My Little Boutiqe of Horrors

by JayTheMann

Chapter Numero Uno

On the first day of august in a year not to long before ours, but in a different section of time and space, all of ponykind faced a threat unlike anything ever seen. And this threat, like many others, surfaced in one of the most innocent and unlikely of places.

The smog billowed up into the sky like huge puffs of smoke from the cigar of a city bum over the city of Manehattan. And the city as a whole was hard to look at for too long, but one street in particular made you want to snort motor oil just thinking about it. It was a miserable little suburb called “Skid Row”. And in this unremarkable little avenue, held a small, unremarkable little flower shop. Macintosh’s Flowers and produce was a shabby-looking brick building with a greenhouse with holes in the tarp out back.

Skid row was considered the downtown of downtowns, the cabs never stopped, and all of the food was slop. And one would never believe anything remarkable other than a Gang shooting or a Murder could come out of this town. But something could, would, and DID happen, and it Shure wasn’t no gang shooting.

Mr Macintosh sat at his large desk, with his beloved cash register polished and neat, however, it hadnt held a scrap of money in weeks. And that ticked him off greatly, his eyebrows angrily furrowed as he read his Newspaper. He looked up with a tinge of hope in his heart when he heard the door creak open. His face went flat in pure annoyance when he saw his second employee timidly walk into the door. “Well well Flutters, its good to see you finally show up” he said as she let out a squeak of surprise.

She blushed hard, making sure he couldn’t see her right eye “I’m sorry Uncle Macintosh… I meant to leave sooner…” Mac noticed how her hair purposely covered more of her face than usual. Without missing a beat he used his hoof to point his fan at her hair, blowing her mane aside and revealing the large shiner on her right eye.

“Fluttershy! What the heck happened to give you that shiner!?” Big mac said with genuine concern. Fluttershy simply looked down with tears brimming in her eyes

“W-what shiner?” Big Mac the had a pretty good idea of what happened

“ Sweet mother of Celestia fluttershy! Why do you stick around with that Dentist if he does nothing but beat on you!?” The anger In Big Macs voice was evident. His Father-like anger speech was abruptly cut off by a loud crash.

“DISCORD!” Mac yelled “what the hay is going on down there!?” His bellow was met with a small, gimpy, sheepish voice.

“Uhh, nothing Mr. Macintosh! Just a couple of flowerpots!” Discord emerged, covered in the dust of broken clay flowerpots.

Mr. Macintosh put a hoof to his face “What am I going to do with you?”

Discord brushed the clay dust off his shoulder "Sorry boss, i was just trying to get them all upstairs in one trip" he sheepishly bent over to try to pick up all the scattered pieces of flowerpot.

"Sweet mother Hubbard! How can we stay OUT of the red with all your clumsy-flank screw ups!?" Mac snapped angrily.

"Oh Uncle Mac, dont be so hard on him, he does his best" She said as she bent down to help him scoop up the shards. Fluttershy looked at discord and mouthed the words: "Tell him about the new plant" to him. Discord's eyes widened sheepishly and he shook his head quickly. Fluttershy narrowed her eyes and turned to Big Mac, If discord was too chicken to make Big Mac realize his talent, than by Celestia she was going to! "Uncle Macintosh, Discord has been working on something that will bring more customers in! why dont you *ahem* go get it!?"

"Well uhh umm.. you see Boss it's... *sigh* ok.." Discord huffed as he backed up, his babbling met an abrupt end when he backed up too far and fell down the stairs. Fluttershy looked at Big mac with a triumphant smile as they heard scuffling and a few thumps from down stairs.

A few minutes later discord came up carrying a small plant, it looked like a Venus Fly Trap, but its trap was more bulbous, and rounded than anything Mac had ever seen before. It barley stood taler than 2 inches, and it looked half dead.

"Thats it? Thats your answer for bringing in customers!?" big mac bellowed as he held the plant in one hoof. "Ive seen dead thorn bushes healthier than this!" Mac looked closer at the plant, its trap was even in a deep frown.

"Oh come on Uncle Mac, it may not look good now, but if we put it in this window sill," Fluttershy set the plant gingerly down in the stores front window "it will be healthy soon enough!" Mac was just about to chew the both of them out for wasting his valuable time but he was interrupted by the creaky sound of the shop door opening.

"Pardon me" An old green mare said "but i was moseying' by and could help but notice that interesting plant in the window, what is it?" the Mare inquired

"Well ma'am... its a... Fluttershy 2" Discord smiled as he looked at fluttershy. Fluttershy gave a giddy smile back at him. "Quite remarkable! this little sprout is SO interesting... that i might as well buy 50 bits worth of roses!"

Big mac sat in his chair, dumbfounded "F-f-f-fifty!?" He stuttered "Why of course young'un! do you have change for 100?" The mare asked as she rummaged though a large purse.

"No.. we dont.." Big mac said with hesitation, fearing he may have just lost a customer.

"Well! Ill be darned! i suppose ill just have to buy twice as many!"

Big mac almost choked on his own tounge "Wait.. ONE HUNDRED!?" Big Mac passed out and fell on his desk with a exaggerated sigh.

Fluttershy and Discord filled the mares order, and soon she was on her way our the door with a large amount of roses in her saddlebag. as soon as she left however, the plant simply fell over, looking completely dead now.

"What in the name of Celestia is wrong with that thing!?"

Author's Note:

Thank you all for reading! I hope y'all enjoyed! New chapter will be up soon!

- Zlindsay00

Comments

[JayTheMann]

I hope you all enjoy!

[Spiritofchaos227]

I feel as if you switched Discords and Fluttershys personalities... I LOVE IT!!! SOOOO CUTE!

[The Guardian and Friends]

You know, this actually looks really good. I'm a big fan of LSOH so this might be really goo-

Discord is a young shopkeeper in the bustling city of Manehattan

Discord is a young shopkeeper

Discord

Fuck me

[Spiritofchaos227]

4877085 :( You don't like Discord?

[Minevera]

I know "Feed Me, Discord" will be mandatory

[JayTheMann]

Ermahgersh! So many comments already!!! Im quite flattered fillies and gentecolts!

If you love this, then make sure to check out my youtube channel as well! (not TOO much brony vids on there yet, but school is starting so ill have acess to Imovie, so they will FLOW IN!) Love you guys!!

[JayTheMann]

4876989 Why, thank you! it was hard to force discord's whole superego into seymores puny, gimpish image, so i stuffed some of it into fluttershy, being the embodyment of Audrey, he character had some development room

[JayTheMann]

4876483 #Youareawesomeforcommenting

[Spiritofchaos227]

4880207 OH! I didn't know you were TRYING to do that! By the way, what is this a crossover with?

[JayTheMann]

4880304 Well, actually the Crossover is a strech, i just felt like because i was slapping skid row in the middle of manehattan and i plan to have "flutters" 2 to have the same demeanor as Audrey2 in LSOH, i needed to designate it as a crossover

[crashlanding12]

I'm gonna edit this for you cause you're my friend.

Paragraph 1: The word August in the first sentence of the story should be capitalized.

Paragraph 2: The word produce in the store name Macintosh's Flowers and Produce should be capitalized.

Paragraph 3:The word row in the town's name isn't capitalized in the third paragraph. Also in that paragraph, the words gang and murder don't need to be capitalized. AND at the end of the paragraph, you capitalized Shure, which is supposed to be spelled sure, and is not to be capitalized in the middle of the sentence.

Paragraph 4: The word Mr. in Mr. Macintosh is supposed to have a period after Mr. The word hadn't in the paragraph didn't have an apostrophe. In this paragraph, the word newspaper is capitalized. When the words "into the door" are used in a story, I think that the character ran into the door. I suppose you meant through the doorway, or something along those lines. The word "its" is supposed to have an apostrophe in the context you were using it in the dialogue of Big Macintosh.

Paragraph 5: There should be a period in between the word "eye" and the dialogue of Fluttershy in the paragraph. There should be a comma after the word beat.

Paragraph 6: Mac should be capitalized. There should be a period at the end of the paragraph.

Paragraph 7: There should be a period after "happened".

Paragraph 8: There is a space between " and the word Sweet. Fluttershy should be capitalized. Dentist does not need to capitalized. There should be an apostrophe in the part of a sentence saying "Big Mac's voice". "His Father-like anger speech" should be His angry father-like speech.

Paragraph 9: There should be a comma after yelled and "what" should be capitalized.

Paragraph 10: No mistakes for you in this paragraph. I applaud.

Paragraph 11: There should be a period after face.

Paragraph 12: There should be a period after shoulder. "I" should be capitalized. There should be a period after Discord's dialogue. And "he" should be capitalized.

Paragraph 13: No mistakes in this paragraph. *applauds again*

Paragraph 14: There should be a period after "best". Discord should be capitalized. The words "to him" aren't needed in the paragraph. There should be a period after Mac, not a comma. Discord should be capitalized again. "Why" should be capitalized.

Paragraph 15: Mac should be capitalized.

Paragraph 16: There should be a comma after "later". Discord should be capitalized. The comma after "bulbous" isn't needed.

Paragraph 17: Big Mac should be capitalized. The word "I've" should have an apostrophe.

Paragraph 18: There should be a comma after "window". There should be a comma after "time".

Paragraph 19: There should be a comma after "me". There should be a comma after "said". There is not supposed to be an apostrophe after moseying, unless you were taking away the g. There should be a period after window, not a comma. "What" should be capitalized. There should be a period after inquired.

Paragraph 20: Fluttershy should be capitalized. The word "this" should be capitalized. A way to tell that the old mare is talking at the end of the paragraph would help.

Paragraph 21: Mac should be capitalized. There should be a period after "stuttered". The word "do" should be capitalized.

Paragraph 22: Mac should be capitalized.

Paragraph 23: There should be an apostrophe in " I'll ". I should be capitalized. There should be an apostrophe in I'll.

Paragraph 24: Mac should be capitalized. Tongue is spelled wrong.

Paragraph 25: "As" should be capitalized.

Paragraph 26: And last but not least..... No one knows who is saying the last sentence.

This took me a long time to find all of the mistakes. Oh! And... the title is spelled wrong. It should be My Little Boutique of Horrors. The story is good so far, just has quite a few errors.

[heavy weapons brony]

Badass

[JayTheMann]

4899323 Whoa.... i was gonna jus have my mom Proof this, but since i have a list of mistakes here, ill do that! Thanks Crash!

[JayTheMann]

4901058 Thank you my good friend!
Have a sandvich! *hands you sandvich*

[heavy weapons brony]

just like the fic, that was just what I needed