Rainbow Dash was flying around Ponyville as usual, when she ran into an unexpected visitor. Discord. She had always hated Discord. She still hated him even after he found the last key. It wouldn't make up for what happened in the past.
"Hello Rainbow Dash." said Discord with a nasty grin on his face.
"Hi Discord." she said rolling her eyes.
"What do you want?" she asked crossing her hooves, still flying.
"I'm here for my weekend visit with Fluttershy. I'm here the whole weekend." Discord said smiling. These words made Dash stop flying, she was frozen, plummeting down to her death. Surprisingly, Discord shot down and caught her just before she hit the ground. She was unconscious. Discord didn't know what to do next. Luckily Fluttershy walked by.
"Discord! What are you doing?!" she asked, looking at an unconscious Dash.
"Fluttershy! Thank Celestia! I'll explain later. I need your help! I don't know what to do!" he said seriously.
"Okay Discord. Calm down. Let's take her to the hospital." said Fluttershy. She and Discord got there and Dash got taken into a room, while they waited in the waiting room.
"Now Discord. Tell me what happened. And I want the truth!" stated Fluttershy sternly.
"Okay. Well, I was telling her how I was staying for the entire weekend. Then, out of nowhere she started falling down. And as much as I dislike her, and she dislikes me, I caught her just before she hit the ground. That's the truth." Discord said seriously.
"Okay. That better be the truth. I trust you." Fluttershy stated. Just then Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Twilight came into the hospital.
"Fluttershy, we heard what happened. News gets around quick in Ponyville. Anyways is she okay?" asked Twilight nervously.
"We don't know, we haven't gone in yet." Fluttershy said.
"Wait. We?" Applejack asked. Everyone then saw Discord. They all gave him nasty looks.
"What?" asked Discord confused.
"What did you do to Dash?!" asked Pinkie.
"I saved her life." Discord said with pleasure.
The others looked shocked.
"In case you don't believe me, here's a replay." Discord being Discord, pulled out a screen and replayed the whole scenario. The others just stood there in shock.
The nurse motioned them to come in. Dash was waking up.
"Girls? What are you doing here? Where am I?" asked a confused Rainbow Dash. Then she spotted Discord.
"Discord." she said angrily.
"Now, as much as I hate to admit it, you should be thanking him. He saved your life!" explained Twilight. This explaination made Dash stop and she felt something inside her feel different.
"Wow. Uh thanks." she said still in shock. The doctor walked in.
"Look who's up. Well Ms. Dash, it looks like you can go home. With these words, Dash shot out the window feeling something she didn't want to. Love.
Woah, plummeting to her death? Like *that?*
Lemme remind you, Dash is the best flyer out there! Pretty sure she would have caught herself and remembered to flap.
This is a good concept, but you rush it waaay too much!!!! Slow the pace down, yeah? Don't rush, you will get what you want written in good time, don't worry!!! If you add more details, like surroundings, feeling, sensory details, it will slow the pace down appropriately, and make it easier for the reader.
Ya feel me? :)
Nice I love this so farM da shy and Discord?! Nice!
4582596 Yeah this is where I stopped reading... This story needs SOOO much more detail that it is not even funny! And the hole... "Oh no Discords spending the weekend with fluttershy!" Is not going to make her pass out and fall to her death... This is just very weak story telling to me...
I must say it was good but I think it was a bit rushed I'm so sorry if I'm being rude but please slow down the pace. And for all of you out there DASH PASSED OUT she didn't just stop flapping she passed out jeez pay more attention.