This story is a sequel to Under Crimson Sails
Meet Allen Key, an optimistic Earth pony who sets his sight on one day soaring through the sky. for years he toils away on countless inventions that in theory will give him this ability, but when he meets a stubborn Bat pony who has lost her ability to fly, he sets out on a journey that is far beyond anything he could ever imagine. will he succeed on touching the skies, or will he finally agree with the nay-sayers who claim that his place is where every other earth pony resides. on the ground.
Chapters (18)
This story is pretty good and I'm excited for more. The only Problem I had is the time gap from the prologue to chapter 1. The time gap is not explained in till towards the end of the chapter simply by hinting how old he was. I got a little confused.
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the purpose for that is simple. the reason for the great time gape was to not only show that his dream of flight has always been there. but to show his mother's reaction to his dream, and how much she cared for him as well as the day he became friends with Derpy since throughout his foalhood, she has been his only friend. its really a setting to describe the influences he grew up with rather then just start it off with no history or knowledge of the character himself.
4464437 I understand that and i really like the time gap. It just took me a little to actually notice that there was a time gap. The idea was great I just think the message should have been given quicker. I had to re read the first part of chapter one to finally understand that the time gap had happened.
the cutters now I know you are linking this story to the old one
4611421
lol only slightly
No one told me you already started this story
4733294
sorry I figured everybody was keeping up ith it.
I forgive you... for now
This story...
IS AWESOME!
I cannot wait to see more, currently reading chapter 4
You deserve WAY more views, I would advice you to put this story into more groups.
I want to see that commander getting punished, serving the princesses and killing innocents... dirty bastard
4820305
Thx im glad you like it so far.
im not part of many groups cuz I spend most of my Time on my DA page then here. but if you have any suggestions feel free to send me a message with links. I know I don't have many readers, but its the comments that readers leave that inspire me to continue my writing.
I know I already said it, but I will say it again:
This deserves more views
4896103
thx im glad your enjoying the story thus far.
Twilight needs something..........
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yep... three of my finest crates of whisky...
and a boot to the head
Wow, Twilight is an ass
5413866
just adds to reasons she had no friends prior to NMM's return
Well, it's been a longish journey for all of them but now, it's time for a new one.
5486674
true, I enjoyed that last part since I put hints about a future story I have had in the works. Captain Sail had popped up so many times in my writing I decided to make him an official character and write a story about him in the future. but first I have an idea for a story with my first changeling OC so this one will be next,
Great another asshole who wants to ruin everything sorry but this is a good story so like
5673306
thanks
I hope you enjoy the rest.
5673525 I hope there is a story where he and derpy see again. Because I cried a lot at this chapter. I need to see a good meeting
5963229 same. would love to see another one!
good work on this story! tho spelling errors are common, i think it more than makes up for it in content! (and im not too good a speller myself... but, we learn best from those who work alike, right?)
hmm, I like it
MMMMMMmmm! Love the ending. Love the fic, love it all.
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Thx I'm glad
Although this is one of my lesser known stories it still rings as one of my faves too.
Formatting is kinda weird, but the story itself is a great read.
9800280
yea the formatting in this site is always weird when I post it. I've tried adding extra spaces and other tricks but it seems that every time I figure out what script the site uses to post it, it changes in a way that almost messes the entire story up. I'm just grateful they fixed the portion that refused to add intentions to the paragraph.
...I swear I’ve seen that ending two paragraphs before somewhere else. I remember something about a tree glowing and why it dose. Didn’t understand it at the time tho.
Once again an amazing story priceless I know I said I’d leave this universe alone but I always enjoy these stories that have some form of technology in our world brought into the MLP verse. Wish ya gave us a bonus chapter of Allen making it home to derpy and dinky but ya didn’t and that’s ok disappointing but ok so as I’ve said before awesome story and amazing writing! And I now get that the Annabelle and her captain is from ‘under crimson sails’ even tho I only put those together as I didn’t read it seeing as it really had nothing to do with this story. So again thank you for an awesome read and can’t wait to possibly see more from you!
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Thx, all my stories play on each other which I enjoy because it makes it possible to cross over my characters. In fact, Captain Sail started out as a character similar to derpy on the MLP universe (always appearing in the background of every story.) But I felt it would be better if he had his own story too.
I hope you enjoy what's next and thanks again for reading and your kind words. It always motivates me to see readers enjoying my stories.
9874703 Your welcome thanks for the awesome read! ...Now I want more stories that have some form of our tech in the universe. Pacifically Planes or Ships.