I read it, I loved it; take my like and my fav!

Not bad. Too many adjectives and a bit telly, but not bad. A couple of things, though.

That moment of time was a brief instance of clarity; A moment where futures were weighed in milliseconds, chosen in billiseconds, and answered in trilliseconds.

First, you don't capitalise after a semicolon, only a period.
Second, if you're going to use technical terminology, make sure you do it right. What you're looking for here is mili, micro, nano, or if you really want to exaggerate, mili, nano, atto. What you have written is meaningless at best, and completely opposite of what you're trying to say at worst (aka, billions of seconds instead of billionths of a second).

Neon seems a bit wimpy, but otherwise alright.

Not too bad so far, man.

~Skeeter The Lurker

I can't make it through this story. But there are two lines I wanted to point out specifically:

Vinyl had a face that made a pony smile, a face that guaranteed a good time.

She looked as soft as she felt. From her thick, almost colt-like barrel to her pillowy flank, Vinyl had the look and feel of a mare who had foals, or would have foals.

Neon, you're going to burst if you stay that pent up all the time.

Neon needed to grow a pair, but he grew half of one, and that'll do for now.

~OreoKooki

4562654

Neon, you're going to burst if you stay that pent up all the time.

Wouldn't he do that irregardless

Little bit OOC for my tastes, but alright.

9716993

This fic is 9000 years old, my dude. There was no OC to O at the time.