A young, blue maned unicorn stallion living an honest life turns murderer as he takes a life to save his childhood friend from harm, now at the mercy of Princess Celestia he awaits judgement.
This is my first written fanfic for MLP, so constructive criticism and advice would be greatly appreciated as I do not know how I'm doing with this... this story may also contain some non-canon additions, as in Ponyville has local guards as an example, just a warning.
Slowly coming out of my writing hiatus.
Chapters (3)
congrats on your first story
5060007
Much appreciated haha
5061566 Its cool man I am following you because I have a feeling about this story.
5061569
Glad to see somebody is interested in the story... personally I wasn't really expecting for this to be noticed at all haha 
Oh, well I appreciate that even more
But I appreciate that, really.
So far so good. Your hook right at the beginning got me interested, and I like how your wrote Hollow. You made him a very sympathetic character, even if we as readers might find his actions morally questionable. To be honest, I can't think of any way that this needs to be improved, so great job on that. I am looking forward to seeing where this goes.
5062589
Glad to hear that, and yeah that was my intention to make his actions seem as you said morally questionable; all will be explained in later chapters hopefully though - like why he reacted the way he did among other things
But yes, many thanks haha
OK, even after I've had four shots of the deliciousness that is Jack Daniels, I can still spot grammar errors a mile off. I love the premise, you get my upvote and favourite for that.
You could've done to expand on more detail in a few places too.
Before you publish the next chapter, flick me a PM and if it's in a gdoc then I'll critique/edit for you.
Go on...
Is the last two-thirds of this supposed to be in italics?
5350456
Oh, damn, thanks for pointing that out, didn't notice that.
(Fixed now)
More and longer chapters, you son of a bitch!
More!
No one expects the changeling inquisition!
I'll track for now, I want to see where this goes.
Although, I'm super easy to please
I'll track this for now.
6436454
Oh god, you did NOT just make that joke.
6438092
I'd say it's more of a pop-culture reference than a joke, since I'm not laughing.
This plot twist completely changes my expectations of what kind of story this is going to be. At the beginning, I thought the story was selling itself as a mental health and criminal justice drama. Now it's threatening to turn into an extended chase scene with an overarching conspiracy.
I'll keep reading, but inconsistent tone can really weaken a good story.
Im calling schizophrenia