Cafeteria Controlling
Chapter 0: Weird Welcomes
-ooooooo-
“Hi!” Sunset said cheerfully as she walked up to Canterlot High School’s somewhat recently repaired entrance. “Are you the girls I’m supposed to show around?”
“We are,” a head full of curly orange-and-yellow hair that went down to her waist announced as she stepped into the light. She wore a lavender and pink outfit complete with pink tights, a spiked gold belt, and lavender platform boots with even more golden spikes.
Two other girls stepped into the light right behind her. The girl to the right of the orange-and-yellow had purple hair that had teal streaks in it tied up in two ponytails. She wore a teal shirt with torn sleeves over a white blouse and tight, glittery purple pants that went down to a pair of purple platform boots.
The final girl had light blue hair with dark blue streaks which was tied up into a single pony tail. She wore a purple jacket with hot pink sleeves and collar, a pink skirt, and nearly knee high purple boots with white soles.
Sunset maintained her smile as she looked over the unusual outfits of the girls. No… Don’t say anything snarky… The rest of the school already hates you… Keep it together and be nice even if it looks like these three escaped from an episode of ‘Jem’ after they savagely beat the Misfits and stole their clothes…
After a brief round of introductions, where the girls identified themselves as Adagio, Sonata, and Aria, Sunset jumped right into the tour.
“Canterlot High is a great school,” Sunset said as she began to walk down the school’s hallway. “You’re really going to love it.”
The other girls began to follow her.
“Oh yes,” Adagio said with what appeared to be a slightly sinister smile with a tone to match. “We really sense there’s something magical about this place…”
Sunset said nothing as she simply looked forward, smile still plastered on her face. Okay, so Adagio says weird, ominous stuff… You’re used to weird… you’re friends with Pinkie Pie… You can totally deal here…
A short while later, and Sunset had pushed the oddness of the introductions aside and happily walked down the hall, pointing out various rooms.
“That’s the science lab, computer lab is in there… Oh!” Sunset rushed over to a crooked poster of an electric guitar with the words ‘Musical’ and ‘Showcase’ printed on it. “We’re having a big musical showcase this weekend! The whole school is pretty much rallying around it!”
Adagio made a quick gasp. “A… musical showcase?” she said in an interested tone as she flashed a somewhat sinister look back at the other two girls, who also flashed sinister looks at each other.
Sunset continued to give them an upbeat smile. “I’m sure since you’re new, Principal Celestia would let you sign up if you’re interested. I mean… she pretty much lets anyone sign up for anything regardless of any mitigating factors… Like them actually being a student! Or heck… She pretty much lets anyone become a student regardless if they actually have an ID on them or proof that they have parents or a legal guardian or anything!”
Adagio and Aria shot each other slightly nervous looking grins.
“Oh, we know!” Sonata said cheerfully. “Otherwise there was no way we were going to get into—”
Aria quickly placed her hand on Sonata’s face and pushed her aside. Sonata crashed into the lockers.
“OW!” Sonata cried from the floor. “Guys! Gravity stopped working again!”
Sunset looked at the display in front of her with a slightly befuddled look. “Uh…”
Aria absentmindedly examined her hand. “We have been known to sing from time to time.”
Sonata suddenly popped back up next to Aria, apparently no worse for wear. “Helloooooo~!” she cried. “We sing like all the time! It’s how get people to do what we want! You know… with our magical powers and everything!”
Sunset stared blankly at Sonata. Just… just power through it, Sunset. Otherwise there will never be more than a handful of people who like you!
Adagio turned and shot Sonata an angry look as she made a quick motion with her hand in front of her neck.
“What? What did I say?” Sonata asked with a shrug.
Adagio pointed at Sonata and smiled. “What you meant to say is that being in a musical showcase is a great way to meet other students.”
“Ooooooh yeah!” Sonata pointed at Adagio. “What she said I meant to say!” She smiled wide. “That’s what I meant… to say… but didn’t… because I said something else… that I didn’t mean to…”
Sunset stared blankly at Sonata.
“And what you would have said if you weren’t the worst!”
“You are!” Sonata cried. “The worst that is… I meant to say that… that you are the worst… And that I’m not… the worst.”
Aria rolled her eyes. “Nice comeback. Where’d you get that one? Collaborating with a bucket of hammers again?”
“Oh yeah! Well… I’m rubber you’re glue… uh…” Sonata paused and reached into her coat. “Just a second, I wrote this one down...”
Adagio sighed heavily.
Sonata pulled out a slightly wrinkled bit of line paper. “You’re… eggs, bread, milk, and five cans of hairspray…” Sonata looked up with a giant grin on her face. “So take that!”
Adagio quickly stepped in front of Sunset. “You’ll have to excuse them, they’re idiots.”
Sunset gave Adagio another blank stare then smiled. “It’s alright, I understand completely.”
>-ooooooo-<
“Snips! Snails!” Sunset barked out as she threw open a classroom door. “I need you two to...to… Are you two eating paint chips?!”
Snips and Snails turned towards Sunset and smiled, their teeth full of small, slightly tanned flecks.
“Isn’t it great?” Snips cried. “We found all this wall-candy, and it’s all free.”
“Yeah!” Snails agreed. “We even saved plenty for you!”
Sunset sighed and smacked a palm to her head. She reached into her leather jacket and pulled out a smartphone. “And you two wonder why I have poison control on my list of contacts…”
<-ooooooo->
“Oh hey guys!” Sonata exclaimed. “I just realized that Sunset might think we’re evil with some of the things I said!”
Adagio and Aria synchronized bringing their palms up to their faces with audible ‘Smacks!’
Sunset looked at Sonata and raised an eyebrow. “Okay… just… what?”
“We’re not evil, just so you know! We’re totally like… regular students and junk… And we’re not going to try to hypnotize the school and feed off all the student’s energy…”
Adagio and Aria synchronized raising their other hand to their own faces.
Sunset’s eyes darted across the three. Well… this is weird, awkward, and kind of creepy… Quick… Topic change… Topic Change… Sunset suddenly noticed Adagio fiddling with a large red jewel on a black choker around her neck. She quickly noticed the other two girls had them as well.
“Aheh… Those are pretty!” Sunset said cheerfully. She reached out for Adagio’s jewel. “Where did you—”
Adagio quickly shifted back and snatched Sunset’s wrist.
Sunset gave a slightly fearful look as Adagio clamped tight. Eak! Stranger danger… Stranger danger!
Adagio’s eyes widened slightly and she let go. “Ahahahehehehe… Sorry!” she said with a slightly nervous, apologizing look as Sunset rubbed her wrist. She touched her jewel. “These pendants mean an awful lot to us. We’d just hate for anything to happen to them.” Adagio smiled as she walked off, Aria quickly followed.
“Yeah!” Sonata said. “They’re totally the source of our power! I mean… if something happened to them, we’d like… be helpless and all our plans would be ruined.”
“Uh…”
“Also! We’re not evil!” Sonata added. “Not sure if I mentioned that…”
Adagio quickly reached out and grabbed Sonata, dragging her along. “Sonata!” she snapped. “Keep quiet or I’m suspending your talking privileges again!”
Aria chimed in. “Can we suspend her breathing privileges?”
Sunset gave the three a suspicious look as they walked off. Welp… That was… weird… I’m just going to go hang out with my friends who are hopefully less weird than… than all that today… Sunset sighed to herself. At least the bar was set really low this time around…
“Oh my gosh guys!” Sonata cried from down the hall as Sunset walked away. “This place has free wall-candy!”
“Sonata, I hope you get every type of cancer and then die,” Aria said.
Yeah! That preview. Just... why not hold a giant sign that says "We are evil" and be done with it?
Of course Sonata isn't evil!
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Sentences I never thought I would see in my life: Issue 1
And I am finding that even in fanfics, Aria is by far my favorite of the Dazzlings.
4959889 Mine too! Sonata's my second favourite, because she's the stupidest and reveals their plans! I wrote a story about a character named Lumin Aria, who her best friend calls "Aria". I didn't know that Sonata was anything like Aurora when I made her up!
4959843 Or one that says "We are not evil!" on it!
That was bee-zar.
I died laughing at Sonata's comeback. Seriously, you know how to make comedy. Please make more chapters!!! They are freaking hilarious!
4959868 that... Face....
Well, my two foot desk now has a three foot crater. Guess how that happened.
I love this chapter.
4960080
Yes. Just mildly exaggerated for comedic purposes. And I do mean mildly. They're... not subtle. In fact, a lot of this dialogue is word for word from the preview. On the other hand, this chapter did make them even less subtle than the clip.
Here, watch it and compare to see just how much of this is basically canon:
I lost it at "wall candy."
Sunset is the primary(read almost only) reason I am going to watch the movie at some point.
I like the explanation of her trying super hard to be friends as why she ignores all the obvious "We are evil" stuff the bad guy trio says.
4959868 D'aww, look at that face!
This whole chapter was a weird kind of cute, even old Sunset showing she wasn't all bad by caring enough about her minions to not let them die/get horribly sick while she finds new ones.
(The diamond dog boys from Rarity's short story might have made adequate muscle)
Okay, clearly I missed out on something grand here
I love this Sunset already And the Sonata even moreso.
Aria's more of a bitch than usual, but in a comical sense.
4959868 That face
No coherent comment can be made at this time, sorry
Heh. Nice touch.
So, Sunset dear, you have evidence of the new girls wanting to dominate the school as you once did, thanks to a motor-mouthed minion who can't keep her yap zipped when it's important... What will you do to foil them?
Liking this! Onward!
How long has Sunset BEEN in the human world if she knows that cartoon?
Sonata is just a lovable idiot and I love it
“Sonata, I hope you get every type of cancer and then die,” Aria said.
This is already everything I dreamed it would be.
That last phrase
Why is the heading different from the story name?
Anywho, this was pretty amusing.
HA
Oh no, Pinkie Pie broke the physics again!
Also, I have a feeling that Sonata would get on well with Snips and Snails...
Anyone else think of Phoenix Wright.
I'm sold. Time to read the whole thing.
I am totally in love with Sonata right now, she never got nearly enough screen time. I love how you wrote the dazzlings their interaction is so funny. And you actually made Snips and Snails funny instead of annoying! Congratulations on that!
I think I said that exact quote to Ingrid Newkirk in a letter.
HILARIOUS!!! THIS IS COMIC GOLD!
They're THAT kind of weird.
Better than an already pretty good movie. Nice.
Free wall candy
God damn this story is already hilarious r and I've hardly begun
This is off to a wonderful start!
Actually it’s called a “siren suit”.
It’s actually a rather catchy pun (and I learned that from this vid).
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You know ... I think your MAD AU has just suddenly got 1000% better than the show / movies ever were with this addition.
*missing 'she'
8450347
Fixed! Thanks!
5089144
I believe that Hasbro created "Jem" and thus they could be a real band in this continuity if the author goes a certain way?
Probably not going to take it as far as "The Elements of Harmony and The Savior of Worlds" did, with making G.I. Joe and Transformers also occur on the same Earth that both G1 and G4 Equestria link to (G4 coming many millennia later in the time-line).
I'd link, but I found myself needing to downvote that fic for moral reasons, despite it being very well written. Persons who don't care so much should probably read it.
:l
Are you related to snips and snails?