Eveyann
Joined 3rd Sep, 2014 ·
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That was funny. I loved the applebloom part at the end. I can't wait for the next chapter. This is going to be funny.
5064288 Thanks I plan to have the next chapter done in the next couple of weeks, I'm glad you enjoyed
oh great! now I got that Twilight is my bestist friend woopie song stuck in my head, when i first heard it it was stuck in my head for a few weeks and it drives my friends cra-cra!
5068353 Sorry, I just don't know what went wrong
5068389 Oh now i can hear derpy singing it but instead shes singing winter fall down winter fall down, im the derpyist poneh, omg i should totally make something like that, IM A GENIUS
I like where this is Going, Looking forward to the next Chapter.
5127844 thx the next chapter will be relesed on Monday
Nice job with Sassafly. I can't wait to read the next chapter. This is going to be great. Great job.
Drat. It had a very good premise, but PLEASE get yourself an editor!
5137381 I'm so sorry spelling and grammer is not my strong point, i will try to improve it in the future
5137381 I looked at it again more closely and fixed any mistakes I saw. Thank you for pointing it out to me, this is my first Fan-Fic so I'm still getting to grips with things.
5137381 promise* might want to look up the definition of premise before using it again :3
5203910
Premise: noun, A proposition supporting or helping to support a conclusion.
5203910 What do you mean by that (just asking)
I like it, but please proofread next time? I kinda feel like this was a raw version. It needs to be edited. Although I don't know how this editor thing works, but I'm a boss at editing
, and I'm not a troll. I wouldn't delete everything, if the editor actually goes into the actual document. 
Nice start BTW!
5140377 The best way is to proofread and read it aloud. Also I'm seeing lots of exclamation points where they shouldn't be. For example:
Also TRANSITIONS!!! Pwease? Use transitions.
I... What? Please explain.
What the...
And lastly please capitalize proper nouns, have a new line for every dialogue quote, and USE PUNCTUATION! I cannot stress that enough!
And also spelling. The bold is incorrect for the first, and the opposite for the second.
Original:
Corrected:
Just pointing that out! Good luck! Like I said before, I'm BOSS at editing.
5253632 yeah I know the first chapter is being edited and and the second chapter will be edited soon, sorry for ant trouble and thank you for commenting
5137381
5253556
hey I know you guys complained about grammer and spelling but the first chapter if fixed to best of me and my editor abilty and the second chapter is get edited i will now edit my chapter before publishing, Thank for the advice
fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/127/1/3/thor_and_mlp_meme_for_fimfic_by_ponpheonix-d64fsvg.jpg
5286844 chapter 3 coming soon
I wouldn't trust Sassha again Caramel. Especially if she just land down and accused you of cheating. Thanks for the update. I forgot about this story.
5814436 ive been busy im glad you enjoyed it felt terrible writing a chatacter as much of a bitch as sassaflash
5814521 I guess that is true. The only good time to write them is when something bad is going to happen to them.
5814684 she'll get her payback eventually
Woo. Yay! FlutterMac and CaramelApple? Some boldness, Evey.
5818697 Im a massive shipper and im not afraid to admit it
but is kinda asking for trouble even more when i bring soarindash to the picture
memecrunch.com/meme/BDB/all-the-shipper-feels/image.jpg
5818901 Lol. Bring it on.