• Member Since 5th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen March 7th

Dieser117


Fav pony Luna, likes Star Trek, Halo, Mass Effect, and Doctor Who.

Comments ( 14 )

I'm not sure but I feel like I am the first to read this chapter, but anywhoodle, it was a pretty good chapter.

4914282 The people who downvoted the story I'm ashamed of because they don't give the writer a chance to put out anymore chapters and they don't really read the actual chapter or give it a chance if they find a problem with it.

Let it be known that I didn't downvote you but it seems that you really have one large issue that needs to be resolved first. Pacing, huge in every story but arguably most important in short to mid length smut (clop). Bad pacing can ruin any story and your first story is not even 2k long. Even with working with predetermined characters that the audience knows it is hard to write a good clop in less than 3k. For doing something while introducing new characters even harder I have only liked a handful of clop less than 3k but they are exceptions. Here is a good HIE clop too look up http://www.fimfiction.net/story/42008/sun-baked . Also if you don't have one get an editor every good author has an editor and the looking for editors group is always helpful. Hope this helps and maybe soon I'll see you on the front page.

I LOVE THIS STORY!!!

4929543 Thanks.


4928523 I am trying to work on the pacing of the story and any future stories.

One thing you could work on is the length of your chapters, it would give readers more to think on and wonder what would happen next. But anywhoodle, another great chapter.

4931568 That is what I trying to work on but I am trying to keep my readers and followers entertained as best as I can as well.

4928523 This isn't my first story, you should take a look on my story list before you jump to conclusions buddy boy.

after impregnating Nighty

You mean Knighty? If you do, I should definitely read this. :ajsmug:

4962359 ...Read this story's prequel so you won't get goddamn confused buddy boy. :facehoof:

4962391
I would if I was interested in anthro or clop. As it is, I do have a bias against both of those, so you would be performing a very uphill struggle. :raritywink: You'd really have to have something special to garner any approval from me. Sorry, but I don't want to read something that I'm almost certain I'll dislike irrationally. :duck:

Yet another good chapter.

Keep it up!!!

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