Soarin's Folly

by a human

Chapter 9

Soarin wasn't quite sure what the worst part of being a cross-dressing waitress was—when the stallions hit on him, or when the mares hit on him.

He worked in a dingy old restaurant, with rotting wood walls, dirty pink felt carpets, and those irritating magic animated singing fish on the walls. The place had a constant stench of cigarettes, and was always filled with smoke, although Soarin, for life of him, could never identify the source of it. Not once was he able to actually find a customer smoking.

He wasn't really sure what the place's theme was supposed to be—he appeared to be the only man working there. The rest of the waitresses were women, not a cross-dresser among them, but no one seemed to notice anything unusual about him. Sometimes he wondered if his employer somehow had not noticed he was a guy. That didn't seem to make any sense, though. After all, he was a celebrity. It seems like someone should have recognized him…

But, he couldn't complain. The job paid, and more importantly, as an employee, he got free food. So far, this had been the most stable income he had been able to find.

Still, he worried. It seemed more and more like something unusual was at work. Other people were drifting further and further away from him, even though not the slightest thing was changing about how he acted.

Once, he went up to a table and asked for a couple's order, and the two mares completely ignored him. It didn't seem like they were intentionally ignoring him. They didn't even flinch. It seemed more like they had never registered him in the first place. Another waitress came up and quickly took the order with no incident, but the incident still shook Soarin.

When he thought about it, though, it seemed like people only noticed him when it was inconvenient, like when he dropped a glass, or screwed up a order, and that was absurd.

Besides, things could be worse.

And oh, were they about to get worse.

One day, Soarin was serving an older stallion who was giving him looks far dirtier than he would've liked. He had just given him his bill when the older stallion stopped him, touching him on his shoulder, letting his hoof linger a little too long, and said, "I'd like to see you. Alone."

Soarin tried to look for an escape. "Sorry, but I have to—"

Then, behind him, his boss appeared and made a grunt. "Now, Soren," she said, getting his name wrong as usual, "this here is one of our most valuable customers. We wouldn't want to disappoint him, now would we?"

If Soarin had few options before, he had no options now. The customer led him through a door towards the back of the restaurant that Soarin was reasonably sure was not there before, and they entered a dark dingy room with some couches that Soarin was definitely sure was not there before.

The stallion walked over to some type of machine, placing a large, round disk on it. He then set some type of spindle on top of it, and pressed a button on it, causing some music to blast out from somewhere. "Celestia's right. Humans are, in general, a menace," he said. "But they have brought some quite interesting things with them. Do you know what this is?"

Soarin was a bit distracted by the fact that it was blaring out slow, sensual sax music. "No," he stammered.

"It's a record player," the stallion said. "A technology for playing back recorded music. It's not the humans' only way of doing it, or even the best, but it's one of the few that we've been able to adapt for our own purposes." He approached Soarin slowly. "Isn't it?"

Soarin was not really sure what an acceptable response to a question like that was. It was too vague, and open-ended. He tried opening his mouth for couple times, but the words would not come out.

Before he had done anything useful, the stallion had crawled up beside him. "That's my job, you know," he said. "Deciphering human artifacts. They really are a quite fascinating species. It will be a shame when they are all gone."

He stretched.

"I need a chance to unwind," he said. "I just had the toughest last couple weeks. The princess wanted to erase someone. Normal enough, but this time, she wanted to she wanted it to resemble the method described by a human novelist as much as possible. Figuring out how to adapt it to this world, managing all the actors, who were confused by the inexplicable scripts given to them… it was quite an ordeal. And the worst part is, if it's done right, no one will even remember it. Not even us."

Soarin got a chill up his spine. He wondered if he was the target of that. It certainly would explain a lot.

But, if he was, this stallion would have recognized him, right? You couldn't erase someone so thoroughly that even the one responsible forgot… could you?

The stallion edged closer to Soarin's face. "This is where you're supposed to console me," he said, parting his lips. He edged his hips a little closer, and finally, Soarin snapped, and got off the couch.

"Look, I'm sorry, but this isn't a brothel," Soarin said. "I'm not sure what you want, but I can't give it to you. I'm straight, for Celestia's sake."

"Oh, I know that," the stallion said. "I prefer it. Straight people are so much more lively. They give the feeling of being… condemned. The last couple weeks have made me realize just how attractive I find that." He smiled. "And didn't you hear? People are disappearing from this part of town. I might have had a hand in that. Anyway, places like this are getting a little more desperate to make money. They're branching out." He got off the couch as well, and slowly started sauntering over to Soarin. "Don't worry. It's not like prostitution is illegal or anything. I don't think Celestia could stand for that…"

That was it. Soarin slammed the door open and stomped out. He couldn't take it anymore.

On his way out, he bumped into his boss.

"What do you think you're doing?" she said.

"I'm out. I'm done," Soarin said. "That stallion wants to have sex with me, and I can't do it. It's that simple."

His boss scoffed. "Is your pride that important to you?"

"Of course it is. I'll find something else. I can always find something else."

His boss stared at him for a couple seconds, her eyes filled with contempt, and, Soarin could swear, pity. "You can't. It's your fate now. I am your last chance."

Soren glared. "If I die out there, it will be better than this."

And with that, he left.