You know the drill. Costumed dude comes to Equestria, gets powers blah blah blah. However, what's different about this guy is that he came here of his own free will. And he's dressed as Alucard. And he ha a plan. Will he win? Read and find
5062939 Cause this is primarily a brony sight and they hate it when people kill off their favorites. Or the fact that I'm using TFS abridged Alucard(which I have made a point of telling everyone) and not the original. I think they get confused as to which one I use. Or they just don't like my style of writing. Meh.
So you know all of those stories about humans coming to Equestria dressed as their Cosplay character, with their powers? Yep, I'm another one of those people, however my story may surprise you.
Admitting right off the bat that you're putting out a cliche.
Oh and I'm fucking Alucard, yeah.
You're fucking an ancient vampire whose real form is a shadowy mass full of mouths, eyes, and who knows what else? That's disgusting.
Proluge part 1: How I came here
It's spelled "Prologue". It's extremely ridiculous that your prologue is divided into two parts.
Chapter 1: I'm Back Baby
Why is your chapter 1 the only chapter that has the chapter number in its title? Show some consistency.
I always wondered what Bug taste like
Improperly capitalized chapter title, which is extra stupid because the preceding and following chapters get it right.
Your blog says you hate MLP, that's understandable, but do you hate the craft of writing too? Because you really, really suck at it.
...no, just no. This is the most awful piece of crud I have ever encountered.
The numerous problems with this story include: - Horribly bad writing, with an unacceptable amount of grammar and spelling errors. - Wreckless character killing. - God-moded Mary Sue/Gary Stu central character. - Excessive hate toward the focus franchise of the fanfiction site. I'm surprised mods haven't deleted this sadistic hatefic yet. - Improper tags. It's not funny you sicko, so no 'Comedy' tag for you. You're doing a HiE 'displaced' ripoff, not a Crossover, drop the 'Crossover' tag.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg! I can take some hatefics, but this crosses the line way too far!
Your story doesn't even make any sense! For goodness sake, if you are going to rip off a displaced story, at least learn the basics of the multiverse theory before you begin. Killing something in one reality, even if it's the 'prime' reality, WILL NOT cause a chain reaction of multiversal death!
5063020 I'm not going for comedy, I am doing this to kill off the fucking main cast. You want comedy go the read the rest of the LoHAV stuff, not my stuff.
5064566 Hey that's fine. I can handle fanfics like that if they're well written. God Mode Sues can even be a breath of fresh air sometimes.
But this is just...blegh .
First there's the time skip that serves no purpose at all. You arrive 3042 years in the past, kill a few guards, bite Celestia, puke because she raped her dad, then you bite Luna and inject her with vampire blood.
At first I was like "So Luna is going to your thrall, neat", but then it seems this plot point has been dropped or forgotten as you sat in a cave and did fuck all for the next 3042 years!
Instead of Vampire Thrall Luna we get some fangirl you picked up at a fricken Wal-Mart! Let me guess...she's your girlfriend in real life?
Then you have that thing with Pinkie...I don't even know what the hell that was...SCP Pinkamena? Did she turn into an SCP creature? I guess it would explain her realty warping. *shrug*
Then there's this Akuma guy apparently hiding inside you that "Raging Demons" the souls you eat. I had to look this one up. What the hell does Street Fighter have to do with anything?
If I was writing this, I wouldn't just go around senselessly killing the Mane 6. I'd psychologically break them first. Show them just how evil and hypocritical their precious Princesses, Elements of Harmony, and their Magic of Friendship are.
And by show them I don't mean just saying "Hey Celestia fucked her dad and the Elements of Harmony are WMDs!" No, I'd need to show them actual physical undeniable proof for a statement like that to make logical sense.
Then I'd kill 'em when they've crossed the Despair Event Horizon and are thoroughly broken.
5066062 who says i won't do any of those things in the future? luna will still be a thrall and the elements thing shall be made fact later. like i told you this alucard has a plan.
5066062 who says i won't do any of those things in the future? luna will still be a thrall and the elements thing shall be made fact later. like i told you this alucard has a plan.
and why so many dislike this is very........ interesting and come on it's alucard what do they expect from a fic where alucard the main guy killing ponies.
5067343 Thank you, it is good to know some people support me. Plus another is probably because, my stories don't just outright say what my characters plan is. Most people seem to like it when the main character says his entire plan and/or arsenal to himself. Or when the author doesn't leave them any surprises.
Caroline's smile came back bigger than ever, "You've got SAO? That's one of, in my opinion, the best animes ever!" I smiled and led the way back to my throne.
.......Really, bro? Really? You just lost so many awesome points in my book.
Caroline's smile came back bigger than ever, "You've got SAO? That's one of, in my opinion, the best animes ever!" I smiled and led the way back to my throne.
I'm putting this my favorites ust for Alucard alone. Time to baste the fear turkey...and then have sex with it
5062939 Cause this is primarily a brony sight and they hate it when people kill off their favorites. Or the fact that I'm using TFS abridged Alucard(which I have made a point of telling everyone) and not the original. I think they get confused as to which one I use. Or they just don't like my style of writing. Meh.
5062971 Oh he will have sex with it! Then throw it in Celestia's face!
5062988 Oh goody! please tell me he will take an nice "walk" through Canterlot. PLEASE! amongst other things
Admitting right off the bat that you're putting out a cliche.
You're fucking an ancient vampire whose real form is a shadowy mass full of mouths, eyes, and who knows what else? That's disgusting.
It's spelled "Prologue". It's extremely ridiculous that your prologue is divided into two parts.
Why is your chapter 1 the only chapter that has the chapter number in its title? Show some consistency.
Improperly capitalized chapter title, which is extra stupid because the preceding and following chapters get it right.
Your blog says you hate MLP, that's understandable, but do you hate the craft of writing too? Because you really, really suck at it.
...no, just no. This is the most awful piece of crud I have ever encountered.
The numerous problems with this story include:
- Horribly bad writing, with an unacceptable amount of grammar and spelling errors.
- Wreckless character killing.
- God-moded Mary Sue/Gary Stu central character.
- Excessive hate toward the focus franchise of the fanfiction site. I'm surprised mods haven't deleted this sadistic hatefic yet.
- Improper tags. It's not funny you sicko, so no 'Comedy' tag for you. You're doing a HiE 'displaced' ripoff, not a Crossover, drop the 'Crossover' tag.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg! I can take some hatefics, but this crosses the line way too far!
Your story doesn't even make any sense! For goodness sake, if you are going to rip off a displaced story, at least learn the basics of the multiverse theory before you begin. Killing something in one reality, even if it's the 'prime' reality, WILL NOT cause a chain reaction of multiversal death!
This 'story' is just vile.
The EMPRAH approves this story DOWN WITH ANTHRO PONY ABOMINATIONS! jk good story tho
5063182 Hey don't like it don't read it.
5063020 I'm not going for comedy, I am doing this to kill off the fucking main cast. You want comedy go the read the rest of the LoHAV stuff, not my stuff.
5063182 That is just a theory, we don't actually have an idea of what would happen. Plus, this is my story, so fuck off.
5063046 Oh he will.
5063182 It is comedy, it's funny to see them try to survive. When it comes to ponies and fanfics, I have almost no soul.
5063122 Thanks for the constructive criticism, I'll try fix those.
5064585 Also, like I said, I'm a new writer here, and I would take any tips you could give me.
5064566
Hey that's fine. I can handle fanfics like that if they're well written. God Mode Sues can even be a breath of fresh air sometimes.
But this is just...blegh .
First there's the time skip that serves no purpose at all. You arrive 3042 years in the past, kill a few guards, bite Celestia, puke because she raped her dad, then you bite Luna and inject her with vampire blood.
At first I was like "So Luna is going to your thrall, neat", but then it seems this plot point has been dropped or forgotten as you sat in a cave and did fuck all for the next 3042 years!
Instead of Vampire Thrall Luna we get some fangirl you picked up at a fricken Wal-Mart! Let me guess...she's your girlfriend in real life?
Then you have that thing with Pinkie...I don't even know what the hell that was...SCP Pinkamena? Did she turn into an SCP creature? I guess it would explain her realty warping. *shrug*
Then there's this Akuma guy apparently hiding inside you that "Raging Demons" the souls you eat. I had to look this one up. What the hell does Street Fighter have to do with anything?
If I was writing this, I wouldn't just go around senselessly killing the Mane 6. I'd psychologically break them first. Show them just how evil and hypocritical their precious Princesses, Elements of Harmony, and their Magic of Friendship are.
And by show them I don't mean just saying "Hey Celestia fucked her dad and the Elements of Harmony are WMDs!" No, I'd need to show them actual physical undeniable proof for a statement like that to make logical sense.
Then I'd kill 'em when they've crossed the Despair Event Horizon and are thoroughly broken.
5066062 who says i won't do any of those things in the future? luna will still be a thrall and the elements thing shall be made fact later. like i told you this alucard has a plan.
5066062 who says i won't do any of those things in the future? luna will still be a thrall and the elements thing shall be made fact later. like i told you this alucard has a plan.
well that made my day
and why so many dislike this is very........
interesting and come on it's alucard what do they expect from a fic where alucard the main guy killing ponies.
good fic good sir
5067343 Thank you, it is good to know some people support me. Plus another is probably because, my stories don't just outright say what my characters plan is. Most people seem to like it when the main character says his entire plan and/or arsenal to himself. Or when the author doesn't leave them any surprises.
more.
5075342 Ask and you shall receive.
thank you my lord ALUCARD
give that bitch a chainsaw
5081776 Which one?
[youtube=JyhkJxMwfi8]
This is absolutely hilarious.
Encore. Encore. Bravo.
Long live the CrimsonFucker.!
5082641
.......Really, bro? Really?
You just lost so many awesome points in my book.
Its rather sad how few Alucard stories there are, much less GOOD ones like this
And then there were three...
Give that bitch an orbital cannon.