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Featured In19

More Stories7

  • E Words are Louder

    Derpy Hooves tries to befriend a certain purple mare new to Ponyville and its social stigmas.
    5,455 words · 1,293 views  ·  124  ·  0
  • E Clash of the Heavenly Titans

    What do you do when living goddesses start pranking?
    8,740 words · 1,923 views  ·  166  ·  1
  • T Mezza Voce

    Octavia digs into Vinyl's past after upsetting her when she accidentally destroys her shades.
    28,145 words · 3,128 views  ·  163  ·  2
  • T For Want of a Dawn

    Sometimes, in order to discover one's own self, they must venture into the depths of hell.
    225,592 words · 6,660 views  ·  675  ·  22 · gore
  • E Blood is Thicker / The Reluctant Reunion of the Redoubtable Rabble-Rouser

    Two stories about the relationship between The Great and Powerful Trixie and Twilight (Non-shipping)
    43,751 words · 2,587 views  ·  258  ·  7
  • T Shadow Over Ponyville

    Rarity sticks her nose in where it does not belong, to wonderous (and disastrous) results.
    13,743 words · 1,074 views  ·  53  ·  3
  • E Bug and Stalker in: The Infiltration of Blueblood Manor.

    Princesss Luna suspects Prince Blueblood is up to something and sends two wanna-be spies to investigate him.
    8,012 words · 263 views  ·  8  ·  2

Blog Posts87

  • Tuesday
    Retro Reviews Season 2: May the Best Pet Win!

    3 comments · 25 views
  • Sunday
    Solemn Story Status

    1 comments · 109 views
  • 1w, 1d
    Retro Reviews Season 2: The Cutie Pox

    1 comments · 31 views
  • 1w, 4d
    The Failings of For Want of a Dawn

    So I've been sitting at my computer for a while, doing more work on Mezza Voce when I hit a part that allows my mind to idle. Specifically, I think back to the biggest undertaking I have ever done; the 225k words of For Want of a Dawn and I realize some truths and remember some things I had planned out to be, which never came either because I forgot about them, or... well, I shall get to that. For now, have the list of things I wanted to do that came off the top of my head.

    (Spoilers beyond)


    - Every General of the Equestrian Armed Forces was to have a chapter of development and with each one the war would take a turn for the worse. Only a tiny part of this became reality in the opening of Chapter 20 (Siege of Manehattan) with General Portland

    - Gilda was supposed to be the prime antagonist to the generals, along with a dragon that never got written at all and any plans have been evaporated.

    - The turncoat Huffington Crusaders (Chapter 6 - Wanted) were supposed to become a less-than-noble alternative to Vinyl Scratch when it came to hunting down Twilight Sparkle. By accident, or design, they would have been killed by the time of Chapter 11 (Battle of Appleloosa), which in itself was supposed to have more going on in it, but I forget.

    - Governor Ironhead was supposed to be given a chapter of character development explaining his origin, a brief touch on the other golems created by the Queen and his own budding concerns and reservations about his monarch's declining mental state.

    - The Party Poppers would have been responsible for several 'accidents' that would have been blamed on Twilight because convenient scapegoat.

    - Rarity, Pinkie, Fluttershy and Applejack would have each received big sections, or a whole chapter for the four of them, going into better detail about their operations and ways of thinking. Pinkie's made it in during chapter 20 (Siege of Manehattan).

    - Twilight was supposed to find a journal Zecora kept while in the Canterlot dungeons better explaining the breakup of the Crusaders and Derpy's demise.

    Beyond those omissions there were a couple of other problems...

    - Bad planning: How do you think I forgot all of these? And these were just the major ones.

    - Scale: I'd never tried to do anything even half as expansive and intricate as this.

    - Time: After the initial fervor wore off, it became increasingly less about writing it  as I envisioned and more about just getting it done. It even got to the point where I cut out half of that stuff thinking they were superfluous and that the plot could hold without them. It does... but not well.

    So, in short: to me For Want of a Dawn is a failure of a story from my perspective because of what it could have been had I known what I was getting myself into at the time. You, the readers, might have had fun and enjoyed it, and that's okay. I just wanted to share would could have been now. Will I ever make fixes to it, like Mezza Voce? Right now, no. It'd be a huge project and Mezza itself is a can of worms from just changing around ONE concept and it's only a little more than a tenth of the length of For Want right now! The omissions are easy to fix, but the other more subtle points? Maybe in the future, but I have other things I want and need to do first.

    I hope you all enjoyed reading this... and I hope you can forgive me for not making For Want of a Dawn as good as it was supposed to be. v.v

    6 comments · 135 views
  • 2w, 22h
    Retro Reviews Season 2: Sisterhooves Social

    2 comments · 30 views
  • ...
 153
 9,308

Some things in this world happen by chance. Others do not. Twilight Sparkle is about to learn a disturbing truth that will turn her world upside down.

- Originally written May 2011 for Deviant Art

Reading this story first is strongly recommended:

(Blood is Thicker) http://ciroton.deviantart.com/gallery/26378692#/d3e1ndq

Credits:

~Image by JohnJoseco~ ~Edited by BrotherPrickle on Deviant Art~

First Published
8th Apr 2012
Last Modified
8th Apr 2012
#1 · 137w, 3d ago · 1 · · Redemption ·

Finally! Thank you for uploading it here :twilightsmile:

#2 · 137w, 3d ago · 2 · · Redemption ·

I see you decided to put this story on here as well. I'm going to say that this story was one of the two fanfics that really got me into MLP fanfiction (no regrets). I was literally shaky after reading this originally (story drew me in that much, again, no regrets).

#3 · 137w, 2d ago · · · Redemption ·

Woooo! Glad you could make into Fimfiction, this is Benny by the way.

#4 · 137w, 2d ago · · · Redemption ·

This was the first MLP fanfic I ever read, happy you uploaded it here.

#6 · 137w, 2d ago · · · Redemption ·

Ugh, why do the chapters names have to remind me of the Twilight saga? :pinkiesick:

It's still a great story. :yay:

#7 · 137w, 2d ago · · · Redemption ·

Can't wait for your other stories to show up here as well.

#8 · 137w, 2d ago · · · Redemption ·

Glad to see this on fimfiction as well. I really loved this story. :3

#9 · 137w, 2d ago · · · Redemption ·

Despite how silly and strange Twilight being a golem was, I have to admit this story was written pretty well and was a very entertaining and engaging 'what-if' scenario. However, the sequel, as I attempted to read was just far too long for my taste with such a concept that really doesn't stay appealing for the length of a novel.

Still, entertaining story none the less. :ajsmug:

#10 · 137w, 2d ago · · · Redemption ·

Completely epic.:pinkiesad2:

#11 · 137w, 2d ago · · · Redemption ·

For the life of me I kept thinking the name was something else (And that it was already on here).  Thank you so much for putting it on FIMFiction so I can read it again!:twilightsmile:

And that is the most epic picture in ponydom.

#12 · 137w, 2d ago · · · Redemption ·

Awww :pinkiesad2:. Why doesn't this story have more views? It's well written, it's has a very good plotline I've never seen before, and the emotions and characters are well written to. This story deserves more views.

#13 · 137w, 2d ago · 1 · · Redemption ·

The "Oh, by the way, Trixie is your sister" acknowledgements didn't really add anything.  It feel like a pointless attempt to keep this fic in continuity with your other story, even though there was no real reason to do so.    It's not like Trixie had any role in this story.

#14 · 137w, 2d ago · · · Redemption ·

AWW YEAH!! my favorite story is on the site? I'm so happy. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::yay::yay:

#15 · 137w, 2d ago · · · Redemption ·

>>424938

True, and I realized this a little while after it was first published, but I am not the kind of person to go back and change things once something is published, no matter how much I may want to facehoof over it. Like the ending to My Little Muffin: lackluster and a deus ex in hindsight. :facehoof: So unless I decide to do it over from scratch (which is a lot of time and effort) it is not likely to change.

#16 · 137w, 2d ago · · · Redemption ·

wow i remember this story it was the first one i read on equestria daily man i loved this story.

#17 · 137w, 1d ago · · · Redemption ·

Wait, this has 700+ views. How's it BELOW "My Little Sister" which is a oneshot poem with only 180 views?

.....FimFiction is stupid like this when it comes to the "popular" stories list.

On a lighter note, you're on FimFiction. HUZZAH!

I was apparently very late to the party for reading this. For Want Of A Dawn was already out and had like 4-5 chapters. But it's still awesome all the same. Trackfaved and thumbed (up) with a passion.

#18 · 137w, 1d ago · · · Dawn ·

That's quite a skeleton in Celestia's closet.  I LOVE IT!!

#19 · 137w, 1d ago · 1 · · Twilight ·

And now Twilight is content with the knowledge...OR IS SHE?!

#20 · 137w, 1d ago · 3 · · Moonrise ·

"My entire life is a lie."

And then, an insanity that makes 'Lesson Zero' look like a tiny tantrum.

I mean, YIKES!

#21 · 137w, 1d ago · · · Eclipse ·

WOW.  That was amazing.

#22 · 137w, 1d ago · · · Redemption ·

AWESOMENESS!!!!

#23 · 137w, 1d ago · · · Redemption ·

so this is what happened: :twilightsmile:  :twilightoops: :twilightangry2: :facehoof: :twilightsheepish:

I was wondering when you were going to post sunset to this site.:twilightsmile:

Though I am surprised this does not have more views.

#25 · 136w, 6d ago · · · Redemption ·

Oh, hey, this made it here! Is your in-progress fic going to make it to FimFiction at some point? :D

#26 · 136w, 6d ago · · · Redemption ·

Yay! Soon "For Want of a Dawn" will be here, and I won't have to suffer dA anymore! :yay:

...on the other hoof, though, I have been stuck on Drifting through Draconia ever since it was posted. I am SO bucking behind right now... :facehoof:

#27 · 136w, 2d ago · 3 · · Twilight ·

I give her one night's sleep before she kicks into super OCD mode.

#28 · 136w, 2d ago · · · Redemption ·

Hmm... this was a surprisingly nice story, a story with forgiveness and sin both. Not something I could see happen canonically (all that stupid spirit of the show, etc. etc.) but that being said? This story rocked.

#29 · 136w, 2d ago · · · Redemption ·

This is seriously one of the most genius ideas I've ever heard of for a story, this was a amazing story. Good job.

#30 · 136w, 1d ago · · · Redemption ·

This was an absolutely amazing read. I enjoyed it thoroughly and spent about 4 hours on it! I loved your use of names for twilight and the princess. And I nearly cried when she called her mom. Adding tricked as a sis was a nice touch too! Anyway, awesome read and watching you!

~LadyRinoa~:heart:

think this was the second fic i ever read, and probably the only so far that i have re-read. this one was also the real start of my fanfic reading :pinkiehappy:

#32 · 136w, 8h ago · · · Redemption ·

You know, Twilight should be tagged separately from the mane six as she is the most important character (likely she was untagged do to them being collapsed into a single tag).

#33 · 135w, 6d ago · · · Redemption ·

Great story. Bravo.

It was an interesting concept, having Twilight being a golem. Something I would have never expected.

#34 · 134w, 2d ago · · · Redemption ·

This is my favorite story of all time, I love the plot and the events and suspense and the tension amongest Twilight and the other characters. Flawless story.:twilightsmile:

#35 · 133w, 6d ago · 1 · · Dawn ·

You need to post ''for want of dawn' here. I'm watching you

#36 · 133w, 5d ago · · · Redemption ·

I didn't even notice this had been posted! What's wrong with me? Thanks again for bringing another great piece of work to this site.

#39 · 133w, 5d ago · · · Eclipse ·

OH MY.MY.

#40 · 133w, 3d ago · · · Redemption ·

This one is here?!? Awesome!!! :rainbowkiss:

#41 · 132w, 5d ago · · · Redemption ·

Is it recommended that I read "The Reluctant reunion of the Redoubtable Rabble-Rouser" as well before this seeing as it is a sequel to "Blood is Thicker"? I am really keen on starting to read this sooo.....:pinkiehappy:

#42 · 132w, 5d ago · · · Redemption ·

>>571392

Nope! Just Blood is Thicker. ^^ Of course, if you WANT to read 'Reluctant Reunions', then by all means, go ahead! ^^;;

#43 · 131w, 6d ago · · · Redemption ·

I didn't think I would ever like a grimdark story so much. It's powerful, it's heart-wrenching, and yet it's so beautiful.

This won't upset my headcanon, but I wouldn't mind if something close to that turned to be true (Yeah, of course it could :rainbowlaugh:)

This made me go through the whole emotional gradient, which is no small feat considering my depressive tendencies. Your portrayal of Derpy (sorry, Ditzy burns...) was pure genius, as well as your use of the Doc. The fight was both breath-taking and heartbreaking, and it's conclusion left me crying in a corner for half an hour.

You Sir are an artist, and I should be honored to read any future fanfic of yours. Actually, I probably wouldn't hesitate to buy any book you might publish in the future, if you get the opportunity.

Bravo.

#44 · 131w, 3d ago · · · Redemption ·

The three smartest ponies acting pants-on-head retarded for more than a minute just doesn't work for me

#45 · 131w, 17h ago · · · Eclipse ·

I loved this battle, just raw energy and emotion of it.

#46 · 130w, 3d ago · 2 · · Moonrise ·

Moonrise -> Moon -> Luna -> Lunatic

On a more serious note, I really like how you managed her change from calm and collected to a mad ball of purple energy by using hallucinations. I was wondering how you wanted to do that at first, but I never expected that.:twilightsmile:

#47 · 129w, 6d ago · 1 · · Moonrise ·

Ummm...ACID TRIP!!:flutterrage::flutterrage:

#48 · 128w, 2d ago · · · Redemption ·

Just that cover image is enough to pique my interest.  That combined with the description inspired one of my semi-rare "O fuck... :pinkiegasp:" moments.  I haven't read Blood Is Thicker yet, though, so I suppose I should get on that.

Le sigh...  So much to read...  :fluttershyouch:

#49 · 127w, 6d ago · · · Redemption ·

Most impressive. I respect your work here. You know how to work with the heart, as well as with magic in combat, not easily done between casters who can essentially do anything. I look forward to reading further work by you.

#50 · 127w, 2d ago · · · Redemption ·

she got off the hook too easily. I mean, I know it wasn't her fault... but stiiilll...

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