You Wouldn't Believe Me if I Told You

by PinkiePiedPiper

Chapter 1: The Wall

I embellished the story a bit, but I haven’t really made a dent in the dream itself. Let’s see how this goes…

Aaaaand here is the disclaimer: I don’t own MLP: FiM, aside from my Pinkie, Rainbow, and Applejack figures. Oh, oops! I don’t own the RIGHTS to MLP: FiM. That belongs to Lauren Faust and Hasbro.

You Wouldn’t Believe Me if I Told You

Chapter 1: The Wall

“Oh, shoot! Where are my manners? Where am I, for that matter? Never mind. First things first, I’m Steve!”

He offered his hand for a shake to Sven and Faendal, trying to be friendly to the two minor characters from his newest favourite video game.

Faendal just stared at him, not trusting this big, apparently crazy guy enough to even get near to him. Sven, on the other hand, was always on the lookout for an ally in this insane game they were trapped in. This one, assuming he had the support of the multi-coloured mini-horses, was as good a candidate as any.

“My name is Sven,” he replied as he took Steve’s hand in a strong clasp. He gestured to his enemy. “And this is Faendal, a backstabbing son of a hagraven who just barely finished killing my wife, Camilla, before you got here. Welcome to my nightmare.”

Steven turned his attention to Faendal with a look of betrayal and horror in his eyes. And to think I helped you in my game! “I thought you loved her…”

Faendal glared daggers at Sven, noticing exactly what game Sven was playing at, and he tried to defend himself.

“I do. Or I did! It isn’t like that! You don’t understand! Sauron made me do it! He gets in your mind and makes you do things that you don’t want to! He whispers things, horrible things, and he poisons your mind. You’ll see, mark my words! All of Riverwood was here at the start, and we are all that’s left! We will all be dead soon enough. I was doing her a favour by ending it for her!”

Steve then realized that this was some sort of Battle Royale, or like the recent remake The Hunger Games that had boosted in popularity on the Internet recently. But instead of Japanese officials or the American Government, this one was run by Sauron, selecting random combatants from multiple planes of existence just to amuse him.

Luckily he didn’t choose Master Chief, or I’d be screwed!

Then Steve remembered the ponies. I will never hurt My Little Ponies! Ever! But between Twi’s magic and Rainbow’s speed, I don’t really stand a chance against them anyways.

Forgetting all about Camilla, Steve asked, “How long have they been standing there?”

Sven replied, “Since you got here, or pretty close to then. I’m not sure why they haven-“

“Welcome to my arena, Steve… Twilight Sparkle…Rainbow Dash.” Sauron interrupted, freezing the three humans in place and flooding their vision with himself. “I see Steve has made your acquaintances, and if I’m not mistaken, his alliances as well. Good… very good.”

Faendal felt a pang of fear, and something inside of him seemed to let go.

“I have summoned you here to battle one another because, quite frankly, my war on mankind is going well, and the Ring is within my grasp.

“This next round will be fun, for I will place two spiked walls on either side of the ponies, who shall remain immobile. It will slowly close together and crush them. I assure you that they will be quite conscious when this happens, and it is very painful. You three must choose one of the ponies to save by dragging it her to safety. One must die. Choose well!”

Upon release from his grasp, Steve ran between the spiked walls, which were about 20 feet long, 10 feet high, and 20 feet apart. He shouted to Sven, “You grab Rainbow Dash! I’ve got the other one!” Steve vaulted over Rainbow to get Twi, as she was further away and he had a head start on Sven.

Sven yelled, “Sauron said only save one!”

“Screw Sauron! I’m not about to let anypony die because of some stupid floating eyeball!”

Makes sense, I guess…

Without warning, Faendal leapt at Sven, tackling him to the ground between the closing spine barriers. “I can’t let you do that, Sven! You mustn’t disobey the Eye! I’m gonna do something I should have done a long time ago. Kill you.” An evil grin spread over his face.

This was promptly punched by Sven, so hard that it knocked him out cold.

15 feet

Sven rolled Faendal off of him, and painfully rose to his feet.

Steve, oblivious to the combat behind him, picked up Twi, who was somewhat heavy and was very awkward to carry. “Quit messing around and grab Rainbow or I swear I’ll kill you myself!”

10 feet

Sven stepped over a bleeding, motionless Faendal, and ran to Rainbow and picked her up. She, being a Pegasus built for speed and flight, was much lighter than Twi the unicorn, so Sven had little trouble.

5 feet

Steven reached the far side of the walls’ reach, dropping Twilight on her feet and panting from his efforts. She’s gotta weigh about 150 pounds! Guess I shouldn’t be surprised. They just look so small and light on the Internet!

A small tear welled up in one of the purple pony’s eyes, not of sadness, but of fear and thankfulness to this odd and valiant stranger, to whom she owed her life.

One of the spines put a slice in Sven’s leg as he ran, adjusting his course for the last few feet. A split second decision later, and he was soaring through the air, paralyzed pegasus on his back.

CLANK! SCREEEEeeee

He landed roughly just outside of the spines just as the spikes clashed with the other wall. Rainbow tumbled away from him for a few feet before landing like a tripod on her head and outstretched wings. She, too, felt grateful, but it was tempered by the fact that she was upside down, and she still could not move.

Sven considered his luck, sweating profusely and thankfully bleeding much less severely. By Talos, that was close! If only Faendal hadn’t… Faendal!

About 2 feet in, between the walls and skewered by many foot-long spines, was Faendal, head towards Sven. He feebly lifted his head and looked straight at Sven.

“You… bastard…”

Then his head slumped down again, catching his chin on an angled spine. It rested at an uncomfortable angle as blood spilled down the spike. He was dead. His eyes were still open, lifeless, and trained on Sven, unnerving him.

It’s odd, that after so much death, it still gets to me. And I hated him! Why do I feel horrible?

Steve, too, saw Faendal between the spines. Despite being so close to the death, he had to suppress a slight chuckle. That is so coincidental! In his Skyrim play through, his Faendal had perished by a swinging spiked trap wall. He had not saved in a while and did not deem him important enough to get back, so he had finished the quest and replaced him with Lydia.

Each of their views were suddenly shrouded by a dark black pupil spewing forth waves of flame to form the semblance of an eye.

“Tsk, tsk. Why did you go and save both of the ponies?” Sauron said reprovingly, gaining anger to his speech. “Did I not say to get only one? How many ponies were there? 2? Well, I spy with my little eye two living ponies! Apparently SOMEone thought it would be a GOOD idea to save BOTH of them! How DARE you DISOBEY ME!”

Sauron flared in anger, burning hotter and brighter in their eyes. He even seemed to sprout black spines similar to the deadly walls, which felt like they were jabbing and burning into their eye sockets. The pain was so intense that Steve thought Sauron would burn a hole right through his head, and he could do nothing to stop it..

Slowly, however, Sauron began to cool down and retracted the black needles, seeming to regain his composure.

“Perhaps,” he began slowly, “perhaps you did follow my rules to the letter, if not the spirit of the law. I did say that one must die, and so one did! You are clever little mortals. You are such skilled loophole exploiters I am shocked that neither of you are lawyers!”

He paused, cooling down back to his regular burning self. “The more I think on it, the more I enjoy the results of this latest round. For such a display, I shall reward you all with some momentary peace. Get to know one another, because it is much more enjoyable to watch you kill the others when you care for them!

“The ponies are now free to move about, but do not think I have forgotten anything! I can see that plan in your head Rainbow Dash. I will take your wings, and Twilight’s magic while I am at it! Have a pleasant afternoon!”

And with that, each was their own man again; or pony, as the case may be. Twilight and Rainbow crumpled to the ground in agony, Rainbow more so as she landed square on her back with the loss of her wings.

All four of them lay on the grass, holding their eyes and writhing in pain. Each was glad that that had passed, but they all dreaded what was yet to come.

Comments

[kjaslwod]

i1041.photobucket.com/albums/b412/jankahl/Random/oh-boy-here-we-go.jpg

I don't even.

[PinkiePiedPiper]

469409
is that a good or bad thing?

[kjaslwod]

I don't know. It's just. Wat. My brain's on a vacation right now, call me in two weeks.

[Dark Lightning]

Battle Royale?
Ponies?
FIGHTING PERHAPS!?!?!?!?!

th06.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2012/107/5/b/you_aren__t_going_anywhere_by_paradise_wonder-d4wjlfi.png
This is going to be good.

[SenialHobo]

This sounds like something I'd write. To the read later list thingy it goes!

[IraqLobstah]

i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/282/930/9ce.gif
^ Me when I saw this ^

[Paladin Redflare]

OH! That's gotta hurt!!

They're all going to die, loved or not, I don't feel sorry for them in the least.