- Member Since 24th May, 2014
- offline last seen 5 hours ago
TheCrimsonDM
Big fan of fantasy and lesbians. If you want magic, lesbians, or ponies, you've come to the right place. Follow me itch.io if you want to see my visual novels. https://thecrimsondm-vanillia.itch.io/
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great chapter.
can't wait for more
thank you, Starfire Skyblaze.
and another great chapter
it's sad that there are only so few reading this great story
Thank you for continuing to enjoy my stories. XD
no problem
great chapter
can't wait for more
great chapter
keep up the good work
p,s i hope i don't annoy you with me commenting every chapter
thanks. XD
and I really do appreciate the comments, its awesome to hear from people who enjoy my story.
The stallion then said. “Too bad you look smitten with him. Well I hope you two have plenty of Hippogriffs.”
was that an offer?
shut up pinkie
I had never heard that word before, Hippogriff sounded kinda like some kind of snack food. I wondered if it had chocolate in it?
yeah lets fill your children with chocolate and eat them
4820868 lol that's awesome
thx
bossfight ahead thats going to be interesting
i also like the new picture
4898646 Thanks, I draw all my own artwork. I figured that this would be the first story to get my digital treatment XD
i wonder what storm feather would say to a tripple
visting twillight's kingdom
thats going to be interesting
So I've just read through the first chapter and I have three things to say. First of all, good idea, decent execution in terms of plot, so far.
Second, you really really need an editor. There were probably two hundred grammar mistakes in the first chapter alone. Misspellings, comma splices, period splices, places were commas needed to go, usage errors, capitalization problems, numerous times where you slip out of tense.
Third, in the title, War should be capitalized, and in each chapter title, all words should be capitalized.
Due to the fact that you've only one commenter other than myself, I presume that you have neither improved in grammar nor found an editor for the proceeding chapters, making me less and less likely to want to read this.
5099518 The first chapter you have read was actually re-edited by myself. the second chapter will be re-edited eventually, but that is a time consuming process.
Unfortunately it's been hard for me to find an editor. My grammar has vastly improved since I first started writing on Fimfiction, but without an editor it's hard for me to catch my own mistakes and fix them. I am still looking for an editor
I hope that the next few chapters aren't as horribly written as I fear they are, and Thanks for for the advice. XD
5102004
I find myself strangely drawn to this story. If I get the time in the next few days/weeks, I'd be happy to grab at least the first chapter and do a quick edit on it myself. I may not be able to be your editor for newly released chapters, but I'll take a crack at some of the older ones. Not sure when I might get to it, when I do, I'll PM you an edited version.
5104289 you're awesome. Thanks for that
5104289 well even with bad grammar the story itself is great but thats just what i'm thinking.
was i really the only commenter because of the grammar?
5106232 I actually think you were the only commenter because of the low popularity. My more popular stories, despite bad grammar are full of comments.
looks like light and storm are now official a couple
well, next stop ponyville
great chapter especially since we got some more backgroundinformation
keep up the great work
5217162 your welcome. I'm glad to of finally gotten to this chapter. It was one of the things I wanted to cover since I started this project. XD
great chapter
by the way is the tricksters blade the same as in the picture?
great ending
honestly wasn't expecting it to be finished
don't get me wrong because i thought you said you were going to rewrite it after you cancelled it
7122100 I did, and I will. I made a blog talking about how I've been sitting on this chapter for a long time now, and just couldn't bring myself to post it. There will be a rewrite, and one that is not a cross-over with Dark Souls. Though that will take a while to come out.