Star Wars: Among Terror

by RadioBug15

Chapter 5: Chaos within Harmony

Hasbro to MLP, Star Wars to LucasFilms and LucasArts.

"Villains who wear black hats are easy to spot. Villains who twirl their mustache are easy to spot. Those who cloth themselves in good deeds are well camouflaged.

-Captain Jean-Luc Picard, "Drumhead".

---

"You have failed Mara, Vader will oversee your punishment, I am too busy dealing with other matters," Sidious said with anger in his voice.

"Forgive me master, I found out that the Stormtroopers that were chasing Deimos were carrying precious cargo, war prisoners and a weapon that could turn the tide of the war," Mara explained.

"And you have not told me? Foolish girl, why have you not retrieved it?" Sidious demanded harshly.

"It resides near the pit of a Sarlacc," Mara Jade answered.

---

"Who was that?" Celestia demanded.

"The Emperor's Hand, an assassin named Mara Jade, a force-sensitive who I have gotten... acquainted with, I have a personal vendetta against her because she killed someone close to me," Deimos said, Fluttershy gasped in shock.

"Who?" Twilight asked.

"It's personal and I tend not to talk about it, but the past is behind me, is there anymore questions?" Deimos replied nonchalantly, he looked back to see the six ponies look at him in sympathy, Celestia cleared her throat, trying to think of what to say.

"Who is the Emperor? And what does he rule exactly?" Celestia asked him.

"Emperor Sidious is the ruler of the Galactic Empire, just like in the name, it was an empire that held complete control over the galaxy," Deimos simply answered.

"The entire galaxy?" Celestia whispered in shock, how can one pony-er, man, rule an entire galaxy?

"Yes, the whole galaxy, he was a Sith Lord as I was but he was an embodiment of pure evil worst than Tirek," Deimos replied.

"How do you know about Tirek?" Rainbow said, glaring at him.

"The Unifying Force, it had shown me your past," Deimos said.

"The Unifying Force?" Twilight wondered.

"Yes, the force takes four forms: The Light, the Dark, the Living Force, which exists in all living things, and the Unifying Force, which allowed me to see a glimpse in your past," Deimos explained.

*Rumble*

"What was that?" Deimos asked, suddenly a school bus crashed through another one of the windows, the doors opened and a certain Draconequus walked out, wearing sunglasses, a golden tooth, and a shirt that said 'Diss-cord!', he snapped his claw and he was back to his normal old self.

"Thanks Magic School Bus, I'll call you if I need a ride again," Discord said, the bus's wheel raised as if saluting and flew off.

"Who is this?" Sana asked, Discord had a look as if to say 'excuse meh?'

"This is-"

"I am Discord, master of disaster, dictator of disharmony, Spirit of Chaos, and Sultan of Sweets, and who might you be kind lady?" Discord asked, wait a second, when was there a mustache on his face?

"Sana Un'iomen," she said, holding out a hand, which was shook by Discord.

"So milady, if you need anything, just talk to moi," Discord winked, his face suddenly painted white, wearing a striped shirt, black pants with suspenders and wearing a beret on his head.

"Deimos, Darth Deimos," he said, Discord's eyes widened, the air literally dropped several degrees.

"D-darth?" Discord stuttered, his eyes filed with fear.

Celestia was afraid, the fact that Deimos's very title changed Discord's happy-go-lucky mood to that of fear was of her concern, did they have a personal history?

"Yes Discord, I am Deimos, the Patron Sith Lord of Terror, the successor of Darth Phobos, who represented fear," Deimos cackled, the guards looked at him in bewilderment and shock, unable to keep their nerve.

"You wouldn't happen to know who I am?" Discord said, raising an eyebrow, trying to build up enough courage to muster a normal conversation, Deimos looked at him.

"No, but your voice sounds familiar," he answered, then the thought came to Discord,

"Come to think if it, yours does too, have we met before?" Discord asked Deimos, the ponies and Sana were looking at them both in surprise; two living embodiments of Chaos and Terror claiming that they have had history.

"We just met, how could I know you?" Deimos went through every memory that he could recall, but none seemed to have a mismatched creature that can bend reality, Deimos threw his arms up in frustration, dropping his cloak in the process.

Discord then saw his face, pale and yellow-eyed but still the same person he knew before in a different life.

"Kane?" Discord whispered, Deimos spun around and looked at him, his eyes no longer a passive yellow, but a blazing red that could set fire to the whole Everfree if he had the chance, he activated his lightsaber and lifted his hand up, force-choking Discord and levitating him to eye level, but Discord snapped his claws to escape the grasp via teleportation.

"That is not my name, who. Are. You?" Deimos growled.

"It's me old buddy, Jonothen Doscrid," Discord said, snapping his claws, turning into a man with mismatched clothing, as if poorly stitched squares of fabric, "Er, sorry," Discord snapped his claws again, this time in grey Jedi robes.

"Don't play tricks on me Discord, I've seen enough illusions to drive a man insane, if you are the real Master Doscrid, then tell me something that only both of us would know," Deimos growled, Discord thought about it, then spoke.

"When we were both in our teenage years as Padawans, I came up with an idea where we put dung mites in both of our Masters' bedsheets, no one found out who did it until they somehow moved into Master Yoda's quarters, when he found out, we swore this to secrecy and to take it to the grave," Discord said without missing a beat, Deimos deactivated his lightsaber and holstered it.

"It really is you, I now recognize that snarky sound you make when you try to prove something, oh what was it called? Your voice," Deimos scoffed, subliminally teasing him.

"It's great to see you too Kane," Discord said in his Jedi body, who immediately shut up after he mentioned Deimos's old name.

"So... what happened to you Ka-er, Deimos?" he asked.

"Curiosity and the Dark side make a deadly combination," Deimos said, he turned to see the Princesses and the Mane 6's jaws almost dropping to the floor, with the exceptions being Sana and Fluttershy.

"How do you two know each other?" Twilight asked.

"It's a very long story," Deimos and Discord said simultaneously, who was still in his human form.

"We're all ears," Twilight said, the others agreeing with her, especially Fluttershy.

"Ahem, in the beginning, the universe was an empty vast nothingness, all but a small little-" Discord said in a strange deep calming voice (AN: Morgan Freeman voice!!!).

"How about you guys's history back then?" Fluttershy asked.

If I had a heart, this would've been adorable, Deimos snorted, Discord shot him a look.

"Fine then, be that way; when I was imprisoned in stone, my body stayed on Equus, my spirit still moved freely and could leave the planet, so I sought out different realities to hang out in, I met a large black demon creature that had some sort of hatred towards a sort of samurai, a crocodile-looking dark wizard person with a ridiculous name, Rumple-something or whatever, I was even an omnipotent mischievous entity that made friends with people on a spaceship, but that's another story. Anyway, I had decided to be like the good Discord you see today and return to our universe, I used my magic to reincarnate myself as a Force-sensitive child, trust me, being born twice while fully aware of it was something I didn't want to experience again in my life, so I was taken in by a Jedi named Master Yoda, a Jedi today who is almost just as old as you Celestia, only he was better looking," Discord snickered, Celestia turned red in anger at both Discord's insult and her lack of knowledge of Yoda's appearance.

"I was trained as a Jedi Consular since I was quite surprisingly strong in the Force and no, I didn't alter myself in any way to become attuned to the Force, I actually have decent amount of Midi-chlorians in my body right now, so it wasn't until the Naboo incident that led me to meeting Deimos, he was a Jedi Knight at the time, we were both caught in a firefight between Gungans and battle droids, it was me that save us, so through the council, I became an apprentice to Deimos, back when he was Kane; yes Sunbutt, I was actually being taught by a mentor, surprising right? Anyway, I rose to the rank of Jedi knight when I was 25 in Jonothen years, I then went on to Jedi Master when I completed the Trials of Knighthood again, but Deimos and I became good friends, until you disappeared, I wonder if it had something to do with the murder of 3 Sentinels and 20 Knights..." Discord glared at Deimos.

"So I assume Deimos became an acolyte and eventually a Sith Lord, while I was killed in Operation Knightfall AKA Order 66," Discord's glare intensified.

"What is Knightfall?" Luna asked.

"It was the destruction of the Jedi order itself, a rule created in case the Jedi become a threat to the Republic, but it was a a scheme," Deimos answered.

"How many were killed?" Celestia questioned.

"Hundreds, if not thousands, tens of thousands," he said, everypony's faces filled with fear, shock, and anger, Deimos then turned to Discord.

"I had nothing to do with Knightfall, it was Sidious's idea and Vader carried it out, I was busy searching for an apprentice at the time, until Vader was aware of my presence, Sidious had no choice but to set us against each other, I would've come out victorious due to my skill of Lightning and Vader's lack of knowledge of it until the Emperor set the Shadow guards on me, who I managed to kill with mine and Vader's own saber, which was pulled out of my grasp and was forced to rematch; I managed to escape with only one major injury and several cuts and burns, then I met Sana, a former Jedi turned slave and prisoner, who I freed, we boarded an Imperial Victory-class ship and left the star destroyer ship, we hid in secret for years until we stole a transport/cargo ship to avoid raising suspicions, we manage to survive until we accidentally intercepted four TIE Fighters, 2 being standard class, the others being cargo and transport, we tried to get away from them but we ended up crashing here, with the TIE Fighters flying back to the Death Star, the Transport ship landing near the Everfree and the Cargo ship somewhere far out away," Deimos summarized.

"What I want to do is find repairs and leave this rock, nothing more, but I have seen enough of your civilization to figure out you are FAR from this advanced technology, I must return to the ship to check on the inventory that I brought with me," Deimos said, swishing his cloak behind him and walking away.

"What did you bring with you?" Princess Celestia asked, Deimos looked at her.

"I brought food, spare parts, and lightsaber crystals," he said.

"Well perhaps I can provide a faster means of transportation," Discord said, snapping his claws, everypony and everyone was transported to the ship.

"You guys do realize there are still the dead bodies of Shadow guards," Sana pointed out, Discord sighed and snapped his claws again.

"There, now they're six feet under," he said, Deimos entered the crashed ship, he pulled a rather large crate and opened it, revealing hundreds of glittering crystals, from the deepest of blue to the bright of magenta, Deimos walked inside and came out with a very small glass box, Celestia looked at Discord, who had a look of excitement in his eyes.

"You actually kept it all this time?" Discord whispered, Deimos nodded and opened the box, inside was the most beautiful lightsaber a Jedi could ever set his eyes on, a hilt made of pure white marble and pitch black ebony, glittered with rounded cut jewels of ruby, sapphire, emerald, pearls and onyx, the hilt was curved similarly to Count Dooku's, but was meant for the elegance of a Jedi.

Discord carefully grasped it and admired it's beauty, he then tossed it up three feet into the air and activated it; the blade was pure white, humming in radiance.

"It's beautiful," Fluttershy admired, she looked at the Dark Lord with a small smile on her face, as if thanking him for keeping it for all to see.

"It's very beautiful, it's crystal reacts to force users so only Jedi and Sith can use it, it also changes it's color according to force alignment," Discord explained, he handed it to Deimos, who refused.

"I prefer not, you will not like it," Deimos said.

"How bad can it seriously be?" Discord said.

Deimos sighed, "If you insist," he grabbed hold of the lightsaber, it faded from white to a menacing pitch black, Discord frowned at this, he truly was a Sith!

"I told you Discord," Deimos replied.

"Well... now that I have my lightsaber, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Discord said, popping into human form, holding two pickles and dish soap for some reason he looked at what he holding and made them disappear, "Sorry, Same Equestria, different heroes."

"If you're considering fighting with your newly found lightsaber, then I accept your little challenge," Deimos said with a fiery look in his eyes.

"Magnifico, let's get started!" Discord snapped his fingers, they were then warped to a large Geonosian Coliseum, thousands of Geonosians cheering on, the Princesses and the Mane 6 among them, who were confused.

"Set your saber to low power so we don't get hurt to bad," Jonothen Doscrid said, Deimos was still surprised Discord used his own name as an anagram for his Jedi last name.

"Sounds fair," he said, he set his own saber to minimum power, as did Discord.

They walked around in a circular motion until Deimos struck, Jon blocked, using the force to push Deimos back.

"Woah! It still work- gah!" Discord yelled as Deimos delivered a kick to the abdomen, he grunted and shook off the pain, each of them delivering strikes and blocks, blows and defenses,

Deimos resorted to lightning, knowing that Discord will block it, he raised his hand and sent a flurry of lightning at him, Discord panicked and blocked with his saber, Deimos walked over and attempted to strike with his lightsaber, but Discord ended up still blocking the blade.

"Are you crazy? That was messed up even by my standards!" Discord yelled, he raised his saber to strike, but Deimos caught the hilt, he twisted it out of his hand, the blade turned black, Deimos was uncomfortable with the tilted style of the hilt.

Note to self: perfect curved hilt fighting, Deimos mentally added.

"Surrender Discord," he said, Discord snapped his fingers and reansformed into his original self.

"No thanks," he said, the saber appearing in his hands, "I use magic, your argument is invalid."

Deimos grinned evilly at this, "Clever Discord, I suppose you get the first point on this... for now," his smile faded as Discord snapped his fingers and the world returned to the same old Everfree forest, Deimos walked inside the crashed ship, minutes later he came out with his own curved saber, he activated it, glowing an intimidating red, he swished it around before deactivating it and sheathing it into his belt.

"So now do you want me to show you 'round the place?" Discord said, Deimos looked at the princesses and the bearers, who looked at them both after the small rival fight, Sana just had a look of annoyance.

"No thanks, I prefer Twilight to show me more of what the place has to offer," he said, Twilight looked at him with excitement in her eyes.

"It would be my pleasure," she said, the purple alicorn trotted over to him, both walking beside each other as she began asking him questions, Princess Celestia looked at Sana in disbelief.

"Is he always like this?" she asked.

"His emotions are debatable, you can describe as crazy," Sana said normally.

"Guess it's time to take Luna and Sunbutt home," Discord said, snapping his claws before Celestia could respond to her nickname, along with Sana and the rest of the bearers to Ponyville.

This will be an interesting day...

Author's Note:

How did you like that plot twist with Discord being a Jedi in a past life an him actually acting sane in the past???

Comments

[ThatClosetBrony]

Cool stuff, cool stuff.

[RazorWing_GB]

I like that plot twist, very nice chapter too.

[Watcher Pumpkin]

Brilliant chapter buddy, and when I thought about Discord in his twenties at the Knightfall, this is what i found on the net. Glorious isn't it, just like he really was a Jedi at middle of the Clone betrayal. All credit to the painter on deviantART.

th05.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2013/108/3/f/sw_mlp__jedi_general_discord_by_madame_finitevus1890-d627arv.jpg

[Chernoboy]

Dayum. Somehow, it is kind of interesting and...logical?????

[RadioBug15]

5020859 I like it, but only Discord's Jedi form was human, looking exactly like Q, the link to his appearance is small, but it is the word "man".

Also notice how I added a Star Trek, Once Upon a Time, and Samurai Jack references in the fic also.

[Brian Core]

Alright. I just have to stop right here. The premise was interesting and the start of the story was good enough to hold my attention but as it went on, I can't convince myself to keep on reading. However I'll leave you with some pointers that can help.

The story is like driving on a rocky road. Full of bumps that upset the flow of the story. It's more of a personal gripe that everything is rushed and not enough details but as you said, this was your first fic so I will not fault you on that considering I was the same way. What effectively jars me out of the daydream world I mentally create to perceive the world you're trying to create is the screen cards you had from SpongeBob of all things. Apologies for adding some flame to this but I think I came here to this story to read a Star Wars/MLP crossover and lose myself in what hopefully was an immersive world which for the most part was. Not to get slapped out of said world whenever I see a timecard from the previously mentioned kid show which derails my mind from the story and puts that show in its place.

I can understand Discord being able to say, "Screw the rules, I'm the Spirit of Chaos" and go where he pleases despite being physically encased in stone. The tangent you went off of Discord becoming Jon Doscrid (and I caught onto that re-arrangement of letters of Discord's name. Nice touch btw) and training with Deimos was making the proverbial road even more rocky and what effectively forced me off the road was the sudden teleportation to a Geonosis battle arena where the indigenous population is actually cheering? I can see that simply being Discord warping their minds but that is just too much.

All and all, you have a great story idea and with some editing, it can dominate the featured board every time it updates. It may help if you reread through your own story and try to immerse yourself into the same world you were creating. If you get knocked out of the world because of something the situation does not call for, then edit it to where it becomes better. It doesn't have to be perfect but so long as its better than what it used to be then you are good to go. Another tip would be to have someone else read through the chapters before you post them so they can point out anything that disrupts their own immersion as well as fix any grammar errors and the like.

I'll say it again, you have a great story idea but it needs some editing to make it so much more smoother.

[Nitrous Rainbows]

Take your time, describe mannerisms and the setting in more detail. Use body language to subtly suggest what a character is thinking without saying it. Make your characters consistent, no sudden rage then nothing - at least not without a good reason. Also, avoid brony terms for characters (e.g. the mane 6) and don't use spongebob images outside of author's notes at the end of the chapter - it makes it look unprofessional. And don't use sudden plot twists that no one can reliably predict as often (e.g Discord = Jedi, various sudden attacks), have some build up and hints first.