art I'd made by combining a picture of Sweetie Belle at a tea party with a drawing of Hermaeus Mora, but JinZhan, the original artist of the Sweetie Belle picture, asked me to take the edit down.
5081511
or E) All of the above.