this... this is what i wanted.
great job, and tell me if you do another one with vampiress flutters.

It was a good concept, but occasional run on sentences, forgotten spaces (like "no one" turned into "none"), and misspelled words detract from the experience. I suggest copying the story and pasting it into a Microsoft Word document, or asking for an editor.

This is so beautiful! Long Live Fluttermac!

This is pretty damn good. A couple of errors but its all good.

Very nice. Would have preferred he came to the "I love her even though she's a vampire" thing on his own, but eh. I enjoyed it.

This is good, do a sequel please, maybe with AJ or someone else as well. In fact just do a series of Flutterbat making everyone her sex slaves.

Vampires, were wolves, ghost, goblins, and ghouls.

were wolves, ghost

were wolves, ghost

i1.wp.com/www.funnywallphotos.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/a-game.jpg?resize=500%2C483

You forgot to make "ghost" plural to match the rest of your list and have a space in the word "werewolves". You made two mistakes in the first sentence of your description.

4655593 I tried my best.

were wolves

4657879 Great movie that one.

4657697

troll.me/images/hungover-spiderman/oh-shit-nigger-what-are-you-doing.jpg

needs proofreading and editing, badly.

4657697 What do you mean, you tried your best? Were you the editor?

4658161
Yes, and actually, I don't see any of the edits I made here. Huh. There has been a derp in communication.

4658650 So the writer completely ignored your edits and suggestions?

4658650 Considering how your name wasn't in the description, I would assume so.

4655550 Yeaahhhh, probably not gonna happen. Sorry, mate, but this was a one shot.

4655593 I'll get to work on some of those grammatical errors ASAP. Glad you liked it though.

4656338 Yawp, I'm glad you enjoyed it

4656383 This was more of a one shot story and concept, mi amigo. Sorry. But I do like the sound of that idea though...

4656893 Well we don't always get what we want but I'm glad you liked it.

4656940 As old as that troupe may be it remains a good one. I'm glad that I was able to apply something good to the classic idea of horny vampire wench story, and I'm glad you liked it.

4657482 Yeaahhh nooooo, the story Juicing the Apples already exists for that purpose

4657682 Chill your shit, mate. You pointed out the error and I'll fix it.

4657879 This shit...it is too late at night to be laughing as hard as I did at that. Thanks for the point out, I promise I'll fix it.

4658650 Now Bob, of course I put in your edits. But they were mostly punctuation ones so they might be hard to notice unless I neglected to see some really bit s**t in there (please note that I only edited what I saw in red). I'll go over it again to see what I missed. And I thank you for everything you did in proof reading, Bob. don't you dare think I ignored any of your edits.

4658762 4658769 Actually, BobtheLurkers name is in the authors notes section at the bottom of the page and I accredit him to his proof reading. If it is customary to put the name in the description I apologize for the breach of etiquette.

o_o
>_>
<_<
:C
This is a spooky concept... I find the notion of brainwashing people to be nauseating and extremely uncomfortable. To brainwash someone into loving you even more so.
You always seem to make good stories; I can only hope you continue to do so.

4658884

Sorry man, I did a lot of semi-colon things and those might be hard to see. I thought I was a good grammar Nazi but I guess not so much...

I don't know why, but Big Mac cursing is really sexy to me.

Great story by the way. The ending wasn't quite how I expected it to be. That's what I loved the most. Besides Big Mac cursing, of course.

i love the works with sex and the orgins you put in the climax.

4658884 I usually imagine, when reading the comments, that the pony usually shown below the username is talking, but I have difficulty trying to think of how yours would sound...

Oop, must've missed him. Just wondering, do you use GDocs for editing and writing? It's very convenient, hence why everyone uses it.

Using his index and middle fingers

Wait, is this story about humanized ponies? Because ponies have hooves, and i see word "fingers" repeat itself a lot.

(He bat-like wings fluttered slightly from her back. ) "Her" not "He"

(Mac’s face turned down into a scowl. Of course she would be the one she was hunting.) "he was hunting" not "she was hunting"

4660801 There is the anthro tag.
4660772 I use Microsoft Word.
4658884 Yeah, it is typical to put the editors name in the description. This story was good, and I was glad that I decided to read it and not ignore it.
Just review your stories better I the future, and I assure you they will succeed.

noticed quite a few spelling mistakes but the story engaged me enough to not care about them.

4658884
I always just put the name(s) in the author's notes.

Where did you get the picture in the main story page from?

Knowing how much I loathe brainwashing and mind-breaking in stories, I am amazed at just how much I loved this story. The way you combined all the elements and built up to it, as well as my own personal favorite fetish of femdom, it all ran together like the sweetest syrup. There were some moments that I didn't really like, mostly all at the beginning, but they were all forgivable. If I could like and fave twice, I would.

This. . . I enjoyed this.

Oh man, this looks spooky.
i.imgur.com/giA6ceb.gif

Was kinda hoping for redemption, but not every story needs a happy end so this is fine too.
There's a bit of confusion at the beginning of the fic up to Mac being knocked out - you mostly refer to the cloaked-vampire-of-unknown-gender as "it", but there's a bunch of places where you write "he" or "his". It's no big, but a bit distracting.

DAFA--- mind breaking down from awesome overload

4665409
But there could totally still be redemption! What about AJ?

4664628
You're damn right it's spooky. 2Spooky4Me.
I'm going to keep an eye on my wife for the next couple of nights now, make sure she's not some vile temptress brainwashing me into loving her so that she can have access to my Pog Collection.
Trust no one, my friend - No one.

4659695 I'm glad I could make you feel as uncomfortable as possible I hope to make god stories as well

4659877 Eh, I just thought the cursing fit the situation, super glad you liked it though!!

4660170 The layout of that sentence confuses me, please help me understand

4660521 Hmmm, try male, with medium pitch and a dash of vibrato (but not a sexy amount)

4660801 Yes this is an anthro story, I much prefer human body structure with wings/horns to full on horse mode

4661302 Good, because if the spelling errors took away from the story it wouldn't have been very good to begin with in my opinion.

4661993 It's ummmm NSFW, I got it off Derpibooru but I can't link it without a little trouble from moderators

4662051 I'm sorry that our fetishes didn't collide so well but at least we can both enjoy the story as author and reader. And "the sweetest of syrup", I laugh too hard because that phrasing just...IDK it make me laugh

4662272 Glad...I am glad

4664628 Spooky...maybe not...but hopefully sexy

4665409 I kinda preferred Fluttershy getting away with it in this situation because it made me feel a little icky to just kinda kill her after all that. And it was REALLY uncomfortable to just keep calling Fluttershy "it" but I couldn't say "her" because it being my favorite yellow Pegasus was supposed to be the "big reveal" (even though we all know).

4665806 Can I have the spare parts when you're done? I need a few extra brain parts.

4665823 NO!! There is to be no redemption. Big Mac and Fluttershy are to be together forever whether he knows it or not!!

4669784
For context, I read this story almost immediately after waking up.

Damn it, Mac! One tiny slip-up and now you have a rapey undead girlfriend. Yeesh, grow a Will save.

Seriously though, it was fun, but there were a lot of grammar errors. Well, that, and there wasn't a lot of Fluttershy in this Fluttervamp. I think it would have been a lot more interesting and dramatic if Fluttervamp visibly struggled with the implications of what she was doing instead of just enjoying herself fully and expecting/not caring if Big Mac did too. Really, the way things turned out it begs the question of why she didn't just hypnotize him in the first place, unless she enjoyed his entirely verbal resistance. Also, the last line of the story definitely should have been Yay~

SO...
MUCH
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That ending though... Makes me thirst for a sequel!

4669784 ababa ababa oh my god that was hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also like the image for the cover.art. ;-p
N.

4669784
i find spelling errors in written works are like plot holes in movies, video games and the like.
if the story draws you well enough in they don't really matter.

4669784 oh...i see...

4669784 oh...i see...

Love the cover art this story was great and I hope there's going to be a sequel but if not that's OK too I am going to read this again and again the story was amazing

God dammit, the majority of NSFW fics are anthro, I hate anthro ponies. :/

Thought it was going to be good but it turned out to be bad and had hella grammar errors this was not what I signed up for

4708952 I'm really glad that you like it I do try so hard to make my stories great so that people will come back and read them again to feed my already enormous ego :D

4713527 But the real question that lies in this is did you like THIS story, anthro ponies or not?

4924009 I can apologize for the spelling mistake, but I can't apologize for not liking the story