Equestria is in danger from xenmorphs creating a new hive near the crystal empire, a preatorian becoming a queen. Wayland yutani pmc's, scientist's, and michal wayland himself coming to take the xenomorph specimins back while killing anything that gets in their way, finishing off the crew of the saphora and the last two men of the sulaco. And a predator clan coming to start a great hunt of the xenomorphs, humans, ponies.The only help equestria has is the surviving crew of the saphora, their synthetic and the last two marines of the sulaco.
This story takes place a bit after the latest season ended. Its also after the end of the game aliens colonial marines.
(And becuase this has been bugging me I will remove comments that are mean even if they are to help, they have to be in a nice way or I delete them)
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Wow you used the word 'and' fourteen times in a text of six sentences. I am not saying all of those are incorrectly placed, but I am saying that you overused the word. *claps in hands* "You managed to screw up writing the most easy part of the story (mind you, I am not saying that the description is an easy part to come up with, but it is easy to write gramatically correct, due to how short it is.)
I am not saying this to be a dick, because honestly I have better things to do than writing a review this size if I were someone that just wanted to trash talk. Considering how you seem to delete comments of people that want to help you, by giving you advise I am probably just wasting my time.
Seriously what hope do you have into convincing people to read your story if faults like the one I mentioned up above already appear in the description of a story? People including myself will just say "Wow great another shitty story of a writer that can't get some basic grammar right and is too lazy to hire an editor." *Clap clap instant dislike!*
Now I am not the best when it comes to the grammar department either. I always say if I can read a text without the grammar becoming too much of a nuisance then screw those few mistakes (I assure you that I am not the only one with that mindset) and I enjoy the story. In the case of your description however I simply get annoyed by the constant repeat of the word 'and', and as such I didn't even bother reading the first chapter before posting this comment.
I am fixing it now and the reason bishop is showing no emotions is because he is not human.
5556838 Reply button does wonders. Just saying.
5556838 the problem with how you characterize Bishop isn't his lack of emotions but the fact that he thinks aliens "PONIES" are supposed to know him
this is his very first encounter with ponies like them , he has nothing about them in his data base , but.....he act as if they should know him and what's Weyland-yutani , try to fix this part a bit
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*Delete every comments that he judges too mean
tell me again how you accept other peoples opinions and Advices ?
trust me or not , peoples being "mean" is sometimes the best way to figure out the problems in your fic , by deleting the comments you're not helping yourself .
Of course you want constructive critisiscm about your fic , but acting like an immature kid isn't going to make peoples want to help you
In that case, with the genuine desire to see you improve as a writer, I suggest you please go here: School for New Writers
Thank you.
5554048 Pretty much sums up my rection to the number of deleted comments. Its like a criticism genocide occurred down there.
5570932 Indeed.
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One at a time, people! Let's go! This area is FUBAR!
I am not doing anything with this story til I get ideas to make it better
oh my god.
A kid writing an Aliens crossover =
Has too much bad grammar
Bitches and whines about people not liking this story
Is there a worse story? I don't think so, even My Little Xeno isn't this bad.
I HAVE OFFICIALLY SEEN EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING THIS UNIVERSE HAS TO GIVE
Wow.. Um... I'll say that wasn't really bad... But, well... It was pretty darn bad.