• Member Since 18th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen 31 minutes ago

Gargon94


Hi! I like playing Minecraft and reading stories with changelings. If you need a changeling hive, you can use my mysterious Shadow Hive in any of your stories.

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You might be thinking, who is Emperor-prince Gargon? Well, he is a human turned into a pony a alicorn to be exact. He and his family and friends go on an adventure of a live time, form being the rulers of a new country, to going to other universes.

Inspiration for this story is from iowaforever,s story The God Empress of Ponykind

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 24 )

'Prince Porkchomp' heh.

Sometimes you don't need to read a story to know it's bad. This is one of those times.

4597208 As soon as I read the discription, I immediately lost any hope I had for this story.

Why do people keep writing this sort of shit?

4597269

Because around the middle or end of season 3, the fandom became "mainstream" and now we've inherited hundreds of thousands, possibly millions, of the same summerfags that have been plaguing /b/ for years.

Also it's the fucking internet, what did you expect

4597281 This fucking fandom became mainstream and flooded with newfags in late 2011

4597339

It was always full of newfags, these are just the newfags of newfags

'Emperor Prince'?

Just what the fuck does that even mean?

Whoa. This is a whole big bag of leftover bad HiE parts.

So, speaking directly to the author, I'm going to go ahead and tell you that you are on a dead even course for a complete train wreck. Between the fact that this is another damned Human in Equestria story with another damned self insert who is another damned badly thought up alicorn OC is going to send this story in a flaming downward spiral. Not to mention the term emperor prince isn't used ever since the. Holy Roman Empire fell.

Oh look at that, a human turned into an alicorn story. It's not like we have seen those before.

My honest opinion...
*sighs*:facehoof: I can see this story going into a trash compactor, taken out and put into it again...
These types of stories are overdone, there cliché.
And pray to god that if he is red and black I will whoop your ass!:twilightangry2:
:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:
Extreme much?:unsuresweetie:
Also saying it's your first story is comparable to opening a wound near a shark...

No more text walls please! It hurts my eyes and it's harder to track.:flutterrage:
Space it out more, we need dialogue, we need more descriptions.:facehoof:
If you don't do those then go back to my earlier comment.

Only giving a nice dose of criticism...:twilightsmile:

Bit of advice. Any self-insert alicorn OC stories? Keep them in your diary or private folder. They're not something you show other people.

The problem that I see about this story is that their doesn't seem to have any direction to it, as in we see that the world population have been transformed into MLP characters for no apparent reason and their is no clue of what things are building up to. The fact that we learn that the protagonist become a prince in the future make it confusing to link how he got from middle class kid to prince of his own principality and that the first chapter and that in the second chapter we see that he and his family quickly come to terms to their new realty and doesn't sound that concern of the state of the world; that doesn't make him sound very proactive on his part seeing that he managed to elevate himself to a monarch at some point in a country that is generally opposed to the idea of divine birthrights. We have seen this trowp many time so and their is nothing to it to set it apart from those. We don't know much about the character either. I would suggest that you rethink your story entirely if you with to continue it.

6808128 Ok, well this is was just the beginning and to set the background for him before the more exciting things happen in other worlds.

6808143 have you planed out your story in some measure, because your character has a long way to go before he becomes a prince. I would also suggest that technologies get as sodden nosedive, by some catastrophe , and all the infrastructure would be damaged beyond repair so that their is enough disturbed world that all the worlds governments would collapses, money would be worthless leaving the rest of humanity to fend for it self and would allow anyone to become a warlord to rise up and create their own fiefdoms. your character could become a warlord at some point or become a peacemaker during that time. hope this helps a little.

6808190 Well, its only the humans living in America that were changed in to ponies, griffons, and changelings. The rest of the world will be unsure of what to do.

6808274 I am not telling you do everything I have told you, theses are just suggestions that could help you think of a better idea of how it happen. you might also wand to revised chapter 1 the characters sound completely disconnected of the events that has append to them, I am surprised that they are not glued to the tv and not panicking, or straggling to understand what append to them.

Children? Not Foals? :raritywink:

Alicorn from the start? I hope at least they have to put some seriouse training into Flying and magic use...

No more humans, only non human... Interesting concept. What could possibility go wrong :trollestia:

I forsee a lot of trouble and a lot of dead people/creatures :applecry:

What change humanity? Has Discord some fun on the humans expense?

How can they take their stuff with them? I doubt any human clothing fit. Or even backpacks...

A Alicorn is basicly a imortal being. I guess he earnes his place over the next decades ? Give a man/woman enough time and he will grow into his shoes and prove himself. Alternativ they die trying...

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