My body heaved in agony as I struggled to retain consciousness. I felt numb around my waist. I remembered landing on something. I think it went through me. My clothes were soaked in blood and my eyes refused to focus, but my ears picked up voices. There were many voices around me. I think I was being carried at some point, then I blacked out again.
Torches surrounded me. I could see that now. They illuminated the walls of a thatched hut. My head felt light and my veins felt cold. A voice whispered "Fight it. Death will not claim you today."
My shirt was cut down the middle by a sharp talon, exposing my injury further.
"This will hurt. Badly." I could barely make out a pair of clawed hands covering my wounds. A soft red aura swirled around them and made contact with the wound. I screamed in pain. It was as if the ice in my veins suddenly ran hot with fire. A few more claws grasped my limbs and held me down as the pain multiplied.
"Wait! There's something still inside him. We need to pull it out first." I glimpsed a clawed hand descend to my abdomen and reach at something.
I howled in raw agony as something was pulled from me.
"That's...not good. Will he make it?" A voice called from behind me.
"I don't know. His strength is fading. Keep him calm. There is still pieces from the wood that impaled him in his belly. If he moves too much it will only do more harm."
The pain dragged on and spiked until it flooded my brain. I could barely register a soft voice behind me.
"Come on. Just hold on a little longer. You can make it."
"One more!" A final piece of wooden shrapnel was pulled out and this time the pain forced me to black out once more.
"Run, my daughter! Take the man and hide him somewhere. They only want him.I shall stall as long as I can. If they find him they will not be kind."
"Yes, mother." I was suddenly aware that I was being carried somewhere quickly. In the distance I heard angry voices.
"Where is the human?" Similar questions were asked but grew harder to hear as I was carried away.
"Gone now. We glimpsed him running somewhere to the East. Timberwolves will have him by dawn."
"We didn't say it was a he. Spread out and search the area!" Another voice called out.
The sounds of footsteps approached rapidly as my rescuer frantically searched for a place to hide. She dove into a large, thick bush and dragged me inside.
"Please be quiet. These are bad ponies. They wish you harm." She whispered as they approached the area. We sat in silence for what felt like hours until a familiar voice began calling out.
"Valerie? It's safe to come out now! They're gone now!"
"I'm over here!" The voice next to me responded. She dragged me out of the bush with her.
"Good, there you are. Quickly, we have to return him to the camp and get the others to help finish the healing, the longer we delay the less chance he has."
I was picked up again but I felt even weaker now. I probably wouldn't be able to stand if she were to set me down. Eventually we neared a large campsite lit by torches campfires.
"Quickly! Get the healers! He's dying!" Valerie's mother called out upon us approaching the camp.
"He's the creature from the visions!"
"It doesn't matter! If we don't help him we will never know what he has to say!"
"His kind will doom us all!" A voice shouted.
"Doom us? They will be the ones to save us!" Another replied
"Stop bickering! He is dying and needs help! The visions could be true or false but all I see is an individual that will die without intervention!" Valerie's mother answered.
"Bring him to the matriarch!" An older voice responded.
A moment later I was carried into one of the larger tents and laid on a table. Although my vision was blurry I could see a large gryphoness walk closer and stand over me.
"It's the one from the visions!! Where did you find him!?"
Hm...this should be interesting. Kinda short but I'll live.
5491202 I wanted it to be longer but it'd feel weird for the transition planned. I also plan on updating it within the week. In the meantime I'll update Playing the Heartstrings and possibly Sombra's Redemtion again.
4519523
Didn't you know?
Shakespear is only good in the original klingon version.
Not bad for a transitional chapter, but now I'm gonna be eager for the next update.
I found this one lacking. Only audio. I suggest you go back and add detail. What do the voices sound like, how did the carry feel, and a few other details here and there. Not only will it make a bit more lengthy, but easier to understand as well.
*Sees update im my fav story*
Its only 700 words
FUCK
5496181 Noted, I'll polish it some more before the next update.
5496556 Fear not, I'll make up for that in the next update, it'll be longer than the usual ones. And this is your fav story? Thanks!
Good story I can't wait for the next chaper
5843977 My inner child is screeching right now from that lol.
5496181 Will do. Though I'll probably go back and do it more thoroughly once some of my other things are more firmly established.
5844025 Thanks, I'm most of the way through the next chapters as well and should be able to update this weekend.
Gaaaaaaah, so much is happening~
Nicely done!
Keep it up!
5859726 Thanks. I will, though could you please not spam the comment section?
5859986
^.^'
I review every chapter dude, and I read really fast.
Its ta' be expected when reviews come in at light speed.
But uh... sorry for reviewing at light speed?
5860086 Nah it's alright, just put them in one or two comments for future reference there mate.
5860222 Erright then brosef
6058297 Pfffft. Discord is best princess.
6240960 Art thou suggesting they shouldn't be? I'm like the FedEx of fimfiction. If it fits, it ships.
MOAR!!!!! if you don't mind
6270480 Believe me I'm eager to work on my stories again. I just want folks to know that I just went through a really big move recently (still don't have all the furniture and stuff and internet/cable is being set up today, I'm using a hotspot right now but hopefully I'll be back up and posting again soon.
Alright I know how much work it is to move, so I can be patient..... for now
6271656 Especially intercontinental moves. I'm still gonna be busy for a while to come but I'm trying to make progress.
Intercontinental? Wow where are you going to? If it's not to much to ask I don't want to pry
6274749 Went from Iwakuni Japan to North Carolina, (American but lived all over)
>
6275911 Dude that's so cool!! I'm in Florida and just came back from a visit to japan
6275927 Ah cool. Japan was nice and all but believe me, it's so good to be back. Okinawa wasn't so bad but I hated Iwakuni. Anyway at least in Okinawa I met someone that I'm incredibly glad to have met and can barely imagine not knowing now.
Ok I have a quick question about Japan, do you know what their meat is
6280113 They have all kinds of meats there. You can get fried octopus if you want it. They do actually have really good chicken as well though.
6281557 well yes I knew that their chicken is some of the best I've tasted I mean the thin one that looks like bacon but isn't bacon
6283126 Yakitori would fit in along feasts fit for gods.
6286904 indeed it is
6293531 Yeah, anyway I'm gonna try to get this story updated this week, I'm actually working on a mass update to please fans of each story, so I don't get someone mad from "Come on man! You updated that last month but you haven't updated this story in like a year!" So all at once.
6293654 Good idea it also gives me plenty of reading material thanks man
6293684 No problem. helps me figure some story parts out in the meantime as well as well as post new stories and try to get proof-readers (more of sanity checkers at least) for the ones that are ready.
6293749 can I proof read them? for grammar and spelling
6293762 Sure thing. I'll send you the thingy so that you can see them in a message, I can tell you which ones I need proof-read and you can choose freely among em.
6294551 yes! reading good stories and pointing out others' mistakes two of my favorite things! jk
6294551 whats the thingy
6294559 Awesome, well you should have just gotten my message and I welcome constructive criticism. Sometimes it feels like I piloted a plane on accident and I have no idea how I didn't crash with ten seconds lol.
6294568 I got the message thanks
Officially one if my top 3 fav fics on here. Can't wait for new update. I had a big emotional surge for many reasons after I read the last chapter. It went from absolutely depressed to pure joy. The details aren't interesting
I also just found out I've read a couple of your other fics...
6300733 I'm really glad you like this one, I gotta say this and Sombra's Redemption are my own personal favorites to write. What stories of mine have you read?
6303557
The two Lyra ones. The names currently slip my mind but I though they were well written. Reminds me I gotta work on my fic...
6304456 Haha I get that feeling. And they were Lyra's Dirty Little Secret and Playing The Heartstrings,some good ones. Playing The Heartstrings, The Sound of a Heartbeat, and Playing with Fire are all going to be intersecting heavily in the future as well.
6305745
I'll make sure to read that. I'm just glad I finally have the inspiration to continue working on my fic. I started it on April 18th. I made two chapter and the last time it's been updated is April 19th. I desperatley to get the ideas to make more than just chapter 3 though...
Sorry if I annoy you. The friends I like to talk to don't have minutes and my other friends are being total jerks. They one of them only wants to talk to me to take advantage of a few of the things I can do like edit videos, create music (if I was any good at that) and all around pc knowledge. It's just nice to have a conversation where you don't wanna kill the person on the other end.
6305812 Ah I get that, and personally I'd just cut those people loose, and you're fine. Anyway try maintaining a variety of stories. Like if I'm in the mood to write something sweet and romantic, Playing With Fire. If I want to work on an epic win or lose it all journey with adventure and romance and redemption, Sombra's Redemption, etc.
6307175
I'll keep that in mind when I finally get bored of anything romance related which is all i read... And the way i plan for the fic to go is exactly whaf I prefer to read. It's jusf a matter of getting a couple chapters out until my bigger plans can really start. And the reason I don't just cut him loose is because he's the reason I'm a brony in the first place.
6307486 Well then at the very least tell him how you feel. Anyway with the romance stories, remember to keep it real (granted it's about talking magical ponies...) Avoid cliches like it always going perfectly and always being the first character of the opposite sex introduced. Add conflict, throw some curveballs, and above all, careful with the gary/mary sues. Even if a character is just a great guy, he's unlikely to have three females fighting over him short of him being a major sports star.
6309009
I've actually told him quite a few times... As for my fic I actually have a lot of it planed... down the road that is. I just have to get there and I'm trying to keep it as realistic as I can. Thanks for your help though. You aren't the first one to help but if you know who Truthseeker (the author of the Unity Pact series) he's given me a couple tips before as well. I also need to start reading through what I have more often due to a few missing words I have to fix in the current chapters. Someday I'll convince one of my friends to be a proof reader or editor and such. U til then I'm just gonna spend my study hall at school reading through it and fixing my mistakes. I really need to get better at things like grammer...
6309739 As simple as it sounds, if you want to start with better grammar, type proper grammar consistently, whether on Facebook or in chats like this. I would also advise just reading some stories, and I don't just mean on here but real, published novels. This site is wonderful for aspiring authors or those that just enjoy writing and if you so desire one day, you could pursue getting your own book published one day. Keep in mind even J.K. Rowling's "Harry Potter" was denied over a dozen times before someone would publish it. Oh and just frequent dictionary.com and check out the thesaurus feature attached to it. Always seek to expand your vernacular. Although I'm far from an expert myself I would love to help out in any way I could.