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Trainbow Dash is the fastest train in Equestrain, or so she thinks. Does she have the horsepower it takes to transport her next cargo in only ten seconds flat? Get ready, because this locomotive is about to dash off the rails!

Thanks to the great bearded one known only as Obselescence for his help editing.

Also, I blame Pav Feira, and you should too!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 133 )

You have 4 upvotes and a single view right now. Only RainbowBob...

Also, I blame Pav Feira, and you should too!

Who doesn't?

more train
even more train
oh god more train

This is a good story, and I also blame Pav

He had the chance to stop it

What is this I don't even, although that's a good cover picture.

Go home, Rainbow Bob, you are drunk, and hilarious. :rainbowlaugh:

Are you kidding me, Bob? :rainbowlaugh:

As a bloke who grew up with Thomas, all I can really say is summed up in this gif.

i.imgur.com/zcjic.gif

For every pun, I wanted to smack small children.

But then I found my sleep-deprived self laughing. Damnit, bud, why do you do this?

...why must I enable you? *likes and faves*

4453395

You seem rather affected by this fic.

I guess you could say the writing...

packs a pun-ch.

4453369

You two working together is both hilarious and terrifying.

More.

Choo choo motherfucker

4453402

It's all cho-cho... uh, cool.

... I know where the door is.

4453402 YEEEEEAAAAAHHH!!!

... I... wha... but you... never try hard... motherchugging... Twiloco...

But if -

- Rainbob, you -

- you turned ponies into -
:rainbowhuh:
:twilightoops:
:unsuresweetie:



Forget it, I'm gonna go buy an animal accessory:yay:.

4453409

By our powers combined...

*Raises Ring*

PUNS!

games.dcu.ie/wiki/images/e/e7/Fail-train.jpg

You would figure Dash would be a Japanese bullet train.

Liked this only because of Trainbow Dash lol

4453443
Like the Equestrains could afford bullet trains. Personally, I blame the economic dependence on foreign oils, which only further adds to the problem of rainbow warming on the planet. It's not just a liberal agenda, it's true! Rainbows shall be the doom of us all, and the leprechauns along with it! :raritydespair:

4453470

I don't know. Cadence's crystal train looked pretty sleek and badass.

4453434

Yeah, I might've gone a bit overboard there. Sorry for dropping a palm like that on you.

4453483
Two words, mi amgio. Bribe money.

4453490
Only truly great puns are worthy of the Son of Mogh, :raritywink:

I vote for Ponkie Pie as the Express train....to Party city where it never ends. :pinkiehappy:

*insert joke about TWE here that I'm sure has already been made*

I liked it, particularly the analogues between Trainbow and Raritrain. Raritrain enables Shuttleshy in much the same way as Trainbow enables those poor AA members. Subliminally this suggests mother issues, and the symbolism of the hill before Trainville drives this point home further without a doubt. Dash's own insecurities with speed and awesomeness are met with success and yet all is undone; much the same could tragically be expected of Raritrain when she seeks atonement with her sister. And yet while not shown on screen, the reader has no choice but to conclude that Shuttleshy pays the ultimate price for Raritrain's hubris. Powerfully emotional stuff.

Also this:

looooooool

She was at top performance, her wheels spinning at an astronomical rate, smoke pouring from her top like a reverse waterfall, and her engine switched on the ever-so-dangerous and highly unwarranted speed of “Sonic Trainboom.”

Does it allow her to hit 88 and travel through time?

Trainbow Dash.


:ajbemused:

I came here for the train puns and you sir delivered on time like a good engine. *tips Sir Topham Hatt*

4453552

We sincerely apologize to you for that one. Refunds guaranteed for punsatisfied customers.

Didn't read it yet, but it has that "Instant Classic" feel to it.

All aboard the Rainbow Train :moustache:

Oh good greif, this is even more hilarious, if you read up on the record breaking run of the A4 Pacific Class locomotive, Mallard. Which is Blue. And just barely stayed on the tracks by slowing down enough to go through the station at least 50% over the speed limit, its bearings burning.

Also, Try 3 miles plus of 1 in 45 each side, with a ramp of 1 in 37 at the bottom.

Poor Shuttleshy, diesel electric shunting engine. Theres one on a 15 foot section of track in a carparck near where I live. Had its heart ripped out for the copper windings etc.

Id find a crazy one for Ponky Pie, maybe one of the rail car charabancs, but its heading to 5 am. Oh well.

Some people say Bob's been running out of steam lately.

I, for one, think he's finally managed to get his life back on track. He's been training rigorously to get himself ready for this moment, and it shows. It takes a certain amount of engine-uity to write about ponies who are also trains, and Bob's done a good job of stoking the imagination with his prose.

Now, I was admittedly prepared to grant this fic a coaled reception when I first saw it, and to be fair, the pacing chugs a little bit. Still, you can't go wrong with a good off-the-rails comedy, and I fully expect it to take a spot in the featured box...cars.

All right, all right, I'll go to bed now.

4453667
Fuck you, Ob.

I love you for that, Ob.

I blame Percy lol he always looks so cross!

4453667

All right, all right, I'll go to bed now.

If only you could. But I think you can, I think you can.

Now I feel that this has become necessary. :pinkiehappy:

Are you god?

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

I. FREAKING. LOVE. THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE!!! :pinkiehappy::yay::rainbowkiss::raritystarry:

~The lizardman expects this to treat the greatest children's show of the 80s with respect, or else :twilightangry2:

“Out of the way, everytrainy, I’m coming through! Fastest train in Equestrain! Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, dashoo!”

First sentence and I've already hit my limit...

“I transport animals and animal accessories.”

I hate you *clicks like*

“I think I can, I think I can,”

I fucking hate you...*clicks favorite*

So remember, little engines that could everywhere: never try hard ever again!

Noted *deletes all fanfic ideas* Well that was easy...

4453667
Sleeper cars are in the back

img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130723213029/aceattorney/images/b/b6/AA_Franziska_von_Karma_Thinking_1.gif
It would seem that this ride burnt off more than it could bear. I coal'd go on, but my train of thought steams to be boiling with bad train puns.

So, who's gonna make the first joke with Miss Pie's name?

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