A new life in Ponyland

by nearlyepic1

Chapter 4

"Tell me, Why do you think your here?" Celestia asked.

"Um... Because my life was bad and I deserved more?" I replied, Honestly believing every word of it. Celestia seemed shocked. She quickly removed the shock from her face however.

"I'm afraid you're quite mistaken," She says with a hint of annoyance. If I'm not here because I deserve to be here... Then why am I here? She frowned as if reading my thoughts she adds "You are here because my sister... has not yet been accepted into modern day society. She has very few friends outside of the castle. You were brought here to be her friend." Huh, That explains why there's a human here... But why me of all people? Why not that guy down the road who lived in that cardboard box, the one I always chased on my bicycle?

"Why me? Why not some random druggie on a street corner?" I ask, Then I am left wondering if she knows what a druggie is...

"She has been looking through the dreams of many humans, Giving each the opportunity to come to equestria. You were simply the first to say yes." I took this moment to notice that Celestia was about a head higher than me. I fell very small in her presence. Physically small that is. Her voice has a certain soothing aspect to it. I don't think I'd mind if she told me I had cancer with that voice... Actually yeah, I would mind. I'm living till I die of old age! Go eat a horse, cancer!

It takes a few moments for the information to sink in. I am here, not because I'm special, But because Luna wanted me here. Ah well, Too bad for her.

"So, can you send me home? Luna said something about waiting for her magic to replenish, So maybe you can send me home huh?" I look at Celestia with my best pleading eyes. She stares back with a blank face.

"I can send you home. I, however, will not. You are my sister's responsibility, not mine. She will send you home when she said she will." My mouth drops open. She just told me she can send me home! Then she outright refuses to do it!

"What am I supposed to do for the next week then? Sit around your castle until your sister decides she's had enough of my presence and sends me home? That is not going to happen!" All of a sudden Celesta's eyes went from warm and comforting to ice cold.

"You are acting as if you have a choice in the matter." Her motherly tone was replaced by a hard, unforgiving tone. "It surprises me, That not once have you asked why I am here. Not once have you asked about Luna who is currently in my room, crying about the monster who took in all of her generosity and kindness and spat it back in her face, Whilst you are in her room still enjoying her generosity!"

I made Luna cry? Heh, heh. I guess I found out why Shield doesn't want to talk to me.

"And don't worry about your week, It won't be wasted." Her eyes narrow into slits. "You won't be sitting around in my castle for any longer than you have to. You will be relocated" -That doesn't sound ominous at all... -" to Ponyville where you can learn from the local residents, the magic of friendship. Once your week is over you will be judged, By me, To see if you need to stay here longer. If you pass, you will be free to go. If you exceed my expectations you may even be asked to stay."

I was still in shock from her sudden change in attitude. She turned away from me to look back over the room. I followed her eyes and noticed an out of place dark zone in the corner of Luna's room. I squinted at it till I recognized what it was.

Night Blade had never left the room. Celestia was looking straight at him. She turned back to face me. " And, of course, I can't allow you to go running around this peaceful land un-escorted and as you're Luna's responsibility, it is only fitting you have a night guard escort."

---

Now, I'm riding in some kind of flying black chariot, looking like it's been pulled straight out of a cheesy fantasy film, pulled by a certain two bat ponies, one refusing to speak to me whatsoever, one more than happy to speak his mind, on my way to a place called Ponyville to make friends.

Yay. I thought with a hint of sarcasm. I know! Why don't I annoy everyone here until they all complain to the princess?If I do that I might get a 'get home quick' ticket!

I decide to have a look around at the area we are flying over. A lot of green grass, small rolling hills and a few patches of trees greet my eyes. I still see no signs of civilization except the towering spires of Canterlot castle behind me.

"Are we there yet?!" I shout to Blade. I don't shout because I'm angry, I shout because it's hard to hear over the whistling winds of this open chariot.

"We're another few hours away!" Blade shouts back. "Stop asking every minute! If you didn't want long distance travel then maybe you should have thought about that before you got kicked out of the castle!"

"I didn't get kicked out! There wasn't enough room there, So I got 'Relocated'! There's a difference!"

"No! You hurt Luna! Celestia sent you out here to isolate you!"

I was getting angry now. "No she didn't! Why don't you shut up and focus on getting us there on time!"

I could tell blade was getting angry as well. "Here's an idea! We can land this thing and you can pull us there, while we sit in the back complaining!"

"Both of you shut up!" I move my head to look at the Shield. This is the first time he's spoken since leaving the castle. He's looking at blade next to him. "Blade, we have direct orders from Princess Celestia. We are to keep Bob out of trouble and get him safely where he needs to go." He looks over his shoulder at me. "We get there when we get there! We're trying our best and you're not making it any easier on us!" He looks forward once again. I go back to watching the surrounding area for signs of civilization.

We all stay in silence for the next forty minutes.

I finally find what I'm looking for. I see yellow rooftops on the horizon. Finally! I notice that the chariot has started to descend. We were just under the cloud layer as it was, Not that there are many clouds, but at this rate we are going to land in a field. After a few moments of this rapid decent I notice the bat ponies had made no effort to pull up. A few more moments pass and we're still heading down at a 45 degree angle.

We're going to crash! They're trying to kill me!

A second before we hit the ground they flare their wings and pull up, Setting us down gently in the middle of a large green pasture. I jump out of the chariot, fall onto my hands and wretch violently. Once I feel better I look up. The guards had unhooked themselves from the chariot and were now stood in front of me, Both wearing dark smiles. "What was that about?! You knew that was my first time flying! If I didn't know better I'd think you'd planned this!" Their smiles turned into grins. "You did! You planned this! I'll get you for this!" They both turn around and walk off in the direction of the town.

Blade turns his head and and says to me. "Get up. We're walking the rest of the way." I glare at him. He ignore's me and keeps walking.

"What about the chariot?! Your just going to leave it here?" I shout back to him.

"Yep, some ponies think that it's scary. Others associate it with the princess or ponies with the princesses's trust and friendship. You have neither. So we're leaving it behind." He sighs. "More night guards will be along shortly to take it back." I get up and start running after them.

After an hour of walking I ask "How long until we get there? My feet hurt." I hear Shield mutter something to Blade, But I can't make out the words. Blade laughs back to Shield then turns his head to look at me.

"We'll be there in a few more hours." I look around, It's starting to get dark out. I had spent most of my day in that chariot, watching the hills roll by.

"A few hours?! It's going to be pitch black before I get there!"

Blade deadpans and replies, "We're the nightguards for a reason."

I think, Trying to get a decent comeback. I can't think of one. I lift my hands in the air and scream. Shield looks back and shouts at me.

"Shut up! Do you want to get eaten alive my a manticore?!"

Eat me alive? I have guards who can protect me! Guards that hate me... Yeah... Best to stay quiet I think...

"That's what I thought." Shield looks back to Blade and both exchange victorious smiles.

I then ask, "Wait, what's a manticore?" Blade facehoofs.

"It's basically a lion with bat wings and a scorpion tail." Shield says.

We stay in silence for another five minutes until I see several yellow rooftops in the distance. Shield said a few hours didn't he? Would he lie to me? Yes.

"Shield, you said a few hours. That was a few minutes ago."

"And it got us a few minutes of peace and quiet!" I cringed at his volume.

"Quieten it down! I don't want to be eaten by a manticore!" I whisper to shield.

For some reason both of the guards burst out laughing. Then I realize they had lied to me again. "There are no such thing as manticores are there?!"

Blade seems to laugh even harder whilst Shield calms down slightly and says to me "There are. Keep an eye out for them in the forests." I'm confused... I look around at the empty field...Dammit!

I need to find a way to get them back for this... They've been nothing but idiots to me this whole time!

I'm so lost in my thoughts about revenge against the bat ponies that I nearly miss Shield start talking.

"And here we are, Bob. Welcome to Ponyville!"