So far, so good. Showers' name is written as showers in the paragraph she is introduced in, but no real errors so far.
Even storywise, I could see Twilight becoming curious about romance. Not enough to cast an untested spell on herself, but what you're writing isn't THAT far fetched just yet. Though something tells me it soon will be.
SPARKLE, YOU FOOL! You're a scientist! Don't you know to NEVER do the same thong twice?! Oh all the things you could have done Twilight, this has got to be The. WORST.POSSIBLE. THING!!! (pushes a couch into the room) Oh why?! (starts to cry[or fake cry])
Everyone keeps saying june 23rd is their birthday mines April 5th.. The day this fan fic got made also I think twilight might have the same thig I have (the cognitive disorder known as Auspurgers)
"I don’t understand why somepony would want to spend so much of their time with someone, doting on them and obsessing on them" doting should probably be dating
Now, with the results in hoof, she was prepared to belief she might finally have the key to understanding a facet of existence she was convinced might be locked away forever. believe?
good job on the story looking forward to the next chapter.
“Hey, come on Twi, it’s not that a big deal. Not everypony is romantic… maybe you just need to find that special someone and it’ll all make sense" Probably should be "special somePONY" in there
first chap's down, just realised i only have three more fics after this one then I'm completely finished with darf's library of fic :C CHAPTER TWOOOOOOOO here we go
2352941 hey, my birthday is Oct. 13th. and I was born on a friday :3. 13:13 military time, 13 crows outside the window, and 13 hours of labor, so mom says.
me gusta
So far, so good. Showers' name is written as showers in the paragraph she is introduced in, but no real errors so far.
Even storywise, I could see Twilight becoming curious about romance. Not enough to cast an untested spell on herself, but what you're writing isn't THAT far fetched just yet. Though something tells me it soon will be.
The date of your first diary entry is my birthday. Creepy.
Twilight shoulda read kare kano. It's at least a good start to understanding romance.
SPARKLE, YOU FOOL! You're a scientist! Don't you know to NEVER do the same thong twice?!
Oh all the things you could have done Twilight, this has got to be The. WORST.POSSIBLE. THING!!!
(pushes a couch into the room)
Oh why?! (starts to cry[or fake cry])
BWAHAHA!! It turned four just as Spike said it was four!
in the beginning, I was like "June 23rd is my birthday!" awesome.
Reminds me of the book, "flowers for algernon"
Everyone keeps saying june 23rd is their birthday mines April 5th.. The day this fan fic got made also I think twilight might have the same thig I have (the cognitive disorder known as Auspurgers)
"I don’t understand why somepony would want to spend so much of their time with someone, doting on them and obsessing on them"
doting should probably be dating
Now, with the results in hoof, she was prepared to belief she might finally have the key to understanding a facet of existence she was convinced might be locked away forever.
believe?
good job on the story looking forward to the next chapter.
“Hey, come on Twi, it’s not that a big deal. Not everypony is romantic… maybe you just need to find that special someone and it’ll all make sense" Probably should be "special somePONY" in there
1596816 cool. at least i know that i'm not the only one on the spectrum here.
first chap's down, just realised i only have three more fics after this one then I'm completely finished with darf's library of fic :C
CHAPTER TWOOOOOOOO here we go
2352941 hey, my birthday is Oct. 13th. and I was born on a friday :3. 13:13 military time, 13 crows outside the window, and 13 hours of labor, so mom says.
Did she take the Adapose pill from Doctor Who?
Came for the Miley Cyrus noodz, stayed for the ponies.