Starfall has admired (severely crushed on) Rarity since they were foals. But sadly, he has always fell a tad too short and couldn't find a way to talk to Rarity, despite asking her out. But now an opportunity comes his way, a way to get him and Rarity alone and on a date. Will he makes his move and get a marefriend out of this? Or, will he screw up and get rejected, or worse...."friendzoned"?
This is a Story Commission for Asterian Starfall. I hope you enjoy this piece.
Okay...What can I say? The plot was consistent, and thought out. The characters were well developed, albeit a tad glazed over, but it kept in line with the consistent pace overall. Spelling was a tad lax, especially towards the end; "Stardust?" However it didn't destroy my investment in the story, as more it gave me a slap in the face from time to time. Anyway, overall the story is really good, and I can clearly see your own soul poured into this; Fruit Loop being the most obvious expression of your true self.