Ponies Visit McDonald's

by The Equestrian Gentlecolt

Ponies Visit McDonald's

Stefano Alastair Margrave III dropped the last of three small, silvery coins into the hand of his waiting customer. The metal disc landed atop its two companions with a soft “clink” that was entirely lost in the cacophonic sea of running machinery, idling vehicles, an overworked air conditioning system, and the conversations straining to be heard above it all.

“And thirty cents is your change. Thank you for choosing McDonald’s.”

Giving him a short but not unfriendly nod, the type typical to a parent who has been keeping her child quiet for far longer than it is accustomed to and would like nothing more than to get out of the building before the dam breaks, his customer turned away to fill her drink cup. The infant secured within the baby carrier on her back stared at him with innocently curious, sky blue eyes. He imagined for a moment that he could actually see the great blue expanse of the heavens through those eyes, sweeping out across his vision, far above the dull gray medley of rainclouds and smog that had been his ceiling on his walk to work that day. He could almost feel himself falling into that sky, embracing the light of the sun as it fell across him...

“Stef! Hey, Earth to Stef! Next customer?”

The shrill voice of his manager, Melanie, snapped him back to reality. A reality which currently contained a rather impatient-looking young man glaring at him from across the counter.

“Uh, sorry, I... what? What did I do?” The man’s expression had changed as Stef started speaking, shifting rapidly through bemusement and confusion, and landing squarely in the realm of shock. “Uh, sir? Hey, uh, sorry I zoned out. Okay, seriously, what’s wrong? You’re really starting to... freak me out...” Stef faltered as, one by one, every head in the room turned to stare at him, and every conversation trailed off into the growing silence.

Then he noticed the wavering blue light that seemed to be coming from him.

No, not from him. From behind him.

Stefano Alastair Margrave III turned around very, very slowly.

Where there had once been a deep frier, there was now what could be described as a shimmering blue rift in the fabric of reality. Stef, science fiction buff that he was, would have described it as a wormhole. If he’d had the chance, that is.

A new conversation broke the silence.

“Are ya’ll sure this is a good idea? Ah’m sure nopony’s forgotten the last time we followed one a’ Pinkie’s doozies?”

“Don’t be such a boring bore-pants, AJ! I promise nopony’s gonna get dumped in fish oil this time. My back would’ve itched!”

“Besides, this is for science. Who knows what we might discover? Ah, this must be the place here.”

“Only one way to find out. Pony incoming!”

“Rainbow, wait!”

With a pop and a whoosh, followed shortly by a CRASH, a blur of cerulean blue came tumbling out of the portal, across the counter, and into the display of My Little Pony and Transformers toys at the edge of the dining area.

For a few short moments, silence reigned again. It was ended by the shrill cry of an eight-year-old girl, and the restaurant descended into bedlam.

“PONY!!”

“Wha? Augh!” Rainbow Dash’s hooves flailed ineffectually in an attempt to dislodge the small pair of arms that had been thrown around her neck. “Oh Celestia, it’s got me! Get it off!”

“I’ll save you, Dashie!” Pinkie Pie emerged from the portal and bounded over the counter, only to be reduced to a pile of squirming and giggling as another child separated from its dismayed parent to grab the pink pony in a hug. “Eeeehehe that tickles, stop!”

Four more of the technicolor invaders swarmed out of the portal. The purple one’s eyes widened as she surveyed the area.

“Oh my gosh, humans! Oh, I wish I’d read more on human culture. Quick, how do you... oh right!” Twilight Sparkle, apparently deciding that the nearest human would be the best place to begin diplomatic relations, turned to Stef and raised a hoof. Clearing her throat, the purple pony spoke slowly and loudly. “We. Come. In. Peace. Live. Long. And. Prosper.”

Stef was quite sure that, if the pony had possessed fingers, she would have been giving the Vulcan salute. His brain, which had already packed up its things and was on its way out the door, quickly settled upon the only reasonable response to the situation: he raised his right hand, thumb extended and fingers parted into two pairs.

“Peace and long life.”

This seemed to please the pony immensely, because she broke into wide grin. She opened her mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by her orange friend.

“Uh, Twi? Ya might wanna help RD. Ah think she’s startin’ to turn blue.”

“Um, sorry to interrupt, but... isn’t she usually blue?” Fluttershy interjected timidly.

“Yeah, but she’s turnin’ more blue.”

“More of a navy than a cerulean at this point, I’d say,” Rarity helpfully supplied.

“Alright, I’ve got this. Stand aside, everypony.” A violet aura sprung up around Rainbow Dash’s overly-affectionate assailant, and Stef’s eyes followed the child as she was levitated gently back to her stunned parents. Pinkie’s own antagonist was given the same treatment, earning a disappointed “aww” from both human and pony. “Sorry, girls,” Twilight said firmly, “but interspecies contact is strictly forbidden until diplomatic relations are established. Now--”

“Hey look, it’s us!” Dash interrupted excitedly, using her teeth to grab a familiar figurine from the wreckage of the toy display. “Look how awefome I look!”

“Ooh! Lemme see, lemme see! Hey, why doesn’t your cutie mark have a cloud? And why do I only have one balloon?”

“Girls, will you all please come back over here?”

“Oh my, um, they... I think they made my butt a little bit too big. My butt isn’t that big... is it? ...oh dear.”

“Girls...”

A piercing shriek of dismay. “My tail. Is. Pink!”

The thump of a fainting pony hitting the ground.

Sirens.

“...and that would be the authorities. Come on, girls.”

“Can we take the toys?”

“No! Just--fine, just get back here.”

“Okey dokey lokey!”

Five ponies piled back through the portal, and the unconscious Rarity quickly followed, carried along by a violet aura. The wavering rift in space snapped shut behind them just as the first police officer arrived on the scene. All that remained of the previous chaos was a stunned crowd, and the Happy Meal display case, eight toys emptier.

---

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned that, even when life is at its dullest, there can be excitement to be found. You should always be open to new ideas or opportunities, and be prepared for sudden surprises and challenges. Because even if you’re not looking for excitement, it might find you. And when it does, no amount of college education can prepare you for what it brings along for the ride.

Your newest student,
Stefano Alastair Margrave III

P.S.: Give my compliments to Hasbro’s marketing department. I don’t know how they pulled it off, but with you as my witness, I’m a believer now.

Comments

[The Equestrian Gentlecolt]

First!

...sorry. I've always wanted to do that.

[BR]

Its ok.

Dude. This is the funniest fic I read all night. PURE GENIUS! I don't see how it could possibly be a trollfic though. Its funny enough.

Your first is invalid because you are the author... so FIRST!!!

[djthomp]

I love it!

[The Angry Dango of Doom]

Wat?

[Twystron500]

That was stupendously cute and awesome! Have a Pinkie Pie
P.S. Which pony said her butt looked too big? I'm too drunk to reason.

[SwiperTheFox]

I think of getting one of those toys every single damn time I'm at McDonalds, but I haven't yet.

[TadlocksGlasses]

Loved the part where Twilight geeked-out over Star Trek. Adorkable as hell. More stuff such as Twilight being aware of movies/books like Star Wars/Hitchhikers Guide would be pretty cool. I always get a kick out of stuff like that.

[THAT_1GUY89]

[SUN-1105]

wow i was giggling and snorting harder then a pig being tickled

[SwiperTheFox]

So... did the ponies take the human to Equestria for a little bit (since he was so friendly to them as per what Twilight wanted), or what?

[Production Run]

411008 May the Force be with you! 42!

[Production Run]

This isn't the only story involving ponies arriving in public. I've been writing one where they crash into the narrator in his school lunchroom with 600 people in it when they teleport to Earth. Don't bother looking for it, though, since I haven't published it yet.

[The Equestrian Gentlecolt]

410825
Yeah, writing a trollfic was a silly idea. This was much more fun.

410888
I wrote it in Fluttershy's voice. But since it wasn't properly attributed, it's open for interpretation.

411008
Yeah, I'm definitely keeping that one in mind for the future. I loved that part too!

411037
They didn't, they just up and disappeared on him. Poor guy.

411063
Nice, that sounds like a fun scene. We need more of that, to balance out all the conveniently private arrivals.

[BobtheLurker]

I like this idea. You could have fleshed it out a little bit more but I lol'd all the same.

Way to pick an inconspicuous point of entry, Twi. Awkward!

[Twystron500]

411072 Thanks for the response. I have to say that my Fluttershy doll, er... i mean't, 'action figure', has a rather large butt. Don't eat Mc Donald's, or you really will get a big BUTT!

[Production Run]

411072 They also wreck half the room in the process, but who cares how many tables get thrown into the exosphere by magic explosions if it means the ponies are on Earth?

[negativezero]

epic

[SpiitfireSpectr]

I laughed my ass off when Twilight said " Live long, and prosper"

[SwiperTheFox]

411072
Booooooooooo!

Pinkie should have grabbed him by the collar and taken him for a fun ride.

[DerpyHooves123]

Big Macdonalds

[Lieutenant Bubbles]

I just picked up my pink tail rarity when I read this. Best Mcdonalds fic EVER!!! I just wish RD had gotten a McFlurry for free cause she was so awesome. Oh well. A moustache for you sir.

and a McFlurry for RD

[DoctorAnatomy]

411154

images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw2239_large.jpg

-The Doctor

[CoastalSarv]

You, sir, is a genius!

[Zervziel]

That was a fun little story.

[oblivion2k]

Haha, that was great, nice one!

[Corona Blaze]

I work at McDonalds.

I SERIOUSLY wish that'd actually happen.

[Shefira]

This is friggin' priceless
i.imgur.com/Qh3q4.png

I tip my hat off to you, good sir

[Clockwise Gear]

Okay, I'm going to have to agree with the author on this, and not just because he/she delete whichever is appropriate is the author: This was a much better idea than a trollfic. This story was just what I needed to brighten up my morning after being brutally murdered by an 8:00 Calculus class. I tip my hat to you, sir/madam delete whichever is appropriate.

[Dashie222]

Awesome.

[neutralmilk]

Oh God that was great

[Fareseed]

I have only got to Rainbows crach-in and I can only think:
"O god. Are you serius?"

[Fareseed]

I am stuned.

[Rainbow Scout]

Man...Lyra's gon' be PISSSED when she finds out they didn't bring her.

[OneLonelyPickle]

Good stuff, my friend

[Squeaker]

One thing. "Okay dokey lokey" should probably be "Okie dokie lokie."
Anyway.
THAT WAS SPECTACULAR!
s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/original/000/125/343/LunaClap.gif?1306001801
Jolly good show, my friend.

[ugugg93]

I'm just depressed I never got a Fluttershy toy Have the rest of the mane 6, but not her...

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Lol the man's a brony now. Someone should welcome him to the heard.

[UseFistNotMouth]

files.myopera.com/EddieB-666/albums/540006/Epic%20Win-seizure.jpg

[rychu_supadude]

i78.photobucket.com/albums/j85/Sanurai/75c96b82.jpg

You, sir, win... at everything. Forever.

[Production Run]

423922 *has a seizure*

[Rocket0007]

This deserves an EPIC tag of sorts; prior knowledge AND intent? Good show, sir, good show!
And who knew Twilight was a 'Trekkie' ................

[abandoned2123]

You're getting a favorite because honestly, that Star Trek reference absolutely killed me. Brilliant stuff, mate.

[RaptorCalloftheShadows]

410796 Oh my God. XD This story. THIS STORY. I it *dies laughing!* And while I have no idea where it would go from here... I would love to see more from it.

[Amneiger]

“We. Come. In. Peace. Live. Long. And. Prosper.”

Started laughing right around here. And that ending was genius. Enjoy your gold star.

[keaton-furman-prower]

I'd read a sequel if there was one

[destinysWalrus]

Twilight Sparkle, apparently deciding that the nearest human would be the best place to begin diplomatic relations, turned to Stef and raised a hoof. Clearing her throat, the purple pony spoke slowly and loudly. “We. Come. In. Peace. Live. Long. And. Prosper.”

*giggle-snicker*

His brain, which had already packed up its things and was on its way out the door, quickly settled upon the only reasonable response to the situation: he raised his right hand, thumb extended and fingers parted into two pairs.

“Peace and long life.”

And this is when my vocal cords and brain short-circuited due to the combination of funny and adorable.