Set in the Gentlemanverse and inspired by Aetherpony's "Wild Rose." Richard, a Gentleman for hire, is called upon to tend to the needs of Ponyville's resident rose vendor.
“Mud, mud mud!” I groused, replacing my tenth towel of the day near the front door of Daisy’s Fleuronic Fantasies. A howling gale left over from the earlier storm, which forced me to set up shop indoors that day, blew a cool, and very welcome, breeze through my sweaty mane.
Odd to grouse over that when you so enjoy getting down and dirty, Rose!
I shuddered involuntarily, wanting nothing more than to find the nearest rain puddle and dive into it to clean the spatters off my normally impeccable coat and mane.
Just be sure you aren't accidentally diving into the mirror pool, Rose! I don't think we could deal with fifty of you...
So I was alone… and in heat... if any human stallions decided to show up to take advantage.
Poor Rose... all alone and nobody to ravish her... I'll volunteer!!!!
Discussing our new human guests from across the dimensional portal with Lyra tended to bring out the patently ridiculous, given her instant obsession with the bipedal species. However silly it may of been, there was no denying their dark allure: the predatory appearance, the repressed sexuality that took form in their modest use of clothing to cover themselves up, and their embarrassment at the very mention of sex in casual conversation.
To be fair, Rose, you wouldn't *want* to see most of us naked... if you're getting the cream of our male crop over there, that's one thing, but trust me, there are plenty of people you wouldn't even want to see fully clothed.
I was randier than a rabbit after winter wrap-up, and more frustrated than Luna after nine-hundred and ninety-nine years on the moon, but Celestia knows I’d never be that desperate for intimacy…
Nice line!
Never.
Never's a long time, Rosey...
That meant a lot coming from the mare who once scowled at a farm filly over a matter of a bushel of apples. The poor gal must still be having nightmares from the description of the story I’d heard secondhoof
Now I want to know this story! She faced down Applejack???
She’ll be needing them in her… rear end?
Projecting again, Rose?
The impossible had come true; Bon Bon was joining a herd with Lyra and a human stallion!
So special agent Sweetie Drops is going deep undercover--and under the covers--to keep tabs on humanity!
My very hungry human shadow. A relentless predator who hunted me patiently, an obsessed stalker who would not rest until he’d tasted mare…
Until he’d tasted me.
Hope springs eternal, Rose...
“Whew! Rose, I think the stallions can smell you from all the way across Equestria. I better take over the front desk. I think one look at you is enough to knock you up! You can take over for me deadheading those bushes outside.”
That would be interesting... having sex with and impregnating women with a mere glance? Feminists would have fits!
And I was terrified of confiding in any of my friends. Lily would freak, and Daisy… Well, she’d never let me live it down for as long as I lived.
Or the hereafter!
Sea Swirl, a unicorn mare living on the northern end of Ponyville I only barely knew, asked me to join a group that called themselves H.E.R.D.—for Harmony Equestrian Reclamation Division—which was protesting the existence of a human/pony escort service called Gentleman For Mares.
I'm flattered you included this! I still need to write that story... but it is way down on my list right now.
In retrospect, I should have told her she’d misspelled the word ‘deceivers’ on her sign. Oh well…
I before E, except after C, Sea Swirl...
Firefly, strike me down! Was it even obvious to mares I didn’t know on the other end of town how badly I needed human attention?
I saluted her again, exulting in my victory. “I won’t let you down!” I told them, even as I was planning to do just that. I’d make up an excuse later, but that was a question for another day. Directions in hand, I went straight to the train station and didn’t look back. For if I did, I feared I’d lose my nerve.
This is what I like abour your version of Rose. She does whatever's necessary to pursue her dreams and fantasies, and if that means conning some pony bigots, so be it. Still, she might have to watch her back after this...
Sea Swirl regarded me for a moment, then nodded. “I guess I had you figured all wrong, Rose. I’ll give you directions to the main office in Manehatten. If you can carry out a little… ‘redecorating’ of the building itself, we might consider you to join us.”
Just be sure you conjugate correctly!
At least I could take solace in the fact that the stone-lined street wouldn’t be reduced to a river of what ponies in Stalliongrad referred to as ‘rasputitsa’, and what Ponyvillians simply called ‘mud’.
Nice reference! Hmmm... maybe I'll have to incorporate an ancestor of Roseluck's in Firefly!
Well if that prissy unicorn can do it, so can I! Strutting up to the front door, throwing back the hood of my raincoat to reveal my glorious, perfectly coordinated two-toned red and pink mane, I flashed the man at the door a roguish grin before setting hoof inside.
That's the Rose we know and love! You go, girl! Get that human! Or more to the point, let him get you...
Good addition to the story! certainly a part of the story we hadn't heard before, and raises even more questions to be answered, like how she dealt with the HERD folk afterwards. If you're rewriting this, I'm definitely looking forward to it! Good to see you writing again, and keep at it!!!! I know it's frustrating trying to get readers and likes on this site sometimes, but patience and persistence pays.
To be fair, Rose, you wouldn't *want* to see most of us naked... if you're getting the cream of our male crop over there, that's one thing, but trust me, there are plenty of people you wouldn't even want to see fully clothed.
Didn't think I'd get to use that image macro twice. I used that as a joke over on Five Star Service.
Good addition to the story! certainly a part of the story we hadn't heard before, and raises even more questions to be answered, like how she dealt with the HERD folk afterwards. If you're rewriting this, I'm definitely looking forward to it! Good to see you writing again, and keep at it!!!! I know it's frustrating trying to get readers and likes on this site sometimes, but patience and persistence pays.
This site is maddeningly inconsistent and it feels like I have to write poorly to get noticed. I know it's not true, but the feels man... the feels. The show must go on.
This is what I like abour your version of Rose. She does whatever's necessary to pursue her dreams and fantasies, and if that means conning some pony bigots, so be it. Still, she might have to watch her back after this...
You know what the worst part is? The info was right in the newspaper! Yeah, I know... But she was stubborn and proud and refused to ask for help with this. Those ponies in the know who read the Manehatten Times would have told her about G4M.
Now I want to know this story! She faced down Applejack???
Season 1 episode. The Cutie Pox. Bon Bon makes her famous "I didn't put those in my bag" line.
Nice reference! Hmmm... maybe I'll have to incorporate an ancestor of Roseluck's in Firefly!
That would put a whole new spin on Roseluck in AGP when she was joking about being Soviet Premier.
From a couple of sentences, did humans rape ponies or something? A bunch of young men surrounded by naked mares, sounds like precarious situation.
By coincidence or no, most of the immigrants to Equestria were young adult men in their sexual prime and the way they’d look at passing mares, unclothed and vulnerable, told me all I needed to know about them. Give them a month or two, and nature would take its course… and in at least case I knew of, it already had.
Odd to grouse over that when you so enjoy getting down and dirty, Rose!
Just be sure you aren't accidentally diving into the mirror pool, Rose! I don't think we could deal with fifty of you...
Poor Rose... all alone and nobody to ravish her... I'll volunteer!!!!
To be fair, Rose, you wouldn't *want* to see most of us naked... if you're getting the cream of our male crop over there, that's one thing, but trust me, there are plenty of people you wouldn't even want to see fully clothed.
Nice line!
Never's a long time, Rosey...
Now I want to know this story! She faced down Applejack???
Projecting again, Rose?
So special agent Sweetie Drops is going deep undercover--and under the covers--to keep tabs on humanity!
Hope springs eternal, Rose...
That would be interesting... having sex with and impregnating women with a mere glance? Feminists would have fits!
Or the hereafter!
I'm flattered you included this! I still need to write that story... but it is way down on my list right now.
I before E, except after C, Sea Swirl...
Appreciate the shout-out to Rise of Firefly!!!!
This is what I like abour your version of Rose. She does whatever's necessary to pursue her dreams and fantasies, and if that means conning some pony bigots, so be it. Still, she might have to watch her back after this...
Just be sure you conjugate correctly!
Nice reference! Hmmm... maybe I'll have to incorporate an ancestor of Roseluck's in Firefly!
That's the Rose we know and love! You go, girl! Get that human! Or more to the point, let him get you...
Good addition to the story! certainly a part of the story we hadn't heard before, and raises even more questions to be answered, like how she dealt with the HERD folk afterwards. If you're rewriting this, I'm definitely looking forward to it! Good to see you writing again, and keep at it!!!! I know it's frustrating trying to get readers and likes on this site sometimes, but patience and persistence pays.
7254791
That would be even worse than forty keks!
camo.derpicdn.net/f36e25eea2068db2e45f061239091a11e69539ab?url=http%3A%2F%2Fs21.postimg.org%2F4l6i8gjvr%2F409.png
Roseluck visits Wal-Mart.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/7/30/385970__safe_solo_roseluck_scared_artist-colon-alkippe.png
Thanks!
i.imgflip.com/12fpzh.jpg
Didn't think I'd get to use that image macro twice. I used that as a joke over on Five Star Service.
This site is maddeningly inconsistent and it feels like I have to write poorly to get noticed. I know it's not true, but the feels man... the feels. The show must go on.
You know what the worst part is? The info was right in the newspaper! Yeah, I know... But she was stubborn and proud and refused to ask for help with this. Those ponies in the know who read the Manehatten Times would have told her about G4M.
Season 1 episode. The Cutie Pox. Bon Bon makes her famous "I didn't put those in my bag" line.
That would put a whole new spin on Roseluck in AGP when she was joking about being Soviet Premier.
aolx.tmsimg.com/movieposters/v7/NowShowing/163191/p163191_p_v7_aa.jpg
From a couple of sentences, did humans rape ponies or something? A bunch of young men surrounded by naked mares, sounds like precarious situation.
8513709
Nothing like that.