This story sounds complicated.

I dont think my handle can brain it.

Wait...is this...Bionicle?!?

>>476066476066 Wait, are you being sarcastic?

Wait, is that a crossover tag I see? The colors looks a little suspicious, too...

>>476084476084 Yes.

>>476089476089 That is indeed a crossover tag you see. ^_^

Bionicle!

An MLP-Bionicle crossover...

Image: http://troll.me/images/success-baby/success-baby.jpeg

YES!

>>476102476102 That's right! It had to be done.

>>476115476115 Thanks!

>>476097476097

Ahh, bionicle... I remember those... wait... does that mean there will be mechanicle ponies?

>>476130476130 Before I was a brony, I was a Bionicle fan. Be careful, I might regress to nerd-mode in the coming chapters.

Never did like Bionicles.Too hard to make.

I'll give this credit and a track, though.

I like it :D

Oh god, I would've never thought of a MLP-Bionicle crossover. Maybe because it's been like 4 years since I stopped caring about the storyline, I pretty much forgot about it until now, when I read the comments, glanced at the pic and instantly recognized the Toa Mata, Takanuva and Makuta. Now that I think about it, I always saw a connection of sorts between the Mane Six and Toa Teams, which usually were of six different elements too.

This sure will be interesting, faving just to see how it turns out.

>>476088476088

No shit.

>>476160476160 Gee, that tells me so much.

>>476172476172 Good guess, but not quite. The ponies are ponies, but everything else is biomech.

>>476243476243 Same here. I consider myself duly warned and would like to warn you in return that I have a bad habit of picking and choosing which bits of canon I like, so there may be some things off. And since the toa are ponies, I had to adjust for that, too.

>>476452476452 Eh, I actually liked the more complicated ones better, but to each their own. Thanks, and I hope I can make this worth your while!

>>476854476854 Thanks!

>>476897476897 Same here; I have mixed feelings about 2008 and hated 2009-2010, so I'm just going to stick to the first few years in this.

Yep, there's also a lot of similarity between the early storyline and the Nightmare Moon 'mythology.'

>>476958476958 Sorry; I have a friend who says stuff like that in complete seriousness (though it's not true) so I wanted to be sure.

Heh, not bad. found 2 bionicle crossovers in one day. And I'm tracking both. so, keep it comin'

A Bionicle-MLP crossover? I freakin' love you.

It's ironic that in the space of one week at least 3 MLP/Bionicle crossovers spawned... and while this one seems slowest to grow it is showing the most potential. I look forwards to more of this, though I must say that if this is a crossover with the mane 6 acting as the toa, the entire timeline will be screwed over and changed rather fast.

If I recall, they first face a number of rahi, then their dark clones or shadows, then bohrok, then bohrok queens, then bohrok kal, then rahkshi, then makuta him- (on in this case, her-) self. then they find their ancestral home, then the flashbacks of metru nui, then the ignika/mahri sidestory (I would love to see you make a band of the sidecharacters the ignika... that would be perfect) and then finally the arc in karda nui against actual makuta, before moving to bara magna and having celestia as the mane character.

Hmmm... most interesting.

hello fellow Bionicle nerd/brony first I like to say this is a great intro to your story and I see what there with the mane six and the six Koros. Twilight to Ko-wahi, Apple Jack to Po-wahi,  Rarity to Ga-wahi, Pinkie in Le-wahi, Rainbow Dash in Ta-wahi, and Fluttershy in Onu-wahi. Now I'm an author of another Bionicle/MLP story called My Little Bionicle: Destiny is Magic and I have the same pic, with permission from the artist. Some one by the name of Orpheus said that I ripped you off. Now I'm not whining about this I'm just saying that it is good to know some one like that to have your back.

>>488936488936 Are you referring to Toa Coy's? And thank you, I will!

>>518339518339 Thanks!

>>519582519582 Thank you. I do apologise for how long this is taking, but life has a way of barging in on writing time, and I'm as neurotic as Rarity or Twilight sometimes.

I won't be going past the Mask Of Light arc if I even go that far, but just for fun...

Jaller: Shining Armor (Duh!)

Hewkii: Bon-Bon (Macku is Lyra. :I)

Nuparu: Twitht

I dunno about the others, though...

>>520204520204 I'll take a look at your story! And yes, very.

Also, going to say right now to everyone that I'm not having the Mane Six replace the Toa. Nope, I have a different plan in mind. >:D

>>526432526432 That leaves Hali, of water,

Kongu, of Air,

and Matoro, of Ice.

Twilight as Nuparu though...? There are other unicorns... much more fitting ones.

>>527218527218 Yeah, I can't think of anyone fitting them.

No, Twitht!

>>527239527239 If you would allow... leave that, to moi'. I love helping other people with their stories since I don't have any of my own to handle yet.

>>527299527299 Well, like I said, I won't be going any further than MOL. I have a pretty clear idea of how this will end, (though I'm giving myself leeway on how it gets there) but thank you for the offer! :)

>>527327527327 my pleasure. Heck, maybe I'll continue it if you leave it open ended.

>>527372527372 Maybe!

>>476172476172 Just for pun... are you enquiring as to the presence of iron horses in this fic? Because as far as I know the only one I've seen goes between canterlot and appleloosa with a stop in ponyville... and it's an iron horse pulled by horses with iron in them! sweet huh?

Holy crap dude! There are so many epic stories on this site, I can't get enough of it! Especially this story, because it rocks so hard!

Ah!! I was about to make a comment about how annoyed I was that you switched Twilight "Firemane" Sparkle into an Ice-typer, and Dash into the fire type... then I read the footnote, and wish to express my deepest facepalm and apology at that sentiment. I can't wait for more, and I can empathize with how good unlimited internet feels.

Also... Kapura is a creep.

>>571112571112

Kapura is just a little aloof. If you know Vakama, you'd know that he can see potential in things normally deemed worthless.

>>571281571281 Now that I think about it, that is eerily like Celestia.

>>571286571286

Not really, if you're thinking about Twilight's backstory as her student. Twilight made it kinda friggin' obvious she had something in store.

>>571315571315 Yeah, but Celestia pretty obviously thinks that way about everypony. What other reason is there for her to keep scum like Blueblood around?

>>571319571319

Family and press coverage? Besides, I think Blueblood only showed up at the GGG.

>>572174572174 Noted.

As far as the whole interaction played out, it looked perfectly fine to me; you definitely captured Kapura perfectly (not boring, just slow) and it reflects in how RD reacts to him.  Based on events in the show, I'd say you portrayed Dash just fine to me, all six of them have learned and grown in their own way, just remember that she is impatient, abrasive and quick to jump to the point (or to get others to the point).  I'd like to imagine that having Tank would give her the chance to slow down every once in a while and allow others to catch up.

>>533172533172 Why, thank you!

>>571112571112 Wow, I didn't even think of the fire-mane connection... But still, I stand by Twilight in Ko-koro due to her intellectual nature. [strike]and the shenanigans that would result from her having immediate access to the island's main source of knowledge[/strike] and RD seemed to fit best in the village of hotheads. [strike]In fact, I chose all of them based on what would result in the most chaos![/strike]

>>571281571281 Yeah, that's the impression I got too, from the MNOLG. :)

>>573495573495 Thank you! I think I could have had RD be a bit more confrontational, but whatever. I suppose I didn't think of that, but it does make sense!

>>571112571112 Just kidding. I have deeper reasons than shenanigans. [strike]Mostly.[/strike]

Why do the Matoran and Toa have to ponified while the Rahi don't?

>>577330577330 Because.

>>577515577515

Yeah, because why?

>>578456578456 Because a pony version of a Nui Rama would be weird, and because I'm lazy.

>>578784578784

Huh? I meant, why did you ponify the Matoran and the Toa?

>>579477579477 Ummm... simplicity? I'll be honest with myself and admit I just sort of always had them as ponies when I was planning this out. It didn't occur to me to keep their biomechanical forms.

Waited forever for this, nice to know about your unlimited Internet. Rainbow Dash was perfectly in character as far as I'm aware, and the few that is known about Kapura's personality was captured pretty well though. I loved the MNOLG references scattered on the RD-Kapura dialogue, but I really do hope the following episodes aren't just copypasting dialogue from there and throwing the Mane Six in. But I assume you'll be wise enough not to do so.

My only complaint is that so far everything seems pretty... Linear, and kinda lacking emotion. Might be your writing style, or even the lack of action in the story so far.

>>579625579625 Sorry; I promise I'm working on the next one! Thank you, and don't worry, that scene was less out of copypasting and more to liven up the otherwise dull trip to the volcano, and I figured meeting Kapura would be the perfect way to establish RD's later additude towards the ordeal.

I hope it's simply the lack of action, though I have been told I can be a bit dry. When I don't watch myself, though, I tend to veer into Purple Prose, which is arguably worse. Part of it is that I'm not good at writing emotion very well, another is that I see RD as being like HL's Barney Calhoun; put your less productive emotions, like fear, panic, or sadness on hold until after the crisis is over.

Linear?

Well, there I was, lying awake in bed and unable to sleep.  So I figured I'd hit up some FimFic  to catch up on some reading, but looking over my list of fics that I've been falling behind on nothing was jumping out at me.  It was all either way too long to start on or just not anything I was in the mood for.  Then I thought to myself, Wait, doesn't my friend LDLUYAB have some writings?  In short order I moseyed over here, to confirm and hey only ~1800 words for Ch1, yeah I can knock that back.

Over all opinion, you got talent.  I could easily recognize the core personalities of each of mane-6 and you did a great job of painting a narrative description of both their moods and the world around them.  The en medias res intro wasn't what I expected, but it drew me in fairly quickly too.  I especially like the way each scene sort of bleed into the next, giving it a nice jumpy pace.  Special applause go for transitioning from Pinkie getting attacked by one beast and straight into Applejack already mid fight with one of her own.

After I finished I started skimming the comments and a word I hadn't at all expected came up, "Bionicle", and I was like No way!  How did I miss that?  Looking back the signs were all there; island divided into six distinct regions and populated by bio-mechanical life-forms, crossover tag up top, and after taking a second look at the art, yes those are ponified Toa.  I was a pretty big Bionicle nut for like 4~5 years, getting every single set, multiples of a few, and dozens of mask packs and the like, before I sorta lost touch with it when the Piraka arc started.

So yeah, MLP + Bionicle + written by a friend + written very well = I have no choice but to like this.  Updates look to be sparse, so I'm not going to dive straight into Ch2, but I'll definitely be back for more of this.

PS: I'd been in something of a downer funk most of the night , but this story snapped me right out of that and into a very happy place.    Thanks man.

>>729837729837 Wow, thank you! :D I wasn't sure how well the transitions would go over, so I'm glad you liked them!

Yeah, same here. I held on a bit longer, but yeah, same story here.

By the way, I'll get onto proofreading your new story soon; been adjusting after the flight and got roped into helping with some yardwork. Definitely before tomorrow ends, though!

I'm glad I could help. :)

well done

>>476102476102

I approve of your profile picture.

Are you planning on including the toa mahri

>>11018521101852 Not really; this was supposed to mostly be the first year or so

Alright then.

So, this seems interesting. I'd like to see where this goes, and exactly what your plans are. More interactions between the Mane 6 and the natives would be good, though I assume they're coming.

Sorry for the late comment, I finished reading hours ago, wrote this and then forgot to post it Oh well

>>13582931358293 Yep, it's definitely coming up. Culture shock is fun to write.

Thank you, and hopefully it won't take another five months to come out with the next chapter!

So, the flash-back was for the gravity of culture shock?

Well I finally sat down to read Ch3, when I relized I still hadn't read Ch2.

I'm a little curious about your MLP time line since Dash mentions Nightmare moon as a mere four months ago, while this is apparently also post Discord.  I also wasn't expecting the residents of the island to be ponyfied, though I suppose the cover art should have forewarned me.  Still, even if pony shaped I might have thought it better to leave them as biomechs (not sure how this might affect activities like Ta-Matoran lava surfing seeing as you are actually invoking convection).

Also, it's a little odd to see old names like Jala (instead of Jaller) mixed alongside revised words like Matoran (instead of Tohunga).

>>13595951359595 Not really; more of a ridiculously long set-up for a small analogy.

>>13657681365768 Whoops!

I'm mainly going by this, so some episodes wouldn't have even happened yet by the time the... events ...that brought them to MN occurred, though in hindsight four months does seem a bit cramped, yet. I may change it.

As for the 'stay biomech/become pony' issue, I'll admit I didn't really put too much thought into the issue when I started this; my thought process at the time was basically something along the lines of "Well, them being ponies would make communication a bit less of an issue, and I don't really want to waste everyone's time with four-five chapters of pony-assuming-toa-are-monsters-and-reacting-accordingly style shenanigans." That's not to say there won't be some culture clashing later on, but I know it always annoys me when I'm reading crossovers and something similar to that happens, especially since it's more often than not executed very badly. Though on the other hand, now that you point it out, I am a bit uncertain about what to do with Lava-surfing and such. This is going to give me a headache for the next few days, isn't it?

Ah, whoops.

If you have previously clarified this, sorry. It's been a while. But I think:

Fire and Ice are Unicorns.

Earth and Stone are Earth Ponies.

Air and Water are Pegasi.

This makes more sense than the cover image. Water arePegasi because Pegasi can influence rain, and Fire are Unicorns because they use magic to create fire.

It makes more sense this way. Just sayin'.

>>13727711372771 You're right, that does make sense. And I wasn't going to go exactly by the picture, anyway.

>>13766211376621

Yeah, I'm not a huge fan of that picture.

>>13766341376634 Same. Unfortunately, it was the best I could find.

>>13766421376642

You don't need a cover image. Or you could just do a picture of the land, forgot if it was Metra- or Mata-Nui.

That could work.

>>13766451376645 I suppose so. (And it's Mata-Nui; Metru-Nui was the crazy city one)

>>13766531376653

Yes! First gen of Bionicle was the best.

No contest.

Use a map. It would make more sense as well.

>>13766791376679 That it was.

I am!

>>13767581376758

Achievement Unlocked! Convince Author to change story picture

Why am I not watching you? -_-

*Browsing author page*

*See MATA NUI*

FUCK YES BIONICLE CROSSOVER

I REMEMBER THOSE

6 elements... 6 toa/regions... that actually works really well.

I never even considered the possibility of this crossover... we really do ponify everything, don't we?

COMMENCE THE READING IMMEDIATELY

>>15414581541458

I'll admit this isn't one of my better stories, but I hope you enjoy regardless!

Okay, I normally would never read a bionicle story, let alone a MLP/Bionicle crossover, but the description has captured my attention. Reading now.

>>15897411589741 What's wrong with Bionicle?

Thank you, and I hope you enjoy it!

>>15897581589758 Just never apeealed to me. Same thing with the Power Rangers.

Okay, this is good so far. The characters are portrayed in a realistic manner. Few grammer mistakes. Great job! Now, on to the next chapter!

>>15897641589764 Ach so; I can see that. I could go on a whole ramble about the good and bad aspects of Bionicle, and compare and contrast it with my admittedly scarce knowledge of Power Rangers, but the short version is that the two are quite different, but I can understand how it may appear to be similar. And PW aside, I can certainly understand that it may not be everyone's cup of tea.

>>15897961589796 Thanks! Glad you like it so far!

>>15898071589807 Well written chapter is well written.

>>15898121589812

Okay, I did not understand half of what I just read, but that is because I don't know a thing about Bionicle. Another good chapter! No grammar mistakes that I could see. If the next chapter is as good as the first two, this will be favorited.

>>15898771589877 Hopefully things will become clearer in later chapters; I'm hoping to make this readable to non-Bionicle fans as well. Once I finally get back to writing it...

Thank you! And I hope you enjoy it!

Okay, this was way too short, but the only reason I say that is because I liked it, A LOT. You, good sir or madam, have just earned a fav.

>>15899261589926 Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it; and while I admit I'm not sure when I'll be able to get the next chapter out, I hope it's worth your while!

>>15899381589938 No hurry. Rushing something is never a good thing, especially a story. I am sure that the next chapter will be worth the wait!

Would you be willing to check out my story? I am always looking for new readers.

>>15899441589944

Actually, I just opened chapter 1 on it when i got the notification of your reply! Sounds interesting so far.

>>15899481589948 Thanks! Hope you enjoy the rest!

>>15899521589952 Yep; I'll comment on the chapters as I read them.

I feel like I shouldn't be self-advertising, but might I also recommend The Test?

>>15899701589970 If you don't advertise, how will anypony read your stories? As long as your not the used car salesman type, Those get annoying, quickly. I will check it out.

>>15899761589976 True, and yeah, I hope I'm not. :B

Oh, man, I loved the original Bionicle. My brother and I had all the Toa (except Lewa, because we couldn't find him anywhere for some weird reason) and we used to play with them, making them fight against out other toys as if they were Rahi Ah, good times...

My brother liked Tahu. My favourite was Onua, because I thought that his mask looked cool, and because he had claws.

You've caught my attention with this story

>>17244461724446 Same here; I still have a lot of the older sets either sitting on my shelves or living on in custom models. Very good times; I think that's part of the reason Six Bronies struck so close to home.

My favorite at the time was Pohatu, for being the 'friendly everyman,' though in terms of design my favorite was definitely Onua.

Glad you like it so far!

What's this?  A well-written MLP/Bionicle crossover?  Well, bless me, it is!  You have no idea how giddy this makes me.

This story is excellent so far.  Everypony is very much in-character, and you do a wonderful job of word-painting Mata Nui for us.  Your writing is clever and well-paced, a real pleasure to read.  Dash's whole conversation with Kapura in the second chapter gave me little chills of nostalgia - good grief, it's been years since I played that game, but it all came rushing back when he said "I am practicing."  I suddenly feel ten years younger.

Do you mean to continue this fic eventually?  With this strong a strong start, it's well worth finishing.