Meatball Marinara

by DEn-eaRP

The Twilight Calzone

What if it never did occur to her that some things break? Surely she would forgive herself and pick up the pieces if she knew that everypony did it. Ponies messed up all the time. That must mean that Spike, Gilda, Tank, Discord, and anything else that wasn't a pony was absolutely perfect in any way. And indeed that is the way things were. Discord's devilishly handsome high school yearbook pictures upon fliers floated around outside. Fantastic flier flyer Rainbow Dash was collecting them outside. Not only were they litter, but they were handsome litter.

"I can't hold any more!" exclaimed the cyan flying flier holder. "I sure could go for some spinach right now!"

On cue, a giant, flat-looking spinach can entered the screen, and Rainbow's jaw opened wide to eat it. The metal was good. No wonder goats dug it!

Using her newfound strength, she collected all the fliers and went to the bank to start a trading card company, which would convert the fliers into trading cards which she could then sell for enormous profit. She could finally pay off the debt to her house and have season tickets to see the Wonderbolts this year! No more one-or-the-other for her, no sir-ee!

Elated at the money she expected to be rolling in by the end of the week, she decided to pay one of her friends a visit. Pulling a dart out of her ear, she aimed it at the crowd in the middle of town, piercing the ear of a purple-colored pony. She would go visit her purple friend Twilight, then! The two ponies thanked each other for the wondrous event and moved on.

AT THE LIBRARY

Twilight opened the door, but to no effect. Then she realized that she had opened a book, not a door! How silly of her to open a book instead of a door. Whatever would she do when opportunity knocked on the door?

Unfortunately for her, it was not opportunity knocking on the door, but rather, her "good friend" Rainbow Dash. She opened the closet door before remembering to let her friend in using the front door and so she went and opened that one instead.

"Rainbow, 'Daring-Do and the Rainbow Aliens in Vegas' doesn't come out until Friday!" She then closed the door before anypony could dash in.

"But it is Friday!" protested the blue buddy.

Twilight shot a magic bomb and blew a hole in the ceiling, making Spike fall down to the ground floor. "Spike, what day is it?"

"Yesterday was Thursday, and so today is Friday and Sunday comes afterwards!" The dazed dragon spun around clockwise exactly 7 times before spinning counterclockwise 4 times, which teleported him to the moon.

"1 PM, huh?"

Rainbow Dash dashed through the door, daring to destroy the now-damaged door with a dash of disaster. "It is so Friday, Twi!"

"Oh yeah." Twilight blushed. Ever since her big freakout, she had overcompensated about the whole "don't get concerned over schedules" thing. "You smell like spinach."

"I know..." Rainbow Dash knew. "...I hope you don't mind, I was gathering a lot."

"I don't mind, Rainbow Dash; I love spinach!"

"Really? Why?"

"My mother always used to make me a special sub... she'd go to Subway in the morning..."

Rainbow Dash groaned. This was going to be another one of those stories again!

"...my mother went to Subway in the night..."

Suddenly, Rainbow Dash felt a strange sensation in her body. She started curling up into a ball, only to find that it wasn't making her feel better, it was making her feel worse! And was her color fading to red? Say it isn't so!

"...Oh please don't forget my large meatballs..."

That was it! Now Rainbow Dash knew what was happening to her! Now she knew how a meatball feels.

Twilight repeated something about meatballs for half an hour before stopping to telekinetically pick up the meatball Rainbow Dash because picking things up with hooves was gross. She had no idea where she had been stepping.

"Uh, Twi? You're not gonna eat me, are you?"

Twilight chuckled. "Of course not!"

Somehow, the inch-tall meatball breathed a sigh of relief.

"YET." Twilight's addition had very cleverly turned around the situation.

Again, SOMEHOW, Rainball Dash displayed the emotion of shock and terror.

"I need bread," said Twilight, the logical unicorn she was. "I do not get to have a sub if I don't have any bread! If I don't have any bread, I don't get the sub!" She brought the poor meatball uncomfortably close to her face. "Do you realize what this means!?"

"I go home free?" stammered the dashing little meatball, ignoring the implications that her longtime friend had a thing for what could very possibly be red meat.

"NO! It means I have to look!" Twilight started crying because not only was she in despair, but the plants outside her windowsill needed watering. Rainbow, feeling sorry for her predatory friend, tried to comfort her by rubbing her saucy self on Twilight's cheek, though being careful to avoid the mouth altogether.

"It can't be that hard, man!" Rainbow thought for a moment wondering where bread could be acquired. "Why don't you ask Celestia for some bread?"

Twilight wiped away her tears. "Last time I did that, she showed me a home movie starring my parents!"

"Hmmmm... Keldeo, then?"

"Kelde-who?"

"Who?" Owloysius butted in. Remembering that his existence was tangential at best, Twilight turned him into a meatball too, to create in the room- meatballs two. Owloysius was now Owl-licious.

Getting back on track, Rainbow answered, "Y'know? Ol' breadnose? That guy who is always hanging out with those weird dudes?"

"Keldeo?"

"No, he's called Breadnose, but his actual name is Keldeo."

"He can provide us with bread?"

"Yeah, because he's Breadnose! His nose is bread!"

"OH!" The logical unicorn finally had the logic click like a Lego brick. "Of course!" She began to pack her bag, but couldn't decide on what to bring and what to bring behind, so she just shrunk the whole library and jammed it in her bag, shaking around the borrowers still inside. "Hopefully nothing is broken." She said to the tune of things breaking inside the bulging bag.

"So what do you say, Twi?"

"Thank you Rainbow Dash, you are a true bro!"

And so she set off. Her mission: Find Breadnose!

Comments

[DreZoma]

....

[hyourei]

Now she knew how a meatball feels.
Mario approves!