“Trixie Lulamooon, as the new Princess of Equestria, I called you here to decide your future,” I said as I watched the guards leave the room. “You fought against me and the other rebels in our war for a better Equestria...”
“Yeah, I know all that, just tell me what you want from The Great and Powerful Trixie,” she spoke in her arrogant tone, as always. It was unbelievable how even after losing a war, Trixie didn’t lose her pose.
“My allies want the death of all who fought against the rebels.” I made a deliberate pause, waiting for some change in her attitude, but I couldn’t notice anything.
“But I convinced them to give you a chance, the only thing I ask in return is apologize to the rebels in a ceremony this afternoon.” I forced myself to do another pause, still waiting for some reaction from Trixie. “So what’s your choice? Surrender or Death?
“I think I prefer death, Twilight.” The blue unicorn looked selflessly to her own hooves, I was able to notice a mocking tone becoming present when pronouncing my name. “I have the right to a last request too? Before dying, I would like to have some thing-”
I finally noticed what was so present in Trixie since she had stepped into this room: she thought all this was a mere bluff. I was forced to interrupt her. “Trixie, I'm not kidding. If you do not surrender, I'll have to hang you. The rebels demand it.”
“Uh-huh, of course, Twilight.” A slight smile formed on Trixie’s face and I was sure that I wouldn’t like what she would say next. “And will you hang the princesses too? Your brother? Your dear friends who abandoned you? They also betrayed you and I do not think they will surrender.”
When Trixie wanted, she knew how to hurt someone. I had spent the rest of the morning reminiscing about all we have passed on the war and crying about having to fight against my friends. In the most discreet way possible, I held my tears and took a deep breath. I would not cry in front of her. I never would show how much she had managed to hurt me, I still had my pride.
I knew Trixie was right, as much as I avoided seeing the truth, I knew that. Shining had his loyalty to the royal guard, and his love for Cadance, he wouldn’t surrender easily. But my best friends, or at least those who were once my best friends, I knew nothing more about them. We spent so much time away that I had no idea of what to expect from them. Especially Rainbow Dash.
“Trixie, don’t you see what Celestia did?” As much as she could be detestable, I did not want to be responsible for the death of anyone. “Think of the ponies you met and died of disease or some accident. They could be saved if it weren’t for Celestia!”
“I know well what could have saved the ponies I met.” She took a step towards me, the anger clear both in her face and in her voice. “You not starting a war!”
“This is your last chance to surrender. You can think whatever you like, but you have to make a choice now, Trixie Lulamoon.” I tried to sound serious, to show that I wouldn’t mind killing her. I tried to destroy the idea that it could have the remotest chance of being a bluff. “Surrender or Death?”
“Death,” she spoke in a low tone, it was obvious that she wasn’t so sure of the bluff anymore. But I could see in her eyes something I hadn’t expected to find: she seemed to try to be ready to die for a cause, the cause of Celestia.
“As you wish,” I said with a sigh. Celestia seemed to have brainwashed her allies. “Guards! You can take her, she will be hanged later today.”
I could see the scared look that Trixie exhibited when the guards grabbed her. Now she was sure there was no bluff and that she would have to prove her certain to want to die for a cause.
“Twilight, are you sure you want to start your reign with deaths?” Trixie's voice trembled with fear. Maybe the brainwashing of Celestia wasn’t that good. “Will you simply kill everyone who thinks differently from you? And do you think you will be better than Celestia doing this?”
I gestured to the guards to stop to walk, for the relief of Trixie. “We're not killing those who think differently from us, but instead the ones who support a government that prevents the development of the country at the cost of the death of their subjects.” I made another gesture to the guards continue their duty.
“What?” she cried astonished, being dragged by the guards. “Wait, Twilight! I changed my mind! I want to surrender!”
“I said that was your last chance coming from me. You better hope my allies have pity on you before the hanging.” I sighed as I heard the screams and cries of Trixie. As much as I disliked her, I hated to see her despair “And, guards, ask Chrysalis to enter too.”
“Yes, Princess!” the guards answered. I closed my eyes, making everything disappear, especially Trixie's face.
“You know you have to forgive some of them,” said Chrysalis, as she walked in my direction. “To show how tolerant we are.”
“I know, I know. But I'd rather forgive one of my friends than...” I made a grimace of disgust. “Trixie Lulamoon.”
“I understand.” Chrysalis decided to try to win the title of my adviser and she offered to help me deal with the weight of choosing the death of our prisoners. I know her intention is only to get more power, but she was really helping me. “Now it is better for us to get ready for the ceremony. You have to be there for her hanging.”
With another sigh, I headed to my room. My allies had placed several dresses at my disposal for me wear them in the various ceremonies that we will have until the end of the sentences. One of the dresses caught my attention, it was dark blue and white. It reminded me of a dress that Rarity had given to me for the Grand Galloping Gala.
I let a few tears fall before putting the dress. I missed all of my friends so much! But soon we'd be together again, as soon as they all surrender. So we would never split up again.
I went to the ceremony and sat in the highest chair, the most prominent place. I let my allies speak for me. And then they talked about the reason of the hanging and they explained that this would happen with all the prisoners who refused to surrender.
All the prisoners were there, they still trapped and had hoofcuffs. I avoided looking at any of them, especially Shining and Rainbow. The remaining of my best friends were sitting with the crowd, but they had guards around to prevent them of escape. They weren’t prisoners, but they would undergo the judgment for their betrayal when abandoning the fight.
I didn’t want to look at Trixie also, I didn’t want to see the life slipping away from her body. So I ventured to look at my best friends in the crowd. Applejack and Rarity were with her sisters. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle are then grown up mares and were sitting together, with their respective sisters on their sides. I didn’t see Granny Smith or Big Mac around, had something bad happened to them?
Fluttershy cried next to Discord, they were in the row behind Applejack and Rarity. Pinkie was in the right side of Fluttershy, with Limestone and Marble Pie, but I couldn’t see either of their parents or Maud around.
Soon I noticed a big red stallion coming towards my friends, sitting close to Applejack and Apple Bloom. Big Macintosh was alright! I recognized Babs Seed beside him, Apple Bloom’s cousin, hugging a mare, which I assumed to be her mother.
I still didn’t see Granny Smith or other Pinkie’s relatives. I managed to find Rarity’s mother a few rows away from them, but I didn’t see her father. I thought I saw Rainbow’s father, but I did not know him well enough to be sure.
I felt the panic taking my mind when I noticed the absence of Scootaloo. What if something bad had happened to her? Rainbow Dash would be so devastated! I would have to remember to ask the guards about her.
Before I could realize, Trixie's body was being taken from the gallows, lifeless. Everything was over. The crowd had been released to move on with their lives and the prisoners were taken back to their cells. Only me, my main allies and the soldiers who received medals of highest honor for their services stayed behind.
The banquet was just for us. I wasn’t hungry, but the others seemed not to care about the death that occurred recently. I put some food on my plate and the best smile I had on my face. Some of the soldiers came to see me, they thought it was an honor to have served the Princess of Equestria and I did my best to not disappoint them.
But the one thing that continued to resonate in my mind was a simple sentence that summarizes everything that happened on this day: Trixie Lulamoon is dead. She is dead. She will never see the sun or the moon rise up again. And tomorrow morning I would have to make a speech at her funeral, and then prepare myself for the next sentence.
The colorful tables and chairs seemed to mock me. The red tablecloth and chairs seemed to want to imitate the blood of Trixie. The decorations in shades of pink, yellow and blue seemed to want to emulate Pinkie’s animation, but they failed miserably. Nobody should be laughing after seeing one death. Nobody should be able to eat after seeing a life go away. For a moment I agreed with Trixie, we weren’t any better than Celestia.
As soon as possible, I made up an excuse and went to my room. I spent hours lying in my bed, unable to sleep. Trixie was dead because of me. I condemned her to die and I had yet to come up with a speech for her funeral.
I could not help but cry. In my years of war, I did not have to enter combat many times and I never killed anyone. The greatest thing I did was hurt them enough that they could no longer attack us. I wanted to improve Equestria and prevent deaths, not cause more.
I cried myself to sleep. But the images of Trixie, lifeless, being taken from the gallows haunted me all night. I could hear her crying, her despair. And I woke up in tears. I barely slept and I couldn’t sleep any longer.
After everything was ready, I went to Trixie’s funeral. I asked them to arrange the best possible funeral and to find out what her favorite colors and flowers were.I wanted them to incorporate everything they find out about Trixie in the funeral.
When I got there, everything was beautiful. There weren’t many people. The only living relative of Trixie was her father, who was crying desperately when looking at his dead daughter. The guests consisted of a few of her friends and some soldiers who had surrendered.
A cage large enough for an alicorn was near the coffin. Celestia had been authorized to attend the funeral, as long as she was stuck in the cage and surrounded by guards. Apparently she and Trixie became very close, as if Celestia wanted to replace me with the now dead blue unicorn.
I felt a hint of jealousy at this thought. I shouldn’t feel jealous of the two. Trixie was dead and I hated Celestia. There was no reason for jealousy. Of course I missed a relationship like the one I had with Celestia, but she ruined everything with her thirst for power and now I could only feel hate for her. Nothing more. Nothing.
I didn’t want to get close to the coffin and see Trixie’s face. Did the makeup artist manage to leave her with a beautiful look? I knew Rarity volunteered to make her dress. Trixie should be beautiful, anypony who wore Rarity’s clothes became wonderful.
A few tears slipped from my eyes. I miss Rarity so much! I miss all my friends so much! And Trixie’s death was my fault. My fault!
I forced myself to get close to the coffin and look at her face. The black coffin was fully open, exhibiting a body with a sad expression. Trixie looked so sad in that coffin, I couldn’t help but sob amidst my tears.
She was really wonderful, the makeup artist had done a perfect job, I couldn’t see the marks that the gallows had left on her neck. The dress Rarity made was dark blue, with Trixie’s cutie mark in white, it matched perfectly with Trixie’s beauty.
The lining of the coffin was almost the same color of the unicorn’s fur and white lilies decorated the coffin as much as the rest of the funeral. Who would have thought that Trixie’s favorite flowers were white lilies?
I caught one of the lilies of the decoration with my magic and put it in her mane. That got everyone's attention. Or maybe my sobs had done this before? Well, that didn’t matter anymore, I had to speak my discourse. I calmed myself and stopped my tears.
“Trixie Lulamoon was known as The Great and Powerful Trixie and I can’t deny it, she was truly great and powerful.” I had to take a break to not cry again. “She was great and powerful when she left everything to fight for a cause. This cause might not be the right one, but it's always admirable when someone has the courage to do this.
“She was also great and powerful when she agreed to go through ten years of fight, pain and suffering to defend this cause. And she was more than great and powerful when she accepted death to not let her cause die.” I was interrupted by the endless sobs coming from Trixie’s father. I wanted to hug him and apologize for everything, but I knew I, as the Princess of Equestria, shouldn’t do this.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie is an example of courage to be followed. And I hope that this courage lives forever in the hearts of everypony who knew her.” I had to make another pause, but this time I allowed a few tears to roll down my face. “Trixie, you will be buried today with the biggest title that I could give you. You will be buried today as the bearer of the Element of Courage and you will be an inspiration to everypony who hear your story.”
I stepped away from the coffin, giving time for others to talk about Trixie too. Without noticing, I ended up standing next to Celestia. I didn’t look at her, I didn’t want her to notice how much I suffered with it. I didn’t want her to have hopes that I would feel so sorry for her too.
“At least you still have a heart, Twilight,” said Celestia. She actually dared to talk to me.
I held my tears before answering her. “Don’t you dare to talk to me. She's dead because of you.” I kept my voice low, but I let all the anger I felt clear in my voice.
I left before she could answer anything. I heard a range of sobs and I refused to believe that they came from Celestia. It was easier to accept the death of Trixie, and the future judgment of Celestia, if I thought of my old mentor as a monster.
I didn’t stay to see the end of the funeral. I preferred to recover from all that happened. I still had to go through another judgment and perhaps a hanging before the end of the day.
not another one of these stupid tiwlight kills her friend sstories............ uuuuugh!
if the rebels demand death, dispose fo them. plain and simple. they are clearly garbage if after all they fought for they want to have ponies killed because of pettiness twilight is smarter than this.......... also there is no logical way for her to have defeated the regal sisters and cadance. they would be far too powerful, and she would not have access to her true strength without her friends.
sotries like this really do not work out. tiwlight is too smart for that and if she would be willing to kill old friends, then she would simply dispose of the blood thirsty bastards who would likely taint her new world if she is that insane............
and no it being a fanfic is no excuse. there is no way she could defeat the regal sisters. they are individually more powerful than her. and there is no army that can match them, and they already have theri OWN army......... their pwoers make them kinda immune to rebels.
heck it would have taken barely a wekk for them to overpower tiwlight. and they would NOT execute her.
4927399
My brain hurts from reading your comment.
downvoting my comments is not going to reverse the facts here. this sotry makes no sense. not only in tiwlight actually considering killing ponies, but in her even winning a fight against a vsatly superior force. chrysalis would be no advantage for her at all. chrysalis is also no match for any of the alicorns, and even cadance would be a challenge for her.
4927467 its simple logic. twilight, a very young alicorn, vs three older alicorns and a draconequs with barely any powerful allies. chrysalis is far weaker than either regal sister. and the likelyhood of the regal sisters letting this progress is impossible.
also the idea she would even consider killing her friends and family is complete bullshit and is enormously forced.
or if this not alicorn twilight, there is no indication.......... welllll it makes this story even further down into the bullshit territory.
4927507
I'm not saying your logic, I'm saying your typing.
4927518 typing does not matter in the comments. period.
4927523
It does if you want people to take you seriously and not think you're ten.
now I'm really, really confused as to how the featured box works.
4927530
It usually takes a lot more likes to get in the popular.
4927531 I know... Which is why I am so confused as to how the featured box works. This didn't get a whole lot of up votes in a short amount of time, and it got featured?
4927538
I saw it in the popular but not in the featured. It really only got three solid likes, having the dislikes take out the likes.
4927542 Pluas, the author probably up voted their own story... A lot of people do that.
4927549
That does get annoying. Though half of the upvotes on other stories could be an editor or proofreader. I've seen authors even favorite their own stories. Which doesn't make much sense.
4927527 so basically bad grammar negates facts such as draconequus and twilight defeating a vastly more powerful force just for the plot, and even more so her personality being altered to the point she would even conceive murdering her loved ones?
that is what people who know their stories are garbage yet want to ignore all criticisms use as an excuse.
4927555 a lot of the people I edit for do that, along with any other editors they have working with me. Also, I figured out how to view unpublished stories, and about half of them have an up vote. I'm also fairly positive Pen Stroke up votes his own stories too.
4927621 this story really does not deserve either feature nor topbox.
4927621
I haven't seen anyone I edit for do that, but I have seen them favorite thier own.
4927635 it was only featured for like, 2 minutes through. Maybe less.
4927641
I only up vote my own stories when I accidentally dislike them, because you can't un-downvote your own story... CAN you?
4927644 shrugs. has to be some kind of glitch. the story is quite flawed either way.
4927611
Grammar has nothing to do with the plot. I'm talking about yours. You've been on here for over a year, don't even have an avatar pic, have no stories and have not even a lick of sense for grammar. Knowing how to type is a essential trait on this site and you should know that after being here for so long, with your apparently amazing advice, that it's something that's mandatory.
4927654
I wouldn't think so, you can't do that with comments, stories and other things. But I know someone that down votes his stories on purpose. Reason being that he says that people will get curious as to why it's disliked, making them read it.
4927659 so you are a trolling me? greaaaat.
4927712
Do tell how I'm trolling you.
4927718 you suddenly jump on me because i made a criticism of a flawed story and say i have no right to make comments because i have yet to post a story.
4927719
That's not trolling, that's saying you have no experience whatsoever.
4927726 now that is you saying i have no experience because i do not bother with grammar in a comment section. unless there is a rule on fimfiction that states you need to have had made at least one story and have to write with perfect grammar in all the comments to have an opinion, then you are simply trolling, intentional or not.
4927749
Alright, a few things. One, PS4 or Xbox? Two, having the correct grammar in comments is one of those invisible, not written ones that you should already know. Lastly, I'm not basing your experience off a few comments. I'm basing your experience off your whole profile.
4927761 cause i have no interest in making an emoticon and have yet to post a story, which you have no idea if i am working on one or not, means my opinions do not matter?
4927774
Are you? It should be pretty good with you being on here over a year. And what does your first sentence have to do with anything?
4927785 yeahp making assumptions still. perhaps i have not been working on it for a year, maybe only a few months. why does it matter either way?
is the story flawed and the things i pointed out wrong? if i am wrong and this is the next fallout equestria, then so be it, but i gave my opinion.
4927817
I'm making assumptions based off facts. You've also given me nothing to be able to tell how well you can really write, I then am able to judge how I see you. And since this is gong nowhere and you don't seem to get what I'm telling you, avoiding the actual point if all my comments, I will say good day to you.
Till the next one
-R
4927507 Dude, what he's saying is that you should stop typing your comments like you would a bad story. Nobody wants to read a comment that looks like it was written by a three year old, no matter how much it is criticizing the story. Plus, it's a wonder most people would even take the time to sit down to puzzle out what it actually says. Shadow wasn't trolling, but trying to be nicer. I'm not trolling, but you're WAY past the point where someone needs to be blunt with you. Your comments look like they need an editor, and that's saying something bad. Spend a little more time on them to fix the grammar and spelling and you won't have issues like this.
As for your review, it's a fanfic. People are going to do whatever the hell they want. Authors may take creative liberties, or they may just use that premise of if it DID happen to set up what COULD happen. Take a chill pill, don't point out why a story couldn't happen in a canon world when it's a fanfic, and either take it or leave it. Don't start a small flame war in the comments because someone called you out on your comment being hard to read, just se what mistakes you made and try not to make them in the future. It makes you no better then the 'troll' that you're accusing Shadow of being.
TL;DR: You're being the troll, fix your grammar and spelling, creative liberties/AU for your legitimacy arguments, it's a fanfic. Deal with it.
4927835 I didn't start a flame war in the comments. I simply made my opinion known. That other guy jumps out of nowhere and has a problem. Also just because someone can do whatever they want does not mean they should normally. Ever heard of Ren and Stimpy Adult Party Cartoon? The truest sign of what censorship exists to prevent if there ever was one.
As you can see i am fully able to write properly if i wanted... I just don't want to.
4927860 You stated your opinion as outright fact, throwing any AU or creative liberties in the author's face. The other guy jumped only because your original comments were pretty hard to read and most people would have given up on them. The author can do what they want, it's up to you whether to read it or dismiss it - hell you can just downvote and leave and nobody would care. Constructive criticism is good, insulting their work isn't. You didn't outright throw a tantrum, which gives me hope, but the original comments structure argument could have been averted.
And yes, that was a small flame war. Let's get the comments section back on track, since it's more about this argument then the story, shall we?
4927901 I have gained a lower tolerance to these ideas. I have well often found if someone does not think of how a goes to be, the story is quite off. Here the a to b of how Twilight won against four demigods is not even thought on. I could, could, tolerate that if it weren't for Twilight even daring to think about having anyone executed. I could tolerate if she is trying to deal with rebuilding what she destroyed, not her killing off the ponies that mean most to her. That goes against everything that makes Twilight Twilight.
Its hard to give constructive criticism to a story whose very premise relies on great contrivance of the plot. Cause me saying she would not even conceive killing her friends and family kinda destroys the premise of the very story being told.
It's a working premise, but it definitely could use more polish. Has Twilight given a thought to what's going to happen now, like who is going to raise the sun and the moon? Will she get Celestia's side of the story, why she hid this? Will this story ever get an editor, because there are a lot of grammatical errors? Not going to watch this one, the writing is bland and isn't drawing me in, but it's got some potential.
4927945 Hello! So, things like what will happen now, the sun and moon, etc, I plan to go putting this information in the next chapters. A little each time.
Celestia will have her chance to tell Twilight her side of the story. She, Luna, Cadance and Shining will tell their motives for the war and for hidding everything.
I'm looking for a editor right now. English isn't my main language and I never really had English classes, so I still learning this kind of things.
Thank you for your opinion!
4927391 Hello! So, you can't know for what Twilight's allies fought. Twilight fought for a better Equestria, it doesn't means that every allie battled for it too. And Twilight knows it, and she knows even better how she can easy lost her position as a princess (and everything she fought for) if she doesn't make some concessions to them.
The sisters, Cadance and Shining Armor were using their powers for a long time uninterruptedly, so they could protect Canterlot. They were tired and their army was a lot more small now. Twilight was with a large army, changelings and the alicorn amulet. For me, it doesn't look really difficult to deafeat them, especially if the sisters were concerned with their subjects. And Twilight wasn't using the elements of harmony to need her friends. As much as she might be less motivated without her friends, she still can fight.
You may not have noticed, but Twilight is betting that her friends will surrender. Twilight herself admits, in the first chapter, she doesn't know if she could kill her friends and family.
Thank you for your opinion. If you have anymore question, feel free to ask
4927635 I agree with the stuff you said about the story itself, but dude that was a low bow.
4928014 Changelings are weak and rely largely on surprise; six untrained mares defeated hundreds of them. The alicorn amulet does not, in fact, make someone as powerful as an alicorn. Even Trixie is probably not even as strong as alicorn twilight with that amulet. Even then Celestia and Luna are far more powerful.
Als it is implying twilight would sacrifice people to obviously evil ponies who helped her. She could easily dispose of them without resistance and if she could have motivated this rebellion, she could motivate enough ponies and make them believe that these fools wish to make their world no better than it was before, and thus kill them instead.
There is no logical way she could have won this war. I could forgive that by itself, but it is clear that if she is willingly killing ponies to satisfy ponies she can easily dispose of, as she is somehow so powerful she defeated a draconequus and the regal sisters there is no way they could oppose her, just makes it that much more flawed.
This is not Twilight. She would figure out how to get rid of those who want blood cause clearly they are not going to help her create a 'better' world.
4927719 I'm starting to think this guy might just be the author on a different account.
4928062 ....I am criticizing this story..... How could I be the author?
>>....... Will admit that it was....
4928054 What makes the changelings that good in a war are not their strength, but the fact that they can masquerade as one of Celestia's guards. You can't say if they are one of your companions in battle or one of the changelings. They can attack you without you noticing they are there and they cause distrust among the guards, you can't say if this guy is really a guard or a changeling. And distrut can destroy an army.
About the alicorn amulet, we have seen little about it on the show, we can't be sure if it is really poweful or not. So it is just an assumption (both on my part as of your). And Celestia and Luna were tired too, concerned in causing more damage to their subjects and Twilight put a spell that could cancel their magic in certain parts of the castle.
Twilight's allies aren't just ponies, there are griffins, dragons, minotaurs and far more species. And if Twilight tried to fight them, she would lose the support of those species. I don't think she could win her allies + her allies species + the ponies who fought for Celestia and had surrender. And I can't think that the others rebels would buy the discourse of don't kill the ones who made them fight for ten years, but kill their own allies.
She never defeat Discord, and I already explained about how she defeat the alicorns
Her allies maybe will not help to make a better Equestria in the way you think, but they will leave her make the decisions to change Equestria. So she can make a better Equestria if she stay with her allies.
And I would like you to take into consideration that she is a Twilight which went through ten years of war. A Twilight who saw her friends leave her, who saw people dying in both sides of the war. If it will make her stay in power and make her save the lives of other people, she will kill some ponies like Trixie (who wasn't her friend. Trixie wasn't her friend in the show, let alone after ten years of war). Maybe she won't kill her friends and family, but that's another story.
4928062 I'm sorry, but we aren't the same person. And I couldn't imagine why someone would do this?
4928164 'Canceled there magic in certain parts of the csatle' that is simply laziness. Pure simple laziness. It is clear that their is more harm to befall equestria if they let it happen.
Not to mention the contrivance of her getting all those allies. They already know about changelings so they could negate that advantage. In the end of the day a is no equal to b in this situation.
Negate magic, i can't even believe that. That is simply lazy. Heck even in the show themselves magic is not negated, they create a barrier that prevents magic from being used around the horn.
4928102 not you the other guy you're arguing with.
4928205 .......... That makes even less sense.