(told by a character from Tears of a Fallen Star)
Captain Gem Stone was and will always be known as the Gem of the Nightmare Legion; Commander Bolts most trusted and loyal soldier known for her optimism and kindness, however, there was a time when she hated the world and everypony in it and she wanted nothing more than to see the good Commander bleed. . A simple mare, stricken by tragedy and sadness, who could only slip further into darkness. Now she takes orders from a soldier who claims he is helping, when it seems that his true intentions are to make her life even worse. She sets out on her own mission to ether prove him wrong or kill him, which ever seems easier.
Chapters (17)
i like it i need more but i can wait
Finally got around to reading this story, as I got this story saved to a device two days ago and read it on the go. It's interesting to see the how the initial relationship between Gem and Star Bolt went to a rocky start with Star being rough as Gem's instructor to push her limits, and Gem wishing to make him suffer behind his back and even attempt to do so at one point! A nice surprise when I read chapter 5, to see what would be unusual action with this character when the one reads Tears of a Fallen Star first. I can't wait to see more of this story and catch up with others that I have been missing for so long.
Anyhow, it is not without some fault. It had some spelling errors and capitalization where it's not need. In addition, there seems to be a problem with formatting where some paragraphs is indent and others do not. I would suggest to make the entire chapter with no indents and have double spacing like my comment here, since you don't have to worry about limited spacing in a website document. However, these are my thoughts.
Overall, a nice story, keep up the good work, my man.
ha ha, nailed it,
i had a sneaking suspicion that there was something along the line of commander bolt and his wings tho my suspicion was more along the lines of outside interference to make the experience more impacting.
still can't wait for the next installment of commander bolt's story
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same here, I want to finish this story before starting on the next but its hard to keep taking notes and prevent myself from starting it too soon lol
Either way It will be a good one and the title will most likely be The Third Commander. (title better explained in the story)
Omg omg omg omg omg , is that figure star bolt after or in exile!!!!!!!!!,
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could be... all I can say is that if you haven't already started, start reading The Third Commander. it will slowly answer itself.
I usually don't like to tell people to read my stories, (since everyone has their own opinion of stories,) but this question will be answered in that story.
Either way, thanks, I'm glade you enjoy my writing