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Gears Of Change

It's almost Nightmare Night and everybody is ready for some wicked fun. That is until strange things start to happen around Equestria.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 2 )

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The Mobius Strip

The Mobius Strip #1 · Sep 8th, 2014 · · ·

This is interesting. The communication is very good in my opinion, not too emotionless but not Nicholas Cage. But you need to use some commas and connect your sentences a wee bit better. Also, doesn't quite make sense who he is. He kind of seems like evil bad guy #25925378490. Give him some nice mannerisms, like saying stuff in a slight accent or adding things to the end of his sentences like darling, or dearie. Kind of seems like he was home-schooled and doesn't really have his own idiolect.

I rate 3/5 will follow for updates, seems promising. Nice story, but you need to expand on what he is and if he's unique. Because this ain't Friendship is Magic, this is Detroit is War. Other than the points above, pretty nice.

Good job.

The A I