Vinyl Scratch rose with the sun at her back, facing the wall in the corner of the room where her bed lay. The familiar warmth of Octavia beside her was absent this morning, but this wasn't a rare occurrence; Vinyl tended to sleep late into the day. She thought no more of it and instead decided to drag herself out of bed and to the kitchen to make her morning cup of bitter coffee. Octavia's apartment, while large and intimidating at first, had grown on Vinyl of late. It began to feel like home to her as much as her own unkempt abode. While setting herself down in the sitting room she noticed a folded note on the coffee table. She ignored it at first, instead focusing on eating her breakfast, but as she went to raise the day's newspaper towards her she realised that the note was addressed to her. It said "To my Vinyl". The white unicorn set aside her bowl and coffee mug; intrigued by the note. As she unfolded it she seen that the note was more substantial than she had previously thought, so she decided to read it immediately.
To my Vinyl,
I didn't want to say this through an impersonal letter, but as I thought it over I realised that this was the only way I could say what I'm about to say.
I don't think I can continue with this relationship. I don't know why, but I don't feel as if I can be with you anymore, I just don't. It's not for the reasons I thought we'd have problems initially; about me and you being almost entirely diametrically opposed. It's not because you and I are so different. Indeed, I do believe that was one of the more exciting aspects of our relationship. It's nothing shallow, either. You are beautiful, and I know that, and you should too.
Instead it's something different, something more. Before all I held was love for you, but the love has faded, obscured by other feelings. I used to look into your eyes, your beautiful eyes, and be take aback. I used to feel that when we were together there was nothing else in the world; nothing but you and me. But now, when I look into your eyes I see nothing. No glint of intelligence, no personality, no sparkle in the rubies of your eyes. These things have gone now, replaced by nothing. When I'm around you now I feel nothing. Now every little thing you do, for me, is an excuse for anger; an outlet for emotions that are stockpiled within myself. I see your flaws, the little imperfections you have; your roguishness, crassness, the tomboyish way you carry yourself. I've seen you drunk, complacent, hateful, satisfied and I hate you for being all these little flawed things, and then I realize that I, too, can be each of these little loathsome things. And then I hate myself for realizing that; I hate myself for hating you.
I can't ask for perfection, I know I can't; no-one can. But then I realize that I demand perfection from you because anything else gives me a reason to let go. Let go of you, let go of this relationship. I can remember the love that I once felt, I remember when we went to the country to visit my parents. Everyday was a day where I fell in love with you more. This image I have of your face on that day, in front of the lake, lying on the grassy knoll that overlooked the fields and lakes that stretched out around of us, the view that might as well have been the entire world. That image I will cherish forever, your blue hair so perfectly matched the lake and the sky, your flaming eyes contrasting the purity of your white coat. That love that was so clear to me then has gone now. All there is now is apathy.
I'm sorry, Vinyl, truly I am. There is a part of me that will forever cherish the time we spent together, a part of me that will always love you, but now I feel that if we continue this resentment inside me will build. I don't want to hate you Vinyl, I want to love you, but I can't, not anymore.
Vinyl finished reading the letter, tears flowing freely from her eyes. She had no idea how to take what she had just read; the mare she loved was revealing that she had growing feelings of resentment towards her, that she no longer loved her. Vinyl would do anything to have Octavia love her like she still did. She wanted to forget what she had read; pretend that it wasn't true, that this was all just a dream, but it wasn't, Vinyl knew that. After a couple of minutes the news seemed to settle in, and Vinyl broke down entirely. She just lay there, on Octavia's couch, crying into Octavia's pillows. After a few minutes of near-hysterical crying the emotional pain she felt transcended emotion and became real.
As she was still crying the front door opened; Octavia had returned home. Immediately Octavia heard Vinyl's hysteria, the roaring weeping coming from the lounge. Slowly she walked into the sitting room, as silent as she could be, and observed Vinyl as she was, a shell of the pony she normally was. Seeing her like this made Octavia cry as well, but not in a hysterical sort of way, but a more quiet, repressed sort of way.
"O-O-Octy, p-p-please say it's not true. Please take it all back, everything. Just say you love me again, please." Vinyl pleaded when she realised that Octavia had returned. She was begging to take the pain away. A solemn figure stared down at the pitiful sight of Vinyl as she was. She looked her in the eyes, and could see the pain within, the pain she caused.
"I'm sorry." She said, as a lone tear trickled down her face.
Well this got out of hand fast. I was downstairs, making my traditional hot chocolate when suddenly I thought of a way that someone could break up with someone whilst referring to their eyes being empty husks. This idea niggled at me and realised I could make this short story type thing to do with Octavia breaking up with Vinyl. I'm gonna leave this as incomplete, in case people actually like this story (which distracted me from updating my other, ongoing story) and think I could/should make another chapter. Also marking this teen to provide leeway if I choose to continue this.
480069 Not bad for a quick write, but some better spacing on the paragraphs in general will give a better flow and not make it so wall-of-text like.
But i enjoyed it, so thumbs up for you!
The formatting sucks but it is too good.....................
MY EYES
All my tears. Oh god.
Poor Vinyl
Good story though.
No more Wub?
Wow, really well done in my opinion... now if you don't mind I'm going to go cry somewhere
It.. It's so sad! I never even thought about anyone writing a fic where two characters broke up, but I think this one is a good one. It's short and bitter, and it leaves the reader wanting them to make it right. Bravo good brony, bravo.
Nice story and great couple, but I do kinda feel like it should be continued and hopefully maybe you could have it as they eventually get back. Ofcourse not before having lots of drama, sadness, anger and jealousy. I hope to see it continued and maybe end happy.
http://equestrianbookclub.blogspot.com/
You may want to read this.
April 22nd
Oh goddess this is good. Realistic, and simply sad, just beautiful. Please do more, just so I can be hugged again. (Me ---> )
480640>>480645 this any better?
482398
Thank you. i would like to ask though, is the letter centering intentional? It seems kinda awkward. That's just a minor gripe though.
482596 Indeed it is. At the time I thought that centering the letter would make it look like letters in books do. At the time, though I forgot that despite being a written medium, centering the text on a webpage and centering the text in a book are two different things. Many of the examples of lettering in books I have seen have centred the words in the letter to show distinction from the text, with the exception of Bram Stoker's "Dracula", where the main bulk of the story being delivered through letters. I could easily change it if you think it would improve presentation, though; it is just a matter of deleting two things.
483341
Why does everyone format things like in books on.........
nvm lol....
my web nerd inside me is getting out of control
483353 because I am a part-web, part-literary nerd!
482018 I just read the review
I know it is short, but I didn't want to stretch out anything too much, I could've added more detail here and there, but all in all I think it does what I wanted to do
damn you... reminded me what my ex did to me... *le sigh* ugh i know how vinyl feels
That . . . was good. But it really needed to be longer. Without context it didn't affect me or engage me at all. It felt like the climax to a story that was never written. I don't know, I'm not trying to be mean, but that's my opinion.
488513 Prepare for the worlds most lazy excuse in 3...
The whole story is kinda "in medias res", and I allude to a history which is never explicitly looked at. For the story I feel as if you can use any pre-existing notion/story about Tavi/Scratch, to kind of allow the reader to "fill in the gaps", as lazy as a trope that may be.
About the length, the whole story was based on one line that I thought up fairly late on at night, that line being "when I look into your eyes I see nothing". The whole thing kind of expanded on that concept, the concept of a total feeling to one's own partner. I did try to make it as long as I could, and as filled with detail but a lot of the times details I played with adding in seemed either completely arbitrary or unnatural, but that is probably my poor writing showing.
As for the ending I was a bit stuck on that myself; there was no obvious way to end it at the time. Truthfully I wanted this to be an epistolary story but soon realised the flaw in that. Instead I opted to end it in this way because I wanted to show that Vinyl was completely destroyed (as one is entitled to be at this point) and ending it with a "climax" seemed inappropriate given her current state. I also wanted to end it in such a way that it stood on its own as an (extremely) short story, but could also be added on to later, if the need arises.
Wonderful. I always enjoy Vinyl/Octavia, particularly when it is as well done as this story is. So is this completed, or will you be writing more? Not that it really matters, I added it to my favorites anyways and the ending works both ways, but I figured I might as well ask
491573 Well people seemed to enjoy it enough so presumably yes.
Of course I don't wanna rush anything out, so I'm playing around with a few ideas over how to write it. It is ostensibly a one-shot, so if it were to continue it would probably be only around 1 or 2 chapters of roughly the same length.
494042
Well I will keep an eye on that star icon, and the number beside it, which reside in my account bar then
Got to be strong... Strong.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooOoOOOOOOOOOOooo
I'm alright now...
files.sharenator.com/funny_celebrity_pictures_swallow_sadness_like_a_boss_Meme_base_13-s500x372-156544-580.jpg
501222 I sense by your profile picture that Vinyl is unwilling to let go, and to her I say
images.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/10292090.jpg
Sadness :(
I put this in my 'read later' list, and finally got around to reading it. I'm so glad I did, this was really really nice. *O* I do hope you'll choose to continue with it. Tracking~!
pleeasee write more!!!!
I really like it... I hope you continue :D
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*drowns in sad feels*
Poor Octavia. :(
5342988
really... really.... really? she performs what is generaly considered one of the top ten most selfish acts in history, and poor her?.....really?