oh good lord

i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/242/149/8ca.jpg

WAKATCHA WAKAHANAHA!

Nooooooooooooooooo

Dude, you mix up past and present tense like a MOTHERBUCKER.

462882
1.bp.blogspot.com/-93XptpoYAFA/TrWyqRc135I/AAAAAAAABRA/Ih1b2AmUq4o/s1600/mlp+my+little+pony+meme+bronies+pinkie+pie+brain+is+full+of+fuck+jackie+chan.jpg

EXTERMINATE!!!

Are you alright?

462947
indeed, atm I'm just eating a bagel, working on some bills,
coming back once and in a while to see story reactions

462966 I think I ought a help you with this.
See me before you upload another one of 'these'

462966
Welp, if you are looking for reactions I may as well read it to give you mine.
Here I go.... Clopfic ain't my thang really, but that art is pretty damn cool.

funny thing is, i literally typed this, in 2 hours, geez i'll proof read in a second

Oh sweet Celestia... What did I just read?!

My brain needs some bucking mind bleach! Also, I meant the cover art for your story, not the bucking art in it...

Congratz, you have scarred this man for the next 72 hours (at least).

Alllllllrighty then...
.
.
.
*Picks up phone* Yes, hello, Acme Company? I need a 55-gallon drum of brain bleach delivered to me, STAT!!!

From a literary standpoint *can't believe I'm doing this* not bad, though you are using the wrong word in more than one instance, and your grammar could use a bit of tweaking.

463030
zam.zamimg.com/images/5/8/588bc6555a45d9778cbc5ae312f975c1.jpg

463042
indeed i'm very sorry for grammer, i like to speed through stories to get the plot down first,
making grammar corrections atm

When I thumbs down this, don't think its because I hate clopfiction, because I love it. But this fic really just wasn't written well. You really should take your time when writing fics. But the pics were nice.

463248
hmm
well atm im writing one shots to improve my grammar a bit, thanks for your insight

It is a Neighponese book, hmm?

463291
great idea neighponese, when i need it lol

Being a grammar nazi of compulsiveness which would rival Twilight's, I found this nigh- unreadable, too fast-paced, and extremely shallow.
So not exemplary, but not the worst clop-fic I've read.

The grammar and capitalization scarred me more than the story itself. Work on it!

463339
shallow... like a hentai?
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/146/808/batman.gif

>>PhoKingAzn

You beat me to it!

463586
i think imma make one more, like one shot, then im going to work on the other stories, i guess people really are grammar nazis

>> PhoKingAzn Pony grammar nazis I have an idea!
28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzuemr2AqY1r19504o1_400.jpg

In all honesty I disregarded grammar, because that was more than I even wanted to read!

463645
images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/5/25/c6069f43-73ff-494c-a979-c4b271f97955.jpg

I actually tried extending, the story a lot, really lol.
i tried to make it simple and long as possible

>> PhoKingAzn
I want to introduce you to my friend the adjective. He is very nice and makes reading fun!

4.bp.blogspot.com/-S-i7T5yymE4/TxhHJMgm7RI/AAAAAAAAAIU/abOKLJ8JuBE/s1600/confound-these-ponies.png

That is very true and sad for me. (Sobs and sips from a flask)

463673
28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzaxe7LOyO1r3856io1_500.jpg

>> PhoKingAzn
Ah haha that was perfect!

>> PhoKingAzn

gamesprays.com/files/resource_media/preview/mlp-twilight-raisins-meme-6010_preview.jpg

It begins.

>> PhoKingAzn

img.photobucket.com/albums/v704/Nikkoru/1541my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-pikachu-vs-poniesjpg-610x0.jpg

I win!

463712
cdn.crushable.com/files/2011/12/pony.jpg
damn lol

us11.memecdn.com/title_c_244116.jpg

PhoKingAzn is that you?

damn. for once the comments are better then the story.

i liked this story just so i could come back and read the comments again

463744
twentypercentcooler.net/data/3d/f0/3df0ea2fbb8a7f2c4bce47df9fe11160.png?1313055284

It was pretty good. Not the best but also not nearly the worst, not bad at all!

I saw you post nothing the last time PhoKingAzn!

i1224.photobucket.com/albums/ee379/Allison_Biechy/129982556490-mlp-1298358683679.jpg

Also this is what you are doing to people.

463803
you have my respect, your the first one on this comment list to have a positive, remark

463811
img717.imageshack.us/img717/4814/awesomepony.png

data.whicdn.com/images/22406409/1307359906084_0_large.gif

I beat you to that one and this is even better!

463831
troll.me/images/trololo/you-post-whorin-midnight-pony-me-too.jpg

463814 Bro, if you ever need an editor/second opinion on your fic i'd be happy to help, by the way. Just to let you know!

Final for too night had a great time and to keep the party going!

chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-its-party-time.gif

463839
glad to know

Hm... I've read/seen worse.

I love how everyone says this fic sucks, but I don't think it's that bad. I'm mean sure the grammar could use some improvement but that's really the only problem. Then again I'm not a grammar Nazi so that stuff really doesn't bother me.

2 hours huh, I'm gonna go with 'You were thinking over and translating a good amount of the time.'
It's okay, then again I don't have much grounds to say how it was.
Decent in the story department. (Honestly, I read stuff like this for story, not self pleasure.)
This was a fairly original concept, though I thought of such as well when it came to a pony on earth story where the main human was a criminal.
2 out of 5 spikes

interesting art you found there. I didn't actually look at it, I scrolled down until it was out of view and read around it.

469915
thanks for the insight