Uhh... hello, guess I should introduce myself first, right? My name is James. Yes! Just James, I guess my last name doesn't matter that much anymore, not that I will get away from this place anytime soon. If you want, Jimbo is what my friends call me, so that will work just as well.
Aaanyway, where should I start? See first thing I know I'm at this comic convention, after finally completing a costume for myself that took me quite some time to work on... First everything went smoothly, got to see a lot of interesting stuff... until some things went very wrong and I woke up somewhere unexpected. To be honest, I really thought I'd kick the bucket right where I ended up, but as it turns out, not only the place has changed... apparently I have too, to an either spectacular, or disturbing degree.
I'm currently residing in Canterlot Castle, someplace royal and regal, first class in other words to the populace of this entire nation called 'Equestria'.
The reason? The royal pony sisters made me stay here until further notice...
Yeeess, I did say royal pony sisters, because guess what? This land is ruled and populated by relatively small candy colored equines, who just happen to call themselves "ponies", even though it's highly debatable regarding their appearance to regular horses from earth, meaning they are sapient (human intelligence), and are capable of many more humanized facial expressions and gestures, some of them more illogical then others! (Physics and her sister Biology went to sleep It seems).
With two mares called Princess Celestia and Princess Luna at the peak of their Hirarchy, these ponies live in harmonious peace with each other (yeah right and I bet they have the word criminal "not in their dictionaries", as if!)
...
Really now, give me pirates gone wacko any day, but ponies? Seriously?! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!
...
Anyway I decided to write down my story for safe keep, in case someone may be interested to learn what the hell happened to me.
So lean back, as I will once again tell you, done that a lot lately by the way, how my current, and very much unfortunate situation, came to be.
Join me as I explore this new world I was thrown into... or watch me do something stupid every single minute I spend here.
Hopefully 'nopony', gets hurt, or else I won't have a chance to- *grumble, growl* AAUGH! NOT AGAIN!!
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An MLP x One Piece crossover, set up as either a 'League of Humans Acting Villainous' or 'League of Humans Acting Heroically' story.
Rated teen for vulgar language. And other atrocities >_>.
Also first attempt on a story, that I may or may not continue.
I regret nothing!
It's good, but you need to stop with the unusual terms of phrase, and just "not a friend of words" other than that Great!
4627886
The problem for me as a non-english native speaker is, that I sometimes just don't know how to word something without making it sound to foreign or odd.
'Unusual terms of phrase' is therefore a point, that I still have issues with, especially since this is one of my first attempts at story writing, so I don't even have a particular style down yet.
Do I want something sound simple, complicated, upscale or just casual? I still have problems finding that out more or less.
PS: Thanks for the comment btw.
4628018 I like it so gave and a thumbs up
4744393 Much appreciated, hopefully I will be able to write a bit more soon.
4628018
reading your description, it sounds like this is something i'd hear at a tavern after my ship docked at the local port in Pirate Times. this makes me think that this story would work in a more "casual" sense. of course, it's your story, so you can write it in any way you want, and to tell the truth, you should. don't let people tell you "the way you write is funny" because, like you said, English not being your first language is hard, not that i would know, or anything.
basically, do what you want, how you want to.
though Friday Knight does have a point. if you use weird terms that are too foreign for any normal person to understand, people won't get the full effect of the story. my advice for this is, search around the internet (try to stay in the... cleaner areas of said interwebs), look for terms that generally match the ones you're using, and use those instead.
of course you could just stick with what you got and say "it's my writing style" which is a perfectly good excuse to write in a certain way.
aaaaaand i've over-complicated it.
sorry.
4792850 thx I will take your words at heart
just, why
this isn't much better but it'l have to do
5328863 If you give me a more fitting phrase I put it in. :)
...some people must not like poop jokes.
5487989 Probably, but the thing is poop and diarrhea is part of Magellan's character.
He does have those problems, and originally I didn't want to make this disgusting or appalling but just laughable at best.
Yes, finally, happy to see this story continue.
I'm glad your back now i can call off the hitmen(tis a joke by the way dont arrest me)
Rabid wolves
the whole "lost in the woods" schtick
Ridiculous. You used the same word correctly in the next sentence.
6132706 I blame auto correction.
Fixed, thanks.
more plz
Soooooo. Do you have any plans to continue this?