Sup. I'm gonna go write stories now.
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When Opalessence eats too much, she goes on a rampage around Ponyville, which results in her being arrested.
Hey, this is my first story! Yay! Well, anyway, I went through and, at midnight, hit enter what felt like a million times to destroy the accursed "wall of text". Your welcome.
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But, I guess kudos for writing from Opal's point of view?
You get a thumbs up from me!
4572882 Yeah, that picture basically describes the entire purpose of this story. Think I should add a random tag?
4572896
Probably?
4572901 Alright. It will be done.
Do you remember one time that Spike saved Opal from falling down at that play?
4573270 yeah, I know what you mean.
What about it?
4575027 Something for a story: What would happened if Opal spend some time with the one who saved her life, Spike?
BTW: Good with coming up ideas bad with writing stories.
4575081 first:good idea..
Second: that's not very nice.
Third: any ideas in how to make it better?
Oh, and also, it was based on a story I wrote in fourth grade, so I knew it wasn't gonna be great.
And it was also ( God, I'm saying also a lot) it is my first story.
...
Alright then.
Not going to pick through for errors, of which there are a few; you should do that yourself to hone your own skills.
Here are some suggestions to help you improve your writing.
Parenthetical asides to the reader are generally frowned upon.
Callbacks to in-show dialogue are not always clever. When you write something like this, ask yourself: "does it actually make sense for her to say this, or am I just trying to be clever?"
4865959 okay, I'll make sure to watch out for those things in the future.