"Ask yourself, does progress always come at a price? Are some experiments just too risky, and just wrong? A little curiosity can't hurt anyone, can it?" -John Noble.
In ancient Equestria under the new rule of Princess Luna and Princess Celestia ponies were thriving. Settlements became villages, villages became towns, towns became cites over millennia, they were destined to grow into a near-utopian empire. Though as a natural rule all civilizations must have golden ages and great poverty. Equestria was plagued by a unknown illness, great people of the age sought out to create a cure for the disease. All were unsuccessful. Yet one fateful night, a great wizard arrived in the land, many ponies cheered for the miracles that he could create. Though for this pony, his greatest gift is also his greatest curse.
I can tell that you tried, I think.
Avoid second person. "You" is a word that should never be used outside of a character's quotes in stories.
The archaic speech is convoluted, and sometimes, unreadable.
Grammatical errors hinder readability greatly. I squinted at a lot of sentences trying to piece it together because I think gory stories are great; therefore, I really wanted to get through the bad stuff and just see the story.
I hope this helps you in some way. I'm actually not sure if this story is a serious attempt or not with the "Have at thee" and the "Faust" deity.