Life as a Pony

by Tray Hunter

Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Bromance is Magic

by Tray Hunter
Editing by Doctor Brony

'You are realy sure it's there, are you? It wasn't even in the show or anything. Why should it be there?'

"Call it a hunch, but I KNOW it is real! As real as this world can be."

When I arived at the orchard, the sun was just rising above the farmhouse. The sight was beautifull but I was looking for something else.

"Where is it?"

I looked around and saw it. A small building, a little bit away from the farmhouse.

"Aah, there you are!"

I galloped towards my destination and as I came closer, I could read the sign on the front

Chef Sandy and Apple Cider's

Eatery and Drinkery

I'm not sure if you know them but meeting these two in my world is considered as awesome as a teaparty with Princess Celestia in a bunnycostume, while there are no bananas around.
As I stepped inside, I spotted the red stalion with the blonde mane behind the bar.

'Ok, if you realy wanna do this, play it cool and don't drool on his bar when you switch to fanmode!'

"That only happend once!"

'Yeah, but I think this time, they won't simply put a bucket under your chin.'

"Pfft, I can do this."

I wen't over to the bar and made eyecontact with the barpony Apple Cider.

"J0!"

"Well, howdy, stranger, what'll ya have?"

He realy spoke in this weird appalantean accent.
I'll try my best to imitate it but the featherthing just has to play along aswell.

"You got any beer?" (Internal *squee* number 1)

"Aaw, sorry pal, all out.

But we still got som' o' mah good ol' cider."

"Alright, I'll try that."

‘I’m so proud of you. You’ve yet to assault a random stranger.’

He turned around and kicked a glass from under the bar, that landed right before me. I still don't know how he did this without breaking it. While he searched for the cider, I placed my plot on a nearby stool. As he turned back to me, he had a large bottle with three X on it in his mouth. I noticed that it was the same kind of bottle he had for a cutiemark.

He lowered his mouth (at a completely awkward angle I might add) and began to pour the cider.The concoction sparkled a bit as he poured it. I took the glass with both of my hooves (just as awkward) and took a sip.

My wings stretched and stiffend again, while my ears stood up and my eyes watered. Cider later told me, there was some smoke coming out of my nostrils.

"Ar' ya alright?"

"That stuff is good!"

My wingboner subsided and I could swear somepony behind me giggled.

I turned around. The restaurant was almost empty and just a few ponies sat on a bench in the corner.

"Do you make it yourself?"

"Yeah, thats mah own unique creation! The Super Bubble Fizz Sparkling Cider!"

"Cool!"

I took another sip, this time without the side effects from before.

‘Easy there cowboy. This is your first interaction with ponies. Gotta play it cool.’

"Mind if ah ask where yer from?"

'Whatever you say just don't-'

"I'm from Germareneigh."

'...make up new words! Was that really nessecary?'

"And let me guess. You are Apple Cider from Appalanta."

I bet, one could here his jaw hit the floor, from the center of Manehatten to the coast of Coltifornia.

'Bad foul! Playing your fancards!'

"'scuse me? Hav' we met befor' or sumthin'?"

'Just say you heard of him or anything like that! Pleas don't-'

"I heard of your podcast. It's pretty cool. Is Chef around? I could use something to eat. " I could swear the whole restaurant was looking at me. Although there was only one pony left in a dark corner, turning his or her back to me.

‘You know what? I’m done. As soon as my lease is up, I’m outta here. Finding a new home. Maybe there’s a squirrel around here that would enjoy my company...’

When Cider's eyes widend to the size of pumpkins, I realized how bad the mindblow, I caused on him must have been.

"Ar' ya a spy?"

'Not gonna help you out of this one.’

"Actually I heard of your restaurant from a friend. And the "podcast" is a magazine, where I come from. They had a review on your bar and Chef's culinaric inovations. So no, I’m not a spy. We cool?"

'Do you realy think he belives you?'

"Sure we cool! Always a pleasure ta meet'n admirer o' mah arts." He smiled.

'He bought it? He realy bought it! Why do I even bother? You get ONE more try. But that’s it.'

"So, is Chef around? I'm starving!"

He turned around and yelled at a door that said "Kitchen".

"Hey, Chef! Yer got yerself a customer!"

The door swung open and a pony trotted into the room. It was the infamous Chef "Needle Nose" Sandy!
He held a notepad in his mouth and a pen rested at his ear. I'm not sure how it stayed in place but it was the same thing as putting up things with one hoof, it shouldn't work but it does.

"What's it gonna be?"

I thought about something to order but realized one essential detail: I hadn't had one bit to cover my bill.

"Ah'now that face! Don'cha worry about it. Ah'll hav' yer covered."

That time another ponyjaw dropping to the floor, could be heard. I think somewhere in Zimbabneigh.

"Are you serious?"

"Since yer new ta town, Ah'll grant ya a lil' welcome gift. But there's one condition!"

"Condition?"

"Yer have ta drink with me!"

I put my hoof up and my coolface on.

"Deal!"

And that, fillies and gentlecolts, was when the most epic brohoof in equestrian history was performed, by an undercover human and a barpony from Appalanta. And epic it was!

He looked at Chef, who glared at us as if he was about to kick somepony. But then he sighed and pulled out his notepad. "Fine, so how about your order?"

"I'll have...let's see...ah...a cactus stew."

"Alright. Finaly something to do in here. It'll take about five minutes. "

I nodded and he left for the kitchen with a short glare at Cider, who already poured the first round.

"Cheers, on the most random pony in mah bar, since that pink pony threw a stool through the roof!"

"And on the coolest barpony in all of Equestria!"

Chef joined our round when he brought my stew. We drank and talked untill it was on Luna to raise the moon again.

When I left for the door, Cider said I would always get, what he called, a friendshipdiscount. Unfortunatley, Chef passed out when he had 6 shots of whiskey in 30 minutes and fell of his stool. I waved my hoof at Cider, who was about to drag him to bed.

The night was warm and the sky clear.

"Oh Luna, what a beautifull sight! Wait... Luna? Moon?" I reached for my cigarttes and put one in my mouth. It took me some time to get the lighter working with my hooves. As I pulled in the smoke, a voice that had been quiet for an unusual amount of time, shouted at me.

'Oh jeez, ho- how much have ya been drunking? Ya know this hurts up here, right? *hic* How can you even walk that straight? Last time you drunken that much you were pulled into another dim... dimes... denen... place!'

"Relax! These ponybodies seem to be a lot sturdier than they look. I feel just fine and you still have these painkillers of yours." I trotted towards the town when I saw a parkbench. "Time to hit the pillows!" I yawned and laid down on the bench. "You know. I could get used to that."

'Do you mean the free drinks or the whole being-a-pony-thing?'

"Actually, both!"

‘Urhg. Not so loud!’

I closed my eyes and was fast asleep within seconds That night I dreamed of a birthdayparty on the moon.

The next morning, I made my way to the townsquare. It was crowded with poinies, going after their moning chores. I rembered my initial plan to pay a vistit to the local libary when I saw a grey and yellow blur dashing my way. I prepared for the impact but underestimated the force.

We rolled over the place and came to stop at a house, which I heard still has some fine cracks from it. I opend my eyes and smiled. Right before me was the famous crosseyed mailmare of Ponyville, Ditzy "Derpy" Doo.

She reached for her mailbag and gave me a letter.

Before I could even ask why anypony would sent me anything, she hoofed me a muffin with a note attached to it, saying "Sorry for crashing into you".

"Oh, no problem, I'm o-"

She flew off with, what could be described as a Sonic Muffboom.

"-kaaay?"

'Seems like this is a daily issue to her.'

"Anyway, nice gesture if you ask me."

‘The nearly-broken back or the muffin and apology?’

I looked at the letter. It was a plain, white envelope with no name or adress on it. Not that anypony knew my name or where I lived. Not even Cider and Chef asked me for this. Also I doubt the bench I slept on the night before had an address.

I opend the envelope with my teeth and read the letter.

I know who you are!
I know what you are!
We need to talk!
Meet me in the park at noon!
You will know me when you see me.
~L~

'Do you think this is-'

"No clue but we better find out." I looked at my watch. "Aw, crap. 11:54! I hate running after getting hit to the ground!"

I put the apology muffin into my pocket and galloped towards the park.

Comments

[SkankMaster]

L FOR LYRA!
CALED IT!
i dont care what you say, its lyra