Stupid grit his fangs, trying to shake off the massive migraine in his skull. Opening his eyes he found for once that a bright light wasn't being shined in his face-
"Like, oh my gosh! Stupid, you're awake!" Celestia shined her flashlight into Stupid's eyes. "Now we can start!"
"Princess Celestia?.." Stupid covered his eyes with his hoof. Much to his chagrin, the light just shined through the hole in his foreleg. "Start what?"
"SLUMBER PAR-TAY!" Twilight cheered.
"What." Stupid monotoned.
Stupid looked around and found himself in a... tent? It was made from his blanket hung off something, pulled tight to go as far as it can and nailed to the floor to make a small right angle triangle. It was at room temperature, and he didn't smell anything he would find outside, so he assumed he was still in Twilight's castle, maybe.
"Oh, oh! I know what we should do first!" Celestia clapped her hooves together, shooting a knowing look. "Let's talk about colts."
"Ohhhhhh, you first, you first!" Twilight giggled shyly.
"WELL," Celestia paused dramatically. "There is this totally cute stallion with black fur and turquoise eyes who I think might be intooooo meeeee~"
"No, WAY!" Twilight gasped.
"He busted into my throne room, and told me he was going to make the night, last, forever!"
"That is sooooo romaaantiiiic~!" Twilight swooned.
"So where are we?" Stupid questioned.
"Oh, we're in our super secret base!" Celestia smirked.
"Only cool fillies allowed. No lame mares or silly colts!" Twilight rolled her eyes.
Stupid poked his head outside the tent and saw he was in Canterlot Castle, Celestia's throne room, to be exact. The tent was hanging off the backside of Celestia's throne. He saw two guards look at him with fear. Much to his concern, his changeling sense told him they weren't scared of him, they were scared FOR him.
"So, Twilight! Are there any colts yooooou liiiike?" Celestia teased.
"N-No way, I don't wanna say!" Twilight pouted.
Stupid gently turned Celestia's head to the left and right, checking to see if she had an concussion.
"Oh come on! I told you about my tall, dark and handsome!"
"W-well, there is this one colt..." Twilight fidgeted.
Stupid put his horn to Twilight's, making sure she wasn't brainwashed.
"Every time he laughed, my heart just skips a beat." Twilight played with her tail, looking down shyly.
"Awwwww, that's so cute!" Celestia squealed.
"He threw me into the crystal mines and told me he'd come back for me later~..."
"Oooooooo~..." Celestia waggled her eyebrows. "Sounds like some mare had a good time."
"Yeah, well..." Twilight couldn't wipe the dumb grin off her face.
"Alright Stupid, your turn!" Celestia gave the changeling a mischievous grin.
"Yeah, we told you what colts we like, you can't back out on us this time!" Twilight insisted.
The implications that this had happened before troubled Stupid greatly. He stared at the mentally unstable mares quietly.
"...Alright, why not. I've committed to stranger things." He shrugged. "So, Big Mac has a really nice butt."
"Ohohohoho!" Celestia laughed. "After the big apple are we? What do you think your odds are?"
"Well, I think him and Fluttershy have a thing going on now so not so good to be honest."
"Kill her." Twilight whispered.
"Tonight." Celestia morbidly added, nodding her head slowly.
Stupid Doll quietly contacted the hive and ordered someling to have the Element of Kindness put somewhere safe and very well hidden. He made it very clear he wanted the changeling standing in for her to sleep lightly and to run at first sight of an alicorn.
"You know what they say, a good friend helps you move your couch!" Twilight started.
"A best friend helps you hide the body!" Celestia finished.
Stupid found himself pulled into a group hug. Deciding reality was beyond repair, he copped a feel off Twilight before the two alicorns inevitably killed him.
"Ooo, Stupid!" Twilight giggled flirtatiously. "Save that for tonight marefriend!"
"Tonight," Stupid stated. "What's going to happen tonight?"
"Hey babes!" a scary voice called out, opening the tent.
"Moony! No stallions allowed!" Twilight complained.
"Hey, if he wants to come in, I don't have a problem with that." Celestia rubbed up against Nightmare Moon.
"Out of the way mares! I'm here for that hot piece of flank!" Nightmare Moon pointed at Stupid. "Hey baby, ever been with a real stallion before?"
Stupid rolled his eyes. "For the sake of infiltration, yes actually-"
Before Stupid could respond, he heard a gasp from both Twilight and Celestia.
"MOONY!" Twilight shrieked. "THERE'S A SKELETON in your body!"
"Really?" Stupid sighed.
"Oh no, OH MAKER NO!" Nightmare Moon screamed in fear. "GET IT OUT GET IT OUT GET IT OUT-"
"I'LL SAVE YOU CHEESECAKE!" Celestia screamed. She pulled a bat out of... wherever ponies store things in their nonexistent pockets and started beating him.
"KILL IT! KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!" Twilight screamed, ripping Nightmare Moon to pieces with powerful blasts of magic.
Stupid was watching the display stoically, wondering how in Tartarus he was going to explain to the gates of heaven the circumstances of his death. Eventually the two mares stopped, leaving an unrecognizable bloody blob on the ground.
"Did... did we get it?" Twilight sniffed.
Twilight and Celestia leaned over the pile of scrambled pony on the ground, shaking with fear.
"...Yeah I think you got it." Nightmare Moon's voice came from the mess.
---
Stupid awoke with a small gasp, looking around. He was in his guest room, it was all a dream. Sighing, he laid his head back down against the pillow.
And felt a hoof stroke his chest.
"What's the matter, baby?" Nightmare Moon whispered.
For the first time since he was five years old, Stupid screamed.
3spoopy5me.
Happy Nightmare Night ponies!
My iq dropped at least three points from this I think....
Hahaha, awesome. Just the right amount of insanity.
That was fantastic.
FHAHAHAHAHA
what.
Do changelings ever send messages to the hive in their sleep? Perhaps seemingly urgent messages for ponies to be temporarily kidnapped?
It would be funny if it *was* canon and this was a setup for Fluttershy to be not herself for a little while.
5208355 he broke mine, too.
Damn it, Pickleless, did you forget to take your pills again?
Wat.
what.
WHAT!?
Anyways, wierd male NMM...
this is the kind of thing that only Mr Popo could write... while on Marijuana...
I LOVE IT!
No stick or bat, just a glorious cookie.
Damnit, you're off your meds again..
Don't you remember what they said would happen?
Men, take him away.
*A group of people in white coats barge in with tasers and a straightjacket*
Good Faust
5208464
I AM THE TURTLE YOU ALL MEAN NOTHING TO WHAT'S RELATIVE IN MY-
*Gets zapped.*
If this would be cannon, it would be a pretty big turnaround...
5208478 *Watches as the men take away the insane person that is now drooling on the carpet*
You were warned....Mwahahahahaha...
I have no reason to beat you, because I'm going to join you
At least in spirit, I can't write anything good even if it was to save my life
Just before I got to the ending I said, out loud, "What the fuck am I looking at?"
So.... was Stupid a mare during his dream, or what? I consider Changelings genderless by default with the exception of Chrysalis, but I want to know if he was a stallion, mare, or changeling so I can decide how loud I laugh.
5208546
He was still a stallion.
That was...certainly a thing that I read. ...Yup...
Make it inception canon!
FINALLY something got to him! XD
I have only one importent word to say on this:
Wat?
*sits motionlessly, staring at the monitor for several minutes, his face contorted in an expression between 'wat' and 'wai', with a small dash of 'such wow'*
*gingerly reaches out for a stick, considering it from every angle before discarding it.*
*pulls out a bat*
WHAP
Bad author!
WHAP
Posting chapters without an editor pass!
whap
I thought we had something...
whap
...something special
...When did Halloween turn into April Fools?
O.o...
*starts reading the chapter*
Oh! New chapter!
*Keeps reading*
Wat?
I...
Uhm...
*Reaches two thirds of the chapter*
No... Nono...
I cannot brain today. I has the dumb.
Well... that was certainly... a .... thing.
I wonder what a psychologist would read out of ... that.
We need a second thumbs up button to click on.
5208665 around about when this chapter came out.
Don't worry everyone...I am a professional...and I am qualified to provide the help you need... now is there someone here that is qualified to provide me with the help I need
You know when you've been on the Internet too long when something like this become the norm and be easily shrugged off.
...perhaps I need to get ou more.
Wait...
THERES MORE?!OH GOD YES
Here i thought i would read something quite Frankly stupid. nut you have certian talent My good sir Now Anyone want to go with me On an Epic journey To MidgÄrd?
Needs seqal
[youtube=http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yw7dlXrkrEU]
Not even going to ask.
Just...
I am not even going to ask at all.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Huh... Never added as well...
I wonder why? Ah well, here ya go:
24.media.tumblr.com/a257ad5165644b1f79354634dfdee284/tumblr_mqo61uYbwk1rj6vd5o1_400.png
~Skeeter The Lurker
I hope you won't delete this chapter. Everyone needs a good does of 'WTF just happened' every now and then. The new readers would be deprived of this glorious meth-induced creativity.
...
I shall proceed to shove my legs down my throat, become a ball, and roll away.
I read this as, Feel free to beat me with a stick over any types or grammar issues.
Ha! took me a little bit to get the jist of this chapter, but definitely enjoyed it. Go loony shenanigans!
5208673 Copying memes is tons of fun.
Next time eat a salad.
Can we keep the Ending? Please?
Don't apologize for this, it was pretty funny. Don't even make it non-canon, it works fine as a Nightmare Night interlude dream.
This was my reaction to this chapter.
I love it.
I have a message from my brain. It says, "Fuck this, I'm out." *brain leaves*