For the past year or so, Vinyl Scratch has been the star acquisition of the Onyx Pit nightclub, and every Friday, ponies from all over come to jump to her beats. Recently, though, she's been having trouble with creating anything, and her best friend Strobe Light worries about her. When she reveals that she's feeling uninspired, he tells her to listen to some music she's never heard anything like before, and so she finds herself at a concert. A single performer gives her the inspiration she desires, and possibly something more...
Chapters (3)
You sir have made a dangerous decision of pairing Romance with Everyone.
5066128 Good point. It's probably more appropriate as a Teen story. As for the story itself, how was it?
5066183
Many stories that I've read with OctaScratch and Romance will need teen at least. You can't get the emotion and description with Everyone that you can with Teen. But right now all I know is the basis of the characters and where they are, it's a good start. I would go more in depth or less with the changeling, I'm more interested in what his story is then with Vinyl's and Octavia's. Be more descriptive in your club scenes, I know your more focused on Vinyl but that's all I see. I don't feel like I'm there, practically watching it like a TV show. That's how you should be when you describe a scene, I want to be able to picture and feel like I'm watching it when I read the chapter.
I'll see where this is going, it's got a start and it seems pretty good. Don't rush yourself when writing, have snippets of things like, comedy, romance, action, things that keep the reader interested and not just plain plot. Keep the chapters over about fifteen hundred words, if you surpass that it'll give you a good amount of room to let characters develop and let the reader become more interested in it. Anyways, if you need any help with anything I'd be happy to do so.
Till the next one
-R
5066246
You've probably guessed it already, but I've never been to a nightclub. Still, I'll keep it in mind, and I've already got backstories worked out for all the principals, so you don't need to worry about Strobe's development.
So far, loving the story, I cannot wait to hear more about this! I love the idea of the changing strobe, it's really nice to see them treated well after the 'incident' with their queen :-)
Keep up the good work and again, can't wait for the next part ^^
Still reading i am.
I'll be looking forward to the future chapters.
Still here mate, and still reading. Can't wait for the next chapters.