• Member Since 14th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 18th, 2023

PhoKingAzn


Names Jonathan Chung Nguyen

T
Source

[One Shot]
Changelings are low creatures.
They copy a host and assume their victim's lives.
After the canterlot wedding, the queen of changelings sent her finest
Changeling to bring chaos to Ponyville
This is the misadventure of a changeling in Ponyville
[Tags: confusing, deception, love, sex, and magic]

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 12 )

"Have you seen Fluttershy today", asked Rainbowdash towards Twilight.
"I haven't seen her today ever since we got off the train", says Twilight concernedly.
"Huh she must be putting her choir birds back", replies Rainbowdash.

....
So forced.
It burns my eyes.

I like it when the same expression is used so many times. It gives that pulsating action. But again, show not tell! "Stay close, don't touch" the plot line as I like to call it. :yay::moustache:

An interesting premise but so many bad errors and pacing.

Egads, did you type this thing up in an hour or something?

Yeesh. It's not like you win any awards for writing the first changeling fic (and it's probably not even the very first on the internet anyway).

482490
indeed two hours to be exact, last night was fucking hot in california, so i guess i slipped a bit. I'm going to change it now :rainbowdetermined2:

This fanfic contains some rather extreme sexuality scenes and moments. Do you really think it is appropriate to file this under "Everyone"?!

483085
now that i read it, i must of been mindless last night

Hey,

It's just not very good, from my point of view. The position of the paragraph breaks doesn't make sense to me, which makes it hard going.

Yours,

JMH

nice job. It felt a bit fast paced, though.

For people reading this now: Don't take it seriously! :rainbowlaugh:

I like how you say "Green souless eyes" at the end of every single thing.

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