A Crossover

by Dudofall

Chapter Twenty Four: Opening the Door

Chapter Twenty Four: Opening the Door

"I think I'm beginning to understand. Prance has a great many sorcerers, and one of their projects was to create more through magical cloning." Dawn doesn't reply. In fact, neither of the ponies in the room do. "Is that not correct?" I look between Rarity and Dawn, but they don't move. Opalescence is frozen too. I look outside the window, but even the birds in the trees and the squirrels on the bird feeder are still. I remain perfectly calm and walk at a steady pace to the shop's door. Taking a deep breath, I open it. Instead of the street outside, I see a dark room. There's a man about Mary's age sitting at a computer desk. He looks strangely familiar to me. His fingers hover over the keyboard, but he types nothing. "Excuse me," I say. He jumps in his seat and stares at me.

"That shouldn't be happening," he says. He runs his hands through his ginger hair.

"I don't like to jump to conclusions, but you wouldn't happen to be responsible for the world freezing around me, would you?" I ask. He chuckles. "If indeed you are, might I ask why that is the case?"

"It's true," he says, shaking his head, "I'm really speed-running the fanfic writer arc!"

"What are you talking about?" I step into the room and close the door behind me. It is empty besides his computer and desk, so I sit on the floor instead.

"Well, it all started with you, actually. A self-insert character is one of the main things people expect. And a dark side. Then there's the long absences between chapters, the ballooning word counts further into the story, and the endless supply of characters with little to no development."

"You're an author, and my life is one of your stories?"

"And now there's the chapter that's actually just a disguised note from me, talking about how I can't keep writing for some reason. So many stories end without even that, they're not marked as on hiatus because people...grow out of it, I guess. Or they forget their password. But I'm not the only narrator in this story. So it doesn't end just because I stop. So you showed up. So we can have the chapter where one of the characters talks to the author."

"You act as though this is inevitable. Are you not the creator of your own story? Can you not simply choose to move away from these genre trappings?"

"Too late now," he says, looking down at the keyboard, "I've already written over twenty chapters. They're set in stone."

"You can't edit? It is my understanding that writers frequently revise their work, sending it to editors and getting notes back."

"I've done a little editing. Mostly cleaning up grammar and spelling problems."

"As much as it pains me to say this, why don't you go back and fix things before writing the next chapter?" He shrugs. I stare at my hoof. "Why did you make me a pony?"

"Technically Celestia did that."

"Celestia being written by you."

He sighs. "That's another fanfiction-ism. Humans in Equestria. Some people have their character be an actual human, but I wanted you to blend in a bit more."

"Learning to walk with four legs was not an enjoyable experience."

"You sure about that? I have all the chapters here in other tabs, and you were narrating that part."

"I still would rather I had remained human."

"Well, suit yourself." He reaches for the keyboard. Mr. Olde turned into a human. I stare at my hand and wiggle my fingers. "It would kinda mess with the continuity if I made that change permanent, though."

"You're truly unwilling to revise the story?"

"Well, I'm not gonna mess with it that much." At this, I think for a moment. It's a relief that I can stroke my chin properly.

"Ah, but the change will be permanent!" I finally exclaim.

"How's that?"

"If this remains the last chapter, then I will never have to change back into a pony. That will make me permanently human!"

"Um."

"So you see-" Mr. Olde turned back into a pony. "Fiddlesticks."

"Yeah, trying to fight the author is another trope, and it doesn't usually go well for the characters."

"Is there no way you'll change your mind? I would much prefer to continue existing, after all." He leans towards me.

"It wouldn't help. Even if I did write a good ending for your story, it would still end. You're a lollipop asking me to finish it. Either I do, and you're gone, or I don't, and you end up in the bin. And eventually disappear."

"I still prefer the first option. At least the purpose of the lollipop is fulfilled if it's eaten." He leans back in his chair. It squeaks.

"Look, I can't promise you anything. That's another thing fanfics do. 'Oh, the next chapter? I'm working on it right now. It'll be done by Christmas!' But it isn't."

"However?" I let myself hope against hope. He looks at me, then at the computer, then at me again.

"I'll at least try. I can send you back. I can work a little on my other stories and see if the inspiration spreads to this one. But hey, at least if it didn't you got to be human for a few sentences."

"I suppose my only option is to accept those terms. How many other stories have you written?" I do hope it won't take him too long to come back to me.

"Oh, just six." Six?! He'll never circle back to mine! "Only got four of them published, though. And one of them is completed!" I stand up and head for the door. "Make sure to say hi to everypony for me!" They will never believe me. I open the door and head back into Rarity's shop. There are definitely worse places to spend eternity. I only hope I won't have to.

Author's Note:

Yup, something a little different this time. But pay attention to the story completion tag!