Jax rode Luna out of the psychologists place. Slow Healing had been a pleasant mare, with a nice smile. She hadn’t even commented on their disheveled appearance, which was appreciated. Jax could use a shower, and he wasn’t even the one running around.
To sum up the session, she had told Luna to be patient with him, even if she was annoyed. It was important that he was the one who let go, no matter how slow the progress seemed. They had then done some exercises to make Jax feel safe or something, which they would build further on in future sessions until he could let go of Luna. The first goal was for Jax to only have a hand on her, which sounded easy enough until he tried to do it. It was not easy.
Twilight and Rarity waited for them outside. Rarity had gotten a shower and looked like her normal prim self.
“Ah, darlings. I was wondering, Jax… Do you want me to give you a manecut? Your beard could use a trim as well, if you don’t mind me saying. We can do it at my boutique, and while you’re there, you can both get a shower.”
Jax nodded eagerly, jumping at the opportunity to finally do something about his looks. Luckily his hair and beard weren’t set on fire along with his clothes - that would have probably made it even more painful than it already was - but that just meant that he hadn’t done anything about it since he came to Equestria almost one and a half months ago. It looked pretty wild and unkempt.
He remembered that he wasn’t the only one who should make decisions on where they went, and looked down at Luna, who was smiling at him.
“Well, I see no reason not to. We could both use a shower for one. Let us go, miss Rarity. If that’s okay with you Twilight?” Luna said.
“Oh please, just Rarity.” Rarity said, as Twilight said. “Yes, we’ve already talked about it.”
“Good. After you, Rarity.” Luna somehow caught both sentences without any problems while Jax was still sorting them out.
They made their way to Rarity’s boutique, where Rarity took out three scissors… three!
“Now, darling, I may not be a friseur, but I am skilled with scissors.” She looked at Jax’ uneasy expression. “No no, don’t worry, I’ve done this before. Mostly for Sweetie Bell though... Let’s get started then.”
“Rarity, wait.” Luna interrupted. “You cannot use magic on Jax”
“Ah, of course princess. I forgot for a moment there… what if it’s just the handles of the scissors?”
“Hmm… but only use one scissor then. I’ll be watching to make sure.”
“Of course.”
Jax decided to close his eyes as she started to cut seemingly random strands of his hair and beard. Then again, he didn’t know anything about hairdressing, and Sweetie Bell’s hair had seemed fine to him.
20 minutes later he looked in the mirror. He looked… good. His hair was cut short, and his beard had been trimmed. He smiled at his reflection.
“You seem to like it. I must admit it turned out better than I expected. Now, you can take a shower while I clean up.” Rarity told them with a smile, as she took out a broom.
After a quick shower that was in no way embarrassing whatsoever, Jax and Luna made it down again with a blush on both their faces. Jax was wearing the new clothes he got from Rarity, the ones which matched Luna’s fur.
He looked damn good, the best he looked since he appeared in Equestria, if he had to say so himself.
“Oh my, what a handsome human.” Rarity told him with a smile.
He kind of wished he could make a rebuke like ‘handsomest in all of Equestria!’ since he was the only human here, it would be true as well. He was quite literally the smartest, strongest, and handsom…est… human on the planet. Was handsomest even a word? Whatever.
He smiled back at her and nodded. Being mute really sucked sometimes. Taking out parchment, quill, and ink every time he needed to say something would be so much work. He wished he had gotten his phone with him, that would have been a little easier at least. He wondered how long it would take for the medicine he drank every day to do its magic.
“Well let’s get you two back to the castle. Twilight made it very clear that you still have a lot of forms to sign.” Rarity chuckled at Jax’ deadpan face. He had been signing all morning to the sound of Twilight explaining why there were so many forms. He hadn’t really been listening, something about him being a resident from a different world or something. He could understand why that would make it a tad difficult, and he was grateful that Twilight had gone through the trouble of finding all the right forms for him to sign, but his hand still kinda ached. The break had been appreciated, thank God Rainbow came when she did.
They made their way back to Twilights Tree-Castle of Friendship, Rarity insisting on walking them there, claiming that she forgot something in the ballroom. Since they didn’t know where Twilight was, Luna decided to follow Rarity there.
“SURPRISE!” Came the shout when Luna opened the door.
She jumped back, opened her wings mid-air and flapped them, making Jax tighten his grip on her because of the sudden movement. Also being air-borne all of a sudden gave him quite a shock.
She landed a good distance away and put a hoof over her heart, taking deep breaths. Jax stroked her in an effort to calm her down as well. She had still taken the shock better than he had at his surprise party. He had completely forgotten Luna’s was today, with all the stuff that happened lately. Good thing he couldn’t say anything, or he might have repeated his mistake from last time.
“I apologize. That was… quite the surprise.” Luna said when she had calmed down.
“Well it is a SURPRISE party. Come on, the cake won’t eat itself!” Pinkie appeared and explained.
Luna gave Jax an unsure glance, to which he gave her an encouraging smile.
“Wait… if it did eat itself, would it become twice as big, or disappear?” Pinkie asked, her eyes widening.
Jax laughed his silent laugh at that, and Luna relaxed a bit. They made their way in to the ballroom, greeted the elements, Beating Heart, Lyra & Bon Bon, Big Mac nodded at them, and some other town people Jax didn’t know the name of gave their own greetings. It was a smaller gathering than at his party, but then again the ponies seemed to be a bit more at ease this time around.
To his surprise the two nurses who had made him… a bit uncomfortable, were there as well, even coming over. What were their names again? Something with heart… Tenderheart and Redheart? That was it, the ones with the same mark. They both looked nervous, or remorseful… nervously remorseful perhaps. They bowed down in front of Luna.
Redheart spoke up. “Excuse us, your highness. We want to apologize to Jax for our inappropriate behavior when we met.”
Luna looked confused at them, then back at Jax. He gave her a squeeze, which translated to yes.
“I shall allow it.” She told them, sitting down all of a sudden, forcing Jax off her back. He sat down beside her, still with an arm around her. He gave them a small smile, indicating for them to continue.
Tenderheart went first. “I’m sorry for asking all those silly questions. We had a long talk with Beating Heart afterwards, and I realized that I was a bit… rude. Well, very rude. It was uncalled for me to ask you whether you ate ponies and if you were in fact Discord… and I’m especially sorry for… using the word ‘fry’ to describe your burns. Uhm, I realize now that you’ve been through a lot, and, well… I’m sorry.” She ended with her face towards the ground, ears folded… the classical sad pony look.
Redheart stepped up beside her. “And I’m sorry for insinuating that you were going to hurt her. Beating Heart told us very clearly what she thought of our… word choices.”
He smiled at the mental image of Beating Heart giving them a verbal beating.
Luna handed him some parchment, ink and quill.
‘You are forgiven. It wasn’t a big deal to begin with, I might have overreacted a bit.’
They both looked relieved after reading his note.
The next apologizers came over, looking like tiny heartbroken plushies that you just wanted to snuggle with.
“We’re sorry about how our idea turned out.” Scootaloo started.
“Yeah, we we’re just trying to help, we didn’t think it would cause you pain.” Sweetie Belle elaborated.
“But that’s no excuse to put you in danger like that, and we’re willing to take any punishment you want to give us.” Apple Bloom ended for the group, with that accent of hers.
They sat down on a row in front of him. The sad pony look was five time stronger on foals it would seem, and Jax was having a hard time deciding what to do. On one hand, it was thanks to them that he was having a good time out of the hospital right now, on the other hand… three days of pain. Three days of continuous pain. Pain so strong, he barely knew what was going on around him most of the time. Then again, it wasn’t like they knew that that would happen, as far as he understood, and they hadn’t forced him to drink it, he had done so all by himself in his eagerness to get out of the hospital.
He sighed and looked at Luna, who was looking at him expectantly, waiting for his reply along with the tiny ponies. A memory came back to him, of when he had made his way back to the hospital from the town hall. He had to be guided by Rainbow Dash, Beating Heart, Twilight and Luna because he kept staring at the night sky. He remembered how it had made the others look at them as well, and the huge grin Luna had when they had done so. He made his choice and wrote, with Luna looking over his shoulder.
‘You have to stargaze one hour each night for a month.’
Luna smiled when he finished.
“Stargaze?” Scootaloo asked.
“You mean… looking at the stars? Are you sure that’s a punishment?” Apple Bloom sounded puzzled.
“Yeah, I rather like looking at the stars.” Sweetie Bell added.
Jax kept on writing.
‘This is what I want you to do, I’ll trust you to do it even though I won’t be monitoring you. As to why… Beautiful things need to be appreciated.
Oh, and if any of you become a guard someday, join the night guard.’
Luna started laughing beside him, a bea- a very pleasant sound that made him smile.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders looked confused at his request, but were quick to accept, probably in fear that he would change his mind and give them a real punishment if they didn’t. They made a quick retreat after that.
Luna looked at him with approval and happiness. He loved the way her cyan eyes brightened up when she was happy.
‘That’s the way those eyes are meant to look’ he thought to himself.
Jax looked around but there were luckily no more ponies that wanted to apologize to him.
Since this was a Pinkie Party, he was sure that it would be lots of fun. He smiled in anticipation.
***
Luna was having so much fun! They had started out with her, Jax and Pinkie spending more time at the snack table than she normally would have, then they had gone on to play various games, then Spike had crawled up on Jax shoulders and declared himself King of the Party, but was opposed by none other than Pinkie Pie, who placed Lyra on Twilight, before crawling up on Lyra. The war that ensued was hilarious in its seriousness. King Spike got Rainbow Dash, Beating Heart, and a couple of other residents, while Queen Pinkie got Applejack and Bon Bon along with various residents. Fluttershy, Rarity and the rest of the guests declared neutrality, but were forced into the war one way or another, so they made a third party led by the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
The chaos that ensued made Discord proud. He said so himself when he joined the war on Fluttershy’s side, throwing pies left and right.
In the end there was food, pillows, and water everywhere, and a peaceful negotiation had taken place, led by the neutral party. After that the party had resumed like nothing had happened.
Octavia resumed with the music, and a couple of ponies decided to dance. Luna could still feel the adrenalin pumping around inside of her, which may have been the reason she decided to ask Jax to dance. To her surprise, he gave her a light squeeze.
They spent some time trying to figure out how a quadruped pony can dance with a biped human while still hugging. Luna ended up on her hind legs, with her fore hooves around his neck. It wasn’t easy, but luckily the music was slow enough that it was possible. He had a tight grip around her, making her sigh in content.
Luna was happy.
***
Twilight inched closer to Rarity, while looking at Luna and Jax dancing.
“Rarity? What do you think about Luna and Jax?” She asked her friend.
“Oh, darling, not you too. I’ll say it a million times if I have to, those two are not trying to take over Equestria. These rumors have really gotten out of hoof.” Rarity sounded a bit annoyed.
“I know that!” Twilight said, surprised that she would think otherwise. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Oh, excuse me Twilight, I’ve just been repeating the same thing over and over about those two recently. I hope ponies get over it soon. I mean look at them! They-“
“They look like a couple, don’t they?” Twilight asked what she wanted to know.
“Well… I suppose they do look a bit… You don’t suppose…? Now there’s a rumor I wouldn’t mind confirming.” Rarity ended with a smile.
“I don’t know if they actually are but… I just wanted to know if it was only me who saw it. They are very comfortable in each others presence. You would think that being forced together like that would make them… tired of the other? I haven’t heard either of them complain a single time, not even a small disagreement.”
“Oh, I do hope they end up together. Jax is such a sweetheart once you get to know him, and Princess Luna is… well, I think they could both get a lot out of starting a relationship.” Rarity said with glee.
Twilight smiled at her friend. “I think so as well.”
***
Jax was looking up at the moon as Luna raised it. They were in the highest tower of Twilight’s castle. The party was over, every pony had gone home after helping clean up the giant mess from the war. As he had predicted, it had been fun, even more fun than his own party. He sighed in content.
“Jax?” Luna sounded content as well. He looked over at her to let her know he was listening.
“I… had fun today.” She said, with a smile that couldn’t be more genuine if Pinkie gave it.
He gave her a light squeeze to tell her that he had fun as well. They never got around to sign those forms, but he would probably just have to do it the next day.
They spent some time just looking at the moon and the stars. It was nice and peaceful.
To think that Luna had been imprisoned on the very same moon for a thousand years.
‘What do you think of the moon?’ He wrote and showed her the note.
“What do you mean? It is, and always will be, my beloved moon.” She answered.
‘I mean… you were imprisoned there for a thousand years? No hate for it at all?’
“Ah… No. At that point I was more a prisoner in my own body than anything else. If I hate anything it would be the Limelight that turned me into… a monster.”
That made Jax laugh despite himself. It wasn’t really a laughing matter, and Luna looked at him weirdly. “It is funny to you?”
‘No… it’s just… in my eyes, Nightmare Moon wasn’t much of a monster. A villain, yes, and a bad one at that, but she didn’t kill anybody, she didn’t take advantage of the weak, she didn’t… do any monster things? She hurt you and your sister deeply, yes, but that is all she did, thankfully. Of course things would have been much worse if she had succeeded… with plants needing light to survive and all that. That Limelight thingy wasn’t very smart, was it?’
Luna looked at his note for a bit before she started laughing. She laughed and laughed until she started crying. At first he thought she was crying from the laughter, but then she buried her face in his shoulder and just started crying instead. He could feel his shirt become wet, and just started stroking her flowing mane, confused as he was.
After a while she calmed down enough to only sniffle every once in a while.
“Let us go to sleep.” She told him. He wanted an explanation, but he didn’t want to push her when she apparently didn’t want to talk about it. He gave her a light squeeze but when she didn’t move, he assessed her size instead. She was bigger than a pony but he could probably…
He picked her up with both his arms, holding her in front of him. She was almost too big, but he managed, especially when she put her head over his shoulder. She didn’t resist at all when he started walking, careful to not bump her into stuff, she only put her wing around him and over her head, probably so the guards couldn’t see her tear-stained face.
They got a couple of looks, but no one tried to stop him, and they made it to their shared room without problems.
She made all the preparations for sleep from where she was, using her magic. It made it a lot harder for Jax, and he had to completely give up on brushing his teeth.
He finally put her down on the bed, where she took off all her stuff, and he laid his shirt next to the bed. He held her closer than usual that night, stroking her for a long while before he finally fell asleep. He didn’t know what was going on, but he felt like she needed it.
***
Luna looked down at the human beside her, who had been stroking her and holding her close until recently. It would seem he finally fell asleep, judging by his slow breathing. She placed her hoof on his head, and when he didn’t react, she started stroking his hair, just like he had done for her. A smile spread on his face.
“You are very kind, Jax.” She whispered to him. “Far kinder than I deserve. Yet I crave it more than anything else.” A smile spread on her muzzle. “You make me so happy… It is as if I was never sad to begin with. How can one creature have such a strong effect on me? One little human has made me laugh more in the past week than I have combined in the time since my return. The sadness, the guilt, the crushing loneliness… It all washes away in the wake of your smile. If this is what friendship is like, then I must have truly forgotten the feeling, for this is the first time I have ever felt so…” She stopped when she couldn’t find the words. What was it exactly she was feeling?
She looked back at Jax again as he snored gently. “Did you know my sister sang a song for me upon my return?” He snored in reply. “She probably did not mean for it to make me feel so guilty, but every time I am reminded of it, it hurts. It hurts to remember how much I hurt her, of the monster I had become. I was Nightmare Moon, the monster that has inspired more nightmares than I care to admit. Generation after generation the stories were told, until Nightmare Moon did more than just try to take over Equestria. Why do parents scare their children like that? I never really understood it. My point is that everypony thinks of Nightmare Moon as a monster worse than Discord himself, and because they fear Nightmare Moon, they fear me, their own princess. All the regret in the world would not change that.”
She stopped stroking his hair and looked at him with a fond smile. “Then there is you. You do not even see Nightmare Moon as a monster, much less as the same pony as me. You have no idea how happy it made me feel, how absolutely ecstatic I was when you wrote that. I could honestly have kissed you.” She added with a blush, before continuing stroking his hair.
Then a frown replaced her smile. “Then I realized something I have not thought about very much since coming here. This is all temporary. I am a princess of Equestria. I cannot stay here, no matter how much I want to. But I do not want to go back sitting on a throne, hearing that song in my head again and again, until the guilt makes me…” She stopped to take a deep breath. She was afraid that she had whispered loudly enough to wake him, but he just kept snoring lightly. “I came here to become friends with you. I should have returned to Canterlot a long time ago… but I postponed it, and thank the stars I did. I am so happy I was there when you drank that potion.” She looked over the side of the bed, at the friendship report he had written for her. “You think receiving the longest hug ever is chore for me, but I am actually happy it turned out like this. Now I have an excuse to stay here longer. So please, I know it is embarrassing at times, but take your time. Do not hurry to let go, for when you do, I will have to leave.” She pleaded his sleeping form. Of course she received no answer, he had even stopped snoring.
She carefully maneuvered herself onto her side, and pulled him as close as she could. “Thank you for all the happiness you have given me Jax. I am going to enjoy the rest of our time together, until you let go of me, and I will have to return to Canterlot.” A thought occurred to her. “Maybe one day I will have the courage to tell you all of this while you are awake.”
She looked down at him as he buried himself in her fur. He kind of looked like he was dreaming...
Luna entered the dream world.
6243878 :)
AH!!!!!! I've already liked,favorited, and followed this story! What else can I do to show my approval!?! And you just keep making this story better! It's not fair!
6243915 Heeeey! You're still here XD You were one of the first to comment on this story XD Good to see I didn't lose you somewhere along the way :D
Thank you for your like, fav, follow and comments :) it means a lot to me to hear that people approve of this humble story of mine, and I'm happy just for that ^^ I don't know what else you can do, but I assure you that nothing else is needed ;) you can comment some more if you want, that always cheers me up :D
I am also happy to hear that I have improved, which is always a good thing :)
Good day to you, sir ^^
This story is getting very good. Keep it up.
6243944 as long as you keep up this quality of writing I'm not going anywhere. Also I vote that Jax goes with Luna back to Canterlot
6244080 I shall do my best :D
6244086 yes I'm sure your not the only one who would want that XD
This was a really good chapter. I agree with Gamer91, frels like I need to double like it. Lol. I'm quite interested to see how you develope there relationship. I really like stories that paint Luna as a real person, who after being iolated for so long, wants to develope some meaningful relationships, even if she doesn't quite know how. Too many stories make her very cold and hard. Anyway, all that to say that I really like how you've written the characters. I also look forward to this plot you've made mention of.
Also, totally agree on the updates. Lol, just had one of the stories I was reading go from no updates in months, to completed in like two weeks. Fortunately, I've got you, Handy, and Truekry to count on for regular updates.
6244693 Heh, would be nice to get more likes XD I'm not complaining though, I'm just happy to get awesome comments like these :) Makes all the effort of writing these chapters worth it :)
Yeah, Luna is my favorite pony, she deserves to have real personality :)
Hehe well I have focused alot on the characters, so I'm glad you like them XD I think... after next chapter, some time skips... It's still gonna be a while until the plot though XD Now I feel like the plot isn't good enough 'cause I've spent so much time on the chracters XD Ah, we'll see ;)
oh, wow, someone was busy XD
Yes, I shall strive to update regularly until I'm finished with it XD and the next ff I write... I have so many ideas, so little time though XD
Well that was a nice chapter, I think that last major paragraph at the end you might want to add in a space or two to break it up as it's kind of large for a paragraph. I'm also wondering how in the world they handle going to the bathroom...I only ask as I remember this old manga I read of his insane professor that placed bombs on this college woman and guy that would explode it they got too far away from each other and had to deal with a lot of the stuff like in this story.
I'm a bit worried you might have written yourself into a corner here with the ending as yeah as soon as he's well she will have to leave so then either you will have a long distance relationship or eventually you'll have to have him move to where she lives cutting out the Mane 6 for the majority of the story again. Then again if there was a time they were apart it could be good as I think a scene with Luna going to Cadence for advice on her feelings would be nice as we never really see them interact much.
And yeah I know what you mean about FF site, only one story has updated on my list in the past several months. One of the reason I came to this site for some new stories and hoping my first story into this fandom would get an easier time here...not so much it seems sadly.
6245276 I'm not gonna go into much detail about their bathroom adventures, I think I'll add a short explanation in the timeskip ^^
Yes, but I think it will be nice for them to be apart for some time, and when things start happening, Luna will get involved again, so don't worry :)
I'll put your story in my read it later list, I'll see when I can get around to read it ^^ You can't give up after three chapters though ;)
6245315 Thanks and I wasn't planning on giving up just a little discouraged is all but I still plan on at least finishing it. Also noticed the slight edit of that large paragraph I find it a bit easier to read now. Yeah I think just a little line of "as for the more awkward moments of being together...the less said the better" or something along that line as a nice little joke to throw in.
I actually thought you were going to show the session with the doctor for this chapter but I'm kind of glad you skipped over it unless it's something major I don't think we need to see it.
6244735 Yeah, she's definately one of, if not my top, favorite pony. Although, I could swear her voice changes in this season. But hey.
Lol, that story didn't have too many chapters. As for the others, I'm all caught up on Bad Mondays and Journey, and around chapter 50 on Nightmare. Then the various other stories that I have to re-read a few chapterswhen they actually do update, plus the ones that I doubt will ever update.
Well, as much as I hate to see this one end, I'll look forward to your next stories. Any previews?
6245459 well it's easy to feel discouraged XD I could feel discouraged that my 90.000 word story only has 127 likes, but instead I'm happy that I got over a hundred likes, and some cool people commenting on it XD
Yeah you were right, it was pretty big ^^
I had so much I wanted to happen this chapter, while at the same time no idea what they were supposed to do in there, that I decided to lightly skip over it and only sum it up ^^
6245481 hmm I didn't notice but now that you mentioned it... maybe? have to check her voice actors though ^^
Oh man, you caught up on Journey right as he stopped updating regularly? XD It's too bad that it has to be translated from german and stuff... such a good story though ^^ Bad Mondays is still good at updating though... with those huge chapters XD
I'm trying to think of which one you are referencing when you say Nightmare, but can't think of anything that's over 50 chapters...? ^^
Yeah, it's sad how many unfinished fics I have in my favorites that just... stopped updating. It makes me sad :/ I recently unfavorited a lot of ff that I wasn't interested in anymore because they had simply been too long without any updates, including the first ff I favorited :/
Well it has to end at some point XD hopefully before I run out of inspiration XD
I have two in mind that I really want to try that I think will challange me a lot. The first one because it will be a first person view, the second because it will be more action-driven ^^ But I won't start on the next until I finish this one, so it'll be a while :)
6245532 The Precious Life - Nightmare by Truekry. I guess it's pretty much done in German, so he's doing weekly updates on it.
Lol, and with Handyman, even if he doesn't update, he gives so much other info in his blog posts and comments. I always feel like I'm missing parts of the story by not reading all of them. He has put so much thought into that world. He's even got a map.
There was something Monte, the creater of RWBY said, the first step to writing a good story is creating a map. The map heavily influences the culture, and the culture will help to shape the characters and their interactions.
6245664 Hahah I went down into the comments of it and it's just you correcting grammar XD I love it XD
It looks like I did check it out, but dropped it for some reason... can't remember why though... ^^
in that case I'm probably missing part of the story cause I don't read them XD have i even seen the map? don't remember...
Ohh I love that show, hope the next season comes out soon :3
6246808 Lol, yeah.... I almost dropped it too, it didn't really catch my interest for the first several chapters, but now I'm hooked.
I'm sure I'm missing stuff too. I've read all the blog posts since I started reading it, but I haven't gone back and read old ones. And the comments, I ain't got time for that.
Me neither. I was hoping for this month, but it doesn't look like it will be.
6247690 Maybe I should give it anothwer try at some point then ^^ I'm gonnabe be busy though... hmmm
Hehe, it's been a while too, I wonder if there are any changes since Monty Oum died ^^
6247729 Yeah, it'll be interesting to see. I'm hoping they fix some of the contrast. Volume two had a few spots where the characters were like glowing. Story wise though, it's tough to say. Guess we'll just have to wait and see.
6247933 didn't notice that ^^ yes, indeed ^^
Alright seeing as I"m going to bed now, I figured after reading 26 chapters straight today deserved a comment in the section. I noticed some odd grammar here and there. Some odd sentences or spelling, but I can ignore all that, because this is actually a rather funny and cute story, one which I'm happy to have stumbled upon by complete accident actually. So, you earned a thumb and a favorite for this story from me :P Keep up the good work, and get an editor for future chapters or stories past what you've completed so far. Not because you have horrible writing, but I have a feeling English isn't your first language, and you might need one hanging around to make sure everything is smooth and can easily be understood (I.e. takes on his pants... doesn't make much sense, should be put on his pants.) :P
Don't take that the wrong way, just helpful suggestions!
6548740 Sleep well then ^^ Don't worry, I don't mind a this kind of criticism, and I'm happy you liked my story :)
You're right, not only am I not from an English speaking country, but my parents are from a completely third country, so I have a lot of languages to juggle. I can tell you that in danish, you take on pants XD Why can you take off pants but you have to put pants on? English man...
I can tell you that I still don't have an editor, I'm not sure I'll get one for this story... If you find mistakes that really bother you, you can put them in the comments and I'll correct them ^^
Hard to tell, but it would probably be right up there alongside the Space Balls' news report about "Pizza the Hut eating himself to death" ♪♫
I've been doing a marathon reading, having put this into my read-later box a while ago, and finally got around to looking at it. Definitely, it has something going for it that I like: a fairly realistic reaction of the people and ponies here.
6736405 Well I'm glad you think so ^^ I'm going mostly by instinct and inspiration with this story, though I do have the overall story in my head... things just kinda changed along the way, as I get inspired XD I hope you keep enjoying it, I'm getting close to the end... I think XD this whole thing just kept getting longer and longer XD
Belle
How come all the protagonist's get the waifu's... I mean I'm a lot like Jax, but I've never even had a lasting relationship....
Damn that's sad...
7914357 I'm sure you'll find someone one day ^^
7914357
continuous
English is a weird language
9831699
Corrected ^^
It is indeed